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Post by scrapbookwriter on Jan 19, 2021 18:17:59 GMT
Original Post 1/19:
My son works at a medical facility. In early 2020 he trained a new employee for six weeks. They got along well and became friends. New employee was then assigned to his permanent position in another department. Two months later new employee left the company.
Since that time (May 2020) former employee has been messaging my son with various profanities, harassments and threats. He is telling my son he should kill himself. He is using personal information shared between them as friends to personalize his abuse.
It's still going on. My son is just done with this. He has asked my advice. He blocks the harasser, but harasser creates new identities to continue. My son can't complain to HR as the harasser is no longer an employee. I suggested he contact the police, but he said he doesn't know what the police could possibly do. Maybe the police would visit this person and tell him to knock it off? Do the police even have time for something like this? I have no idea. I have no experience with this kind of thing.
What would you do? My son is young and lives alone. He doesn't feel safe. My mama lion heart is feeling fierce and wants to protect my child.
Update 1/21:
My son filed an online police report yesterday morning. He spoke with the police yesterday afternoon. The (female) officer was rude and dismissive. My son has not responded to any of the messages for fear of encouraging further harassment, but the office instructed/insisted he respond and directly ask the harasser to stop contacting him. If the messages continue, then perhaps the police will act.
I've offered to pay an attorney to write a cease-and-desist letter. My son wanted to wait for a response from the police before contacting an attorney. Now we're waiting to see what happens as a result of the message the officer instructed him to send.
He has reported the harassment to HR and provided screenshots of the messages. The harasser is on a do-not-rehire list. The harasser obviously knows where my son works, and that is where my son feels most at risk.
The messages are coming through Facebook Messenger and going straight to Spam. He is not accepting new friend requests.
Someone asked what started the harassment. My son doesn't know for sure, but suspects the man had an unrequited romantic interest in him. My son dates only women.
My son is very worried that the harassment will escalate. He believes there is mental illness at work here.
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cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,393
Location: Fergus, Ontario
Jun 26, 2014 11:53:40 GMT
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Post by cakediva on Jan 19, 2021 18:20:08 GMT
It’s called cyber bullying/harassment and is a crime. I would be calling the police for sure. I can’t remember the details but a girl was sentenced to time in jail for telling a boyfriend he should kill himself and he actually did.
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Post by Zee on Jan 19, 2021 18:25:42 GMT
He needs to file a police report to create a paper trail in case this behavior escalates. As far as what they will or can do, I'm not sure, but he can ask them that. What this guy is doing is against the law.
Please let him know the peas said so. 😉
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Post by elaine on Jan 19, 2021 18:26:16 GMT
He needs to file a police report. It is possible that he can get a restraining order to prevent the person from continuing to text harassing and threatening texts. If the person continues, then legal action can be taken.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 19, 2024 0:51:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2021 18:27:30 GMT
I would tell him to report it to the police on the non emergency line if he can't do so in person. Harassment whether in person or on-line is a crime. Does this person know where your son lives?
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Post by Crack-a-lackin on Jan 19, 2021 18:29:58 GMT
Absolutely contact the police. Does he have any idea what prompted this? Were things fine while they worked together? I might be tempted to tell HR in case he tried to file a work-related suit, such as coming to HR after the fact and claiming your son created a hostile work environment.
It sounds scary. Remember to advise him the same way you would a daughter.
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Post by malibou on Jan 19, 2021 18:32:59 GMT
Absolutely he needs to let the police know! I would be concerned about this individual coming to your son's home. Is there someone he can stay with?
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Post by greendragonlady on Jan 19, 2021 18:34:55 GMT
Agree...police and restraining order.
How is this person contacting your son? FB? Text? Email? On FB, I think he can allow only friends to message. Text he might be able to allow only messages from contacts in his phone. Email he could maybe make a rule that any emails from people not in his contact list go in a special folder.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,693
Location: Houston, TX
Jun 25, 2014 22:47:49 GMT
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Post by smartypants71 on Jan 19, 2021 18:35:21 GMT
Definitely call the police. I had a situation about 10 years ago where a co-worker was stalking me both IRL and electronically. There wasn't much that could be done at the time (i don't think there were many laws around cyberstalking at that time), but the policeman that came to investigate did call the person, and all contact ceased.
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Post by scrapbookwriter on Jan 19, 2021 18:35:51 GMT
It sounds scary. Remember to advise him the same way you would a daughter. Thanks for saying this. I was worried the Peas would minimize this because my son is male/adult/lives on his own. I should have had more faith in y'all. Thank you.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Jan 19, 2021 18:36:18 GMT
I agree...calling police is wholly appropriate in this case. It’s called cyber bullying/harassment and is a crime. I would be calling the police for sure. I can’t remember the details but a girl was sentenced to time in jail for telling a boyfriend he should kill himself and he actually did. That was a horrifying situation. Yes, she was sent to jail but actually was released a year ago for "good behavior". She served just 11 of a 15 month sentence. I hope it was enough, but it probably wasn't.
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Post by KiwiJo on Jan 19, 2021 18:38:25 GMT
Another reason to contact the police: Your son might not be the only person he is doing this to. So far, your son has been able to manage the harassment but, by going to the police, he might be saving another more vulnerable person’s life.
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Post by papersilly on Jan 19, 2021 18:41:46 GMT
i'm sorry your son has to go through this. ugh, i swear. high school never ends with some people.
i would definitely file a desk report with the police. i would also document the harassment to create a paper trail.
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Post by Skellinton on Jan 19, 2021 18:43:02 GMT
I imagine the peas will be in complete agreement on this one, call the police and get a restraining order.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Jan 19, 2021 18:56:05 GMT
Call the police! He should save the texts/messages.
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Post by lucyg on Jan 19, 2021 19:01:33 GMT
ugh. Of course what everyone else said. I’m just sorry he has to suffer through this.
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Gennifer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,986
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Jan 19, 2021 19:12:55 GMT
I’m so sorry your son is going through this. I agree with everyone else that police should be involved. Good luck to you guys!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 19, 2021 19:19:42 GMT
Yes, he should file a report at the very least to establish a paper trail in case this dude goes way off the deep end. The police can’t fix a problem when they don’t know it’s happening.
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Post by librarylady on Jan 19, 2021 19:46:15 GMT
He needs to file a police report. It is possible that he can get a restraining order to prevent the person from continuing to text harassing and threatening texts. If the person continues, then legal action can be taken. This is what needs to be done. Definitely get the restraining order. I think the restraining order applies to any name or alias used.
He needs to contact the police immediately.
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Post by librarylady on Jan 19, 2021 19:48:24 GMT
48 hours last week had a case where a man was stalking a young woman and police did visit the man and tell him to knock it off and leave the girl alone. She got restraining order also and police worked to enforce it.
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Post by librarylady on Jan 19, 2021 19:49:56 GMT
Your son might also ask the provider to give him a new number.
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Post by Tamhugh on Jan 19, 2021 19:58:37 GMT
Did their friendship end before the harassment began? You (general you) have to wonder what sets someone like this off.
In addition to calling the police, I would stop accepting any friend requests from strangers on whatever platform he is messaging your son on. That should prevent him from contacting your DS through fake identities. And make sure he is keeping all of the harassing messages to show to the police.
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Post by Really Red on Jan 19, 2021 20:36:02 GMT
Oh my goodness! What every Pea has said. Please contact the police. If they can't do anything, find a lawyer you know. I am sure a friend who is a lawyer will write a cease and desist letter for your son. They are pretty standard. The police, plus a lawyer may scare that idiot.
How terrifying. You are a good mom and it is great your son came to you about this. I doubt my 20yo would tell me if this happened.
Also, it may just be time to get a new number. Annoying and frustrating, but it seems safer.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jan 19, 2021 20:54:41 GMT
I would absolutely let HR know as well and his old boss or supervisor. There could be other people he is doing this too as well. Call Police, let HR know, new phone number, etc....
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Post by mollycoddle on Jan 19, 2021 21:00:37 GMT
Report it to the police. Can he block this person’s texts and calls?
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Post by christine58 on Jan 19, 2021 21:03:53 GMT
Tell him to not only call the police etc but to change his email, phone number and maybe even change his social media info. If he has Instagram--make it private--Facebook...put some security in place.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 19, 2024 0:51:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2021 21:37:16 GMT
He does also need to report it to HR because someone doesn’t still need to be working there to come forward and make outrageous accusations about what “happened” while they were employed. Have them document it, just in case something surfaces later on.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jan 19, 2021 22:11:42 GMT
Involve the police.
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Post by katiejane on Jan 19, 2021 22:40:48 GMT
Involve the police right away, stop accepting new friends requests. Keep screen shot a of abusive texts for evidence. Don't block until spoken to police. Report each new incident. Police will have advice and procedures in place.
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Post by epeanymous on Jan 19, 2021 22:50:20 GMT
The fact that the person does not work there does not mean your son should not involve his employer.
I have had a couple of people over the years fixate on me for various reasons and escalate situations/make threats. The employer should be informed because the employer should determine if precautions should be taken at work — eg, at my employer, thanks to threats against another colleague, we have a few measures in place. Security contacted my most recent harasser and instructed him not to contact me, and he stopped.
The police are a little trickier because once you contact them, sometimes things are out of your hands, and not all police are good at deescalation if that is what you are looking for. But, still, I might contact them (harassment laws vary from state to state).
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