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Post by waffles on Sept 20, 2021 2:26:28 GMT
So we were at a ballgame on Saturday. Right behind me is a family restroom. There is a man in a wheelchair who is waiting to go next. They say they have waited a long time so they leave to find another bathroom he can use. After another 30 minutes the man comes back, almost in tears. He is so miserable and couldn’t get to another bathroom. It’s been an hour and a half. Finally a security guard comes around and has to beat on the door to see what is going on. A woman comes out saying she was breast feeding. The security guard explained what was going on and if she couldn’t come out for 5 minutes to help. She stood at the door arguing with him. She told them she didn’t care if someone else needed to use it. Man in wheelchair and security man give up and leave. 30 minutes later, after 2 hours in there she comes out.
I wasn’t able to breastfeed and don’t know how long it takes. So what say the peas, was she right to defend the time it took or was she in the wrong not waiting for a few minutes for the man in the wheelchair crying to use the bathroom?
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Post by bc2ca on Sept 20, 2021 2:36:41 GMT
So we were at a ballgame on Saturday. Right behind me is a family restroom. There is a man in a wheelchair who is waiting to go next. They say they have waited a long time so they leave to find another bathroom he can use. After another 30 minutes the man comes back, almost in tears. He is so miserable and couldn’t get to another bathroom. It’s been an hour and a half. Finally a security guard comes around and has to beat on the door to see what is going on. A woman comes out saying she was breast feeding. The security guard explained what was going on and if she couldn’t come out for 5 minutes to help. She stood at the door arguing with him. She told them she didn’t care if someone else needed to use it. Man in wheelchair and security man give up and leave. 30 minutes later, after 2 hours in there she comes out. I wasn’t able to breastfeed and don’t know how long it takes. So what say the peas, was she right to defend the time it took or was she in the wrong not waiting for a few minutes for the man in the wheelchair crying to use the bathroom? My thoughts: A family restroom is not a handicapped restroom. Nobody should be monopolizing a public restroom for two hours.
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Post by laurasw on Sept 20, 2021 2:38:14 GMT
Wow, I would feel terrible if I was her and was making someone in a wheelchair wait so long. I feel like she could have taken a break to let him use the restroom and then she could resume if she needed to. Also, can't believe she would even attend a ballgame if she knew she might have to breastfeed for so long and miss the game anyway.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Sept 20, 2021 2:40:44 GMT
I wouldn’t be comfortable feeding my baby in a bathroom. Was it a nice one with a chair? Or just a single toilet/sink? Selfish of her tho eta I nursed my babies. At first it wasn’t natural and took a while. I could do both sides in 30 min tho when we hit the hang of it
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Post by jenjie on Sept 20, 2021 2:40:57 GMT
Disclaimer: I was a mom who breastfed all 3 of my children and never in a restroom.
2 hours is inconsiderate. She should have brought a blanket and fed the baby in her seat. That poor man. I might be inclined to escort her from the premises or ban her for the rest of the season, although that would probably do nothing but get me bad press.
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Post by Linda on Sept 20, 2021 2:43:25 GMT
I've breastfed a combined total of 10 years - I can NOT imagine spending an hour, never mind two, breastfeeding. Nor can I imagine breastfeeding in a restroom stall, family or otherwise. A breastfeeding space? sure. The toilets? NO.
I'll agree that family restrooms are not restricted to the disabled but one should be conscious that others may need to use them (as with any other public restroom) and take care of matters quickly and efficiently as possible. No one should monopolise a public restroom for one, never mind two hours.
My heart breaks for that gentleman
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Post by katlaw on Sept 20, 2021 2:43:35 GMT
She is selfish and exactly what is wrong with the world right now. It is all about me and what I want and too bad about anyone else's needs.
I have breastfed 3 children. Bring a blanket to cover yourself. Go sit in your car. Or go home. Because if you are sitting in the washroom for 2 hours you are sure not enjoying the ballgame. There are lots of excuses she could come up with but the fact that she was asked to share a public space, she was told someone else is in distress and she still refused just makes me think what a bitch
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Post by myshelly on Sept 20, 2021 2:46:04 GMT
I breastfed 3 kids and never once did it in a bathroom. That’s just gross.
I would (and have) just sat in my seat and fed my kid.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Sept 20, 2021 2:56:52 GMT
First of all, it doesn’t take two hours to breastfeed. Especially if you are in a public bathroom and not just sitting on your couch leisurely cuddling your baby.
Second, i think she was in the wrong to stay in the bathroom that long. I wouldn’t have fed the baby in there in the first place (where to sit? Knowing others are going to need the bathroom?). I would have either gone to my car, fed the baby where I was sitting, or found some other quiet spot out of the way if possible.
Third, if I knew someone else really needed to get in I would for sure leave.
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 20, 2021 2:59:34 GMT
Sometimes people in a wheelchair have issues that make it necessary to go right away. They don't always have that control. She was just rude. That's ludicrous. Take a pullover that will hide the goods and breastfeed in your seat. She is obnoxious.
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Post by myshelly on Sept 20, 2021 3:02:11 GMT
I also want to say, and this is painful because it brings up bad memories, but I have been in that poor man’s position before.
My mom was confined to a wheelchair for the last few years of her life. On the rare occasion she felt well enough to go out, we had to rely on family restrooms.
Handicap stalls are almost never big enough to accommodate a wheelchair and a helper/aide. Family restrooms are literally the only option for someone who needs assistance.
I did, on more than one occasion, knock on a family bathroom after waiting for 20 minutes or more, with my mom in tears because the outing was going to be ruined and there was no other way for me to help her. It was inevitably some mom trying to make her potty training toddler sit on the toilet until they went.
When you’re in public, you can’t monopolize things that are meant for everyone to share. A little kindness goes a long way.
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 20, 2021 3:08:33 GMT
I breast fed all three of my kids and would have easily just done it discretely in my seat. It’s easy to do. And it doesn’t take 2 hours that’s ridiculous
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Post by Skellinton on Sept 20, 2021 3:14:28 GMT
She was a bitch. No one should monopolize a public restroom for that long. She could have easily breast fed somewhere else. Shame on her and I hope karma catches up to her ten times over.
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,379
Location: PNW
Jul 20, 2014 21:57:23 GMT
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Post by breetheflea on Sept 20, 2021 3:24:27 GMT
I have breastfed four kids. It did not ever take two hours, and if it did I'd probably have given up instead of spending four years of my life with a baby attached to my boob half the day.
Did the lady ever come out, and did she actually have a baby with her?
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 20, 2021 3:26:46 GMT
That woman was rude and inconsiderate. I wouldn’t breastfeed or even pump in a bathroom any more than I would sit down and eat a meal myself in one. Ew, gross.
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Post by waffles on Sept 20, 2021 3:40:40 GMT
So the bathroom had 1 toilet, 1 sink, and 1 metal folding chair. When she finally came out I may or may not have said “If it takes that long to breastfeed, she might consider staying home.”
She told me the same thing she told the others. “I don’t care.”
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Post by Skellinton on Sept 20, 2021 3:56:54 GMT
So the bathroom had 1 toilet, 1 sink, and 1 metal folding chair. When she finally came out I may or may not have said “If it takes that long to breastfeed, she might consider staying home.” She told me the same thing she told the others. “I don’t care.” I hate her.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 20, 2021 3:59:22 GMT
It sound like she might have been breastfeeding at first and then just got on her phone and was avoiding the game. It seems excessive.
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Post by supersoda on Sept 20, 2021 4:04:21 GMT
My thoughts: A family restroom is not a handicapped restroom. I have to disagree with this statement. Family restrooms provide extra room and a space for mixed genders--exactly what a handicapped person who needs assistance might need. I don't think the concept of a family restroom is exclusive to parents with small children. And a wheelchair-bound person may have a lot of trouble manauvering in many handicapped stalls. Typical handicapped stalls are built to accommodate someone who has trouble moving, sitting, etc. and don't offer enough space for two adults when someone needs aid transitioning from a wheelchair or emptying a bag. To the OP, the woman was 100% wrong for many reasons. It's just jerky to monopolize a public space for that length of time. It's beyond jerky to continue to do so when you know someone neds that space. There are plenty of places you can breastfeed a kid--not so much for using the restroom. It shouldn't take anywhere near that long, and breastfeeding in a public restroom is just gross. This situation just enrages me. Why make someone's already challenging life even more challenging?
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,797
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 20, 2021 4:33:02 GMT
I breast fed both of my kids. It does NOT take more than 30 min ever! And half of the free world saw my boob when I nursed if they looked close enough. It can ge done discretely. I nursed many times sitting at the table in restaurants eating a meal. I rarely used a blanket to cover myself/kid.
That woman is a self entitled bitch.
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Post by padresfan619 on Sept 20, 2021 4:49:49 GMT
I’m currently breastfeeding my six month old and the last place I would feed him would be a public restroom. My son is an efficient eater and can finish a feed in about 10 minutes, but even when he was the sleepiest little newborn it didn’t take us two hours to complete one feed.
Most breastfeeding/pumping/formula feeding moms I know also get very irritated with the lack of decent feeding facilities in public. One of the only places I know with a specific caregiver and baby room in public is our baseball stadium. And if I were looking for a place to feed my son at a large event like that I’d sooner go to the medical tent.
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Post by Lexica on Sept 20, 2021 5:15:51 GMT
I never nursed in a bathroom. Heck, I don't even like peeing in them. I typically just took my son to the car or sat on a bench in the shade to nurse him. I was usually with my mom and we would grab a drink and head out to the car, roll the windows down and have a nice chat while my son nursed. It was never more than 30 minutes before he was full and falling asleep.
I don't believe that woman was nursing the whole time. I think she didn't want to watch the game and was on her phone or iPad just being selfish. I feel sorry for that baby, being raised by a woman like that. There is no way I would sit in a public toilet that long no matter what. It is gross.
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Post by lucyg on Sept 20, 2021 6:27:37 GMT
So we were at a ballgame on Saturday. Right behind me is a family restroom. There is a man in a wheelchair who is waiting to go next. They say they have waited a long time so they leave to find another bathroom he can use. After another 30 minutes the man comes back, almost in tears. He is so miserable and couldn’t get to another bathroom. It’s been an hour and a half. Finally a security guard comes around and has to beat on the door to see what is going on. A woman comes out saying she was breast feeding. The security guard explained what was going on and if she couldn’t come out for 5 minutes to help. She stood at the door arguing with him. She told them she didn’t care if someone else needed to use it. Man in wheelchair and security man give up and leave. 30 minutes later, after 2 hours in there she comes out. I wasn’t able to breastfeed and don’t know how long it takes. So what say the peas, was she right to defend the time it took or was she in the wrong not waiting for a few minutes for the man in the wheelchair crying to use the bathroom? My thoughts: A family restroom is not a handicapped restroom. Nobody should be monopolizing a public restroom for two hours. A family restroom is for anyone who might need it. And apparently it was the only handicapped-accessible bathroom in the ball park. I do think it’s incredibly rude and selfish to monopolize any public restroom for two hours, for any reason. Especially once she was aware that someone else needed it.
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Post by malibou on Sept 20, 2021 8:50:18 GMT
She's a bitch.
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Post by mollycoddle on Sept 20, 2021 10:55:15 GMT
She hogged a public restroom for 2 hours? She is n inconsiderate jerk.
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Post by disneypal on Sept 20, 2021 10:59:12 GMT
was she right to defend the time it took or was she in the wrong not waiting for a few minutes for the man in the wheelchair crying to use the bathroom? She was wrong - 2 hours is far too long to claim a public bathroom as your own. Did she not have a car she could have gone to? That was very rude and inconsiderate, especially knowing that someone really needed to use the bathroom
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Post by mikklynn on Sept 20, 2021 11:06:37 GMT
She was incredibly rude.
A family restroom is often the most handicapped accessible. DH and I have had to use them so I can help him. I have also helped my dad, who can't go alone. I can hardly take them into the mens room or ladies room!
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Sept 20, 2021 11:10:20 GMT
Monopolizing a bathroom in a public space is egregious behavior. Denying the man in the wheelchair reasonable access and repeatedly saying she didn’t care that she was doing it… makes her a truly terrible person.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,684
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Sept 20, 2021 11:11:37 GMT
No doubt she’s incredibly rude and a total bitch.
But am I the only one surprised that a ballpark only has 1 handicap/family bathroom? I guess I’m assuming we’re talking minor/major league and not little league.
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Post by Basket1lady on Sept 20, 2021 11:11:46 GMT
Two hours? That’s nuts. My youngest is 22 now. Even back then, there were other choices for where to feed baby. Not once did I EVER choose a restroom, much less a public restroom. So,etching else was happening in that restroom, but it wasn’t 2 hours of breastfeeding.
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