Peas of children who have transitioned, I have a question

Are there any LGBTQ+/Equality groups or centers in her area. They will have plenty of connections to get them started as well as probably some groups meeting themselves. .
And yes, even in past tense, you should refer to her as she/her if that is her chosen pronoun.

Is she in Texas?

Our transgender son had already been in counseling for about a year before he came out as transgender (prior to that he only identified as gay). We started with our pediatrician who gave us a list of names of those in our area who specialized in adolescent counseling, and from there we found a psychologist who primarily works with LGBTQ teens. We were just very fortunate to find her. Our son has been going to her for about three years, and part of his endocrinologist’s requirements for continued hormone therapy is that he stay in counseling.

If we were still in Texas I would likely first inquire about counseling with my child’s pediatrician, but I would also reach out to any local LGBTQ groups and see if they have recommendations for therapists in the area.

We, now, use male pronouns whenever we we talk to or about our son, past or present. But that can be a difficult transition for family and friends at first. He also once asked me to get rid of all the photos I had of him before he came out, but I told him I wouldn’t do that. I don’t display them but they are memories I and his father choose to keep. I think he understands that better now.

Thank you for being such a good, supportive friend!

ETA: I’m part of the Serendipitydodah group on Facebook and they have lots of support and resources for moms and families of LGBTQ kids.

I have often wondered about this.  He was in my Girl Scout troop from grade school through high school.  I have scrapbooks of all of our troop activities, hikes, camping, etc. and occasionally (1-2 times a year) will post a "remember when" photo on Facebook (these "kids" are all in their mid-late 20's) which are always met with laughs and fun comments.  I've been careful not to post anything with him in it but it makes me feel weird though because I don't know if I'm being sensitive to him to not want his old life posted or am I being insensitive by not including him in the picture?  Hmmm.....

My son now daughter received a referral from the mental hospital after a suicide attempt. So that's how we found a therapist who specializes in gender dysphoria.

My DD is transitioning now. She has been taking hormones for about 6 months. She is still wanting us to call her he/him and by birth name. She isn't ready to tell the rest of the family yet but her body is starting to change. I just don't quite know what to do. I know from everything I've read and my own therapist that using correct pronouns and name is supposed to lower suicide risk. I want to be supportive but I'm not quite sure what to do because I don't want to push.

I know she has chosen the name Esther. I know that all during her hospital stays she asked the doctors and nurses and other health professionals to refer to her by that name and as she. So I know she's convicted that that's who she is.

I don't mean to hijack this thread but has anyone else experienced this?

If a specific situation comes up---like putting together old photos from earlier years of scouts, school, etc. as mentioned above, I definitely suggest just asking the individual. Since I do still scrapbook sometimes, and I'm decades behind, when that sort of question came up I privately asked the person in my life and they were very happy to be asked.

Re: photos.

It’s a reminder to the person transitioning of a person they never were.

I participate in a group (I’m an ally) and listen to so many stories of those who have/are transitioning seeing photos of themselves before physically changing, that they feels as though they are looking at a stranger. It’s not them and they do not see them as “memories” to many it’s a reminder of a life of struggles, angst, depression…

My relative HATES (to the point of anger/tears/trauma) to see photos of himself before (as a girl) absolutely hates it.

Which is why I don’t have any pre-transition photos of my son displayed anywhere in our home or on social media. I don’t even have group family photos from years past on display. I do still keep all those photos and the memories that go with them for myself though. It’s not like my son as a human being and my child just magically appeared at 14, even though that was a form of rebirth for him. I have 14 years worth of photos (including many scrapbook pages) that are valuable to me, but I never show them to him. It’s difficult because he has three other siblings who are also in many of those photos I value and would like to display, but I try to respect his wishes

I’ll admit it is bittersweet for me to look at those pre-transition photos when I knew him as my daughter, but keeping them for myself doesn’t mean I don’t fully support and love my son as my son.

Hijack from me. What happens with official (medical/tax/legal) references to names? Are they still required/allowed to use the new name/pronoun? Do they have to change their name/pronoun legally somewhere?

(I've been known by a shortened version of my given name for my whole life. Even though there is an option on my GP's medical record for "chosen name", ALL my medical calls and letters address me by my full given name, even when I ask them "please call me R" twice every conversation. On the other hand, it helps me to feel that all this cancer stuff is happening to a different me from the normal me.)

That is everything I hate about religion in a nutshell. I doubt they have this reaction to the problems of poverty or other things Jesus railed about. But when it comes to genitalia or sexuality suddenly they all care very much what God thinks, or supposedly thinks. 

My husband of almost 15 years has recently come out as being transgender. My husband is now my wife. She is 50 yo, so obviously in a very different phase of life as those with children/young adults going through this now. She is very much "out" to everyone we care about in our life - and has made the transition on social media for anyone else to see.

I think a lot of people are confused by gender and sexuality as if they are one and the same; when they are most certainly NOT. We have both been asked questions like "does that mean you like men now?" "does that make you a lesbian?", etc.

I think it's a very personal decision in regards to dead names and old photos, etc. My wife has no desire to "erase" her old name and photos - she feels it is still her history, even if she was not her correct gender at the time. Her son still calls her "dad". Our two cats are still being told "dad" for her and me as "mom", etc. She has a new name and new pronouns, even if her physical body doesn't currently reflect "her". It might someday.

We were able to find several therapists specializing in gender issues through the local LGBTQ centers, so she is working with one to help her through this transition. I know I would benefit from it as well, but I'm not quite there yet.

I don't view what my wife is doing as a transition, but more of an alignment. She's becoming more of who she's always been.

If anyone wants to message me privately, please feel free to do so. I'm also happy to converse in "public", too. 

Ryann, alignment is a lovely term!

I only know two people, an old high school friend and a not-super-close friend's child (now adult). I haven't had to grapple with this up close and personal. Because of that I appreciate threads like this for insight and education. Thank you for sharing, you're helping make the world a smarter and I hope kinder place.