QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
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Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Jun 3, 2021 21:01:39 GMT
I agree with this. Does your oldest even care if they are there or not? I'd also be concerned about them being too young to be vaccinated. Have you taken them to other large indoor events? If you have been avoiding large indoor events because of their vaccination status, be prepared for a lot of "but you made us go to the graduation so why can't we go". We haven't been to any other large indoor events. They wear masks to school, but the school says that the state mandate only applies to the school hours so masks don't have to be worn at activities outside of school hours. I would have the kids wear masks, but that will add to the temperature worries. And I am not sure how much that would help if there are 1000+ other people there and not knowing how many are unvaccinated and unmasked. It sounds like having them go to the graduation doesn't fit in with how you have been handling your pandemic precautions. As much as people want it to be over, it isn't, and your kids aren't able to be vaccinated yet. Here is a website where you can check the vaccination rate for your county. mn.gov/covid19/vaccine/data/index.jsp I know that the rate for my county isn't what I would like to see, so DH and I are continuing to mask and avoid certain situations, even though we are both fully vaccinated. It sounds to me like you don't want to bring the younger kids, and if you are looking for people to support that, I fully do. You're the parent, so you get to make the decision not grandma.
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Post by grammadee on Jun 3, 2021 21:12:30 GMT
I think its important for younger kids to support their sibling. Id make them go. If they didn’t go it would be so grandma could go. But otherwise, baseball can wait for another day. This is my position as well. Part of visualizing your future is seeing older siblings go through these rites of passage. I think I understand your mom's position, iamkristinl16. I would be dying to go, but I think it is important enough for the younger ones to go that I would not want to take one of their tickets.
And kate, ITA: the family photos of everyone dressed up by the school. The two hours in the gym is well worth that. Now I want to go back and pull the family photos from photo albums of each of my kids' grads and scrap them.
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Post by myshelly on Jun 3, 2021 21:14:31 GMT
I think its important for younger kids to support their sibling. Id make them go. If they didn’t go it would be so grandma could go. But otherwise, baseball can wait for another day. This is my position as well. Part of visualizing your future is seeing older siblings go through these rites of passage. I think I understand your mom's position, iamkristinl16. I would be dying to go, but I think it is important enough for the younger ones to go that I would not want to take one of their tickets.
And kate, ITA: the family photos of everyone dressed up by the school. The two hours in the gym is well worth that. Now I want to go back and pull the family photos from photo albums of each of my kids' grads and scrap them.
How does that logic work for the oldest child of a family, though? They’re clearly ok without seeing an older sibling do it first.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 3, 2021 21:18:04 GMT
Graduation ceremonies are really boring for the young. They are long with name after name after name being called. For most the speeches are unintelligible for children that age. My daughters, in their 30's, attended my graduation when I got one of graduate degrees and made me promise to never expect them to do anything like that again.
I know some graduations have stopped the walking across the stage and calling out the names. But even then there are so many people there that the parking, getting in, finding seats, the crowd getting out and getting out of the congested parking lot are such a pain!
As parents and adults we go to these ceremonies because we understand the significance of them. We might even enjoy them, but it would be too much to expect the younger siblings to understand and appreciate. Only if they begged to go would I let them.
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J u l e e
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Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Jun 3, 2021 21:28:06 GMT
How does attending graduation support the graduate? I get attending their games and concerts, etc., but watching their graduation doesn’t equal supporting them, to me. Unless that feels like support to your oldest. Does he care if they’re there?
I don’t remember if my siblings were at my graduation, and I can’t remember if I was at theirs.
However your family views graduation ceremonies and support, I wouldn’t have my unvaccinated children in a gym with a large audience not wearing masks.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jun 3, 2021 21:38:30 GMT
Eh, I wouldn't make them go.. I think as long as the parents are there, that is the most important. Graduations can be LONG and boring for younger kids. They will remember that more than anything else.
That said, my DD graduated college and it was the BEST graduation ever. Five of us went, her husband, her little sister, me (DH got home from it but ended up getting a tooth pulled and missed it) and grandparents. We stood in a long but quick moving line. When we got to the front, she went inside a tent to do her picture and whatever else. We stood right in front of the stage, they called her name, she shook hands with all the school leaders, we took tons of pictures and that was the end. It was super perfect in every way.
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Post by marysue63 on Jun 3, 2021 21:39:02 GMT
I vote to let them skip it. Then have a special meal for the graduate and have the littles play a part in that.
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Anita
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Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Jun 3, 2021 21:46:23 GMT
Don't make the kids go. It's long, it's boring, and the graduate can celebrate with siblings afterward. Seriously, no one likes these ceremonies. Take grandma.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Jun 3, 2021 21:56:18 GMT
High school graduations tend to be long, drawn out and boring. We didn't even invite DH's dad and stepmom when DS graduated from high school. I say let the kids stay home and give a ticket to grandma and donate the other one.
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Post by snugglebutter on Jun 3, 2021 22:07:21 GMT
I would pass, especially without masks required. You can record the big moments and show them later. There are other ways the kids can celebrate their big brother. If you are having a party at your house, you can have them do the decorations etc...
Odds are that not every sibling will be able to attend the youngest child's graduation.
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peabay
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Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jun 3, 2021 22:14:39 GMT
I am just not big on ceremony. I don't really care about them and if I didn't have to go to my kids graduations, I wouldn't. They are boring and you sit there for hours to hear one name. I'd let them opt out but they'd have to be a part of whatever other celebratory event occurs - a dinner out, a party etc...
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Post by littlemama on Jun 3, 2021 22:28:19 GMT
The graduation 2 years before mine was moved into the gym due to rain. They did not check tickets, just crammed everyone in. Someone's grandmother died at graduation. That was the last year graduations were held at any of that district's high schools. (Location wise. We still had ceremonies, just not at the school)
Also, it was my brothers graduation and I did not attend.
Anyway, I wouldnt let my mom go under those circumstances, but I also wouldnt take the younger kids if I could avoid it. Grad ceremonies are boring for adults. I camt imagine what 2 preteens would get out of it.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Jun 3, 2021 22:50:28 GMT
Moot point here since even thought our graduation is outside, we are only allowed 2 tickets per family. If it was indoors in that heat, I would not make my younger kids sit through it.
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peaname
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Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Jun 3, 2021 23:00:59 GMT
I’d ask them how important it is that the older sibling attend their milestone events because of this were my family and the younger two were excused my oldest would not attend their graduations.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 3, 2021 23:25:10 GMT
Normally, I would say that a family supports each other and you suck it up and go to the ceremony. If they are fit enough to be outside playing sports in the heat, they are fit enough to sit for a ceremony.
However, this year I would vote for them to stay home. They are too young to be vaccinated and indoors without others wearing masks is a no-go for me and mine.
We were in your area 2 weeks ago for DD’s college graduation. I’d say mask wearing was about 50/50. It was 2 days after the CDC published the new recommendations for mask wearing (or not wearing). The comments i was hearing makes me firmly believe that the non-vaccinated aren’t wearing masks either. I was ASTONISHED when the father of one of her friends told me that it was all a hoax and to take off my mask. The man is a surgeon! And evidently he and his wife have chosen to to get vaccinated. (And no, he wasn’t wearing a mask when I was talking to him. Me, who had just come from Europe days early and traveled 18 hours in public spaces. Idiot.
One idea—if grandma doesn’t want to go to the ceremony either, Maybe she and the younger boys can be waiting for you, DH, and oldest DS outside with a sign or balloons. That could be a fun way to honor your oldest and get some good family photos.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jun 3, 2021 23:47:01 GMT
High School and College Graduation cermonies are long, mundane and boring. I wouldn't make the younger siblings go. That's a long time for an adult to sit for something boring, let alone younger children.
There is likely going to be streaming or a video posted online. Perhaps they can watch a portion of it.
If they watch it later.... You could show a bit of the processional with Pomp and Circumstance being played. Then fast forward to their Brother walking up and receiving his Diploma. The fast forward to the end and view the tassle turning.
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sassyangel
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Jun 26, 2014 23:58:32 GMT
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Post by sassyangel on Jun 3, 2021 23:51:02 GMT
I wouldn’t make them go. For a few reasons.
But that’s me. I imagine with the age difference the oldest won’t likely be attending theirs. I’m sure they be attending the family gathering after, they can show their support there.
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Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Jun 3, 2021 23:57:47 GMT
I'm in the camp of setting up with another parent to take children to baseball, let grandma attend graduation with you and donate extra ticket to a family that has 2 grandparents that want to attend and won't have to make the decision. I like this solution, and I think you, Dad and Grandma will all enjoy the graduation without being asked 1,000 times "How much longer is it?"
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jun 4, 2021 0:44:49 GMT
She’s not in MPLs. I would say 90% of rural MN schools are not air conditioned. Waste of money.
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Post by Linda on Jun 4, 2021 0:56:06 GMT
I would let them stay home. We left the littles home (they were 4th grade and preschool) when my oldest graduated. And I gave my youngest (5th grade) the choice when my middle graduated (she went - but it was also outside and only about 400 grads - they keep it short and sweet here) - older brother was overseas and couldn't attend. I suspect that when my youngest graduates (2025), her siblings won't be there
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seaexplore
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Jun 4, 2021 2:25:41 GMT
No masks, indoors, and unable to be vaccinated? I wouldn't make them go. Yep. Let them stay home. can they watch a livestream?
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my3freaks
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Jun 26, 2014 4:10:56 GMT
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Post by my3freaks on Jun 4, 2021 2:40:27 GMT
In normal circumstances I'd be on the side of making at least one of them go. Without the extra ticket, I'd let a grandparent go, knowing they'd appreciate it more, and so would the graduate most likely. Under those circumstances, I'm not sure how I'd handle it. I don't love the idea of that many people crammed into a gym together. There wasn't any way for them to do it outside? I'd probably leave them home unless it was important to their brother that they be there.
My kids are 3 years apart and went to each others graduations. I don't think either one of them was thrilled about it, but they didn't voice any objections. Hell, I wasn't thrilled sitting through them, but at least theirs were outside at Red Rocks. Made all those speeches a little easier to take. My brother was married by the time I graduated, but he and his wife were there. I was in 7th grade (I think) when he graduated, so I'm sure I went to theirs. (They graduated together).
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jun 4, 2021 2:53:37 GMT
She’s not in MPLs. I would say 90% of rural MN schools are not air conditioned. Waste of money. Our high school is less than two years old. I hope it is well air conditioned! They decided to have it in the gym instead of the football stadium due to the weather. I guess they want to test it out. Lol.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jun 4, 2021 2:56:37 GMT
Normally, I would say that a family supports each other and you suck it up and go to the ceremony. If they are fit enough to be outside playing sports in the heat, they are fit enough to sit for a ceremony. However, this year I would vote for them to stay home. They are too young to be vaccinated and indoors without others wearing masks is a no-go for me and mine. We were in your area 2 weeks ago for DD’s college graduation. I’d say mask wearing was about 50/50. It was 2 days after the CDC published the new recommendations for mask wearing (or not wearing). The comments i was hearing makes me firmly believe that the non-vaccinated aren’t wearing masks either. I was ASTONISHED when the father of one of her friends told me that it was all a hoax and to take off my mask. The man is a surgeon! And evidently he and his wife have chosen to to get vaccinated. (And no, he wasn’t wearing a mask when I was talking to him. Me, who had just come from Europe days early and traveled 18 hours in public spaces. Idiot. One idea—if grandma doesn’t want to go to the ceremony either, Maybe she and the younger boys can be waiting for you, DH, and oldest DS outside with a sign or balloons. That could be a fun way to honor your oldest and get some good family photos. Now I would say it is pretty close to 95% not wearing masks.
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ellen
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Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Jun 4, 2021 3:17:55 GMT
She’s not in MPLs. I would say 90% of rural MN schools are not air conditioned. Waste of money. Our high school is less than two years old. I hope it is well air conditioned! They decided to have it in the gym instead of the football stadium due to the weather. I guess they want to test it out. Lol. Pretty sure I was in this gym in April for the first round of the state boys basketball tournament. What a beautiful school. I would like to think it would be air conditioned. Tomorrow night I will be sitting through my daughter's graduation in beautiful, but old auditorium. They recently remodeled it and one of the improvements was air conditioning. Thank God. I know a lot of people in my area who are not vaccinated have decided that they don't need to wear masks anymore. If I had younger kids, I would not make them go to a large indoor gathering of people.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 4, 2021 3:22:15 GMT
They will be doing baseball no matter what. I was just pointing that out because they (And DH and I) will be out in the heat all day prior to a 7:30pm graduation in a hot gym. We did apply to have an extra ticket and didn't get it (lottery system). So, unless the people who did get extras in the lottery don't claim all of the tickets, the only way for grandma to go is to use one of the other boys' tickets.Then let them stay home and grandma can use the ticket. It's a no brainer. Those two will be bored and probably EXHAUSTED from playing baseball in that kind of heat. Get a sitter and let them stay home. This is the bench where I would be sitting too. I wouldn’t want my unvaccinated kid in that cesspool of humanity for what will probably be several hours. They will be bored out of their skulls plus they will be tired, hot and cranky. I don’t like trying to force kids to behave themselves under those circumstances, it’s setting them up to fail. Let grandma use one of the tickets instead, it will mean more to her to go. They will be able to celebrate with their brother at the grad party. It will be a lot more fun for them and a lot more tolerable for you and your DH.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 4, 2021 3:30:06 GMT
Coming from the perspective of the youngest of four siblings, don't force them to go if they don't want to. My brothers are 14 and 11 years older than I am, my sister was 4 years my senior. I was drug to every graduation, ceremony, recital etc growing up. I expected to dress up, be on my best behavior etc. By the time it was my time to be the focus, they had gone on with their lives and they were never expected to go to or congratulate me on any of my achievements. Of course, by then I was expected to start attending all of the nieces and nephews events.So, I say let them skip the ceremony and participate in any family celebration. Welcome to my world. This was my experience growing up too. It sucked. I think my one younger brother went to my graduation and I went to his. The older ones couldn’t be bothered to even come to my grad party.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jun 4, 2021 4:04:02 GMT
Well if it’s got AC hell yes they’d be going! There is just no way in hell most rural old schools, esp up north are ever going to have ac and I’d still make them go. I never thought high school graduations for my girls were long and boring. Mainly because with a class size of 50 all the families knew each other, so it was fun to celebrate them all!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 4, 2021 4:34:35 GMT
Well if it’s got AC hell yes they’d be going! There is just no way in hell most rural old schools, esp up north are ever going to have ac and I’d still make them go. I never thought high school graduations for my girls were long and boring. Mainly because with a class size of 50 all the families knew each other, so it was fun to celebrate them all! That would make a big difference. My graduating class had over 600 kids. I doubt I knew a fifth of them. The ceremony took over three hours, same for my brothers. There is no way I would make a young kid sit through that if I had any other option. The high school my kid will eventually attend has over 2500 students so she will also have a huge graduating class.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jun 4, 2021 4:54:45 GMT
Well if it’s got AC hell yes they’d be going! There is just no way in hell most rural old schools, esp up north are ever going to have ac and I’d still make them go. I never thought high school graduations for my girls were long and boring. Mainly because with a class size of 50 all the families knew each other, so it was fun to celebrate them all! That would make a big difference. My graduating class had over 600 kids. I doubt I knew a fifth of them. The ceremony took over three hours, same for my brothers. There is no way I would make a young kid sit through that if I had any other option. The high school my kid will eventually attend has over 2500 students so she will also have a huge graduating class. My (much) younger siblings live in a small town and only had 60-80 kids in their classes. As an adult I thought the ceremonies were reallllly long and boring. DS has about 320 kids in his class. I have no idea how long it will be. I’m glad there is AC but even with that, it might be hot in the room with that many people and temps in the upper 90’s. As of right now, my mom and stepdad decided to use the younger two kids’ tickets.
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