julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,621
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Oct 22, 2021 15:53:46 GMT
We bought a camper this year and have taken several weekend trips locally with it. He’s had me make reservations for Friday thru Sunday and says he’ll work Friday and then we will take off at the end of the day. Every time. And every single time he decides to skip work amd just take off early-raring amd ready to go except I’m not because I was told I’d have until 5 pm to get stuff done. Then is mad at me for not being ready to just hop in the truck and go.
Today I finally told him I’m going to kick him in the teeth if he doesn’t stfu because I have shit to do amd he said he would be working. I think this is why I drink so much on trips. I have multiple other complaints about camping-for example he’ll spend his entire weekend doomsday scrolling on Facebook amd then gets mad at me dor going inside away from the bugs, won’t ride bikes with me then complain about how fat we are, bitch if I don’t pack 5 weeks of food for a 2 day trip….
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Oct 22, 2021 16:14:09 GMT
So, other than booking the sites, what does he do to help prepare for the weekend?
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Post by jemali on Oct 22, 2021 16:19:57 GMT
Ugh my DH does the same thing! If I take a half day off to get ready for the weekend at the lake he will try to get off early too! He does help with the packing etc but sometimes I want the time to bake brownies or something.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,621
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Oct 22, 2021 16:24:18 GMT
So, other than booking the sites, what does he do to help prepare for the weekend? None. Our last trip was a week and boy I made sure he knew how much I have to put into our trips. It’s been a learning year dor sure. It’s the same even if we’re not camping. He’s pissed that we’re all packing bags while he stands around fuming ready to go amd it’s like we’ll somebody has to pack!!!!!
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 22, 2021 16:27:22 GMT
It sounds like you do all the planning and work (why?) but you don’t even get anything out of it. Can you plan the next trip exactly how you’d like it?
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,903
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
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Post by tracylynn on Oct 22, 2021 16:46:13 GMT
Or better yet ... don't go.
Let him know without you once so he can do all the work. This only works if you don't lift a finger to help him though. He has to understand what it takes.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,920
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Oct 22, 2021 16:48:10 GMT
Do you pack for him?
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 22, 2021 16:52:10 GMT
Also if he decides not to work Friday can’t he help you quickly get everything done so you can hit the road earlier?
Also - I would really encourage you to get out and bike ride and hike on your own and leave him behind.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,621
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Oct 22, 2021 16:56:52 GMT
Thanks y’all for listening. He’s just one of those pita men who is negative about everything. He’s actually improving.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,621
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Oct 22, 2021 17:18:45 GMT
Also if he decides not to work Friday can’t he help you quickly get everything done so you can hit the road earlier? Also - I would really encourage you to get out and bike ride and hike on your own and leave him behind. Last time my son and I did just that. We hiked and rode bikes together. The time before we went to the lake without my husband. He never even left the campsite and I pointed that out after we got home. I still scrapbook so I try to find things to do so I can document later. Lol plus you know my kid deserves good memories
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Oct 22, 2021 17:24:42 GMT
So, other than booking the sites, what does he do to help prepare for the weekend? None. Our last trip was a week and boy I made sure he knew how much I have to put into our trips. It’s been a learning year dor sure. It’s the same even if we’re not camping. He’s pissed that we’re all packing bags while he stands around fuming ready to go amd it’s like we’ll somebody has to pack!!!!! A big 'hell no' on that. Write out a task list and tell him to choose what he'll be doing. If he isn't willing to do that, don't go.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,621
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Oct 22, 2021 17:31:46 GMT
And since this is my vent thread and I’ve already said so much I’ll add this.
In July we had a week long trip with friends. It was our first long trip and our first time with friends. My husband got all full of himself didn’t chock the wheels like I said to. It was pouring down rain and he dropped the bolts to our weight distributing hitch so my dumbass goes under the camper to get them. The whole camper dropped abd rolled due to the chicks not being there. I was pinned amd I really thought I was going to die. 15000 pounds on top of me.
ONE chain held us to the pickup and saved my life amd looking back, my child’s because he was in the truck. If that camper had kept going the truck would have went with it. Our friend saw it and came flying out his camper to help.
It was humbling. After we got home I had a serious come to Jesus with husband. I was miserable that entire trip at the sheer volume of work I had to do. So each trip since I’ve tried to speak up about what I don’t like.
Today I did that amd he respected that amd stayed off my back about. I like camping, I’m just trying to find my groove. Anyways hopefully we get some truck or treaters this weekend because I bought so much freakin candy. Lol
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Oct 22, 2021 17:36:01 GMT
First of all, since you now know he does this Friday thing every time, I would just be prepared to leave on Friday morning, if I really wanted to go, that is. Otehrwise, I would just tell him unless he is helpful getting ready and more aware of the time, I wouldn't go at all. That's a lot of work to do all by yourself while he stands around and crabs. You could also do all the work, send him on his merry way and stay home enjoying a peaceful weekend. LOL
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Post by disneypal on Oct 22, 2021 17:39:36 GMT
And every single time he decides to skip work amd just take off early-raring amd ready I totally understand your frustration and I would be annoyed too. However, since he does this every time...going forward, I would make sure everything was ready by Thursday night, so when he pulls that again, you'll be ready too. Of course, you know, if you are ready by Thursday night...then he will work all day Friday - MEN!!
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Oct 22, 2021 17:44:41 GMT
I really think stuff like this is easy. The next time you are planning a weekend away and he says he's going to work on Friday say, "Since you plan to work on Friday, I am not planning to be ready to go until 5:00. I won't be ready to go anytime before 5:00." If he takes the day off after that conversation, remind him you won't be ready until 5:00,but "We can be ready to go earlier if you'll help with XYZ, otherwise, I'll be in the truck at 5:00."
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 23, 2024 23:34:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2021 17:45:44 GMT
Your relationship is very unhealthy, you already know that though.
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garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,773
Location: So. Calif.
Jun 25, 2014 23:22:29 GMT
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Post by garcia5050 on Oct 22, 2021 17:58:10 GMT
Prepping for a camping weekend is stressful enough - even if it's not tent camping. The whole time change and lack of help just has to make this so much worse. I would drink a lot too while I was on vacation if I were you! There are some good suggestions above, like biking without him. Though I think it's easier said than done to let him go without you. If I told DH that he can go without me, then he won't go - and the whole family suffers.
I like the idea of 're-confirming' the time - maybe multiple times, and stating my plans out loud "Since I have until 5 p.m., I'm going to do A, B,C, then X Y and Z. . . . "
And yes - you do go camping a lot - I'm jealous that you have all these beautiful places so close to you. Here in So. Cal, the good spots are always gone within minutes of the time slots opening up. It's like trying to get good concert tickets online.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 22, 2021 18:03:46 GMT
It sounds like he likes the idea of camping, but he really isn't into it. That sucks for you.
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 22, 2021 18:08:15 GMT
What does he actually do on these camping trips?
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Post by ntsf on Oct 22, 2021 18:35:46 GMT
I would have a come to jesus meeting on the whole idea of camping..sounds like he loves the idea, and not the work. I would have checklists.. what has to be done before you go and what has to happen at campsite.. and have him commit to his list of chores.. like proper set up of camper. cooking some of the meals. whatever.
doesn't sound like fun for anyone. I love camping. but I am willing to do the work to make my vision happen.. not someone else's.. who doesn't do the work.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,234
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Oct 22, 2021 18:51:56 GMT
You teach people how to treat you.
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Post by lbp on Oct 22, 2021 19:09:57 GMT
I am about to throttle my husband too. We have been planning a New England trip for over a year (we were supposed to go last October but Covid). We are going with my sister and her husband and leaving this Sunday. Around April he decides he isn't going. Fine, I am still going without you and we re-arrange the schedule, make reservations, etc.. last week he decides, yep he wants to go. Again we re-arrange change plans, etc. Am I pissed, yep. Now he wants to change the way we are going, where we are going, what time we are leaving, etc. HELL NO buddy, you're with us now, you no longer have a say in this! Did he try on any of the new jeans that I bought him this week? Nope. And he wasn't packed a thing. I will throw in what I think he needs and if the jeans don't fit or he doesn't like the clothes that is just tooooo bad. I am done with wishy washy.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Oct 22, 2021 19:10:43 GMT
I remember the previous disaster camping trip - yeah - camping is a shit ton of work, either everyone pitches in or it's hell on earth. But then I confess to being ecstatic when our kids got a little older and I didn't feel obligated to do it anymore. So perhaps I'm not the best person to ask- I embrace my anti-camping, find me a hotel and we can still hike vacations.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,621
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Oct 22, 2021 19:12:52 GMT
Well we just unhooked and no one died but the whole back room shredded when opening because a damn drawer opened during transit. God only knows how much that will cost to repair. I’m about to sell this stupid thing. It’s been one nightmare after another and I’m bawling my eyes out.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Oct 22, 2021 20:35:00 GMT
Well we just unhooked and no one died but the whole back room shredded when opening because a damn drawer opened during transit. God only knows how much that will cost to repair. I’m about to sell this stupid thing. It’s been one nightmare after another and I’m bawling my eyes out. I have no idea what this means . . . but sounds like a mess. You should know that I hardly give anyone here a second thought, but you are often on my mind. I worry about you.
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Post by Bobomommy on Oct 22, 2021 22:48:16 GMT
Here’s what I did to make packing my camper for a camping trip so much easier. I put some older kitchen items in the camper and they stay there. Pots, pans, baking sheet and cooking utensils. Paper plates are in a large ziploc bag. Plastic utensils in bag. If I use one of the pots, pans, etc. I wash it since it sat in a cabinet. I had an older crock pot and added it to the cooking stash when I bought a new one.
Linens are stripped from the beds when we come home, washed, and put back on the beds.
I bought 10 pair of underwear, a couple pair of pajamas, flip flops, and slippers that are my camping stash. When I get home they are washed with the bed linens and returned to the camper.
I keep non-perishables in the pantry - canned goods, oil, flour, sugar, salt, pepper, etc. Just put in airtight containers to avoid bugs, mice, or humidity.
In the bathroom I have a supply of body wash, bar soap, deodorant, hair spray, etc. When my blush, eye shadow, etc gets low I put that in the camper and so I have makeup in case we decide to go out one night
I also have thinner towels for the camper since they dry quicker between uses. We use our towels two or three times before changing. When returning, they go in the wash and right back to the camper.
By having these things already in the unit, I only have to pack what I plan to wear and the food that isn’t already packed. I can be ready to leave in 30 minutes.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,884
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Oct 22, 2021 23:14:45 GMT
I hope your weekend goes better from now on. <3 I will be honest and say I have never liked the thought of camping. Everyone I know who camps and likes it talks about how much work it is to get ready and how much work it is when you get home. I don't even like unpacking my suitcase and doing laundry when I get home from a trip. LOL Give me a hotel any day over a camper.
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Post by tryingtobewise on Oct 22, 2021 23:37:55 GMT
I hope your weekend gets A LOT better. I think in your place I might boycott camping for a while. Hang in there.
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Post by leannec on Oct 23, 2021 0:31:37 GMT
This is why I stopped camping years ago ... all you do, no matter who your partner is, is pack, cook and clean - repeat ... and then unpack and clean. I did it for years when our kids were younger ... once they were older I said "No more!" ... we went to a condo instead ... there was still work but not the confined space. Now, I'm single and will only stay in hotels. Good luck to you!
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Post by Skellinton on Oct 23, 2021 1:10:12 GMT
Your husband sounds like a peach. I would either be camping solo if it was something I actually enjoyed or staying home.
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