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Post by betsyg on Jan 15, 2021 21:25:59 GMT
While you love them both, please remember that your loyalty is to your son, even if he is at fault. That doesn't mean that you can't stay in contact with the DIL, but tread lightly and be respectful of your son's wishes where that is concerned. My ex-DH had the ear of my parents and fed them crap and THEY LISTENED! I couldn't believe the betrayal. While I forgive them, it has forever harmed our relationship and also the relationship that they have with my kids.
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Post by kraft4fun on Jan 16, 2021 2:01:30 GMT
My daughter and her husband are currently separated. She moved out in August and they split the kids (4 & 6) time equally. Lucky she was able to get an affordable loft halfway between the house and work (they are both military and stationed at same base). Hoping they get back together (been together for 15 years and married 8 next month). But if they do not, I know they will do what is right by the kids.
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casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,449
Jun 29, 2014 14:40:44 GMT
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Post by casii on Jan 18, 2021 18:57:27 GMT
I wanted to circle back and thank you all for your help, stories and experience. We've been on the phone with him for at least 2 hours everyday, mostly talking about inconsequential stuff (he loves to cook), but with some serious stuff in there too.
His baby sister's birthday was this past weekend and he's not ready to break the news to his sisters yet, so honestly I need an academy award because I do not lie well and when I usually tell a fib, my face gives me away. It was best to not talk about their brother at all and he had called her the night before already.
I imagine these next several months or more will continue to be rough. I do wish my DH wasn't so talented at compartmentalizing and naturally perky because his chipper mood is getting on my last nerve. LOL I need someone to crawl in the trenches of emotional pain with me!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 10:34:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2021 17:04:57 GMT
One of the most difficult steps in the divorce process is talking about your decision with your adult children. It may feel like admitting a failure, or letting them down. Divorce is a major life crisis for all family members and should be treated as such, even when your children are no longer “kids.” Children who are adults when their parents divorced consistently report years later the news of their parents get a divorce “rocked the very foundation” of their world. You are making a good start and doing the best you can. You are reading this blog post. Give yourself permission not to be perfect. No one is perfect. Breathe deeply; you and your children can get through this difficult time together. It takes a special kind of creep to resurrect someone’s personal pain so you can try to make a buck off total strangers. Go back to the rock you crawled out from under.
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Post by bc2ca on Feb 24, 2021 17:12:25 GMT
It takes a special kind of creep to resurrect someone’s personal pain so you can try to make a buck off total strangers. Go back to the rock you crawled out from under. Especially one who completely misread the OP.
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Post by MichyM on Feb 24, 2021 17:21:05 GMT
One of the most difficult steps in the divorce process is talking about your decision with your adult children. It may feel like admitting a failure, or letting them down. Divorce is a major life crisis for all family members and should be treated as such, even when your children are no longer “kids.” Children who are adults when their parents divorced consistently report years later the news of their parents get a divorce “rocked the very foundation” of their world. You are making a good start and doing the best you can. You are reading this blog post. Give yourself permission not to be perfect. No one is perfect. Breathe deeply; you and your children can get through this difficult time together. admin. Another one post wonder posting links.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Mar 29, 2024 10:34:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2021 17:21:13 GMT
One of the most difficult steps in the divorce process is talking about your decision with your adult children. It may feel like admitting a failure, or letting them down. Divorce is a major life crisis for all family members and should be treated as such, even when your children are no longer “kids.” Children who are adults when their parents divorced consistently report years later the news of their parents get a divorce “rocked the very foundation” of their world. You are making a good start and doing the best you can. You are reading this blog post. Give yourself permission not to be perfect. No one is perfect. Breathe deeply; you and your children can get through this difficult time together.
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casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,449
Jun 29, 2014 14:40:44 GMT
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Post by casii on Feb 24, 2021 18:52:08 GMT
I was just gonna let it slide but nothing gets past the Peas.
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Post by malibou on Feb 24, 2021 21:04:52 GMT
I have an only. I would have had two, but DH was done at one. I’m actually not very maternal nor motherly (just ask my DS!), but I know I would have always thought, “what if?” As I’ve gotten older I’ve actually regretted not having two. Not for me, but for DS. Our family has always been so insular and we never lived near family (military). I worry about my son being alone when we’re gone. He also says he’s never getting married or having kids. This sounds like my Ds is double dipping on families. 😉 We have never lived close to family and Ds swears he is not getting married nor having kids. I'm less concerned about him being alone. He was a late talker, his 3rd sentence was, By the way I don't want any brothers and sisters for my birthday or Christmas! He was almost 4 at the time. At 20 is glad to be an only.
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,595
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Aug 29, 2014 18:57:20 GMT
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Post by hannahruth on Feb 25, 2021 11:23:04 GMT
I think the best thing you can do is listen to your child (and your child-in-law if you have that sort of relationship). Don't take sides, don't say things about the other person, don't offer advise, just listen and be there for them and pray for them (if you are one to pray). I agree totally with this - certainly a good case of ‘less said less to forgive’
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