|
|
Post by catck on Apr 28, 2021 17:07:48 GMT
DH and I need to make a will, where do you start? This is my second marriage and have 2 boys (now men) from my previous marriage. Youngest DS is estranged from us and have had no contact with him for almost 5 years, do we leave him a minimal amount or nothing? Any Peas in that position that could offer advice as how to handle this situation? Thank you.
|
|
|
|
Post by MichyM on Apr 28, 2021 17:10:04 GMT
I would meet with an estate attorney. IME they are used to navigating the nuances of less than ideal family relationships.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sparki on Apr 28, 2021 17:33:16 GMT
In my experience, an estate lawyer is worth every penny.
|
|
basketdiva
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,699 
|
Post by basketdiva on Apr 28, 2021 17:43:40 GMT
My father was told to specifically state a family member was not part of the trust/will. A friend was told his son ( via AI and adopted by mom’s new husband) was told to buy a $500 savings bond for the child to hopefully avoid issues after death.
As you can see, legal help in your situation is the best idea.
|
|
|
|
Post by PolarGreen12 on Apr 28, 2021 17:51:37 GMT
Second the estate attorney to draft a will.
But in the mean time you can write a simple will on paper, sign and date it and it is binding. Just so you have something down in case anything should happen between A and B.
|
|
|
|
Post by bc2ca on Apr 28, 2021 17:54:34 GMT
Just given that you are in a second marriage and have adult children from the first, I would be seeking legal advice. The estranged son adds another layer.
You don't have to answer this, but something to consider is your sons' relationships with each other. Are they estranged, too?
|
|
|
|
Post by Restless Spirit on Apr 28, 2021 18:05:53 GMT
I agree with using an estate planning attorney. We set up our Wills, Trusts, Power of Attorney and Living Wills ten years ago. It cost us about $1000. We recently received a letter from our attorney asking us if we would like to come in and review everything and make any changes. The cost for doing that will be about $200. We will be doing that soon. The peace of mind that this has given us has been worth every penny.
|
|
|
|
Post by flanz on Apr 28, 2021 18:11:40 GMT
I agree with using an estate planning attorney. We set up our Wills, Trusts, Power of Attorney and Living Wills ten years ago. It cost us about $1000. We recently received a letter from our attorney asking us if we would like to come in and review everything and make any changes. The cost for doing that will be about $200. We will be doing that soon. The peace of mind that this has given us has been worth every penny. Wow! we did ours at about the same time and it cost us four times as much. I'm guessing you don't live in California??? Everything seems more expensive here... I agree, money well spent. |
|
|
|
Post by Darcy Collins on Apr 28, 2021 18:27:23 GMT
Second the estate attorney to draft a will. But in the mean time you can write a simple will on paper, sign and date it and it is binding. Just so you have something down in case anything should happen between A and B. Only about half of states will accept a handwritten will into probate that hasn't been appropriately witnessed. |
|
caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,025
Location: So Cal
|
Post by caangel on Apr 28, 2021 18:31:41 GMT
I agree with using an estate planning attorney. We set up our Wills, Trusts, Power of Attorney and Living Wills ten years ago. It cost us about $1000. We recently received a letter from our attorney asking us if we would like to come in and review everything and make any changes. The cost for doing that will be about $200. We will be doing that soon. The peace of mind that this has given us has been worth every penny. Wow! we did ours at about the same time and it cost us four times as much. I'm guessing you don't live in California??? Everything seems more expensive here... I agree, money well spent. Also in CA and paid a similar amount as you. |
|
|
|
Post by malibou on Apr 28, 2021 18:39:48 GMT
I have family members in a similar situation, they were advised to leave a small token to estranged kid because it shows the intent that they are not really heirs and makes it easier on the remaining siblings if estranged decides to contest the will. They were also advised to let the other siblings know of that aspect of the will.
|
|
bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,860
|
Post by bethany102399 on Apr 28, 2021 19:24:40 GMT
I agree get with an estate lawyer.
My moms estate was set up into a revokable trust (set up when both mom and dad were alive, but dad knew his health would not hold out). With dad as first trustee, and myself (only child) as successor trustee. When mom died after a tumultuous 5 months of illness (there was no way I could have set anything up when she got sick, she was not in the correct frame of mind and once we were on the train it did not stop until her death). I was so grateful dad had the forethought to set things up to make moms life easier when he passed and eventually my life easier when she passed. They hired an estate lawyer and paid a pretty penny to do it, but worth every penny to me when I had to clean up the mess.
|
|
|
|
Post by ntsf on Apr 28, 2021 20:51:33 GMT
another reason to spend money on attorney now... it will save big bucks in the future. and they will know the laws of your state.. like, should you form a trust? are you leaving money directly to minors (another big area of problems).. complicated family..
better to get it right, update occasionally.. and not just ignore death.
|
|
|
|
Post by vsimone on Apr 28, 2021 20:59:19 GMT
I wouldn't cut any children out of the will regardless of my relationship with them now. Equal shares to all on both sides. I don't place any conditions or expectations on them in order to earn a place in our wills.
|
|
|
|
Post by revirdsuba99 on Apr 28, 2021 22:02:05 GMT
I was going to suggest to at least get it Notarized.
|
|
|
|
Post by juanita on Apr 29, 2021 0:32:16 GMT
I wouldn't cut any children out of the will regardless of my relationship with them now. Equal shares to all on both sides. I don't place any conditions or expectations on them in order to earn a place in our wills. I completely agree with you. As a child who was estranged off and on from her mother, when she was dying I was the one with her. I never expected anything from her will but when it was delivered to me and I read it and there was a clause it in that disowned and that I wasn't entitled to nothing was the most hurtful thing ever said or done to me. I was cleaning out a box as we are selling our house and I found it just last week and of course I opened it and read it again and a good ole cry. |
|
|
|
Post by lisae on Apr 29, 2021 0:53:55 GMT
Work with an attorney but keep in mind that many things bypass the will. If you have bank accounts and investments, you will have a primary and often a secondary beneficiary. These designations govern how the money moves, not what your will says.
Before you meet with an attorney, talk to your DH about who you want as an executor in case something happens to both of you at once. You will probably want to be each others executor but you have to provide for a worst case scenario. You may also want to do power of attorney documents.
|
|
|
|
Post by revirdsuba99 on Apr 29, 2021 3:22:45 GMT
Before you meet with an attorney, talk to your DH about who you want as an executor in case something happens to both of you at once. You will probably want to be each others executor but you have to provide for a worst case scenario. You may also want to do power of attorney documents. Also medical power of attorney. Before you even go to talk to someone, make a list of things and/or questions. Valuable jewelry and other items, sentimental stuff etc. |
|
_on_the_beach.jpg)
