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Post by jenjie on Nov 22, 2020 16:18:39 GMT
View AttachmentMy son’s school is doing an art project fundraiser. He is 7 years old. He brought home the flier and it had his picture superimposed onto it (see image above). He was so very excited about putting his art onto a keychain. While we love his picture, we were a little bit confused about why he drew a picture of a rat, as they are not his favorite animal. The exchange went like this: Me: “It’s a great picture buddy, your rat is nice and I really love the background”. Him: “Thanks mommy!” Me: “But, why did you draw a picture of a rat for this project?” Him: “Because my art teacher said we HAD to draw a picture of our family’s pet. And we don’t have a pet, and I wasn’t sure what to draw. But then I remembered that sometimes we get mice in the basement! And since the basement is part of our house, it’s close enough to a pet where I thought it would count!” Me: 😵🤣🤣🤣🤣. “Did you tell anyone this story at school?” Him: “Nope! Why are you laughing? What is so funny? I’m outta here!” 😱😱😱😂😂😂 Oh my word! We’ve caught 5 mice recently and I don’t count any of them as pets! 😂. Too funny!
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 23, 2020 15:32:44 GMT
WHICH NOVEMBER HOLIDAY IS DRACULA’S FAVORITE? Fangs-giving!
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 24, 2020 15:30:38 GMT
IF PILGRIMS WERE ALIVE TODAY, WHAT WOULD THEY BE KNOWN FOR ? Their age!
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Post by malibou on Nov 24, 2020 16:39:01 GMT
At the grocery store this morning I overhear a girl of about 4 ask her mom, What's a maskhole? Without missing a beat the mom very matter of factly says, Maskholes are assholes. I stifle a giggle and a couple of minutes later the girl replys, I don't think I get it. Are some people suppose to wear masks on their buttholes or are some people wearing masks just assholes? Again the mom's reply is super calm, I can't think of any reason someone needs a mask on their butthole. And of course some people wearing masks are assholes, but a maskhole is some who is an asshole and doesn't want to wear a mask. I am so giggling now and trying to cover it up when the little girl says in this ultra knowing way, Ohhhh, I get it. They are assholes who are assholes. Both the mom and I bust up laughing and the mom shouts, BINGO!
FYI I was that mother, the one that swore in front of her kid. I have zero issue with colourful language.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 25, 2020 15:44:57 GMT
WHAT DO YOU CALL A TURKEY ON THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING?? Lucky.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 26, 2020 14:45:00 GMT
WHAT DO YOU CALL A TURKEY ON THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING? Lucky.
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 27, 2020 15:04:14 GMT
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 28, 2020 14:58:50 GMT
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 29, 2020 16:09:25 GMT
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Post by mnmloveli on Nov 30, 2020 14:36:07 GMT
KNOCK KNOCK. Who’s there ? MURRAY. Murray who ? MURRAY CHRISTMAS, ONE AND ALL !
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 1, 2020 15:59:29 GMT
WHY DO MUMMIES LIKE THE HOLIDAYS SO MUCH ? They’re into all the wrapping. ENJOY your shopping ! 24 Days to go !
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 2, 2020 15:24:03 GMT
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 3, 2020 15:17:09 GMT
KNOCK KNOCK Who’s there ? PIZZA Pizza who ! PIZZA ON EARTH, GOOD WILL TOWARD MEN
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 4, 2020 15:23:44 GMT
WHAT IS A BIRD’S FAVORITE CHRISTMAS STORY? The Finch Who Stole Christmas!
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 5, 2020 15:17:41 GMT
WHAT DOES A GRUMPY SHEEP SAY AT CHRISTMAS? “Baaaaaa humbug!”
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 6, 2020 14:27:23 GMT
WHAT DO YOU CALL A SHARK THAT DELIVERS TOYS AT CHRISTMAS? “Santa Jaws” WHERE DO SNOWMEN KEEP THEIR MONEY? In a snow bank.
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 7, 2020 15:35:06 GMT
WHAT ARE YOU GIVING MOM & DAD FOR CHRISTMAS? A list of everything I want!!! DID YOU KNOW SANTA HAD ONLY 8 REINDEER LAST CHRISTMAS? Comet stayed home to clean the sink!!!
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 8, 2020 15:37:23 GMT
WHAT DOES JACK FROST LIKE BEST ABOUT SCHOOL? Snow and tell.
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 9, 2020 15:36:14 GMT
WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA CLAUS WITH UNFOLDED CLOTHES? Kris Wrinkle. WHO IS SANTA’S FAVORITE SINGER? Elf-is Presley!
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Post by malibou on Dec 9, 2020 17:32:50 GMT
Thank you mnmloveli. Your posts have given me many a giggle.
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ComplicatedLady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,037
Location: Valley of the Sun
Jul 26, 2014 21:02:07 GMT
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Post by ComplicatedLady on Dec 10, 2020 4:43:30 GMT
WHO IS SANTA’S FAVORITE SINGER? Elf-is Presley! Oh, I have to remember this one! As an Elvis Presley fan, this may become my go to holiday joke!
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 10, 2020 15:03:23 GMT
SOMEONE MUST BE MAD AT FROSTY THE SNOWMAN. Why? Because they gave him two black eyes.
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 11, 2020 14:13:06 GMT
WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS AN iPAD WITH A CHRISTMAS TREE? A pineapple!
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,431
Jul 6, 2014 23:59:59 GMT
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Post by peasquared on Dec 11, 2020 16:02:20 GMT
Thanks for the laughs mnmloveli! I can't wait to tell some of these to my grandkids!
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 12, 2020 15:07:48 GMT
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR? I haven’t decided yet. WHAT DID YOU GIVE HIM LAST YEAR? The measles. WHAT HAS A JOLLY LAUGH, BRINGS YOU PRESENTS AND SCRATCHES UP YOUR FURNITURE? Santa Claws !
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 13, 2020 14:18:06 GMT
WHAT DO ROAD CREWS USE AT THE NORTH POLE? Snow Cones!!! WHERE DO POLAR BEARS VOTE ? The North Poll!
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 14, 2020 14:43:06 GMT
TEACHER : JOHNNY, DEFINE CLAUSTROPHOBIA. Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus ?
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 15, 2020 14:39:41 GMT
WHY DID RUDOLPH GET A BAD REPORT ? Because he went down in history.
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 16, 2020 14:39:33 GMT
WHAT NATIONALITY IS SANTA CLAUS? North Polish !
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Post by mnmloveli on Dec 17, 2020 15:52:31 GMT
WHAT DO YOU CALL A NASTY, MEAN REINDEER ? Rude-olph !!!!!!!
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