Post by browneyes87 on Aug 29, 2021 3:57:53 GMT
Hi
I’m a 34 year old female. I know this is long but I would like some opinions because I feel like I can’t trust my own mother and it hurts me.
Ever since I started being in serious relationships, my mom has this habit of treating all my boyfriends like sons right away from the beginning instead of getting to really know them. It’s like they don’t even have to try hard to gain her trust because they win her over immediately.
I was married before but I divorced in 2018. I have no children. My mom was super close to my ex until one day I confided with her my marriage problems. I told her my ex was extremely frugal to the point that I had to ask permission to buy anything even if I was working and making my own money. He went as far as not turning the A/C during summer and I was sweating of how hot it was but my mom would still be nice and friendly to him whenever she saw him even if she knew how he treated me. Sometimes I would feel ignored in my own house because my mom would chat a lot with my ex and it seemed like she was visiting him instead of me. It felt like HE was her son instead of me.
Now I’m in a new relationship and my boyfriend was nice at the beginning but guess what? He turned out to be 10 times worst than my ex. I tried not telling my mom our problems and kept them to myself because I know its not healthy until one point I had to because I feel like I always end up in abusive relationships. I told her my boyfriend gets mad over small things and that he’s been taking advantage of me by letting his friends sleep over at my apartment even though I’m not allowed to have guests and I almost got evicted because of him. He was even rude to the landlord one time. And my mom admitted he was abusive.
She acted like she was on my side but after she saw him she ignored everything I told her and went back to being the sweet mother in law she’s always been. Like my boyfriend can do no wrong! She worries about him, constantly asks about him, compliments him, and recently told me she wants to get him a birthday gift. Little does she know that my boyfriend didn’t give me anything on my birthday and ignored me!!! Even if I told her, she would probably ignore it.
The worst thing is that I told her that he is not vaccinated yet. My mom thinks everyone is ignorant and she insults everyone that doesn’t get the Covid vaccine calling them “selfish”. When I told her my boyfriend is careless about his health and the vaccine she said: “oh but I don’t think he even has to worry”. So everyone is bad and selfish except him. He’s an angel then. I just don’t feel comfortable telling her my problems anymore. Instead of worrying about my well being, she worries about being best buddies with him even if she knows he’s not always good to me. I’m not saying she has to be rude and mean but why worry so much about a stranger? I’m her daughter and I need her! Is this normal or I’m overreacting?
I’m a 34 year old female. I know this is long but I would like some opinions because I feel like I can’t trust my own mother and it hurts me.
Ever since I started being in serious relationships, my mom has this habit of treating all my boyfriends like sons right away from the beginning instead of getting to really know them. It’s like they don’t even have to try hard to gain her trust because they win her over immediately.
I was married before but I divorced in 2018. I have no children. My mom was super close to my ex until one day I confided with her my marriage problems. I told her my ex was extremely frugal to the point that I had to ask permission to buy anything even if I was working and making my own money. He went as far as not turning the A/C during summer and I was sweating of how hot it was but my mom would still be nice and friendly to him whenever she saw him even if she knew how he treated me. Sometimes I would feel ignored in my own house because my mom would chat a lot with my ex and it seemed like she was visiting him instead of me. It felt like HE was her son instead of me.
Now I’m in a new relationship and my boyfriend was nice at the beginning but guess what? He turned out to be 10 times worst than my ex. I tried not telling my mom our problems and kept them to myself because I know its not healthy until one point I had to because I feel like I always end up in abusive relationships. I told her my boyfriend gets mad over small things and that he’s been taking advantage of me by letting his friends sleep over at my apartment even though I’m not allowed to have guests and I almost got evicted because of him. He was even rude to the landlord one time. And my mom admitted he was abusive.
She acted like she was on my side but after she saw him she ignored everything I told her and went back to being the sweet mother in law she’s always been. Like my boyfriend can do no wrong! She worries about him, constantly asks about him, compliments him, and recently told me she wants to get him a birthday gift. Little does she know that my boyfriend didn’t give me anything on my birthday and ignored me!!! Even if I told her, she would probably ignore it.
The worst thing is that I told her that he is not vaccinated yet. My mom thinks everyone is ignorant and she insults everyone that doesn’t get the Covid vaccine calling them “selfish”. When I told her my boyfriend is careless about his health and the vaccine she said: “oh but I don’t think he even has to worry”. So everyone is bad and selfish except him. He’s an angel then. I just don’t feel comfortable telling her my problems anymore. Instead of worrying about my well being, she worries about being best buddies with him even if she knows he’s not always good to me. I’m not saying she has to be rude and mean but why worry so much about a stranger? I’m her daughter and I need her! Is this normal or I’m overreacting?
