|
|
Post by Darcy Collins on Jun 15, 2021 15:38:43 GMT
How long ago was your daughter's procedure? I completely understand your frustration and it's past time he paid his portion of your children's medical bills. I will say if I'm reading the OP correctly, you're saying for the son's wisdom teeth you don't want to pay your final portion as you paid for the entire balance for your daughter - so it will even out if he pays the balance for the son. Depending on how long it's been and how clean your records are, I'm not sure that you can make that argument. I can see if you want to go to court and present all of the money you're due and net out the amount you owe for the son's wisdom teeth - but I think it could get messy if you just don't pay your portion - especially if daughter's teeth were several years ago - especially if there isn't robust documentation on his refusal to pay. Best of luck to you.
|
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Jun 15, 2021 16:00:24 GMT
I would get a lawyer and let them deal with it.
|
|
inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
|
Post by inkedup on Jun 15, 2021 16:13:02 GMT
Since the bills are in your name, what is going to happen to your credit when he doesn’t pay and it is turned over to a debt collector? You should have gotten a lawyer involved years ago, instead of setting the precedent that you would simply pay. Now is the time, unless you want to pay the full bill, to get a lawyer involved. It may be that he/she can help you get back payment for his share of past medical bills too. This bill is in his name. I have paid ALL the bills over the years in my name. I should have gotten a lawyer but for my sanity it was far easier to just pay my copays and I figured in the long run it was cheaper than a lawyer. I'd see an attorney asap. Pull all your invoices, payment records and proof of things like the concessions you worked, too. Good luck. |
|
|
|
Post by scrapmaven on Jun 15, 2021 16:15:57 GMT
I would consult w/your divorce lawyer. The new wife who clearly wants the money for herself isn't part of the settlement. It's very clear that your ex is being controlled by his gonads. Your ex-hole has to honor the agreement and your lawyer can get those terms enforced.
|
|
dexter
Full Member
Posts: 233
Nov 28, 2016 15:57:15 GMT
|
Post by dexter on Jun 15, 2021 16:37:26 GMT
Are you referring to medical bills for your children? If so, there should be a QMCSO (Qualified Medical Child Support Order)included in divorce papers. And are payments ordered to be enforced by a Friend of the Court or other agency? If this is ordered through an agency then they can enforce the order. Pull your records and documentation together and submit to them for enforcement and collection for reimbursement to you. You indicate there is already a split as to what he pays. If so, then you are able to submit the bills to the agency enforcing, and they will notify him what he owes. If he has child support paid through the agency, they will add the medical bills to what he owes, and if necessary increase his Income Withholding Order to cover reimbursement. I would recommend doing this on a quarterly basis. Each state had a different set up for enforcement of orders in a Divorce regarding minor children. In Michigan (where I am) enforcement is handled through a Friend of the Court. In NY (where my DD is), she must petition the Court for enforcement, but is can be done pro per (by herself, without an attorney). Verbal agreements cannot be enforced by a Court. If you have the QMCSO included in your Judgement, then send a copy to the medical provider, with documentation of your portion of the payment, and see if they will bill him directly. The QMSCO's were implemented in the early 2000, as a federally mandated requirement. I worked on the team for my local FOC in implementing this program across the State of Michigan. But I have been retired for 15 years, so things may have changed, but as this was a federal requirement for any minor child, I cannot see that it has changed too much. You need to review your Court order, and if necessary, talk to your local agency. And you are essentially advocating for your minor children, and you have to pursue this. Maybe look at their (the ex and current spouse) behavior not so much as bullying you, but neglecting your children. And, as I have said repeatedly in the past to others, SHE has no input, responsibility or say so in this matter. She is nobody when it comes to your minor children. Tell the Ex to man up, and that you will only address him regarding this, and any other matters regarding your minor children. There is not enforcement situation in my decree, and I am unaware of any services that provide this. I may look into it, thank you for the advice. |
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Jun 15, 2021 18:32:20 GMT
You need a lawyer. Can you imagine how it will be in five more years? Do not let her bully you. His kids are 58% his responsibility financially. Do not take the easy way out.
|
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Jun 15, 2021 21:06:41 GMT
Nope. It’s court ordered. If he wants to make issue, let him take you back to court where he can be ordered to pay the difference in what he still owes you.  You should have returned to court the first time. He and new wife think that if they have a fit, then you will pay for it all.
I'd ask the court for the previous amounts as well.
|
|
|
|
Post by crimsoncat05 on Jun 15, 2021 21:37:47 GMT
You need to review your Court order, and if necessary, talk to your local agency. And you are essentially advocating for your minor children, and you have to pursue this. Maybe look at their (the ex and current spouse) behavior not so much as bullying you, but neglecting your children. And, as I have said repeatedly in the past to others, SHE has no input, responsibility or say so in this matter. She is nobody when it comes to your minor children. ^^^ this. By refusing to pay for their care, your ex is neglecting the children, whether his new wife is pushing him to do it or not. They are his children too, and as such, he is also financially responsible for their care. |
|
dexter
Full Member
Posts: 233
Nov 28, 2016 15:57:15 GMT
|
Post by dexter on Jun 16, 2021 13:20:08 GMT
OK Peas, help me respond to his email. He is telling me the amount of the bill and that he will be paying his 58%. (He actually wrote 57% because he always gets the true percentage "off" for some reason.)
This is his email: I went through emails this morning. I see a discussion on Emily's ortho and the only thing via email is the deposit, which we paid. My text messages only go back 3 years and her wisdom teeth were taken out in 2017. I do not have an email with a bill for additional charges. When bills have been presented we have paid them. I don't think you would've sent the bill via text message.
Also, have you been reimbursed for Carter's trip? We made $75 monthly payments and we would expect to be reimbursed for that as well.
We will be making our 57% of Carter's wisdom teeth for the additional charges. I'm attaching a picture of the bill to this email. Please let me know if you want a scanned copy instead. Also, you might want to call you medical insurance. It might reduce the payment we both owe on this bill.
Any ideas of a reply?
|
|
|
|
Post by busy on Jun 16, 2021 13:37:07 GMT
OK Peas, help me respond to his email. He is telling me the amount of the bill and that he will be paying his 58%. (He actually wrote 57% because he always gets the true percentage "off" for some reason.) This is his email: I went through emails this morning. I see a discussion on Emily's ortho and the only thing via email is the deposit, which we paid. My text messages only go back 3 years and her wisdom teeth were taken out in 2017. I do not have an email with a bill for additional charges. When bills have been presented we have paid them. I don't think you would've sent the bill via text message. Also, have you been reimbursed for Carter's trip? We made $75 monthly payments and we would expect to be reimbursed for that as well. We will be making our 57% of Carter's wisdom teeth for the additional charges. I'm attaching a picture of the bill to this email. Please let me know if you want a scanned copy instead. Also, you might want to call you medical insurance. It might reduce the payment we both owe on this bill. Any ideas of a reply? Forward it to your attorney. Do not continue to engage until you’ve gotten legal advice and then follow what they tell you to a tee |
|
used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,030 
|
Post by used2scrap on Jun 16, 2021 13:56:41 GMT
I would reply with a copy of the decree stipulating his portion at the correct percent, a copy of dd’s wisdom teeth bill and his percent outstanding noted, the amounts each of you payed into the trip, (is this in the deceee as well?) the refund amount, and any money due back to him accordingly with his percentage paid in, and a copy of the current amount due for ds now.
If you didn’t present the bills and just started paying them on your own you can’t now decide you aren’t covering current bills to pay yourself back. It sucks but you’ve still got a long way to go so best to just continue sending the bills via email to ex with the 58% amount highlighted. Keep meticulous records, ignore any comments that aren’t factual business, and if you get stuck paying something keep those records too and if it gets bad enough you’ll have documentation should you seek a lawyer to sort it out.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 24, 2024 10:27:09 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2021 16:08:38 GMT
There’s nothing that states that you have to request reimbursement after each visit nor is there anything that gives him the right to pay only what he deems is reasonable right? If not, do a spreadsheet with all the bills, what he’s paid and what is outstanding, attach copies of the bills and a copy of the court order, and ask him for his share. Keep all communications in writing so you can use them as evidence. While the amount may not be that much now, you should still press for reimbursement as it sets the stage for how future bills be will handled. Unfortunately, you’ll likely have to take him to court, but perhaps the threat of doing so will be enough to get him to pay.
|
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Jun 16, 2021 17:40:42 GMT
OK Peas, help me respond to his email. He is telling me the amount of the bill and that he will be paying his 58%. (He actually wrote 57% because he always gets the true percentage "off" for some reason.) This is his email: I went through emails this morning. I see a discussion on Emily's ortho and the only thing via email is the deposit, which we paid. My text messages only go back 3 years and her wisdom teeth were taken out in 2017. I do not have an email with a bill for additional charges. When bills have been presented we have paid them. I don't think you would've sent the bill via text message. Also, have you been reimbursed for Carter's trip? We made $75 monthly payments and we would expect to be reimbursed for that as well. We will be making our 57% of Carter's wisdom teeth for the additional charges. I'm attaching a picture of the bill to this email. Please let me know if you want a scanned copy instead. Also, you might want to call you medical insurance. It might reduce the payment we both owe on this bill. Any ideas of a reply? Forward it to your attorney. Do not continue to engage until you’ve gotten legal advice and then follow what they tell you to a tee This is great advice. If you don’t pay part of your son’s wisdom teeth bill, it sounds like you will be headed to court anyway. Better to get someone on your case now and have them put all your past bills, etc., in a spreadsheet that will be acceptable in court. I am confused about the trip that was cancelled - he claims he made monthly payments of $75, and you don’t think he did? Did the school pocket extra money, or is he fabricating? |
|
lizacreates
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,856
|
Post by lizacreates on Jun 16, 2021 18:14:27 GMT
OK Peas, help me respond to his email. He is telling me the amount of the bill and that he will be paying his 58%. (He actually wrote 57% because he always gets the true percentage "off" for some reason.) This is his email: I went through emails this morning. I see a discussion on Emily's ortho and the only thing via email is the deposit, which we paid. My text messages only go back 3 years and her wisdom teeth were taken out in 2017. I do not have an email with a bill for additional charges. When bills have been presented we have paid them. I don't think you would've sent the bill via text message. Also, have you been reimbursed for Carter's trip? We made $75 monthly payments and we would expect to be reimbursed for that as well. We will be making our 57% of Carter's wisdom teeth for the additional charges. I'm attaching a picture of the bill to this email. Please let me know if you want a scanned copy instead. Also, you might want to call you medical insurance. It might reduce the payment we both owe on this bill. Any ideas of a reply? Just tell him you paid for 100% of Emily’s ortho balance yourself after both you and he paid your portions of the deposit. Since he didn’t pay his portion of the balance, then to equalize things, he has to pay the full balance on Carter’s dental bills. Why are you experiencing so much difficulty in just directly stating the facts to him in an email? I’m sorry to say this, but this ortho/dental brouhaha began when you did not email Emily’s bill to him and just called him, got exasperated and paid his portion as well just to end it. That practice needs to stop. Give him the facts and if he refuses to pay, tell him you’re going to court to enforce the child support order. |
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Jun 16, 2021 19:25:55 GMT
Get a good lawyer & set them straight going forward. I do not know what it’s like in your state but in my state judges frown on not following signed court orders.
|
|
|
|
Post by flypea1 on Jun 16, 2021 19:29:41 GMT
This whole situation stinks, I know how mentally exhausting it can be. It seems funny that he was fine with his wife adjusting repayments at her whim but when you do it then its not ok. I would reply to his email with a spreadsheet of the costs vs who paid what for the dental procedures and the trip.
Then keep it for your records and no longer respond to anything.
|
|
|
|
Post by bigbundt on Jun 16, 2021 20:39:08 GMT
If you don't like confrontation, paying a lawyer to go to bat for you is money well spent for the next five years.
Who was he making the trip $75 monthly payments to? Why wouldn't he get the money back from them? Was he paying it to you?
|
|
You should have returned to court the first time. He and new wife think that if they have a fit, then you will pay for it all.
