naby64
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Post by naby64 on Jun 7, 2021 18:40:48 GMT
I have just looked here and there at the responses. Here is my story. I have a now 26 yr old, that at one point was a very picky eater. It started around 2.5-3 yrs old. Only white foods. String cheese, bread, buttered pasta, you get my drift. My mother and grandmother were very concerned. At one ped visit, I asked the "what ifs" of not eating. I was told "she will eat when she gets hungry", don't force, don't make them sit at the table, don't do the Joan Crawford and save it for the next meal. She now eats salmon, brussels sprouts, broccoli, salads, you know, normal foods.
Texturey foods, still an issue. She had/has other food issues during late teen/college years to now, but she is aware of those, and my MIL and I got into one humdinger of a "discussion" when my DD didn't want green beans at one vacation family outing. MIL was forcing them.
Just don't make an issue of food. They will truly eat when they need to. But if pushed too hard, it can turn around on you.
Glad to see you post again!!
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 7, 2021 18:50:07 GMT
So much great advice already and adding a couple things that worked for us. I always put out a plate of raw vegetables and/or fruit around 3ish and it was always gone before dinner. I didn't care who ate what and didn't care if it wasn't touched until after 5 when I was making dinner. IMHO, no one ruins their appetite eating produce. My kids are 22/24 now and I still do this half the time and they really still prefer raw vegetables over cooked.  Whenever we were going on a trip, I made up a car treat bag for each of them. Little bags of goldfish, baby carrots, sliced apples, raisins, Cheerios, mini-Oreos, etc., in a gallon ziplock bag. It was completely up to them what they ate and when. The funniest part for DH and I was to listen to them discuss and decide what to eat when. For some reason they always went through their bags in the same order.  Another thing that I think needs to be said is we only feed our kids food we like. Just like our parents only fed us food they liked. I vividly remember having real Italian spaghetti at a neighbor's house and discovering the taste and smell of garlic and olive oil. Two items that never made it into my parents' kitchen. I still remember the terror I felt when DS decided to order a mushroom pasta dish at a restaurant. We used to encourage the kids to order something different with the agreement that if they didn't like it, DH or I would trade dishes with them. DS had never had mushrooms and the thought of eating his dish made me break out in a cold sweat. Thankfully, DS loved it. |
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Post by sassyangel on Jun 7, 2021 19:01:30 GMT
I was that picky child. Not to that hiding food extent, but my poor mum, I feel so bad now. 😅 I eat much better now and like trying new things - (if knowing that helps, in a this too will most likely pass, kind of way). There are some texture things I will *never* like. I detest mushrooms, because of their texture, and I really don’t like peas and lentil type beans either because I don’t like the texture of the insides, although I don’t mind edamame, and I HATE cottage cheese, but the rest I just eventually was interested enough to try when I got older. It’s perfectly ok to not ever like some foods. Don’t make it a battle though, I remember enough to remember being forced to eat stuff that truly repulsed me, only made it worse.
I think you’re both right on the punishment, for different reasons. I agree with you she’s old enough, but also agree with your wife that delayed punishment is probably not really effective. I do think at three she is old enough to understand consequences, but they need to be immediate and in her currency, so you’re both going to have to sit down and get on the same page about that. You might have to think a bit outside the box on that one, lol.
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Post by sassyangel on Jun 7, 2021 19:06:08 GMT
So much great advice already and adding a couple things that worked for us. I always put out a plate of raw vegetables and/or fruit around 3ish and it was always gone before dinner. I didn't care who ate what and didn't care if it wasn't touched until after 5 when I was making dinner. IMHO, no one ruins their appetite eating produce. My kids are 22/24 now and I still do this half the time and they really still prefer raw vegetables over cooked. Whenever we were going on a trip, I made up a car treat bag for each of them. Little bags of goldfish, baby carrots, sliced apples, raisins, Cheerios, mini-Oreos, etc., in a gallon ziplock bag. It was completely up to them what they ate and when. The funniest part for DH and I was to listen to them discuss and decide what to eat when. For some reason they always went through their bags in the same order. Another thing that I think needs to be said is we only feed our kids food we like. Just like our parents only fed us food they liked. I vividly remember having real Italian spaghetti at a neighbor's house and discovering the taste and smell of garlic and olive oil. Two items that never made it into my parents' kitchen. I still remember the terror I felt when DS decided to order a mushroom pasta dish at a restaurant. We used to encourage the kids to order something different with the agreement that if they didn't like it, DH or I would trade dishes with them. DS had never had mushrooms and the thought of eating his dish made me break out in a cold sweat. Thankfully, DS loved it. Lol! I hate mushrooms so much, that would truly be a cold sweat moment for me too! 😂 |
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 7, 2021 19:16:54 GMT
I know there has been a lot of good advice on here already, but I just want to ask you as a person who had food issues when young (I went a lot of years eating PB or boloney sandwiches, and I turned out to like lots of things, in the end-- I was youngest, so my mom had had experience with it before)... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do NOT make your daughter do the "You will SIT HERE UNTIL YOU EAT IT" thing. It just turns into a battle of wills and stubbornness, and neither one of you will be happy at the end.
And your daughter will resent it, and NOT want to eat that thing (whatever it is) even MORE, since she was forced to sit there, sulk, and eat it cold, soggy, whatever, if she actually does eat it. (which would lead to even more bad feelings about that food, and the whole meal eating experience.)
I remember getting physically ILL at the smell of liver cooking... it smelled so gross, I had to eat my meal (hot dogs, or whatever mom gave me-- I wasn't going to TOUCH that liver) in the other room. It wasn't just that I didn't 'like' it, the thought and smell of it truly made me physically ill.
ETA: I totally agree that the texture and cooking methods / cooked vs. raw thing might be an issue. My mom COOKED ALL VEGETABLES TO DEATH when I was growing up, and didn't use ANY seasoning. No texture, no taste, just grayish-green mush in your mouth, basically. I would NOT eat cooked peas; that one was the worst. But she would give me a bowl of raw peas (we had a garden), which I had no problem with- I loved raw peas. I'll mostly eat cooked peas now, but still, not if they're MUSH, lol.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:03:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2021 19:35:40 GMT
I didn't read all the replies. DS was picky at that age. What I did was give him stuff for breakfast and lunch that I knew he liked, since it was only hi and I at home at those times. They were still healthy meals, but stuff I knew he'd go for. For dinner, I made whatever I had planned for that day. If he didn't eat at dinnertime, I'd wrap his plate. Of course, a little bit after dinner, he'd whine that he was hungry and wanted a snack. I'd pull out the plate and tell him that this would be his "snack" since he didn't eat it for dinner. Sometimes he ate it, sometimes he skipped until the next day's breakfast. I decided it wasn't worth arguing at dinner every night and that he'd eat when he was hungry. He's a healthy (but still picky) 21 year old.
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Post by Linda on Jun 7, 2021 20:33:56 GMT
Another thing that I think needs to be said is we only feed our kids food we like. Just like our parents only fed us food they liked. I vividly remember having real Italian spaghetti at a neighbor's house and discovering the taste and smell of garlic and olive oil. Two items that never made it into my parents' kitchen That is something I've worked hard not to do but I felt it was important to model to my children that sometimes you eat things that aren't your favourites. I don't like green beans and they are my DH's favourite vegetable. I make green beans once or twice a month and periodically the kids have asked why since I don't like them - because Dad likes them and it isn't fair for me to only cook what I like especially since Dad eats what I cook without complaint - even peas and brussel sprouts which he doesn't care for. DD14 loves chili - I don't...I ate enough beans when we were poor to last me a lifetime, I HATE cooked tomatoes, and I have un-fond memories of sitting at the table while my bowl of chilli got cold and my glass of milk got warm as a child. I make chilli fairly regularly - I eat a very small helping smothered in sourcream and cheese. |
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Aug 18, 2025 20:03:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 7, 2021 20:35:04 GMT
Joe: Probably similar to how I'm trying to keep DH hydrated and fed (kidney issues & dehydration right now). As with my 2 (now very adult) children, I've always tried to make it look presentable, and kept every healthy food group in there. My DD was the picky one who was surviving on lactose-free milk and american cheese sandwiches. To TRY to keep her from having food issues down the line, I'd add to her plate without saying anything. Add a fruit or veggies and dip. Keep trying. Try not to focus on it or say too much. For our family sit-down dinners each night, no matter how they felt about the meal, I'd plate out what I made. No substitutions. They'd eventually at least taste it! (Sidenote, DD is now 33 yo and she is STILL as picky as a 3 yo!!!!!!! No joke! DS31 eats anything and everything. He's a great cook & he's worked in the Hamptons and out east on LI with great chefs.) I've seen it all with the toddlers that I've nannied too! If their weight and stats are truly a problem, I'd ask their doctor what they thought about adding in something like children's Ensure if they haven't eaten a meal. NOT to replace meals with shakes, but when you're concerned, it's okay to grab! Again, sorry to say that some picky kids don't grow out of it. You can keep trying and try not to go nuts. Good luck to you & Evi. xo
ETA: crimsoncat05 That was my childhood also!!!!!!! I had lots of food issues and it made me hate food even more!! My weight went from being 82 lbs as an adult to almost 180 when my kids were toddlers & then back down to a reasonable weight. I've learned & loved to cook creatively, and I love most veggies now. My DD33 still claims that she doesn't like a lot of foods due to "the texture thing". Ugh! All we could do it to keep trying and not make an issue out of it. She's never heard me say "diet", and I've gone about her eating entirely differently than from mine (or yours). |
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Post by worldwanderer75 on Jun 7, 2021 20:40:48 GMT
Lots of good advice here. I had an extremely picky eater (my third out of 4 of my kids). I would add to all the good advice. Do not negotiate with her. Ever. At three she can understand consequences. When my daughter was about that age we started saying to her, "No eat, no treat." I didn't care if she didn't eat but she surely wasn't going to get a popsicle/ice cream/whatever treat her siblings were eating if she didn't eat something healthy beforehand. It worked pretty quickly once she realized she was missing out. It might not be popular but we didn't give a meal alternative either. She ate what the rest of the family was eating. Now, at 13, she's easily my most adventurous eater (although none of my kids are picky at all). We always laugh when we remember we discovered that she has a "mature palate". She loved weird cheeses and escargot when she was like 5. We just had to get her over the hump around age 3.
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kelly8875
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Post by kelly8875 on Jun 7, 2021 20:44:09 GMT
Things that helped when my kids were young.
#1. we all ate at the same time. Meals were for family time. This is where kids learn that a meal is a meal. They learn that parents eat meals too. Do your kids only see you snack? If so, they only want to snack.
#2. Kids do not need to eat that much food. If 2 eggs is a breakfast for an adult, 1 egg is fine for a child. Or whatever the food is...point is, kids don't need to eat that much. A fast food kids meal is the proper food portions for an adult.
#3. The more frustrated you are, the less likely they'll do what you want...
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Post by workingclassdog on Jun 7, 2021 21:12:12 GMT
Joe you should ask Shannon what her youngest eats.. He's a sophomore in high school. Her answer will be 'chicken nuggets' to THIS day, it is about the ONLY thing that kid eats. NOTHING else.  Oh and HI there.. I'm telling on you too!!! Don't be talking smack about Evi! |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jun 7, 2021 21:26:10 GMT
Lots of good advice here already. My kid isn’t truly picky like I was as a kid, but she has gone through several long streaks where all she will want to eat is mostly one thing. For a while it was mac n cheese which she would eat every single day for lunch for weeks running. Then it was cold salami, just the meat or meat with some crackers. Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. Chicken nuggets and fries. Or cheddar cheese. As long as there was something halfway decent that she would eat, I’d be fine with that even if it was the same thing day after day after day. I would offer something the kid will definitely eat along with one or two new things that they have to at least TRY. That was/is our rule, she has to try at least one bite of a new food and if she wants more of the other things she likes after that, fine.
And you know the really funny thing is that even most adults are the same way. I remember reading some research once where one group of people was given a choice of several things to have for lunch but they had to decide in advance and it was for a set time, I think at least a week or two out. The second group could choose from the same menu the others had but they could decide what they wanted each day.
The advance decision group routinely picked a wider variety of options when they put in their future meal requests. The people who chose daily overwhelmingly picked the exact same thing to eat every day of the trial! I wish I could link it up because it was really pretty interesting. I work from home and have for years. Even though I have a multitude of options of what to have for lunch daily, almost every day I eat the exact same things.
I also agree with not serving milk or juice with meals, or even give the kid a glass of water at first. My mom never gave us milk with meals because the pickier kids in our family (like me, LOL) would just drink the milk and wouldn’t be hungry enough after that to eat the actual food. Even now we mostly just drink water with our meals.
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Jun 7, 2021 21:29:12 GMT
I did not read all the responses, but this is what I have shared with the many families I have worked with, a couple ideas. You have what you have for meals. It is her choice to eat that or not. Limit between meal snacks, so maybe one scheduled snack mid afternoon. Again, she eats what is offered or she doesn't eat. She is not going to starve herself. You need to really limit the amount of sweets and snacky foods with this.
Another option is to give her some control over her meals. This may be a better option for her. Say for breakfast her choice is an egg sandwich or pancakes. Make sure the choices are something you are ok with no matter what she chooses. Do NOT give her the option of an egg sandwich or the chocolate chip cookie when you want her to have the eggs. Giving her some control often helps. She can even pick a full meal one night with options you are ok with.
One more thing, have her be part of preparing her food. If she chooses a meal of mac-n-cheese, have her help make it. If she is insisting on only one kind of food, which is very common in children, you can say we can have that as an option tomorrow night, or let her have now.
The biggest thing I want to say is do not make it an issue. You do not want food to be a reward or punishment or connect it . She will not starve herself and will most likely grow out of this stage. Accept what she will eat and let the rest go.
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Post by voltagain on Jun 7, 2021 21:35:07 GMT
You've been given great advice above from the don't force it/make it a battle peas. I am going to add a link for DAILY portions for 2-3 year olds. This means what they eat as a total from all meals and snacks kidshealth.org/en/parents/toddler-food.html Also it does not have to be a daily thing, just keep an eye out for the weekly average. My force food story is related to beef liver. Mom was intent on making me learn to at least tolerate it. I threw up all over the dinner table  57 years later I still will gag over liver. |
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 7, 2021 22:08:03 GMT
Another thing that I think needs to be said is we only feed our kids food we like. Just like our parents only fed us food they liked. I vividly remember having real Italian spaghetti at a neighbor's house and discovering the taste and smell of garlic and olive oil. Two items that never made it into my parents' kitchen That is something I've worked hard not to do but I felt it was important to model to my children that sometimes you eat things that aren't your favourites. I don't like green beans and they are my DH's favourite vegetable. I make green beans once or twice a month and periodically the kids have asked why since I don't like them - because Dad likes them and it isn't fair for me to only cook what I like especially since Dad eats what I cook without complaint - even peas and brussel sprouts which he doesn't care for. DD14 loves chili - I don't...I ate enough beans when we were poor to last me a lifetime, I HATE cooked tomatoes, and I have un-fond memories of sitting at the table while my bowl of chilli got cold and my glass of milk got warm as a child. I make chilli fairly regularly - I eat a very small helping smothered in sourcream and cheese. IMHO, cooking everyone's favorites is a different than introducing kids to foods we don't like. Since discovering DS loved mushrooms, I often saute them for him & DH to have with burgers. DD and I don't touch them.  I prefer to cook a variety of vegetables for a meal, so green beans and Brussels sprouts are regularly on the table together. Everyone helps themselves to what they want. If I roast vegetables, I have 4-6 options in the pan and know everyone loves at least 1 or 2. My calorie needs are pretty low and I'm not wasting them on food I don't like.  |
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Post by hop2 on Jun 7, 2021 22:09:39 GMT
That’s a tough one because arguing about food is a mine field and can perhaps lead to eating issues later. But clearly if there’s ‘failure to thrive’ you have to do something.
I’m sorry your dealing with this I’m hesitant to give advice as mom of a former ‘picky’ eater and your child seems to be dealing with an actual health issue. But on the chance it can help I’ll babble a bit about some of my family’s health issue journey.
Did any of the doctors check her for celiacs disease? It can, in some cases cause a failure to thrive. It can cause various, not always obvious, gastrointestinal issues that might make eating just unpleasant. It might be difficult for a three year old to describe what those issues are. I say this as a person who has family members with celiacs who did not have the classic vomiting or diarrhea to tip off the problems but more subtle issues like discomfort, pain, cramping and bloating. It really threw me for a loop because I grew up with a mother with celiacs and I thought I knew what the symptoms were but apparently not everyone has those obvious symptoms. I had no idea. Also, I have one of those relatives who’s blood tests did not show celiacs disease and they were not diagnosed until the doctors finally after so many visits and testing and just no other answers did an endoscopy to find out what was causing the problems and they found the intestinal damage from the celiacs disease. ( not that I’m suggesting anyone to do an endoscopy on a 3 years old! eek! I’m not a doctor nor do I presume to play one on the Internet. That’s for medical professionals! I’m just posting so you can have knowledge and find the right questions to ask the medical professionals and maybe questions to see if your DD is having not so obvious issues she can’t describe )
Even if it’s not celiacs there has to be a reason she doesn’t want to eat and that is pretty scary to deal with at 3 years old. I don’t envy you all trying to figure this out. I will keep y’all in my thoughts and prayers that you find the solution and she can move forward and be the fantastic kid she is. I’m so sorry your dealing with this it sound much more complicated than a picky eater.
I hope you can find out what is causing the issues. I’m sorry I can’t be any real help. I feel so bad reading your post.
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pancakes
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Post by pancakes on Jun 7, 2021 22:11:49 GMT
I apologize that I haven’t read all the suggestions but I highly recommend looking at the resources Solid Starts has to offer. As an example: solidstarts.com/picky-eater-tip-the-power-of-choice/The website is mostly about baby led feeding, but the founder started it because her oldest son is an incredibly picky eater and she is trying to reverse it. They work with a team of healthcare professionals so everything is scientific and evidence based. She also has a robust Instagram account. |
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bethany102399
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Post by bethany102399 on Jun 7, 2021 22:13:41 GMT
My force food story is related to beef liver. Mom was intent on making me learn to at least tolerate it. I threw up all over the dinner table 57 years later I still will gag over liver. I just threw up a bit for you. no, just no. IMHO, cooking everyone's favorites is a different than introducing kids to foods we don't like. Since discovering DS loved mushrooms, I often saute them for him & DH to have with burgers. DD and I don't touch them. I do this too. I will sometimes offer things "on the side" that fit with the meal, but I know not everyone will eat. On the flip side if something has cheese on top then I'll make half of it without cheese for our kiddos. To my mom this was catering to my kids, to me it's avoiding a battle of them not being willing to eat because cheese touched the plate. |
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Post by magellen on Jun 7, 2021 22:22:04 GMT
What does cheese pizza, chicken nuggets, Box mac&cheese, French fries have in common? Salt, grease(fats)and some sugar on a very bland base. That is very addicting and tastes the same every time , a person knows what to expect, that brings you this:
Families used to have the same meal on certain days. Fish Friday , roast beef on sundays . Meatless mondays. You knew what too expect on what day., and that is half the battle of getting little ones to eat. They eat what they are familiar with. Some studies even say that a child needs to be exposed to the same food at least 3xs before they are even interested in trying it. ( Added bonus, helps with grocery shopping and meal planning. )
Now is the time to talk to your child’s doctor. Your child may have an underlying condition: gerd, ibs, food sensitivities, ulcers, texture issues, super taster , even dental/jaw problems. You need to rule out all of that.
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Post by Linda on Jun 7, 2021 22:47:50 GMT
IMHO, cooking everyone's favorites is a different than introducing kids to foods we don't like. Since discovering DS loved mushrooms, I often saute them for him & DH to have with burgers. DD and I don't touch them.  I tend to be an adventurous cook and have tried plenty of recipes that someone in the family thought sounded good (and I didn't necessarily agree) or that was a new food/recipe for all of us, I didn't like it but everyone else did so it became a make-again. If 3/4 or 4/5 of the family likes it, we typically make it again and it doesn't seem fair for that to not hold true when I'm the hold-out. |
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Post by shamrock on Jun 8, 2021 0:21:42 GMT
My boys are teens now, but each went through a picky phase. I was also an extremely picky eater as a child. I remember many meals being battles, doctor appts where my lack of eating was discussed, and sitting at the table till I ate 1 green bean. I knew I couldn’t do that to my kids. Ellyn Satter’s books on kids and feeding/eating were recommended to me. There were many things I found that helped. Here is the website Ellyn Satter From her: “Division of Responsibility in feeding toddlers through adolescents You are responsible for what, when, and where. Your child is responsible for how much and whether.” |
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AllieC
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Post by AllieC on Jun 8, 2021 0:33:04 GMT
This sort of problem is very common with toddlers. Making it a battle of wills with punishment etc won’t be helping. I know it is frustrating and really hard but it’s time to change tack. Punishing a 3 year old for something that happened yesterday is not going to work either, it needs to be something immediate as they don’t relate when it’s so long afterwards. However I don’t think punishment works at all in this sort of situation anyway. Everyone get emotional and then mealtimes become associated with stress for everyone. I have a few friends who have been helped immensely by this paediatric dietician linktr.ee/babymealtimes she is also on Instagram as Dr_Kyla she has a paid program but also posts lots of info on her account. Hang in there. |
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Post by Zee on Jun 8, 2021 1:28:17 GMT
I have just looked here and there at the responses. Here is my story. I have a now 26 yr old, that at one point was a very picky eater. It started around 2.5-3 yrs old. Only white foods. String cheese, bread, buttered pasta, you get my drift. My mother and grandmother were very concerned. At one ped visit, I asked the "what ifs" of not eating. I was told "she will eat when she gets hungry", don't force, don't make them sit at the table, don't do the Joan Crawford and save it for the next meal. She now eats salmon, brussels sprouts, broccoli, salads, you know, normal foods. Texturey foods, still an issue. She had/has other food issues during late teen/college years to now, but she is aware of those, and my MIL and I got into one humdinger of a "discussion" when my DD didn't want green beans at one vacation family outing. MIL was forcing them. Just don't make an issue of food. They will truly eat when they need to. But if pushed too hard, it can turn around on you. Glad to see you post again!! I could have written this myself. My 23 year old eats almost like a normal person now, but he doesn't like textures and he doesn't eat very much. He's mentioned often how much he wishes he could photosynthesize! Don't make it a battle because you'll be setting yourself up for problems down the road. She'll grow and thrive and eventually learn to eat other things, unless she has food or texture sensitivities. Obviously there needs to be a reasonable compromise, such as peanut butter sandwich instead of pork chops, etc. but don't make her sit there until her plate is empty or punish her for hiding food (which she clearly didn't want to eat, imagine how you'd feel if you were forced to eat something you don't like--you might hide it too). |
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luckyjune
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Post by luckyjune on Jun 8, 2021 2:52:50 GMT
My nephew was a picky eater. His menu included white bread, mac and cheese, and hot dogs. That was it. No matter what, my brother and SIL could not get get him to eat anything else. DB and SIL are pretty adventurous eaters, so this was tough for them. They had him try foods, but he always refused more and stuck with his three items.
Fast forward to now, where he's 26 years old. His menu has expanded, but he still keeps it pretty limited. He took one of those mail in food sensitivity tests. Turns out, the kid has a boatload of possible food sensitivities. He noticed that quite a few of the foods his parents tried to get him to eat were on the list. He's wondering if there is a connection between what he refused to eat and what might make him feel sick.
I don't know if this pans out scientifically, but it makes sense to me!
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Jun 8, 2021 3:02:52 GMT
I have not read all of the posts. Try giving her a choice between something she really wants and something she doesn’t want. Then she feels like she has some control. Some people suggest using a 6 or 12 muffin pan to make the food seem interesting. Put food in each spot that would hold a muffin.
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 8, 2021 3:53:12 GMT
I tend to be an adventurous cook and have tried plenty of recipes that someone in the family thought sounded good (and I didn't necessarily agree) or that was a new food/recipe for all of us, I didn't like it but everyone else did so it became a make-again. If 3/4 or 4/5 of the family likes it, we typically make it again and it doesn't seem fair for that to not hold true when I'm the hold-out.There is a difference between something not being a favorite and really disliking something. I never eat, or make a family member eat, something we dislike. If it is someone else's favorite, I just make sure there are options on the table. |
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Post by Linda on Jun 8, 2021 4:03:53 GMT
I tend to be an adventurous cook and have tried plenty of recipes that someone in the family thought sounded good (and I didn't necessarily agree) or that was a new food/recipe for all of us, I didn't like it but everyone else did so it became a make-again. If 3/4 or 4/5 of the family likes it, we typically make it again and it doesn't seem fair for that to not hold true when I'm the hold-out.There is a difference between something not being a favorite and really disliking something. I never eat, or make a family member eat, something we dislike.  everyone has a couple of never-eats - DH says no way to liver or beets, Dd21 doesn't eat tuna ever....but outside of those things and I do still cook them (ok - not the liver although I do eat liver occasionally) but they aren't required to eat them, there's either another option (I roast an assortment of veg that includes beets and DH can pick from the others) or whoever doesn't eat it, makes something else to eat. Everything else - please give it a fair try and be polite when giving constructive feedback. I truly detest chili but everyone likes it so I do choke down a little when it's on the menu mostly because I want to model the behaviour I want to see - ie be polite, try it, express that it's not your favourite but don't say yuck and refuse it or make a big deal out of it. But every family is different. My son and husband pretty much eat whatever is put in front of them. My girls are both super picky due to sensory issues -but for a long time there wasn't much overlap between their okay foods. |
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Post by mama2three on Jun 8, 2021 4:48:38 GMT
Ok,I didn’t read every response so someone might have already said something similar, and it’s been a very long time since I had a 3 year old, but I do remember picky eating for a short time. What worked for our kids was to serve a variety of individual foods with dips. My kids would eat anything with a dip. And dips can be anything too. (Ketchup, yogurt, nut butter mixed in yogurt, ranch dressing, French dressing,homemade purées, a puréed soup. really anything. Get creative. For years my kids thought everything was better with ranch dressing). And then offer a small portion of a variety of foods cut so they’re easy to pick up and dip and don’t mind/comment on what she chooses to dip and decides she likes. Strawberries with ranch? Pizza dipped in yogurt? Whatever. If it gets her eating and trying foods, it’s all good.
Also young kids often don’t like foods to touch, so we often served using a small muffin tin with something different in each compartment. Bento boxes worked well too. My kids loved tofu cut up and served cold. It’s bland but at 3 they loved it. I’d also cut cheese and veggies in shapes with mini cookie cutters.
I once read that it can take 15 times seeing at trying a food for a child to decide to eat and enjoy it so don’t be afraid to present small amounts of a wide variety and keep offering things even if it’s not immediately accepted. Also she’s more likely to try something if you’re also eating it.
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Post by ExpatBackHome on Jun 8, 2021 6:36:43 GMT
I’ve had 2 picky eaters (one is 16 and will now eat just about anything, the other one is 7 and we’re still in the picky eater phase)
For the 7 year old, if he doesn’t eat enough dinner and is hungry later, he’s allowed to eat an apple before bed. Sometimes he says he doesn’t like apples and I tell him I’d he’s hungry enough, he’ll eat it. Other times he just takes an apple out of the fridge and eats it and other times he’s not hungry before bed and doesn’t eat anything.
Another thing is that when I introduce a new food, he doesn’t have to eat it. Depending on what it is, he may just have to smell it. If it’s not too gross, I have him just lick it once.
ETA: my son only drinks water most days. Also, very small portions of each food and I give him an “appetizer” while I cook. The appetizer is a fruit or veggie that I know he likes, right now cucumber or yellow/orange pepper. Also, if we have salad, he gets a few pieces of lettuce, 2-3 small pieces of tomato and a few pieces of cucumber separated.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Jun 8, 2021 6:39:49 GMT
First off, don’t over react when she “ lies”. Small children don’t see it the same way we do, and making a big deal about lying will just make them less likely to be open with you. Make it easy for your little ones to confide in you, and be understanding that they may say what they think you want to hear or what they think will get them out of a jam. Gradually, you help them see that it’s good to be open with you. Positive reinforcement, not negative.
Food is turning into a power struggle between your dd and you. And she’s observed that mom is the weak link. Make a list of foods she will eat that you are ok with. Try to make sure that at least some of that list is included with each meal. the reason for this is that once they start eating, their natural appetite often kicks in and they are more likely to try the other stuff on their plate. Then include other foods you hope she’ll try. Keep it simple. Most toddlers don’t like foods mixed, overly spiced, or vegetables too cooked. If necessary, offer raw veggies if they hate cooked.
A serving for a toddler is tiny. Put a small amount of each item on the plate. Make easy small bites. Now, as others have said, don’t pay a lot of attention to what and how much they are eating. Otherwise they go power mad. Just talk about your day, keep dinner table conversation pleasant. Trust her to eat if she’s hungry.
Some accommodations are appropriate. For instance, DS will keep part of the meat very simply seasoned for his 5 year old. They will give her pasta with pesto because she hates marinara. And she won’t eat salad mixed up with dressing, but if you give her some lettuce, carrot, cucumber and broccoli dry on her plate she’ll eat it all.
Planning ahead will help you. Driving through places sets their hearts on their favorite treats, and now you get no cooperation for real food. Pack something you approve of you know she’ll eat, and then if you choose, you could always get that treat later.
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57 years later I still will gag over liver. 
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