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Post by Lexica on Oct 2, 2020 12:01:40 GMT
Yes it's risky to give our personal information to participate in the card exchange. But it's a risk we all take. If would be unfair IMP for some to take that risk and not others. We're all in or were not. I can't remember what year this started but it's always been that way. I have no dog in this fight at all but why would it be unfair for some to just want pretty cards sent to their Pea name and not their personal name? It's just exchanging cards and seeing others' handiwork. I haven't participated in the card swap yet, and hope to do so next year, so I haven't read the rules yet. I don't understand why there is a need for anyone to use their real name. What would change if everyone just used their pea name? That isn't a snarky question, I truly don't understand why there is a need for using your real name. I admit I had less than an hour's sleep last night so I'm not so sharp, but I don't get the kerfuffle here. Either everyone agrees to use their real name or everyone agrees to use their pea name. No?
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Post by Lexica on Oct 2, 2020 12:16:22 GMT
If you don't use your real name how in the world would it be delivered to you? No way is our mail person going to deliver some mail to Peano podster to my house....?? you guys get random mail addressed to different people? we never have. Nobody here looks at names. Mail gets sorted and delivered based on address only. I’ve lived in my house for thirty years and to this day I still get junk mail with the previous homeowner’s name!I still get mail for someone who rented a room from me over 25 years ago. It is always advertising stuff, so I just trash it. I have no idea where the person lives now. If it is ever something that looks like a legitimate letter, I will just return it to the sender. I also get mail with a name I don't know but the address is mine. I can't forward it to anyone so I just trash it too. I even get mail for my neighbors - their name and their address - put into my box. I just send walk it down to their mailbox. My mail person sucks. Regarding how something like this swap could be held without putting your real name and address, using your pea name and a PO box would work while protecting your privacy, right?
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Post by lbp on Oct 2, 2020 12:16:25 GMT
If you don't use your real name how in the world would it be delivered to you? No way is our mail person going to deliver some mail to Peano podster to my house....?? you guys get random mail addressed to different people? we never have. The sorter reads the address not the name. It will get delivered to that address regardless of the name on it.
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Post by mikklynn on Oct 2, 2020 12:53:06 GMT
First of all thank you leowife for volunteering for the project. Everyone has their own level of security. I think we are all big girls here to decide if they want to participate in a swap or not. We are adults and I don't really think we need to be told what is right or wrong. If you have issues with something on your level, don't participate. If you are okay with it, then participate. It's like my 80 year old mom (who I love more than life) tells me how to drive.. I'm over 50, I know how to drive. You said it perfectly. peano Please don't let the haters drive you away. You are entitled to your feelings, even if I don't agree.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Oct 2, 2020 13:35:52 GMT
Nobody here looks at names. Mail gets sorted and delivered based on address only. I’ve lived in my house for thirty years and to this day I still get junk mail with the previous homeowner’s name!I still get mail for someone who rented a room from me over 25 years ago. It is always advertising stuff, so I just trash it. I have no idea where the person lives now. If it is ever something that looks like a legitimate letter, I will just return it to the sender. I also get mail with a name I don't know but the address is mine. I can't forward it to anyone so I just trash it too. I even get mail for my neighbors - their name and their address - put into my box. I just send walk it down to their mailbox. My mail person sucks. Regarding how something like this swap could be held without putting your real name and address, using your pea name and a PO box would work while protecting your privacy, right? There should not be any reason why peas cannot just use a pea name and a PO BOX. There are places in my county, which is city and suburban neighborhoods that use PO Boxes as their real, legit address. At one point in our lives, for 5 years, we opted to have a PO BOX for our mail instead of the mailbox in our driveway. mail was still delivered to the house, but everything like bills, banking, was all secured in the PO Box. REQUIRING a full name + pea name + street address (NO PO BOXES) is a bit constraining. There really is not a good reason to be requiring it. There have not been threads regarding any negativity with the card swap no one here has once mentioned any pea who received “hateful” cards.
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Post by peano on Oct 2, 2020 16:41:31 GMT
And for what it's worth peano , if I were doing the card swap this year, and you were doing the card swap, I would definitely have sent you a card. I feel like I've "known" you for years, and I've always liked you and enjoyed your posts. (Well, most of them! ) Aww, I would have loved sending and receiving a card from you too. It's so exciting to receive mail from foreign countries!
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Post by peano on Oct 2, 2020 16:47:44 GMT
I've done the swap a couple of years here and a couple of years before that on another message board. Yes, there are other places like this out there. I decided to stop participating due to the time involved. I can't imagine signing up for a card swap where people are going to mail you a physical card through USPS and NOT expecting to provide your name and address. I also can't imagine participating on any online forum whether it is here, Facebook or any other type of social media and truly expecting people to not know who you are and figure out at least approximately where you live if not exactly. It's why I don't bother hiding my identity behind a fake user name. I'm not going to tell people "Hey, I'm on vacation at the beach this week. In other words, my house is empty" but I'm not going to try to be that clandestine either. It just won't work. I kept my location limited to my state until Sandy Hook happened. It was only then that I revealed that I live in Newtown, for context. However, I never used my real name. Obviously a super sleuth could figure out my info in a hot minute but I'm not making it easy.
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861
Jul 30, 2017 3:38:57 GMT
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Post by muggins on Oct 2, 2020 16:48:50 GMT
When I participated in the swap, I preferred to get cards signed with the pea name so I knew who they were from. Any cards signed only with a real name left me stumped as to who sent it.
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Post by peano on Oct 2, 2020 16:58:24 GMT
How, exactly, does using one's own name protect others? Can someone be specific? I only see advantages to NOT using your own name. I am not trying to be a smartass or anything, I can't figure it out? As best as I can understand the rationale, making oneself vulnerable makes one less likely to take advantage of others' vulnerability. Nice theory but SO SO many potential areas for misuse, and requires a trust level that IMO hasn't been earned. That only happens in daylight and not behind a keyboard.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,241
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Oct 2, 2020 17:10:02 GMT
I stopped doing the swap a couple of years ago, when some Karens decided they needed to monitor what everyone else was doing. And, even though I use my real name on the board, it definitely wasn’t required to use a real name then. Because, honestly, even though people would see my real name and recognize it as my pea name, I’m an outlier. No one will get a card from Jane Doe and realize it’s happyscrappeagirlmomof2.
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Post by peano on Oct 2, 2020 17:21:46 GMT
OK, well I know way more about how postal delivery and P.O. Boxes work than I ever thought I would... Just a few closing thoughts: Thanks for the support from people who reached out. I was having a pretty down day yesterday and it made me feel better. mikklynn, what a thoughtful and kind response. I was accused of expecting special treatment, and maybe that is true. Because I live in Newtown, I have witnessed good friends being stalked, harassed and threatened by crazy conspiracy theorists and how terrifying and all-consuming that experience became. I suppose everyone's lives have been colored by their personal experiences, and this is how mine has been affected. It keeps me from taking the leap of faith that is required to participate according to the rules. Naively, I suppose, I thought taking part in the swap might help provide a cease fire in the battles that rage here daily and parallel the stark division between us as a country. I'm not a Christian, but I can totally get behind Peace On Earth. Thanks to the Peas who offered ideas for alternative outlets for my cards. Have made notes, and will be studying the rules and deadlines today. I know that active duty military people will be one outlet.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 23, 2024 23:33:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2020 17:42:58 GMT
How, exactly, does using one's own name protect others? Can someone be specific? I only see advantages to NOT using your own name. I am not trying to be a smartass or anything, I can't figure it out? As best as I can understand the rationale, making oneself vulnerable makes one less likely to take advantage of others' vulnerability. Nice theory but SO SO many potential areas for misuse, and requires a trust level that IMO hasn't been earned. That only happens in daylight and not behind a keyboard. I have a question. If you had concerns about providing your real name why didn’t you ask the question what address information was needed when you thought about joining the swap? There was at least one thread several weeks back when it was announced when the sign up was going to happen. I don’t believe it was a secret one provided their real name along with their address because in the years I have done this a couple of peas had said they would have like to join the swap but felt uncomfortable providing their real name and address. Its also a logical assumption that when you expect to receive something in the mail you provide your name and address. And if you are uncomfortable with it or you’re hiding something you pass. So if you had concerns why didn’t you ask the question when you first thought of joining the swap instead of waiting until now? It might have been better to ask the question then throwing this little temper tantrum that you did when you started this thread.
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Post by peano on Oct 2, 2020 18:04:00 GMT
The swap was never on my radar until this year. I never read the posts. Never looked into the rules. Assumed people supplied the level of info they were comfortable with. My “temper tantrum” as you call it was only a response to @leowife, who ignored me, hoping I’d take it to PM. I believe transparency leads to honest, open communication. As I said last night, I’d never have started the thread if she’d given me the dignity of a response. I also believed it was information other Peas might have found useful. I got a P. O. Box specifically for the purpose of doing this swap. I felt comfortable using my Pea name and a P.O. Box.
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Post by joblackford on Oct 2, 2020 19:13:07 GMT
REQUIRING a full name + pea name + street address (NO PO BOXES) is a bit constraining. Actually the PO Box was fine. It's just the name that was at issue. from the OP: leowife: Sorry no you have to use your real name...safety...PO box go for it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 23, 2024 23:33:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2020 20:56:27 GMT
Why don't you create a google sign up sheet of your own for yourself for peas who wish to exchange cards with you and who don't mind not having your real name. Then you can still enjoy the peas and use the cards as they were intended. Not a whole separate swap-just a list of people for you to send to and who want to send to you.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Oct 2, 2020 21:05:02 GMT
So...why a full name?
Why is it necessary?
Let’s assume (because it’s likely what it is) that because of leowife’s husbands profession, she’s got a problem/is leery about her info being put out into pea land. Understandable, probably.
Which is ironic/hypocritical, because it’s that same “special treatment” (or exception) is exactly that she and a few are harping lilypie over.
My thought is, and I spent a little time looking and found that the ONLY person who has even made mention of the card swap as political/no politics/drama has been leowife. No one else said anything about the swap being hateful, political, drama...
If you end up have someone who is truly hateful in the card swap (which I don’t believe that it even happened in the past) you’d have their address or at least the postmark of their city/state or pea name. That’s how we know each other. If anything it would likely be the preference!
If someone who signs up for the swap is going to be truly hateful, do you really think that they’re going to use any real info about themselves?
You don’t need a full name to execute the card swap.
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Post by myboysnme on Oct 2, 2020 21:05:33 GMT
I would give another name for sure if I had your concerns. Really, who is to know your name is not Jane Fox if you say it is? List 2 names at the post office with your PO Box - your real name and your card swap name. Or however you want to do it. I have gotten PO Boxes just to receive election materials for the Union. We listed the name of the organization's president on the application for the box, but every piece of mail that came did not have her name on it.
See this became a shit show because someone has some power they want to lord over someone else. No, you can't be part of the swap unless you do what I say. Then there are the other mean girls who stand behind her and say, "yeah, what she said." Doesn't surprise me and it has been awhile since I've seen a good shit show on 2peas.
I do not do card swaps. I have plenty of cards I send to my own friends IRL and I don't craft cards at all. I would maybe send one or two cards if someone said they were really wanting cards from anyone for some reason.
I'm sorry @peano, I really am. Maybe some peas will pm you their addresses and you can swap with them if they are willing. Generally I think people who like to send Christmas cards want to send to people who will enjoy them. I have a personal friend who opens a card, reads it, throws it immediately in the trash. She would never be in a card swap and you don't want to waste time sending her one. But as for the card swap, maybe someone will pm you a list and you can send to the ones you want to.
I hate rigid rules and I hate inflexible people. So I hope you find a way to make this a win for you.
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Post by SockMonkey on Oct 2, 2020 21:13:21 GMT
Hi y'all, Thank you to those who have commented, as I was called out I'll address this one last time. Maybe not to everyone's satisfaction but hell, can't please everyone right? It is a safety issue...if everyone else is putting their information out you can also. Why should you get special treatment? If your so concerned about a Pea finding out whom you are, maybe you should be looking at what you post and how you interact. The list has ALWAYS been email, name, address.Why should we share our information but you shouldn't? I wasn't going to say anything until I read this. This reasoning makes zero sense in terms of safety. She asked for a reasonable accommodation and you refused and you're being petty about it, especially commenting on her posting history. FOR A CHRISTMAS CARD SWAP. Merry Christmas. Jesus would be so proud.
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Post by MichyM on Oct 2, 2020 21:18:57 GMT
I am a rose-colored glasses girl and try not to rock the boat around these parts. I’m also out of the swap, so I have no dog in this fight.
Can anyone tell me, has the organizer ever backed up any of her claims with any sort of evidence? Whether it be people complaining about people not sending cards and/or hate and/or politically motivated mail being sent?
Thanks in advance.
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Post by mom on Oct 2, 2020 21:23:56 GMT
I am a rose-colored glasses girl and try not to rock the boat around these parts. I’m also out of the swap, so I have no dog in this fight. Can anyone tell me, has the organizer ever backed up any of her claims with any sort of evidence? Whether it be people complaining about people not sending cards and/or hate and/or politically motivated mail being sent? Thanks in advance. No. It’s all hear-say.
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Post by christine58 on Oct 2, 2020 21:30:16 GMT
I am a rose-colored glasses girl and try not to rock the boat around these parts. I’m also out of the swap, so I have no dog in this fight. Can anyone tell me, has the organizer ever backed up any of her claims with any sort of evidence? Whether it be people complaining about people not sending cards and/or hate and/or politically motivated mail being sent? Thanks in advance. No. It’s all hear-say. I wish that those who had it happen to them would speak up....but I don't think it will happen. She--the organizer--added a new rule today about needing to use your full real name.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Oct 2, 2020 21:32:37 GMT
As a former participant in the card swap, I’d like to see everyone included. It’s nonsensical to force Peas to use their real names when we don’t use them here. The person running the swap sounds like a micromanaging control freak.
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Post by MichyM on Oct 2, 2020 21:40:03 GMT
As a former participant in the card swap, I’d like to see everyone included. It’s nonsensical to force Peas to use their real names when we don’t use them here. The person running the swap sounds like a micromanaging control freak. I agree with that last sentence. Thanks for putting into words what’s been on my mind.
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Post by myboysnme on Oct 2, 2020 21:42:22 GMT
Hi y'all, Thank you to those who have commented, as I was called out I'll address this one last time. Maybe not to everyone's satisfaction but hell, can't please everyone right? It is a safety issue...if everyone else is putting their information out you can also. Why should you get special treatment? If your so concerned about a Pea finding out whom you are, maybe you should be looking at what you post and how you interact. The list has ALWAYS been email, name, address.Why should we share our information but you shouldn't? But thank you for calling me out and trying to deter the swap thread. 1 pea dropped because of my response to you and two asked to be removed because of your doxxing comment. But hey 70 Peas and we keep adding, so yes the swap is joyful, regardless of the meaness some have tried to bring. We all don't have an issue sharing our information, so why do you? Yes, my husband and I have concerns sharing our information especially now, but that is a risk we agreed on. We have the list and names of Peas just as all the other PEAS. You have chosen to try to deter Peas from the the Card Swap but that is your choice. Must be nice to chose to behave that way. If you had issues you could have addressed that privately instead of trying to "stir some s&$#" Join don't join but my god move on. I know I am, I've answered again and am done. Thanks y'all. I gotta say, this response is really reading mean girl. You may be beloved for all the wonderful things you do and have many fans, but this response is not even a little bit nice. Send all your greetings with your 70+ participants and the 16 folks who liked this response, but I would hazard a guess that I am not alone in finding this offputting to say the least.
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Post by tinydogmafia on Oct 2, 2020 23:01:20 GMT
After doing this swap every year since it's inception with Steph as the host, and lots of thought before I joined this year, I feel like I've made a mistake joining. And that pains me because this is something I love.
I guess being mostly a quiet participant on this board has made me not as aware of some things as I could be.
I've always signed my cards Tinydogmafia. And I can remember in years past, probably before the google document started, that people only used their pea name as who to address to. I don't see why that matters. I could have signed up as Regina Phalange with my address and no one would be the wiser?
IMO this is just beyond sad. Some of us (Myself included) don't do a lot or have a lot of family for the holidays. This has always been a bright spot for me. And now I'm left feeling like people are keeping tabs on the amount of cards I'm sending, and my personal info up for grabs if I should ever say the wrong thing here. That's not a good feeling.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,341
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Oct 2, 2020 23:30:41 GMT
I am sure all of us are grateful to @leowife for taking on the admin of the swap every year (I’m not sure how big a job it is, but as someone who’s not so good at keeping on top of admin stuff, I know I would be rubbish at it!). However, I don’t get why that means she gets to unilaterally make rules for the swap that excludes any Pea from taking part in it. It’s the “Two Peas Card Swap”, not “Leowife's Card Swap for Two Peas". If someone doesn’t want to use their real name, why does it matter? It’s not as if we would have any way to check if it was their real name, so it’s an unnecessary condition on being "allowed" to take part. (And that’s what it comes down to, one Pea deciding who can join and who can’t. And you can’t get much more mean girl than that.)
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Post by christine58 on Oct 2, 2020 23:35:38 GMT
IMO this is just beyond sad. Some of us (Myself included) don't do a lot or have a lot of family for the holidays. This has always been a bright spot for me. And now I'm left feeling like people are keeping tabs on the amount of cards I'm sending, and my personal info up for grabs if I should ever say the wrong thing here. That's not a good feeling. That's why I told Leowife to remove my name. I was so looking forward to it this year as the last two Holiday seasons have been a shit show for my family. I was not able to make or send as many due to my dad's health and helping out my mom with dad. He passed in January and this would have brought me a lot of joy. That joy is gone because now it feels so dictatorship--a couple of us had some suggestions and we were dismissed. Oh well...
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Post by christine58 on Oct 2, 2020 23:36:57 GMT
I am sure all of us are grateful to @leowife for taking on the admin of the swap every year (I’m not sure how big a job it is, but as someone who’s not so good at keeping on top of admin stuff, I know I would be rubbish at it!). However, I don’t get why that means she gets to unilaterally make rules for the swap that excludes any Pea from taking part in it. It’s the “Two Peas Card Swap”, not “Leowife's Card Swap for Two Peas". If someone doesn’t want to use their real name, why does it matter? It’s not as if we would have any way to check if it was their real name, so it’s an unnecessary condition on being "allowed" to take part. (And that’s what it comes down to, one Pea deciding who can join and who can’t. And you can’t get much more mean girl than that.) You said it nicer than I could. And @leowife will not respond...nope...
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Post by MichyM on Oct 2, 2020 23:42:23 GMT
I am sure all of us are grateful to @leowife for taking on the admin of the swap every year (I’m not sure how big a job it is, but as someone who’s not so good at keeping on top of admin stuff, I know I would be rubbish at it!). However, I don’t get why that means she gets to unilaterally make rules for the swap that excludes any Pea from taking part in it. It’s the “Two Peas Card Swap”, not “Leowife's Card Swap for Two Peas". If someone doesn’t want to use their real name, why does it matter? It’s not as if we would have any way to check if it was their real name, so it’s an unnecessary condition on being "allowed" to take part. (And that’s what it comes down to, one Pea deciding who can join and who can’t. And you can’t get much more mean girl than that.) That was my thought as well when she posted 6-8 different threads about it beginning like 6 weeks ago. When she brought politics into it for the last 3-4, I was out :/
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Oct 2, 2020 23:49:38 GMT
If you don't use your real name how in the world would it be delivered to you? No way is our mail person going to deliver some mail to Peano podster to my house....?? you guys get random mail addressed to different people? we never have. this is true here too. If the name is not listed it wont be delivered.
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