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Post by mellowyellow on Nov 13, 2014 20:56:21 GMT
I'm so sorry you're hurting. You deserve to be treated much better than he treated you and I don't think you'll ever have the answers. I'd delete and block his number from my phone and would not ever talk to him again. He may or may not know why the distance happened but I doubt he'll ever come clean and tell you. He's not worth another chance. I know it's hard but you need to walk away with your dignity, do not chase after him begging for answers. You deserve much, much more than that! ^^^^This exactly!!!
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 13, 2014 21:19:13 GMT
I'm sorry for your pain. I don't think healing after a breakup is a straight line. I think you'll make progress, detour back, and move forward some more. Be kind to yourself.
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Post by pelirroja on Nov 14, 2014 10:16:40 GMT
((hugs)) I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt, you listened to your intuition and you made the right decision. Dating is supposed to be a time of learning and selecting, not settling. The time in which you are dating is the best you are ever going to be treated because that is the time they are trying to win you over. So, if the dating time is subpar, a marriage will be much worse. (Guess how I learned that little pearl of wisdom? BTDT)
I grew up with brothers and have learned a lot about guys. I know that when a guy wants to spend time with you, he will find a way to make it happen, no. matter. what. And sometimes, there are guys that are like ghosts: they gradually fade away and disappear, leaving you two crap options: either accept their unacceptable behavior or they manipulate/force you to break up a relationship that is broken.
I know it hurts right now but it will get better. I think you dodged a bullet although it might feel like you got steamrolled, instead. I applaud your courage. Please don't second-guess yourself: you acted with a wisdom that takes some of us decades to develop. ((hugs))
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scrapnnana
Drama Llama

Posts: 6,637
Jun 29, 2014 18:58:47 GMT
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Post by scrapnnana on Nov 14, 2014 12:13:32 GMT
I am so sorry that you are still struggling with the pain, but you did the right thing. It would have only been harder and more painful if you had hung in there longer.
Find some new shows to watch. Find some scrapping buddies. Invite a girl friend to lunch (preferably one who is between boyfriends, like you). Find a place where you can give service to take your mind off your own troubles. There is nothing that puts things into perspective for me as much as helping someone who is worse off than I am.
One person cannot keep a relationship going. My son tried it. His girlfriend changed and pulled away emotionally, just as your boyfriend did. There was no other guy at the time, she just wasn't satisfied with him. She moved on and found someone else, someone who treated her like dirt. She started hinting to my DS that she wanted him back, but by then he had realized that the breakup was a good thing, and that he deserved better. The breakup was very, very hard and very, very painful for him, but he did get past it. It took time, though.
You need time. You deserve better. It is better to be alone for awhile than waste your time on someone who makes you feel alone. You did the right thing, and even though you still hurt over it, healing will come if you let it. Avoid the temptation to focus on how your relationship was at first. It's like scratching a wound instead of letting it heal. Find other things that make you happy and let yourself move on and be happy without him. You can be happy without him. He does not hold the key to your happiness. You do.
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