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Post by shevy on Nov 26, 2020 0:33:41 GMT
So remember the Christmas my 53 year old husband (P) got a 52 year old brother (K) from Germany for Christmas via Ancestry at Thanksgiving time? And then he randomly showed up in our city right at Christmas and asked to meet up with P and my husbands sister (D)? And everyone agreed that he was a spitting image of their Dad and was likely a half brother. Then D did Ancestry and they were matched as family.
Of note is that although my hubby, P, is from his father and mother, his original birth certificate only has his mom on it because they were unmarried and his father was in Vietnam. He was MIA and found several months afterwards with an injury and rehabed in Hawaii. Once back in Germany, he formally adopted my hubby, P.
Since then, K has disappeared a few times, cutting off all ties with P & D. Then all the sudden he adds everyone on social media, then a few months go by and he disappears again.
In Sept of this year, P and D were served paperwork in German from family court in Germany regarding K. Basically K filed in family court where he was born to get their Dad on his birth certificate as his father. K had filed everything he had found on their Dad, P and D, along with all their Dad’s service records. The court concluded that because it was unlikely that his sister, D, would travel to Germany, no DNA testing could be done. My hubby, P, is not considered viable for DNA because of the adoption certificate. However, the Court agreed that testing should be done. Neither my hubby, P or his sister, D, did anything.
However D was served today again directing her to go to an approved lab for DNA testing and 30 days to respond. It’s again from the German Family Court.
If you’ve read this far, thank you. Neither D or my hubby, P, are wanting to participate in testing for various reasons.
Should she get an attorney who specializes in international family law? Or is a regular family attorney ok?
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 26, 2020 0:35:35 GMT
I dont know anything, but is there an inheritance he is trying to get?
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Post by pierkiss on Nov 26, 2020 0:38:11 GMT
How can they mandate that she get testing? What exactly will a German court do if she refuses? They cannot come and get her from here. Are you all for sure the legal papers are legit? Why does he want this now? Is there an estate he would be entitled to if shown he is a genetic match to your husbands dad? I remember you have told this story here before, but I’m fuzzy on all the details.
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Post by shevy on Nov 26, 2020 0:43:59 GMT
I dont know anything, but is there an inheritance he is trying to get? That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for.
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Post by shevy on Nov 26, 2020 0:47:34 GMT
How can they mandate that she get testing? What exactly will a German court do if she refuses? They cannot come and get her from here. Are you all for sure the legal papers are legit? Why does he want this now? Is there an estate he would be entitled to if shown he is a genetic match to your husbands dad? I remember you have told this story here before, but I’m fuzzy on all the details. No idea, that’s why D is considering an attorney. The only thing we can come up with is that K may be able to get US Citizenship if their Dad is on the birth certificate. However, K owns a small business in Europe, where he lives. To live here, he’d have to sell, come here and gain employment to support himself. But with all the unemployment, bows not a great time to do that.
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Peal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,524
Jun 25, 2014 22:45:40 GMT
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Post by Peal on Nov 26, 2020 0:48:58 GMT
I dont know anything, but is there an inheritance he is trying to get? That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for. Citizenship? If he has an American dad can he get US citizenship? Or am I misunderstanding and the father wasn't a US G.I. stationed in Germany and is actually German?
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Post by supersoda on Nov 26, 2020 0:49:25 GMT
There are very specific steps that have to be followed to enforce orders from foreign countries and what is required depends on that country's agreement with the United States. An attorney with international law experience is more likely to know what these procedures are, so I'd say that international law experience is probably more important than family law experience. A bigger firm might be better in this case than a small or solo firm so that you can draw experience from various practice areas. If you're in a smaller town, I'd look in bigger cities for someone with the right experience. I'd also guess that international family law is niche enough that they're going to be pretty pricey.
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Post by hookturnian on Nov 26, 2020 0:50:43 GMT
I dont know anything, but is there an inheritance he is trying to get? That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for. Is Citizenship by Descent a thing in the US?
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Nov 26, 2020 0:51:13 GMT
Maybe you/dh should find a lawyer who could write a letter or two inquiring info directly from the court. All the whys and what fors... That might open a door better left closed though.
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 26, 2020 0:53:01 GMT
That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for. Is Citizenship by Descent a thing in the US? yes, you only need one parent to be a citizen and then you are a citizen
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lizacreates
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,856
Aug 29, 2015 2:39:19 GMT
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Post by lizacreates on Nov 26, 2020 0:56:29 GMT
How can they mandate that she get testing? What exactly will a German court do if she refuses? They cannot come and get her from here. Are you all for sure the legal papers are legit? Why does he want this now? Is there an estate he would be entitled to if shown he is a genetic match to your husbands dad? I remember you have told this story here before, but I’m fuzzy on all the details. No idea, that’s why D is considering an attorney. The only thing we can come up with is that K may be able to get US Citizenship if their Dad is on the birth certificate. However, K owns a small business in Europe, where he lives. To live here, he’d have to sell, come here and gain employment to support himself. But with all the unemployment, bows not a great time to do that. There's no way to contact K to find out what's going on?
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Post by shevy on Nov 26, 2020 1:00:58 GMT
He’s disappeared again. No social media and changed his phone number.
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LeaP
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Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Nov 26, 2020 1:01:33 GMT
That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for. Citizenship? If he has an American dad can he get US citizenship? Or am I misunderstanding and the father wasn't a US G.I. stationed in Germany and is actually German? That was my first thought. If K has children it would be handy to have dual citizenship.
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Nov 26, 2020 1:08:31 GMT
Sure looks like this person is trying to get citizenship. I sure would not to give out my dna info. Something doesn’t sound right with this person.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 28, 2024 13:03:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2020 1:13:18 GMT
You DH’s sister needs to see an International Lawyer to see what is going on here not only to cover the DNA request but also to confirm that the correspondence from “the court” is legit. I can only speak for the UK, I don’t know what the German Law is but something is not right. You can’t register a father’s name on a Birth Certificate here without the consent of the mother if you are unmarried whatever the DNA is. Obviously this can’t be done in this case Whether the same applies in Germany I don’t know.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Refupea #146
Posts: 6,304
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Nov 26, 2020 1:15:02 GMT
If he was truly wanting her to give her DNA he would be reachable and would answer any questions you have about why he’s doing this. The fact that he’s unreachable makes me think he’s up to no good.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Nov 26, 2020 1:25:44 GMT
If he was truly wanting her to give her DNA he would be reachable and would answer any questions you have about why he’s doing this. The fact that he’s unreachable makes me think he’s up to no good.I don't disagree with this, but how many times have we told peas going through a divorce: "get off social media and do not talk to your husband except through your lawyers." shevy , not sure where D lives, but she may want to google to see if there is a German consulate office nearby. Perhaps they would agree to see her and at least tell her if the summons looks legit. Maybe one of the offices would even take a scan of the document and an email.
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,396
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
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Post by theshyone on Nov 26, 2020 3:00:54 GMT
I am in a number of DNA groups for people searching for birth and bio parents. I don’t understand it but many do go through the procedure to get the bio parent added or amended to their birth certificate. Full blown adults. Not even international cases. All around the world. Not something I would ever do, but to each their own. Finding knowledge of a bio parent is extremely emotional
I don’t understand why D doesn’t want her testing done to confirm siblingship? She already did ancestry that is putting her DNA out there in a more public way.
If he had a GI Dad of USA origin he is entitled to USA citizenship. I don’t see a reason why he shouldn’t get it.
Your husband could get his certificate amended to show father as bio Dad and not adopted too. Others have in the groups I’m in.
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Post by bc2ca on Nov 26, 2020 4:12:58 GMT
If he was truly wanting her to give her DNA he would be reachable and would answer any questions you have about why he’s doing this. The fact that he’s unreachable makes me think he’s up to no good. If you’ve read this far, thank you. Neither D or my hubby, P, are wanting to participate in testing for various reasons. Given that he knows D & P aren't interested in participating and haven't voluntarily provided the DNA it is reasonable IMHO that he is letting his attorney take care of things and is not reachable. TBH, I'm feeling a little for this guy. It sounds like they do share the same dad and he may be struggling with trying to figure out who he is and dealing with rejection. It's definitely complicated.
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Post by Basket1lady on Nov 26, 2020 10:41:55 GMT
I would contact a lawyer to find out my legal rights. We can speculate all we want, but you really need legal advice.
You’re in Minnesota, right? We are using a family lawyer in St Peter who seems very through. (In-laws moved into care and we are dealing with issues with two family trusts.) He also advises when we need to legally do something and when it’s not worth the money to pursue. If you are near there, I’d be happy to pass on his info.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
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Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Nov 26, 2020 12:26:29 GMT
He’s disappeared again. No social media and changed his phone number. Totes sketch. Is there any reason to respond at all? Just ignore it. It's not like the German authorities are going to come force your DH and SIL to submit their information.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,530
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Nov 26, 2020 13:20:00 GMT
If he was truly wanting her to give her DNA he would be reachable and would answer any questions you have about why he’s doing this. The fact that he’s unreachable makes me think he’s up to no good. If you’ve read this far, thank you. Neither D or my hubby, P, are wanting to participate in testing for various reasons. Given that he knows D & P aren't interested in participating and haven't voluntarily provided the DNA it is reasonable IMHO that he is letting his attorney take care of things and is not reachable. TBH, I'm feeling a little for this guy. It sounds like they do share the same dad and he may be struggling with trying to figure out who he is and dealing with rejection. It's definitely complicated. I would too if he didn’t have the history of disappearing and then showing up again. I find that peculiar and I can understand the reluctance to participate in a procedure that would tie me to him.
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 26, 2020 13:31:40 GMT
I would get a lawyer that specializes in international law.
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Post by koontz on Nov 26, 2020 13:38:35 GMT
He’s disappeared again. No social media and changed his phone number. Can you contact him through his business? Otherwise I`d check with a law firm that also has offices in Germany.
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Post by librarylady on Nov 26, 2020 13:50:11 GMT
I dont know anything, but is there an inheritance he is trying to get? That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for. I think he is hoping to be declared a US citizen and eventually a US passport for travel.
The US passport MIGHT get one through places that a German one might not.
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Post by hop2 on Nov 26, 2020 13:55:30 GMT
I dont know anything, but is there an inheritance he is trying to get? That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for. US citizenship?
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Post by hop2 on Nov 26, 2020 13:56:09 GMT
That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for. I think he is hoping to be declared a US citizen and eventually a US passport for travel.
The US passport MIGHT get one through places that a German one might not.
I don’t know at this point I think I’d prefer the German one lol
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 28, 2024 13:03:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2020 14:09:34 GMT
That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for. I think he is hoping to be declared a US citizen and eventually a US passport for travel.
The US passport MIGHT get one through places that a German one might not.
What country might not accept a German Passport? I can't think of anywhere off the top of my head. In fact it would not be a totally German passport anyhow it would be a EU passport for a German citizen. EU passport is a passport issued by one of the 27 member states of the European Union and allows you to travel visa-free between all EU countries, and to a large number of third-countries the EU has bilateral agreements with.
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Post by Lindarina on Nov 26, 2020 14:25:45 GMT
That’s just it, there’s no money, land or anything. When their Dad died, there was a small life insurance. After he died there was a small settlement of backpay from his service years. But he died 13 years ago. None of us can figure out what exactly K is doing all this for. I think he is hoping to be declared a US citizen and eventually a US passport for travel.
The US passport MIGHT get one through places that a German one might not.
A German/EU passport is probably one of the better ones to have these days. Sounds like he’s trying to fill in some missing pieces in his family tree. It seems odd to deny him this simple Dna test, especially since the sister has already freely given it to Ancestry. But seeking some advice from a lawyer is always smart.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 28, 2024 13:03:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2020 14:41:19 GMT
I would recommend contacting someone that specializes in International Law.
Having just gone through guardianship issues with my BIL, I will tell you that nothing transferred to Moroccan Law from the guardianship. We are still sorting out his assets that remain Stateside, but nothing is applicable here.
I am a bit confused how a German court can demand that you go to a lab in the States. I am assuming that is where you are. I am a bit perplexed as to how they have the judicial authority to do that. Again, this is why I think it is best you consult an expert before doing ANYTHING!
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