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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Oct 25, 2020 14:02:26 GMT
There is no shame in reaching out for support, help, comfort, understanding, etc.... via any source.....in person, on social media, on a message board. Many have found a support system here on this very message board, for the majority amongst "strangers" whom we only know by screennames. When one is hurting, in despair, overwhelmed with grief, lost, everything is going wrong, etc.... you reach for those "you know" even if they are "social media and message board strangers". We on the internet, who are message board participants and social media followers.....offer support to those we cyber engage with, because they have become our online communities.
Some people post all their personal business online, as apart of their "influencer" status. They do so with the intention of creating a community following. Dear Lizzy, in general, is a sweet lady, who doesn't make it a habit to ask for or beg for money. She doesn't misrepresent herself with sole intention of acquiring money or scamming money from community followers. Those who gave monetary donations genuinely like her and it's their way of supporting her. Disclaimer, I do not care for her or her Husbands past actions and do not follow her/them on social media, therefore I will not be donating. I do, however, believe she is genuinely a nice person and grateful for the support she and her children are receiving.
Just my personal opinion..... Some people(and we all know who they are), are wanna be somebodies or who are desperately trying to retain their self appointed "celebrity-guru-queen bee" statuses. These type of aforementioned people, will.... ask for money, beg for donations, misrepresent their situations into "a woe is me" for the sole purpose of financial gain. These type of people are not genuine, they are fake and phony......their sole intention is to take what they can get. They disguise themselves as kind, but in reality they are not. They are users. They will use whomever they can, if it brings they financial gain and/or feeds their ego.
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Post by sleepingbooty on Oct 25, 2020 15:16:20 GMT
nobody is expecting her to play nice, put on a happy face and hide her pain. We live in 2020 - that expectation is not placed upon women any more. Yeah, I don't get how people jump from "graving while raw to strangers on the internet might be scaring her kids" to "she needs to be happy-happy and hide her pain". There are a thousand options between those two poles. Precisely. I'm from a culture where grieving can be done very publicly including professional mourning (though that's become far less done). I really don't mind the visibility of grief or mourning. But I worry that her only safe space right now is IG. That's not healthy. Especially with her children following her and reaching out to her because of what they see her post on IG stories. I really hope she can find a constructive safe space to cry and scream besides social media. It's sad to think she may not have that IRL. Physical presence that accepts your anger is so important, too. I have two family members left and I'm in my thirties. I've had my fair share of mourning and grief. Finding those couple of people you can rely on to let you act out whichever stage of mourning you're in is so reassuring and healthy. I hope she has or can find those soon. You need someone who's not telling you banal clichés on death and the afterlife when you first work through it.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,611
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Oct 25, 2020 16:15:00 GMT
sleepingbooty I love the angle you’re taking-Instagram being her only safe space to grieve. That’s disturbing to me. I don’t think it’s attention seeking either. I think this woman is completely gutted right now and that makes very sad.
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Post by peachiceteas on Oct 25, 2020 16:17:33 GMT
sleepingbooty I love the angle you’re taking-Instagram being her only safe space to grieve. That’s disturbing to me. I don’t think it’s attention seeking either. I think this woman is completely gutted right now and that makes very sad. this is how I feel. I’m totally heartbroken for her. It’s painful to see someone in so much pain.
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,434
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
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Post by pinklady on Oct 25, 2020 16:46:49 GMT
Why shouldn’t she grieve in public? Why does it need to be done under wraps? She is sharing on her own account. Is there some sort of shame in that? Why do women always have to play nice and put on a happy face or go away to hide their pain? My cousin just had to comfort others and smile her way through her daughter’s death. It is really kind of sick that we have that sort of expectation. She can grieve in whatever way she wants, but they lived their life reaching for likes and follows and it's hard to know if this isn't for that too. When you broadcast your life for "swipe ups" your hard times don't feel authentic (to me) either. All while her husband promoted “deleting social media”. Screams of hypocrisy to me.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,611
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Oct 25, 2020 18:42:43 GMT
She can grieve in whatever way she wants, but they lived their life reaching for likes and follows and it's hard to know if this isn't for that too. When you broadcast your life for "swipe ups" your hard times don't feel authentic (to me) either. All while her husband promoted “deleting social media”. Screams of hypocrisy to me. To me it screams “I have literally no one else who will listen to my cries”.
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maryjo
Full Member
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Jul 31, 2015 16:40:25 GMT
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Post by maryjo on Oct 25, 2020 20:18:33 GMT
sleepingbooty I love the angle you’re taking-Instagram being her only safe space to grieve. That’s disturbing to me. I don’t think it’s attention seeking either. I think this woman is completely gutted right now and that makes very sad. this is how I feel. I’m totally heartbroken for her. It’s painful to see someone in so much pain. Both of these ring true to me. How could she not be gutted? I believe she loved him and her children and is devastated. I believe that she may have been a bit sheltered and in a bubble when it came to her relationship and that always makes it ten times worse. I could be wrong. I don’t know her at all just what I see on social media and in the scrapbook community. So there is no way in hell I’m going to judge her. Not at all. Their family has been torn apart and deserve some compassion and grace right now.
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Post by refugeepea on Oct 25, 2020 21:17:24 GMT
I also feel like the LDS part doesn’t help either. The religion seems to be so wrapped up in appearances. It doesn’t really matter what is in the inside as long as you appear great on the outside. It seems like quite the facade. It seems she is realizing that in her posts. It's true what you are saying, but it's complicated. If you were to see my family and the people that live all around me, it would look NOTHING like the Mormon mommy influencers you see on Instagram. I've said it before, they are a group within a group. It irritates me to no end when this is the image that is portrayed of Mormons.
Most Mormon women don't have time to follow these accounts and keep up. Most don't want to. Why get depressed seeing their perfectly curated life with their amazing vacations, homes, the latest and the greatest, skinny bodies, and well mannered children? They know there is likely issues that are never shown. Or they don't see the point in following someone they don't know when they are already LDS, have more kids than the national average, and are like big deal, most families in the LDS church are doing the same thing she does, jut not broadcasting it to everyone.
It is okay to grieve on the outside. What is really pushed is Forever families. Some get through just fine saying this is hard but I know that I will see them again. I'm actually proud of Lizzy for using "bad words" and cussing at God. She's angry and that's okay. That is also not a typical way for LDS people to grieve in that way very publicly. Maybe knowing she has a wider fan base, not LDS helps her. She feels she can be more raw. Rather than posting that on the ward Facebook page and getting, "Oh honey, don't be sad. Families are Forever. God wanted Collin to come home. He's completed his mission or any number of well meaning but completely stupid responses.
Sure there are obviously these types of Mormon mommies out there, but honestly, it is not the norm. When I was an active member of the church, I can honestly only think of maybe one or two women in the wards I belonged to who might have fit into the perfect Mormon mommy category. Even then, nothing like what you see on Instagram.
Then there's this culture of toxic positivity. It is taught to not have contention in the home. Do your best to be happy, happy, happy! See the silver lining in everything. Fake it until you make it. Our life is temporary. No trial is too small. It is but for a small time. We'll soon have eternity to be with our loved ones.
No wonder I didn't last.
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leeny
Pearl Clutcher
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Location: Northern California
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Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Oct 25, 2020 21:18:30 GMT
She can grieve in whatever way she wants, but they lived their life reaching for likes and follows and it's hard to know if this isn't for that too. When you broadcast your life for "swipe ups" your hard times don't feel authentic (to me) either. All while her husband promoted “deleting social media”. Screams of hypocrisy to me. I don't agree with everything my husband says or promotes. What didn't work for him obviously works for her especially since that is how she gained her popularity.
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nicolep
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,077
Jan 26, 2016 16:10:43 GMT
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Post by nicolep on Oct 26, 2020 0:50:53 GMT
refugeepea I always appreciate your help and sharing your experience so that at least I can better understand the LDS way. Thank you! 😊
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 27, 2020 2:32:19 GMT
I have a FB friend who lost her husband in May. He was in his 40's and they were best friends since high school. She posted A LOT on FB about her pain and what she was going through and how hard it was for her adult kids. Lots of pictures, a few videos and some religious posts included. Many were very hard to read, but I could see little break throughs and moments of happiness in there too. I think she needed an outlet and lots of support. For her, I think it helped.
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Post by mom on Nov 13, 2020 13:58:27 GMT
Anyone catch Lizs post overnight about colins brother and cutting up his gift card?
Yikes. Somethings need to stay off Instagram.
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Post by sleepingbooty on Nov 13, 2020 14:04:59 GMT
Anyone catch Lizs post overnight about colins brother and cutting up his gift card? Yikes. Somethings need to stay off Instagram. Yeah, it's turning into public airing of private grievances. Not cool. Sounds like her deceased husband's brother's was trying to apologise but hey, he "needs to find Jesus". In the meantime, people sent her money on GFM Venmo to make up for the gift card she destroyed on IG stories. Way to go, Lizzy. That's $40 a person in need would have been extremely grateful for. Food is not a commodity everyone can afford. Glad to see she can waste it like that. I'll stick up for her crying and screaming. I won't for this stupid, snotty, privileged behaviour.
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nicolep
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,077
Jan 26, 2016 16:10:43 GMT
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Post by nicolep on Nov 13, 2020 14:09:17 GMT
I'll stick up for her crying and screaming. I won't for this stupid, snotty, privileged behaviour. Yep. I had to quit looking at her feed and stories. Horribly sorry this has happened to her and her family but someone needs to help her.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 1:29:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2020 15:28:21 GMT
Anyone catch Lizs post overnight about colins brother and cutting up his gift card? Yikes. Somethings need to stay off Instagram. Yikes What's $40 when your GFM raised 300k?
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,434
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
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Post by pinklady on Nov 13, 2020 15:35:10 GMT
Yeah, I’m now in the camp of a functioning adult needs to be parenting her children. That family need therapy stat!
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Post by groovy on Nov 13, 2020 15:37:16 GMT
Anyone catch Lizs post overnight about colins brother and cutting up his gift card? Yikes. Somethings need to stay off Instagram. Yikes What's $40 when your GFM raised 300k? Surprised to see her say that her family needs food.🤷🏻♀️
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Post by hop2 on Nov 13, 2020 15:41:13 GMT
God forbid she donate the damned GC to a food bank or something. You know how many kids never get things like that because their family doesn’t have the money.
Not very Christian imho
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dawnnikol
Prolific Pea
'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
Posts: 7,749
Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on Nov 13, 2020 15:47:27 GMT
"And look my family needs food right now." ... "Money doesn't rule me and my life."
#1 If my family needed food, you bet your ass I'd be doing ANYTHING to feed them. My pride can take a backseat while I take care of them.
#2 As was pointed out, you are going to receive over $300 THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS from your GoFundMe. Nice you can keep your pride though.
#3 Now, *they* need to find Jesus. So, it's okay for YOU to proclaim "there is no God" in your grief, but they are not allowed to express their grief? Let them live with their regrets, that's not your job, but you could've donated the gift card.
Good gravy.
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nicolep
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,077
Jan 26, 2016 16:10:43 GMT
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Post by nicolep on Nov 13, 2020 15:52:03 GMT
Umm yeah. This is not going to end well. I'm having Tracie Claiborne $$$ flashbacks.
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Post by sleepingbooty on Nov 13, 2020 16:29:30 GMT
you could've donated the gift card And Christmas is right around the corner. In the midst of a pandemic when over 20% of Americans report not having enough food. I can't believe she just cut up that gift card and proudly posted it. Ugh, she can take her anger to a therapist because this is spoiled tween behaviour.
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Post by Citygirl on Nov 13, 2020 16:47:28 GMT
Very juvenile.
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Post by mom on Nov 13, 2020 17:50:09 GMT
I’ve really tried to give her space to grieve the way she needs to. But this just is too much. And then to try and explain it away? Nope.
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Post by katyscrap on Nov 13, 2020 17:51:37 GMT
I saw last week she posted that they have no dental insurance either. That's crazy to me that they never thought about life insurance or dental insurance. Seems like living in the moment to the extreme.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 1:29:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2020 18:30:44 GMT
she posted that they have no dental insurance either. Whhhhaaaaaa?!?!?!??!?!? OMG. I hate influencer culture. It's all about show over substance. Give me the quiet moms and dads who do the hard work of raising their kids in obscurity but with love, sense, peace and privacy.
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Post by sam9 on Nov 13, 2020 18:39:03 GMT
I saw last week she posted that they have no dental insurance either. That's crazy to me that they never thought about life insurance or dental insurance. Seems like living in the moment to the extreme. And I thought she said it in a very Go Fund Me now kind of way. She needs help. Her poor children. Is she Mormon?
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nicolep
Drama Llama
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Jan 26, 2016 16:10:43 GMT
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Post by nicolep on Nov 13, 2020 19:01:33 GMT
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GiantsFan
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Posts: 8,259
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Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Nov 13, 2020 19:15:28 GMT
she posted that they have no dental insurance either. Whhhhaaaaaa?!?!?!??!?!? OMG. I hate influencer culture. It's all about show over substance. Give me the quiet moms and dads who do the hard work of raising their kids in obscurity but with love, sense, peace and privacy. And insurance! ETA - Sorry I couldn't resist.
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Post by karinec on Nov 13, 2020 19:34:59 GMT
I saw last week she posted that they have no dental insurance either. That's crazy to me that they never thought about life insurance or dental insurance. Seems like living in the moment to the extreme. That is insane.
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Post by refugeepea on Nov 13, 2020 20:40:51 GMT
And I thought she said it in a very Go Fund Me now kind of way. She needs help. Her poor children. Is she Mormon? Yes, but I'm afraid she's spiraling. This isn't typical, if you can even say typical of how Mormons grieve. It tends not to be public like this.
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