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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 18, 2021 16:02:04 GMT
I'm curious if you ever went through sort of a mid-life crisis or just a very blah time or felt like you were just treading water with your life and what you did about it.
My sister confided in me yesterday that she's going through this and I had a few things to say, but she and I are very different people so I had a hard time relating in some ways. For example, I tend to have ups and downs on the regular. So there is some kind of trial in my life and I read and write and talk and study and see a therapist until I feel I've righted the ship, if that makes sense. I also craft and meditate and do yoga and run and invest a lot of energy in myself to refill my mental cup. But I feel like my journey is one where I'm constantly forging a new path for myself and my issues feel like I take two steps forward and one step back, if you know what I mean. But I feel like my life has been a continuous journey forward where I'm steering the ship. And the way she described it to me is like she's just been muddling along a path and now finds herself in the middle of somewhere and doesn't like where she ended up, if that makes sense.
I recommended a book to her to start. I also said to her that I think she gets too worked up over very minor things and that I'm not thinking she's been investing enough in herself. But I kept it light and I want to tread lightly because my sister can be a little touchy. She said she wants to get together for drinks and discuss some more so that's why I thought it might be helpful to have your feedback on this.
What say you?
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Deleted
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Mar 28, 2024 16:11:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2021 16:41:18 GMT
I'm curious if you ever went through sort of a mid-life crisis or just a very blah time or felt like you were just treading water with your life and what you did about it. I'm at this point atm, I'm 52 in a few weeks and I feel like my life has zero direction. I'm struggling with lack of motivation and have absolutely no clue how to get out of my rut. I do feel like I've just been muddling along this past couple of years. I wish I knew what the answer was.
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Post by malibou on Jun 18, 2021 16:44:35 GMT
If I remember correctly, you and your sister come at life and relationships in a very different manner. From the outside, I can see why your sister would come seeking advice from you. You are a rock star on the mental health and self help front! And ever so good at breaking things down into manageable bites to help us all understand mental health. You are who I would seek help from.
You know your sister best, do you think she is being honest in her desire to have you help her? If so, I think recommending reading material with a set plan to go over talking points would be a good place to start. It gives her tools to reference as needed and relieves you of the burden of talking at her about something she hasn't always been open to.
Sibling dynamics can be so hard to navigate, and I find myself shocked to see how my relationships with my 4 siblings still shift around after all these years.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 18, 2021 17:06:57 GMT
I'm curious if you ever went through sort of a mid-life crisis or just a very blah time or felt like you were just treading water with your life and what you did about it. I'm at this point atm, I'm 52 in a few weeks and I feel like my life has zero direction. I'm struggling with lack of motivation and have absolutely no clue how to get out of my rut. I do feel like I've just been muddling along this past couple of years. I wish I knew what the answer was. I'm sorry you're going through this. Maybe if there's some good suggestions on this thread, it will help with what you're going through.
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Post by ~Tracy~ on Jun 18, 2021 17:12:03 GMT
This topic has been rattling around in my brain a lot over the past week or so specifically. I’m on summer vacation and it’s the first year that both kids have their licenses, so that means they’re shuttling themselves to jobs, sports, activities and friends without needing me. I’m finding myself home alone most of the time and it’s kind of...boring. I feel like I should be cherishing this time and getting projects done....but....I feel like I’m just puttering around each day and not accomplishing anything big. I think my identity was so wrapped up in being a hands on mom that I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing right now.
I really am in a good place, but I think I’m going to need to spend some time this summer reflecting on what I should be doing with the rest of my life. DH is so supportive of me being home all summer without the kids needing me, but I feel like there should be something more out there for me to do.
ETA: The part of your post about your sister just muddling along her path and not liking where she’s at is what hit home for me. I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder why I didn’t do more in life. I just need to figure out what “more” is.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 18, 2021 17:13:23 GMT
If I remember correctly, you and your sister come at life and relationships in a very different manner. From the outside, I can see why your sister would come seeking advice from you. You are a rock star on the mental health and self help front! And ever so good at breaking things down into manageable bites to help us all understand mental health. You are who I would seek help from. You know your sister best, do you think she is being honest in her desire to have you help her? If so, I think recommending reading material with a set plan to go over talking points would be a good place to start. It gives her tools to reference as needed and relieves you of the burden of talking at her about something she hasn't always been open to. Sibling dynamics can be so hard to navigate, and I find myself shocked to see how my relationships with my 4 siblings still shift around after all these years. I guess that this is part of why I'm treading lightly. My sister has the "perfect" life. Meaning she has worked really hard to cultivate an image of things as being just right. She's played by the rules and she's made good decisions. I'm sure she has insecurities just like anyone else would, but she makes a habit of not showing vulnerability. And over our lifetime has played into the idea that my life is unstable. It feels weird her coming to me and I'm nervous if I say too much that I'm going to get bitten. But, on the flip side, I was like 110% shocked to hear her talk like this last night. So I was feeling like she obviously thinks I can help in some way if she trusted me enough to open up to me. I want to be a good sister. I want to try my best to help her. I'm just not even sure where to begin.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 18, 2021 17:37:26 GMT
ETA: The part of your post about your sister just muddling along her path and not liking where she’s at is what hit home for me. I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder why I didn’t do more in life. I just need to figure out what “more” is. It's very funny you should phrase it as "more." Because I think about myself and I'm just not interested in having more. That's not to say I'm without goals, but my goals are things like a challenging crochet pattern or a weekly learning goal(reading nonfiction books, for example) or inventing a new cookie or running four blocks further. I'm not here living a high life, really. I have enough drama with my kids that I'm not interested in climbing the corporate ladder, I'm content in my boring job. I find joy in challenging myself at things that I enjoy doing. I am perfectly OK with my small life. And you post made me wonder if she's asking me, really, how to be content with life. Because that's the way I would describe myself, really. Not wanting more, but just enjoying what I have and what I am.
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Post by catmom on Jun 18, 2021 17:42:42 GMT
I don’t know if this helps, but a mid life dip in happiness is a biologically normal occurrence in humans across the world and has even been observed in primates (came up in a behavioural economics course). The cause is not known though there are theories. One theory, not proven but interesting, is that in our twenties possibilities are all ahead of us and we tend to believe life will get better in the future. As we hit our forties or fifties, we realize that future is now, and this (whatever “this” is for the individual) may be as good as it gets.
Which is to say, what she’s feeling is rather normal and not a personal failing. And that it typically lifts on its own throughout our fifties.
It could be a good opportunity for therapy to take stock, to think about her ‘something bigger’, or to take the free science of well-being (maybe called happiness lab) course by Yale offered by Coursera. The course is excellent and covers how we define happiness and satisfaction, versus what actually makes us happy.
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,243
Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Jun 18, 2021 17:42:54 GMT
Well I belong to a coaching group for mid-life women that has been a great experience. It's with Suzy Rosenstein, and she has a podcast that I would recommend to all of you who are struggling. It's called Women in the Middle, Loving Life After 50. I will also say that the way you all (and your sister) feel is super common.
We spend a lot of time taking care of others, then wonder why we feel unsatisfied and unmoored. We lose sight of our true selves. I have been working hard on this for the last year and have made a ton of progress on accepting where I am now and believing that the best is yet to come.
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
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Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Jun 18, 2021 17:53:10 GMT
I'm not very good with writing things out and explaining things. But I have gone through some "stuff". But one thing, and this is not a criticism of you, but this statement "I also said to her that I think she gets too worked up over very minor things" seems to be minimizing her feelings. They might be minor things to you, but maybe not so minor to her. I have had someone in my life tell me things I thought were worth getting worked up about were not important. Well maybe not to them, but to me they were.
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Post by bc2ca on Jun 18, 2021 18:05:47 GMT
The hardest times in my life have been when I've achieved a goal (job, school, etc.) and life gets into a rhythm for a couple years and I look around and think "is this it?" I seem to continuously need to update a 5 year plan and/or have some sort of goals to work toward.
When I start feeling out of control/blah I recommit to self care (meditation, exercise, diet, sleep, purge closets) and try to figure out what in my life is making me unhappy. Then the question is can I change it or add in something else.
I've done things like take college art classes, cooking classes, new exercise routine, day trips, and volunteering with community organizations to push myself out of a slump.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 18, 2021 18:14:33 GMT
to take the free science of well-being (maybe called happiness lab) course by Yale offered by Coursera. The course is excellent and covers how we define happiness and satisfaction, versus what actually makes us happy. Thank you for this suggestion. I like the idea of teaching ourselves to redefine happiness. It's with Suzy Rosenstein, and she has a podcast that I would recommend to all of you who are struggling. It's called Women in the Middle, Loving Life After 50. Thank you for this suggestion too. She's not a current podcast listener (to any) but it may help her tiptoe into it. but this statement "I also said to her that I think she gets too worked up over very minor things" seems to be minimizing her feelings. They might be minor things to you, but maybe not so minor to her. I have had someone in my life tell me things I thought were worth getting worked up about were not important. Well maybe not to them, but to me they were. I can appreciate your perspective. But there's got to be some sort of line. When you are losing your mind over the way someone puts the toilet paper roll on(not that she did, but this is where it's at) you have to step back and question whether you are letting too many things get to you. Again, I have some pretty big worries and I can see where someone (her or you) might think by this comment I'm being dismissive and I don't want to come across that way, so I'll think about how I can phrase things better. But I totally believe in my heart that there are many things that aren't worth getting worked up over. I'm trying to tread lightly, as best I can because there's an anxiety issue there that I believe some therapy and maybe? some medication would help with that is blowing up this problem.
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Post by refugeepea on Jun 18, 2021 19:27:39 GMT
My sister has the "perfect" life. Meaning she has worked really hard to cultivate an image of things as being just right. She's played by the rules and she's made good decisions. I'm sure she has insecurities just like anyone else would, but she makes a habit of not showing vulnerability. Do you think she may have always held back about her struggles knowing what you have gone through? She's not necessarily trying to cultivate a perfect image, but not wanting to burden others. She may see some of her issues as insignificant compared to yours. If they are bigger, she doesn't want to add stress to your life.
Anyway, from my personal experience I choose not to let others know about my biggest issues. I don't want the attention on me because then it's a follow up, a phone call, a text from that person. Then you have the obligation of responding. I'm sure I did not word that right, but it's one more thing to do.
Your sister freaking out over a toilet paper roll (I know this was just an example) is probably a culmination of lots of things that have built up. I don't think you can truly know what anyone else is going through. Even if it's someone you think you know very well.
I guess I feel like your sister but I'm limited in my choices. I know all the mental health tips and suggestions, but it doesn't mean I can do them. I wouldn't call it a mid-life crisis. I don't feel like I'm treading water (at least not all the time). My life is blah, but that's okay. After the last year of pandemic, politics, and personal stuff, I'd rather my life be boring.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 18, 2021 19:38:01 GMT
Do you think she may have always held back about her struggles knowing what you have gone through? She's not necessarily trying to cultivate a perfect image, but not wanting to burden others. She may see some of her issues as insignificant compared to yours. If they are bigger, she doesn't want to add stress to your life. I don't know. That's surely a possibility. And one I'll consider. I guess I'm just trying to address this with her in a sensitive way because I'm surprised that she even said something yesterday. I want to be gracious and kind to her because obviously she is hurting. I will share with her some resources. Even today I came across another book I had read which I thought she might find beneficial and I texted her the link. I don't think you can truly know what anyone else is going through. I agree with this. I'm outside, looking in. And for the most part, she has kept me outside for many years, except for the things I see myself when we are together. So I don't want to screw up the one time she let me in.
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Post by busy on Jun 18, 2021 20:00:28 GMT
If I remember correctly, you and your sister come at life and relationships in a very different manner. From the outside, I can see why your sister would come seeking advice from you. You are a rock star on the mental health and self help front! And ever so good at breaking things down into manageable bites to help us all understand mental health. You are who I would seek help from. You know your sister best, do you think she is being honest in her desire to have you help her? If so, I think recommending reading material with a set plan to go over talking points would be a good place to start. It gives her tools to reference as needed and relieves you of the burden of talking at her about something she hasn't always been open to. Sibling dynamics can be so hard to navigate, and I find myself shocked to see how my relationships with my 4 siblings still shift around after all these years. I guess that this is part of why I'm treading lightly. My sister has the "perfect" life. Meaning she has worked really hard to cultivate an image of things as being just right. She's played by the rules and she's made good decisions. I'm sure she has insecurities just like anyone else would, but she makes a habit of not showing vulnerability. And over our lifetime has played into the idea that my life is unstable. It feels weird her coming to me and I'm nervous if I say too much that I'm going to get bitten. But, on the flip side, I was like 110% shocked to hear her talk like this last night. So I was feeling like she obviously thinks I can help in some way if she trusted me enough to open up to me. I want to be a good sister. I want to try my best to help her. I'm just not even sure where to begin. 1. Did she ask for your help or did she ask you to listen? She may just want to be heard and not want advice. If she wants advice, great, I think you can give her lots of bite-sized, actionable tips. But just be sure that's actually what she is looking for from you. 2. I see some of myself in your sister. I would not describe my life as perfect in any way, but I know that a lot of people have perceptions like that of me. I am pretty confident, capable, adaptable, reasonably smart, and have built a good life for myself. But it can be F'ING EXHAUSTING to be the person everyone assumes has their shit together and is shocked if you need help, support, are struggling, etc. I don't show vulnerability to many people because they don't deal with it well. It's painful to open up to someone and be met with shock that it doesn't fit with their view of me rather than care and meaningful support. I don't know her and you've known her for a lifetime. But be gentle in your judgments; there may be more going on than you realize.
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Post by jackietex on Jun 18, 2021 20:13:19 GMT
ETA: The part of your post about your sister just muddling along her path and not liking where she’s at is what hit home for me. I don’t want to wake up one day and wonder why I didn’t do more in life. I just need to figure out what “more” is. It's very funny you should phrase it as "more." Because I think about myself and I'm just not interested in having more. That's not to say I'm without goals, but my goals are things like a challenging crochet pattern or a weekly learning goal(reading nonfiction books, for example) or inventing a new cookie or running four blocks further. I'm not here living a high life, really. I have enough drama with my kids that I'm not interested in climbing the corporate ladder, I'm content in my boring job. I find joy in challenging myself at things that I enjoy doing. I am perfectly OK with my small life. And you post made me wonder if she's asking me, really, how to be content with life. Because that's the way I would describe myself, really. Not wanting more, but just enjoying what I have and what I am. I feel very similarly and I don't even work outside the home. I feel like I'm supposed to/should want more, but I'm very content with very little happening in my life. I do have ADHD and busyness stresses me out and I'm not good and having to focus on more than one major thing in my life. I feel content, but is it a good thing to be content with so little (I'm not talking about possessions).
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 18, 2021 20:52:51 GMT
I agree with you busy that it's possible she just wanted me to listen. I didn't get that vibe from her. But it's possible. I also didn't get the vibe that she was put off by the things I did say which wasn't much. You might be surprised by the fact that people who noticeably don't have their shit together also don't share with others all the time about what they are going through. I rarely tell my sister things unless it's big, it can't be kept a secret. My sister has a history of judging me. She always needs to be right. She will shout down everyone. And often when I speak up, I get the you're too sensitive comment. So I often don't speak up about things. I might share what's going on with me like I bought new yarn or my kid got a job. But that doesn't mean I share my thoughts, feelings and opinions either. Quite frankly I walked away from the whole encounter yesterday surprised. But I will try to just see where this goes. And frankly I can absolutely imagine that it is exhausting to always feel like you have to have your shit together. I cannot even imagine what that's like because I don't have my shit together and I give myself grace about it. We were raised with a dad who didn't though. And some of those things carry over.
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Anita
Drama Llama
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Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Jun 18, 2021 21:01:20 GMT
I'm curious if you ever went through sort of a mid-life crisis or just a very blah time or felt like you were just treading water with your life and what you did about it. I'm at this point atm, I'm 52 in a few weeks and I feel like my life has zero direction. I'm struggling with lack of motivation and have absolutely no clue how to get out of my rut. I do feel like I've just been muddling along this past couple of years. I wish I knew what the answer was. I'm a year younger and going through the same thing. Just no motivation anymore. It doesn't help that I have had some major health issues over the past year and I've put about fifteen covid pounds back on. It's getting harder to exercise thanks to these issues which has always been the way I've dealt with depression. Now that things are opening up, I have planned a few getaways to concentrate on because travel is my happy place. I'm hoping this is just a phase, but it sure has dragged on a mighty long time.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jun 18, 2021 21:16:11 GMT
I have experienced this very thing, this past year or so...since March 2020.
Not really a mid-life crisis, but feeling >> blah, mundane and monotonous. I was going backwards(financially) and it's very frustrating and disheartening. Now I feel like I am stuck in the same spot going nowhere fast. I'm tired. Tired of seeing my hard work and financial efforts slowly dwindle away. I'm tired of being on self imposed spending restriction, but thankful that I have the disipline to do so.
It took me so long to get where I was. To be on a path going forward, and not the continual and proverbial >> one step forward - three(or ten)steps backward. I feel like I was dragged backwards against my will and there was nothing I could do about it. I feel like all I could do was sit and watch it slowly happen.
I was in a funk for awhile. Then I had a talk with myself. I tell myself daily.... Be thankful I had savings to help me, to supplement my income. Be thankful that I did not have to use my credit card and I am still at a $0 balance. I have less than some, and more than others. In 1997 started over again with nothing. In 2010 started over again with what I call half of what I have now. This time 2021, I am "starting again" with so much more than I ever started with before.
Emotionally and mentally, I am struggling with the lack of socialization, not being able to hug, not being able do the things I took for granted (eat out, hang out with friends, etc...).
In reality, I know this too, shall pass. But it's been a year and four months. Some days, it feels like it's never going to change. Logically and realistically I know it will get better. I think all I can do is give my self grace on the rough days. Life isn't perfect. I am not perfect. It is okay to sometimes not be okay.
My word for 2021 is rebuilding. In my mind, I have a plan, but it is going extremely slow. I have found doing the things that I can do, gives me something to focus on. It helps me to not think about or worry about things that I have no control over. Scrapbooking and reading books. Specifically scrapbooking, since 1996 it's been my passion, my therapy, it's something I can immerse myself in. It helps make the rough days and the rough times easier.
I have a plan. Life will get easier. I will rebuild my finances. One day at a time.
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Post by busy on Jun 18, 2021 21:18:25 GMT
You might be surprised by the fact that people who noticeably don't have their shit together also don't share with others all the time about what they are going through. I rarely tell my sister things unless it's big, it can't be kept a secret. My sister has a history of judging me. She always needs to be right. She will shout down everyone. And often when I speak up, I get the you're too sensitive comment. So I often don't speak up about things. I might share what's going on with me like I bought new yarn or my kid got a job. But that doesn't mean I share my thoughts, feelings and opinions either. Ugh, I'm so sorry she's like that. That's awful and not at all the kind of thing I was talking about. That's just plain unkind, not feeling stress from externally imposed pressure and finding it difficult to get support from others.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2021 21:50:02 GMT
Many times. I always called it the worst part of the Rollercoaster and you can't get off. It just spins and spins and spins.
There was nothing I could do. I just had to ride it until I finally got onto the smooth part.
I know that isn't what you were hoping to hear but when medical crap is thrown at you and it is very rare and daily for a year or more, there isn't anything you can do.
I couldn't get away. I couldn't have another person care for ds. I couldn't even get a full night's sleep.
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,854
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Aug 7, 2014 22:09:44 GMT
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Jun 18, 2021 21:57:34 GMT
One more thing to consider when you talk to your sister again is to [gently] ask whether she's had a physical recently, specifically has she had hormones and thyroid levels checked. Those can play havoc if they're out of balance.
Sounds like you've given this a lot of thought and I know you want to do right by your sister. Ultimately she may just need someone to listen and validate whatever she's going through.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Jun 18, 2021 22:13:43 GMT
Yup, feeling it right now. I'm 56 and it's been the case for me since the pandemic hit. I definitely feel like I'm treading water. Some of it is probably because DH retired during our furlough. We were home for 3 months together doing our thing around the house. I've been back to work a year next Tuesday and I feel like I'm just passing time until I retire. It doesn't help that in the past year we really haven't been able to do anything either. I'm glass half full person and find joy in most every day. I've been struggling with finding something to look forward too. I have little motivation. Retirement feels too far away. I feel like I'm wasting time not doing things with DH while we're young enough to do them. I worry he's going to age too much in two years and then retirement will be spent with him unable to do the things we did even five years ago. I get it. She probably needs to vent and just have someone empathize.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2021 22:20:09 GMT
Mid life can be a hard time , menopause changes, elderly care for parents , bereavement , other family health worries. Not sleeping due to hormonal changes . There is a lot of stuff going on in a short period of time .
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jun 18, 2021 22:26:01 GMT
Many times. I always called it the worst part of the Rollercoaster and you can't get off. It just spins and spins and spins. There was nothing I could do. I just had to ride it until I finally got onto the smooth part. This! We've all ridden that proverbial rollercoaster. No matter how tired, how worn out, how over it one is.....sometimes one can't just simply get off the ride. You just hang on tightly until the ride slows down. Even when it feels like you can't hold on, even when there are tears, even when you are weary to the bone, even when you are sleep deprived....even if your hanging on by one finger.....you just somehow manage to hang on.
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Deleted
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Mar 28, 2024 16:11:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2021 22:38:53 GMT
Many times. I always called it the worst part of the Rollercoaster and you can't get off. It just spins and spins and spins. There was nothing I could do. I just had to ride it until I finally got onto the smooth part. This! We've all ridden that proverbial rollercoaster. No matter how tired, how worn out, how over it one is.....sometimes one can't just simply get off the ride. You just hang on tightly until the ride slows down. Even when it feels like you can't hold on, even when there are tears, even when you are weary to the bone, even when you are sleep deprived....even if your hanging on by one finger.....you just somehow manage to hang on. Yup. 100% yup!
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 18, 2021 22:40:55 GMT
One more thing to consider when you talk to your sister again is to [gently] ask whether she's had a physical recently, specifically has she had hormones and thyroid levels checked. Those can play havoc if they're out of balance. Sounds like you've given this a lot of thought and I know you want to do right by your sister. Ultimately she may just need someone to listen and validate whatever she's going through. My sister has several health issues and she takes good care of herself that way. She's on top of things there.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 18, 2021 22:43:08 GMT
Ladies I'm liking your posts not because you're going through this but because I hear you. I hear all of you. Hopefully some of the suggestions on this thread have given you something to think about.
I would also and I suggested it to my sister, suggest the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. I think it is definitely worth reading.
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Post by catmom on Jun 19, 2021 0:06:40 GMT
Ladies I'm liking your posts not because you're going through this but because I hear you. I hear all of you. Hopefully some of the suggestions on this thread have given you something to think about. I would also and I suggested it to my sister, suggest the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. I think it is definitely worth reading. YES! I couldn't agree more, and I would add the authors also do a podcast "Feminist Survival Project". I am not exaggerating when I say that my 2020 sanity is due in large part to that podcast.
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Post by mom on Jun 19, 2021 2:08:29 GMT
but this statement "I also said to her that I think she gets too worked up over very minor things" seems to be minimizing her feelings. They might be minor things to you, but maybe not so minor to her. I have had someone in my life tell me things I thought were worth getting worked up about were not important. Well maybe not to them, but to me they were. I can appreciate your perspective. But there's got to be some sort of line. When you are losing your mind over the way someone puts the toilet paper roll on(not that she did, but this is where it's at) you have to step back and question whether you are letting too many things get to you. Again, I have some pretty big worries and I can see where someone (her or you) might think by this comment I'm being dismissive and I don't want to come across that way, so I'll think about how I can phrase things better. But I totally believe in my heart that there are many things that aren't worth getting worked up over. I'm trying to tread lightly, as best I can because there's an anxiety issue there that I believe some therapy and maybe? some medication would help with that is blowing up this problem. I am going to second the suggestion that possibly her hormones are off. You can be completely 'on top' of them and things go haywire. When I am unbalanced, things like the TP roll (a very minor thing normally) will absolutely set me off. In all honesty, continually losing my shit over minor things is what finally got me to go seek help for my hormones. And the first dr (a man) that I went to see tested me and said my levels were fine. Only after I looked at the results and started researching myself what my levels meant did I realize I needed to find a dr who was listening to me + actually paying attention. My anxiety was over the top, the littlest thing stressed me out. On the outside, I *should* have had the perfect life. No real worries. But on the inside, I was literally drowning in anxiety and unable to control what set me off. I knew I wasn't ok, but didn't know why. It wasn't about me letting things get to me. I could not stop it. It was a constant 24/7 stress over shit that didn't matter. I knew it didn't matter but I couldn't stop the stress.
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