SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,408
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Jun 27, 2021 16:59:49 GMT
We got married around 25, so all our money is shared money. All our accounts are joint.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jun 27, 2021 17:08:53 GMT
Both. But we also have our own accounts and own credit cards.
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rgibson
Full Member
Posts: 467
Apr 26, 2021 22:49:21 GMT
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Post by rgibson on Jun 27, 2021 17:09:19 GMT
Ex and I were married right out of university 35+ years ago and started our family shortly afterwards. He was the only one with a pay cheque but I took care of all the finances and we had everything joint. Luckily though, I had kept one credit card that I was primary card holder on so when we split I had my own card and my own credit rating.
Current dh and I have everything separate although technically I am on his bank accounts. His first wife passed away and there were a few things like utilties that weren't joint and he had a heck of a time sorting it out - she had always done the finances. He didn't want it happening again and so I acquiesced for his peace of mind but I have never used it and I don't think I could even remember the PIN at this point. I don't use his accounts and he doesn't use mine but we do know passwords if we need to access them.
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garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,770
Location: So. Calif.
Jun 25, 2014 23:22:29 GMT
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Post by garcia5050 on Jun 27, 2021 18:00:48 GMT
Together 30 years. Everything separate except for one joint checking for the bills. It works for us, but I believe we are the exception among our friends.
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MrsDepp
Full Member
Refupea #2341
Posts: 477
Jun 30, 2014 18:36:02 GMT
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Post by MrsDepp on Jun 27, 2021 18:09:48 GMT
Both separate and together…. I don’t want to high jack but have some questions about the quote I attached We always had everything joint. Seems to have made it easier when dealing with finances, etc. after he passed away. I now have my daughter on my checking and savings accounts and a "TOD" on my house deed with her name on it. Just an FYI, also having both names on utilities bills makes things a lot easier if one spouse passes away.
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Post by huskermom98 on Jun 27, 2021 18:19:57 GMT
We've had joint checking & savings ever since we got married 23 years ago. He earns the bulk of our income & I spend the bulk of our income because I take care of the bills, shopping, etc. We are both on every bill. I have my own credit card that he is not on, but I am on "his" credit card although I rarely use it.
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Post by 5peanutsnana on Jun 27, 2021 18:52:36 GMT
Joint everything for 54 years. I have married friends who get a weekly "allowance".
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,641
Jun 26, 2014 14:35:07 GMT
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Post by janeliz on Jun 27, 2021 19:07:29 GMT
We share a checking account with our credit union. I pay all of the bills out of that.
Separate savings accounts. Separate credit cards.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 9:33:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2021 19:10:13 GMT
We have both but the individual ones are for our own personal spending money really. As someone up thread mentioned neither of us want to track what each of us bought as a present - Christmas or birthday to the other. Everything else comes from the join account. Savings accounts are joint.
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Post by katlady on Jun 27, 2021 19:35:14 GMT
Both separate and together…. I don’t want to high jack but have some questions about the quote I attached Just an FYI, also having both names on utilities bills makes things a lot easier if one spouse passes away. Several reasons. Some utilities will only talk to the person on the account. Some will require a death certificate if you want to change names. Some will charge you a deposit if you have no record of ever having an account with them.
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Post by dewryce on Jun 27, 2021 20:02:14 GMT
All of our bank accounts are joint accounts, IIRC they have been since before we got married in our early 20s. We learned our limits with credit cards back then as well, so we don’t have any. I don’t think we’ve had any since the 90s.
A definite con is buying surprises for the other from obvious merchants, like his favorite triathlon stores or my favorite jewelry store. We give each other a heads-up to not look at the account for a little bit. Way back before online banking became so easy, before we got in sync with our spending habits, and money was a lot tighter, it was a pain to always keep the other abreast of our spending, especially unexpected spending.
I think the biggest pro for us is simplicity. Less accounts to keep track of, no need to make transfers, always knowing what account something was paid out of.
When following a budget, especially for entertainment and personal spending, I can see a benefit for individual accounts. And having read so many posts here over the years of divorces and money issues, I know there is a good argument to be made for having independent financial accounts.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jun 27, 2021 20:02:31 GMT
I have all the money. All of our accounts are joint but he has no idea where the money is. He hates accounting. About twice a year I show him the totals and which banks but he just couldn't care less. I keep him stocked with pocket cash and if he wants to buy something he has his credit card. Works for me. I had only known him for a year when he gave me ten thousand dollars, that he'd been carrying around in his pocket, so I could put it in a bank account. He just learned how to use an ATM a few years ago after he retired.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,255
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jun 27, 2021 20:07:38 GMT
My husband and I were in our 40s when we got married. We set up a joint "house" account that we both deposited money into every month. We each had separate checking and savings accounts and we kept our credit cards separate.
We paid many house expenses, like the mortgage, the insurance, water bill, etc., from the joint account. We adjusted how much each of us put into the joint checking as circumstances changed. We each paid other bills out of our own checking accounts - like I paid gas and electric, cable/satellite/internet, he paid cell phone and life insurance. We each paid for our own cars and car insurance.
Now I have both checking accounts in only my name and I closed his checking and savings. I had to get a cell phone account in my name when I finally turned in his phone. If I need a death certificate to change anything else at some point, I have several copies available.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,583
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Jun 27, 2021 20:42:35 GMT
Wow, y'all made me realize I have no idea which credit cards are "his" and which are "mine" - we both spend freely on all of them, and we pay them out of a joint account. I wonder how his credit is (I know my own)!
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Post by supersoda on Jun 27, 2021 20:43:44 GMT
We got married, DH was 19, I was 20, we had nothing so we have joint everything. For 38 years. It works for us. I do all the financial stuff and it works for us. This except we’ve only been married 25 years. We were so young when we were married we’ve built everything together. If I were to marry now, older, set in my ways, and with a good income, , I think it would be a different story.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 27, 2021 20:50:35 GMT
Joint everything. I deal with all the finances and investing and it is just easier if it is all joint. I joke that he makes the money and I spend it (on bills). We got married in our early 20s so didn't have too much of our own and joint everything just made sense and was easier. He likes not having to deal with and worry about bills or calling companies. He is not a big spender at all so it isn't hard for me to keep track of expenses made by him. I am also the main contact for our investment accounts and our mortgage. He just shows up to sign papers. We are close with his boss and even he will ask dh to ask me about something like what our mortgage rate is when we refinanced and he was looking to do the same. It works for us. But I totally can understand why people who get married later, have significant differences in spending habits, have large debt, large on going expenses or different relationships with money may choose to keep seperate finances. Each couple needs to what is right for them. Ditto. 30+ years ago, online banking wasn’t a thing and it wasn’t as easy to manage. Some couples maintained separate finances, but all the ones that I knew who did that merged their accounts after a few years. Over the years, we’ve had a deal where we consult each other for purchases over X amount of dollars. We also had a set amount of fun money that we could spend as frivolously as we wished. Over the years, it’s sort of dropped by the wayside as DH’s income has grown and our expenses have diminished. We still spend way too much on travel, but we’re only in Europe for another year or so and want to make the most out of that.
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,262
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Jun 27, 2021 20:58:06 GMT
Do you and you spouse have joint bank accounts or joint credit cards? We both had our own accounts before marriage and have never felt a need to have joint ones as well. Pros and cons of either choice? We started with joint accounts. After I went back to work, we started separate accounts. We are on each other's accounts, but I have no access to his and he has no access to mine. I have my own credit card. He has his. Once again, we are on each other's accounts, but I don't use his and he doesn't use mine. We are each responsible for our own share of household expenses. It works well for us.
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melissa
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,912
Jun 25, 2014 20:45:00 GMT
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Post by melissa on Jun 27, 2021 21:05:20 GMT
Married for 28 years. Mostly joint accounts. He manages our finances, including any account I have on my own.
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Post by tommygirl on Jun 27, 2021 21:23:12 GMT
Joint everything. Married 26 years. Dh manages our finances. (I used to handle all of the finances, but it was overwhelming. So it is a gift that he does it.) He also by far has been the primary breadwinner. We make decisions about money jointly.
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,899
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
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Post by tracylynn on Jun 27, 2021 21:27:45 GMT
My parents, married for 47 years almost, all combined. My Dad could care less. Before they were married he handed her his bills and paychecks and asked her to handle it. She has ever since.
If I married young, I would have too!! But in my 40's, nope.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,147
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Jun 27, 2021 22:07:00 GMT
Totally separate. We got married in our 30s, we both had property of our own and it seemed easier to keep things separate. It works for us.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Jun 27, 2021 22:15:25 GMT
the first couple of years, separate everything. by the time we were married, had our first kid and i was home on mat leave, it just made sense to have joint accounts if i was paying all the bills, collecting receipts and forms for taxes etc. we also had joint visa and amex.
i did insist that phone/cable/internet be in my name and kept my own credit card that i had prior to being married. i put small charges on cc every month or two and paid it off immediately. it was important to me to build and maintain my own credit rating, separate from him because i was home with the kids for so long so i was considering "supplementary" card holder for both credit cards.
turned out to be a good idea. we split 3 years ago and when trying to rent a place i had an excellent credit rating for potential landlords and because phone/internet was in my name, i was able to carry the account over (and the attached loyalty pricing) and he had to create a new one. i was also the first one to call the insurance company to split the account - so again, i got the original account and he had to create new one (not sure if he negotiated same discount for no accidents/claims in 25 years).
i would encourage *anyone* to maintain their own credit separate from a spouse. if you don't need it - great - but if you do - sucks if you don't have it.
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Post by cakediva on Jun 27, 2021 22:25:41 GMT
We’ve only ever had joint accounts. We have our own credit cards but bank is all one. I was a SAHM for quite a few years so it was easier for us to both be on the account. I do all the banking & bill paying (if DH did it we’d be out on the street lol) so I need full access.
My business account is separate, technically his name is on the account (I still use a personal account for my business) but he never uses it. I use it for the business and extras/house stuff, plus chip in for bills as I need to.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,082
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Jun 27, 2021 22:36:08 GMT
We have separate everything... but we were both married before and brought financial baggage into our new relationship...
Its gonna suck for both of us if either dies...
I told him grab my debits n withdraw as much as you can from each account until you have to prove im dead... lol
Not really funny but pretty much how it will play out
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Post by natscraps on Jun 27, 2021 23:12:35 GMT
We have separate everything... but we were both married before and brought financial baggage into our new relationship... Its gonna suck for both of us if either dies... I told him grab my debits n withdraw as much as you can from each account until you have to prove im dead... lol Not really funny but pretty much how it will play out You can set up your bank accounts to transfer on death. We’ve been together 23 years, married 15. We started out with both but I got rid of my individual checking about 12 years ago. I just didn’t need it. Now we have joint checking and savings. Separate credit cards. Separate retirement savings but that’s because mine are all inherited IRAs.
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Post by papersilly on Jun 28, 2021 1:37:59 GMT
We have joint accounts but have always used them individually.
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Post by 950nancy on Jun 28, 2021 3:33:07 GMT
I was married at 21 and had very little to my name. Husband even less if you consider student loans. For us it made sense to have joint accounts. We've always done it that way. I manage the day to day bills and he manages the investments and we both know basics about what the other one does.
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Post by 950nancy on Jun 28, 2021 3:34:59 GMT
I have all the money. All of our accounts are joint but he has no idea where the money is. He hates accounting. About twice a year I show him the totals and which banks but he just couldn't care less. I keep him stocked with pocket cash and if he wants to buy something he has his credit card. Works for me. I had only known him for a year when he gave me ten thousand dollars, that he'd been carrying around in his pocket, so I could put it in a bank account. He just learned how to use an ATM a few years ago after he retired. The man is lucky to have you!
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Post by 950nancy on Jun 28, 2021 3:37:59 GMT
the first couple of years, separate everything. by the time we were married, had our first kid and i was home on mat leave, it just made sense to have joint accounts if i was paying all the bills, collecting receipts and forms for taxes etc. we also had joint visa and amex. i did insist that phone/cable/internet be in my name and kept my own credit card that i had prior to being married. i put small charges on cc every month or two and paid it off immediately. it was important to me to build and maintain my own credit rating, separate from him because i was home with the kids for so long so i was considering "supplementary" card holder for both credit cards. turned out to be a good idea. we split 3 years ago and when trying to rent a place i had an excellent credit rating for potential landlords and because phone/internet was in my name, i was able to carry the account over (and the attached loyalty pricing) and he had to create a new one. i was also the first one to call the insurance company to split the account - so again, i got the original account and he had to create new one (not sure if he negotiated same discount for no accidents/claims in 25 years). i would encourage *anyone* to maintain their own credit separate from a spouse. if you don't need it - great - but if you do - sucks if you don't have it. I have my same credit card from when I was 18. When we got married, he had some local bills in his name only since I didn't move out here until 6 months after he did. He never understood why I thought I needed my name on them too.
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Post by femalebusiness on Jun 28, 2021 3:43:06 GMT
I have all the money. All of our accounts are joint but he has no idea where the money is. He hates accounting. About twice a year I show him the totals and which banks but he just couldn't care less. I keep him stocked with pocket cash and if he wants to buy something he has his credit card. Works for me. I had only known him for a year when he gave me ten thousand dollars, that he'd been carrying around in his pocket, so I could put it in a bank account. He just learned how to use an ATM a few years ago after he retired. The man is lucky to have you! And I am REALLY lucky to have him.
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