Thanksgiving warning: I'm aghast.

I was once chased around a warehouse building by a chicken. I was 8 months pregnant at the time.

That bird scared the crap out of me. 

L

We had a mother and four chicks (poults) using our birdbath. All four chicks in birdbath at once. Then they grew. Four bigger turkeys in birdbath. Grew more. Fun to watch them STILL try to get in the birdbath together seeming to never figure out that they could not all fit when they were full-grown BIG a$$ birds! Just kept trying. Geniuses! Persistent buggers.

When I was really little we had chickens. We had this one hen by the name of Big Mama. And she was nasty.

My niece was attacked by their rooster when she was that age. It had her down on the ground and was pecking her and kicking her. She was a bloody mess by the time my sister was able to get that darned thing off of her. She kept hitting it with a shovel and it didn't back off. When she was able to get it away long enough to scoop my niece up, the rooster flew up at her. She said she tucked my niece into her coat and kept kicking the rooster in the chest as she walked backward toward the house. They finally got in. She said she tended to my niece, then went to get her pistol to take care of the rooster. My niece had a fit that she was going to shoot it because the kids had raised their chickens and rooster from babies. Even after she was all pecked up, she wanted to save that rooster.

My sister called her husband who came home and trapped all of the chickens and rooster (by that time, my sister was over the whole poultry thing, fresh eggs be damned) and took them to this big piece of property they had just bought. Her husband was staying up there and fixing up the little old hunting lodge to get it in good enough shape for the family to move into it. That satisfied both my niece and sister. Although, the hunting lodge hadn't been occupied in many many years, so the coyotes were not afraid to come down at night for snacks. All the chickens and the rooster were gone within a week.

Fast forward about 7 or 8 years. They were now all living on the ranch and the kids wanted baby chicks again. This time, her husband was building a big enclosure for the chickens by the barn. They also had geese that the kids got for Easter a few years prior and raised from babies. The geese were full grown and beautiful by the time the chickens came. After having the chickens in a cage in the house, it was time to let them start getting used to being outside. Since there were still plenty of wild things that would eat them, my sister put their cage into the big enclosure where the geese were because the coop wasn't quite ready for them.

Unfortunately, one of the female geese decided these chickens were her babies. During the week that they were in there, she bonded with them. My sister went to go change their water and give them more food like she did every day. The goose that had bonded with the chicks must have thought my sister was hurting them or something because she flew up at my sister to frighten her away. I guess it was so aggressive that my sister turned to hurry out of the enclosure.

As soon as she turned her back, she said she heard wings flapping and felt a huge pinch right at the top of her leg and bottom of her butt. This goose meant business and wouldn't let go. My sister said she dropped the stuff in her hands and tried to swing them behind her to hit the goose off her butt but she couldn't reach her. She ran toward the house, up the back stairs, across the porch, screaming in pain and fear, with this giant goose attached to her butt flapping her huge wings and refusing to let go. Sis reached the back sliding door and opened it just enough to get her body inside and she tried to close the slider with one hand to make the opening too small for the goose to get in. She couldn't pull the slider with her one arm (she has shoulder issues) and screamed for someone in the house to come help.

At this point, her son ran into the room and was able to slide the door shut enough to make sure the goose wasn't coming inside with my sister. She lunged forward as my nephew kept sliding the door opening smaller and smaller until the goose finally let go and he was able to close it. Sis said they laughed so hard they were crying at the sight of her with her butt hanging outside the door with the goose attached, honking and flapping her wings and trying to pull my sister back out. I so wish they had gotten a picture or movie of it all. Unfortunately, this was before cell phones.

Sis still lives on the ranch and I'm going out there tomorrow for Thanksgiving dinner. She has chickens in the big coop now. There are no more geese, but there are a ton of peacocks. They did buy a couple of them as babies, but I guess their loud screeching noise advertised a good home to all the other wild peacocks in the area because they started with the three babies and now have a flock of over a dozen. The peacocks are actually kinda fun. They honor you with fanning their tails out once in a while and it is so beautiful to watch. Plus, they haven't attacked anyone. They hang out in her trees at night and walk around with the dogs during the day. The only bad thing is their screech will wake the dead. Well, and the peacock poop. But we get tons of gorgeous feathers from them.