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Post by gar on Dec 8, 2014 16:32:59 GMT
Good for you!! She sound delightful
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,984
Jun 25, 2014 20:53:57 GMT
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Post by blue tulip on Dec 8, 2014 16:55:02 GMT
Good job on standing up to her and sticking to your day! we've often done things before or after Christmas, sometimes a couple weeks out. it's not a big deal. I can't believe the nerve of someone to call you up and TELL YOU when you were hosting an event. SMH
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Post by Basket1lady on Dec 8, 2014 17:11:10 GMT
Good for you for standing up for yourself!
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Post by scrapsuzy on Dec 8, 2014 17:56:01 GMT
I'm flexible on when we celebrate, but my mother is not. My mil/sil set a time (2:00 on Christmas Day) without considering anyone's schedule but their own, and so I told my mother she can either work around that, or not, depending on if she wants us to be there, or not. She chose 5:00 on Christmas Day. I have told my kids who have other families to take into account (both of my older kids are married) that they should not feel obligated or pressured to do everything/be everywhere. My dh and I will get together with just our kids and their families on the day after Christmas, which makes me much less concerned with whether I see them on Christmas Day itself.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 8, 2014 18:34:01 GMT
We do cmas every other yr with my family, and the other yr with dh's. This started when my SIL joined the family. It's ok, but we all had to change when we celebrated cmas to what HER family did. Vs what we had been doing for yrs. It was sort of off putting. Now that we do it, I don't mind it. The yr that we don't do cmas with my family we still celebrate it with them, but usually new yrs eve wkend, or the next. I sort of wish we would just skip the getting together, because we don't do it with dh's family when we don't do cmas with them, because I would have never have asked them to switch their cmas's. It just makes a long drawn out affair the yr we don't do it with my family.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 4, 2024 10:11:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2014 18:41:56 GMT
So glad to hear you stood up for yourself. Its hard...but its about time someone told that selfish wench NO!
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Post by drawkcab on Dec 8, 2014 21:15:45 GMT
Thank you all for your confirmation that I wasn't wrong. I don't have to be right. My SO is so non confrontational and lets things "just roll off his shoulders" as he calls it. For us, that works great. We don't fight and rarely even disagree on things. I've let him know that he has to deal with anything else with his sister. She actually said she wanted to host Christmas this year and then sent the text to confirm I was when she realized she didn't have time. Excuse me.
cindyupnorth - I'm relatively new to his family and have tried not to step on any toes. Since you've dealt with something like this, do you have any suggestions on what would make or would have made it better for you? I've been thinking of doing an alternating thing, like you mentioned. I'd do 3 though - his family, my family (who live far away and I haven't seen at the holidays in 15 years) and a trip for just the two of us. In this case with her telling us we were hosting it really wouldn't have helped though since we are working the day she wanted.
Stronger back bone, caring less of what other think about me, and grace.... I'm trying!
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Post by genny on Dec 8, 2014 21:40:24 GMT
If you have to work, what more can you do? Do it on the 26th as you stated in your update - and don't let her give you any crap about it! She sounds like a jewel! Our parents are divorced so for many years now we have had to have separate Christmas celebrations, add in my inlaws, my sisters in laws, my brothers in laws and who ever MIGHT be coming to town that year - we've always had to be flexible with one another. We've done it as early as a week before Christmas and as late as a week after. A little off topic but: When I was a kid we ALWAYS traveled down to South Ga to be with my mom's family on Christmas Eve, so Santa came to our house on Christmas Eve eve. We opened presents Christmas Eve morning, packed up and drove down south so we could be with our extended family for Christmas morning and a HUGE dinner. It never even occurred to any of us kids that something might be wrong with that LOL. I can remember me and my cousins trying to figure out how Santa always knew that we would be traveling and that he had to come early just to our house. I felt very special! One of our traditions back then was that there was always a Christmas 'show' or pageant on Christmas Eve. One year my Uncle read from the bible and we kids were dressed up as angels and wisemen (the baby doll Santa had brought me just the night before was baby jesus) and acted out the Christmas story. Another year my uncle and dad took turns reading the whole book of "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" in one sitting. Another year we did our own version of "Hee Haw" which was really just a ridiculous talent show that was funny as hell for everybody. Somebody would always sneak out (unnoticed by the kids) and go change into a santa suit in the garage. Some adult would shush us all and say 'did you hear that on the roof??' then whoever got nominated to play Santa that year would come in with a huge bag of presents (that I belive each parent brought and provided for their own kids) and distribute. Ah, so much fun. I haven't thought about all that in years. Sorry for the hijack OP.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Dec 8, 2014 21:51:34 GMT
When daughter was growing up she would alternate Christmases with us and her dad. That meant we had to do Christmas either after Christmas or before. We chose to do Christmas after most years. Most of the time it was so that we could have the extra days when she wasn't home to get all the stuff done. I kept our decorations up and did the whole dinner, and Christmas just like it was Christmas day.
After he dad moved to Hawaii she started doing Christmas with us every year. The first few years we had to start thinking of Christmas earlier so that we had enough time to get everything done before Christmas. I spent most days when she was in school doing Christmas stuff so it was all done and wrapped before she got out of school for Christmas break. It got easier every year after that. This Christmas most of her stuff is coming from amazon. Just because the stuff she wants is on amazon for a better price.
I would do what every you do on a normal Christmas for your family. I wouldn't do less. I would do what ever it is that makes Christmas Christmas for you and your family....
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