bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,510 
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Post by bethany102399 on Jun 16, 2021 18:56:36 GMT
Have you/ would you travel for a fun, non school sanctioned (meaning it's not for band or a trip organized through the school) with just one kid leaving the other one at home with the other parent?
We took our much delayed family vacation to Universal in early June. I was really anxious about it, but it wound up being a great time. With all the closures from 2020, our annual passes are good through early February of 22. Both DS and myself really had fun. DD and DH, while they say they had a great time are also happy to never go back. (to be fair it was surface of the sun hot)
With the passes still valid I'm noodling around looking at dates and MLK weekend in January 22 has decent hotel rates. I know if I suggest this to DH I'll get our travel plans for 22 are set (they are) and we're not spending the money (which is code for I don't want to travel). But what if it was just DS and myself? I guess it just feels unfair to DD, but at the same time when asked where she might like to go as we look at planning the next few years I got I want to go by myself, not as a family (oh 15 how I love you).
I don't know how I feel about it so i thought I'd ask you all.
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Post by mom on Jun 16, 2021 19:05:26 GMT
I would do it, but I also would frequently do things one on one with my kids. So if I did take one child on the trip, I would make an effort to do something else with the child left at home.
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Post by floridagirl on Jun 16, 2021 19:06:46 GMT
I would and have done so....  |
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,728
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on Jun 16, 2021 19:08:49 GMT
I did. DD and I went with friends to Chicago for a long weekend -- we wanted to visit the American Girl store (which was the only one back then.) We had a blast. While we were gone, my husband taught DS-11 how to drive in his company parking lot. Everyone had a blast.
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caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,436
Location: So Cal
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Post by caangel on Jun 16, 2021 19:08:55 GMT
YES, do it! But like you said I would make sure to do a solo trip for both kids. While I haven't done it yet, I have done solo trips to Disneyland when my kids were younger and we had passes. We live very close so it was just a day trip. There's just a different dynamic with you are just with one kid. My ILs come weekly to "play" with the kids. A few times I have suggested they take just one and they have both found it very fun to be with just one kid, and the kid has enjoyed the solo time with their sibling.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 16, 2021 19:12:13 GMT
We’ve done it a few times. DS was a Boy Scout and there were several high adventure trips that he and DH made. DD and I usually did something fun at the same time or had another trip planned. IMO, family vacations are still important, but as the kids get older it’s natural for them to have separate interests.
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Post by stingfan on Jun 16, 2021 19:13:57 GMT
I took dd#2 to Newport, RI one summer. The next summer, I took dd#1 to NYC. Just keep everything as balanced as possible . |
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Post by dewryce on Jun 16, 2021 19:14:47 GMT
Absolutely I would. Just make sure and take your other child on a solo trip as well.
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Post by rainangel on Jun 16, 2021 19:22:54 GMT
I did last October.
She was supposed to go on a schooltrip which was cancelled because of covid. So me and her took a trip by ourselves to a bigger city near us to go shopping, see some sights and visit my brother.
My other DD was with my parents for the five days we were gone.
And I loved it. I am a single parent to two teenaged girls, so we do most things as a group. Spending alonetime with one of them is very precious to me. They open up so much more when their annoying sister isn't around.
I'm taking the other one on a solotrip next year.
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 16, 2021 19:22:57 GMT
Yes, we have.
I've done plenty of trips with just the kids and no DH. If we had to wait for him to be available, the trips would never have happened.
As they got older we have done more trips with different configurations. Lots with just DD, a few with DH & DD, and DH has taken trips one-on-one with us all. He and DD took a 2 week road trip to visit NPs after he finally accepted their Greece trip was not going to happen last September.
Just thinking about all our trips, I realized I've never taken a one-on-one trip with DS.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jun 16, 2021 19:27:30 GMT
Sure I would. Why not? If the other two members of the family aren't that interested then go do something you enjoy for an extended weekend. You'll do family vacations, as well.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,585
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jun 16, 2021 19:30:05 GMT
I'd be sure to ask the other child if they wanted to go and I'd be sure (as everyone else has said) to keep it balanced.
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,510
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Post by bethany102399 on Jun 16, 2021 19:32:03 GMT
Just keep everything as balanced as possible . absolutely we would. She starts her sophomore year of high school in the fall so I'm looking at starting college visits in 23. We actually asked her if she wanted to travel as a HS graduation gift, that's where the yes but not with you comment came from. They're very different people and I think while DS finds travel exciting, DD is such a homebody that a special outing looks different to her. I will sit with this some more and see how I feel before broaching the subject with DH. thanks guys. |
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Post by voltagain on Jun 16, 2021 19:35:02 GMT
It sounds like she wants to go, just not have to hang around with an annoying sibling. Plan some touch base times, like at meal times, but otherwise let her go stand in her own lines instead of staying with you. Or if dh's pass can be used by her friend take along her bestie for her to hang with. |
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,510
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Post by bethany102399 on Jun 16, 2021 20:03:45 GMT
It sounds like she wants to go, just not have to hang around with an annoying sibling. Plan some touch base times, like at meal times, but otherwise let her go stand in her own lines instead of staying with you. Or if dh's pass can be used by her friend take along her bestie for her to hang with. This is what she did this last trip. Took off on her own with our blessing as long as she stayed in touch via phone. She's happiest when she can "chill" with her sketchbook and phone. I know the heat bothered her as well. |
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,631
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Post by janeliz on Jun 16, 2021 20:11:17 GMT
Absolutely. Each of my girls got a trip to NYC when they turned 10. Just the two of us.
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Post by 950nancy on Jun 16, 2021 20:45:15 GMT
We always offer every trip to both kids. One of them always says yes. One of my favorite trips was a 5 day trip to Universal with my then 19 year old son. I had promised to take him to HP World when it opened 6 years prior. It was just the two of us and neither my husband or other son (21) wanted to go. My husband has taken either one of both of my sons on trips prior to this, so it wasn't a big deal.
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Post by ~summer~ on Jun 16, 2021 20:50:01 GMT
With 3 kids I frequently do this. Everyone wins.
I find “fun for the whole family” a contradiction of terms 😂
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Belle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,309
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Post by Belle on Jun 16, 2021 20:52:04 GMT
Yes, both of my kids got to have a special trip when they turned 13 just them and one parent. DH and DS went to Universal because DS was a huge Harry Potter fan. DD and I went to Hawaii. In addition, DD and I flew to LA in Dec of 2019 for a Harry Styles concert. I love traveling as a family but really love the one on one time a lot too.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jun 16, 2021 20:53:12 GMT
I think spending one on one time is great. I'd just plan something special to do with her - doesn't have to even be a trip, just something that she would particularly enjoy.
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Deleted
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Apr 23, 2024 9:35:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 16, 2021 21:06:04 GMT
You would save a ton with just 2 of you if you already have annual passes! If you can, go with your DS now and plan something in the same price range with just your DD later on.
We have done this a number of times with 1 or 2 kids out of the 4. DD1 probably got the short end of the stick on it, but it was just harder financially and more chaotic with 3 younger siblings back then. DS is the youngest and also has been left out a bit more, but he has me lined up to do a trip with him at some point. He wants to go to Vanuatu and I'm a ways off from even looking into a trip like that.
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Post by cmpeter on Jun 16, 2021 23:38:00 GMT
I've done it frequently, but we also make sure to keep it even. Ds and I would go to Disneyland for our birthdays since they were close together. But, then I would take DD on a solo trip for Halloween because she loved to dress up. Or, DD wanted to go to Vegas and Ds wanted to go to Glacier National park. DH and I split the trips and each took one of the kids with us.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,901
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Post by pilcas on Jun 16, 2021 23:42:16 GMT
I would ask DD is she wanted to come and if she declines, no problem. I would not take one without making an invitation to come or offer an equivalent trip.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,144
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jun 17, 2021 0:00:01 GMT
I have 2 sons and 1 daughter.
I have traveled several times with just my daughter.
My sons have also traveled solo with their dad.
My daughter and I like to do the same things. And the boys like to go on hunting trips with their dad. It all works out for us and nobody ever has hurt feelings or feels left out.
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Post by epeanymous on Jun 17, 2021 0:01:22 GMT
I see no issue as long as it genuinely evens out.
Each of our kids gets a solo trip with a parent at ten. The oldest had two other solo trips, and my second-oldest got a bar mitzvah trip with just me. For us, some travel (Broadway shows, eg) just has not been practical with multiple very young kids (my youngest turns six this summer and travel should be easier now; there was a time when I had four under six, and that was not a treat for travel).
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Post by Tamhugh on Jun 17, 2021 0:13:03 GMT
When DS#1 was in middle school, he opted to stay home for basketball tryouts instead of going to Walt Disney World. DH was happy to stay home with him so DS#2 and I went alone. We met up with extended family a few times but mostly had fun together. We have since done two other trips together, including one when he graduated college.
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Post by padresfan619 on Jun 17, 2021 0:22:34 GMT
My mom won a trip to Australia and my dad was unable to go with her, so she took my brother. To make up for it she saved up for a couple years to take me to London my senior year of high school. The only person who hasn’t been out of the country with my mom is my poor dad!
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 17, 2021 1:48:00 GMT
We've looked at doing it, but my kids are 17 and 19
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 17, 2021 12:05:56 GMT
I think it's perfectly fine. Give your DD time to think about what she'd like to do on her solo trip.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 17, 2021 13:05:35 GMT
I see nothing wrong with taking two trips, one with each kid. However, I would most likely reconsider getting passes to Universal because it sounds to me like only two of your family actually enjoy it. Maybe a vacation that's been taken a few times too many is no longer thrilling some of your family and it's time to switch gears and plan a different family vacation. If it's important to you that you all get a vacation together, that is.
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