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Post by Lexica on Dec 29, 2021 3:13:04 GMT
I read the "Am I an AH?" posts on Reddit once in a while. It makes me feel so much better about my boring life. While some are quite obviously written by teens looking to create a stir, and others are really legitimate situations that people find themselves in, this post surprised me. I cannot imagine being married to someone who would do such a thing, and then speak to her the way he did when she confronted him. I can't say for sure this is authentic, but I would think it would have been taken down if it was. It was written by a wife about something her husband did. I'll just go ahead and paste it here.
------- AITA for blowing up at my husband after he showed up to my workplace to trade the gift I gave him with the one I gave my boss?.
Hello.
So in every holiday celebration (Christmas in this case) I make a list of the people I'm buying gifts for and what type of gifts I'm buying. I struggled with mistreatment in my previous job but got fortunate enough to now be working in a very friendly envirnment with amazing co workers and an amazing boss. My boss has stood by my side in many many instances and I decided to include him in my gift list. I got a tie which was within average price nothing fancy, still keeping it professional and he liked it so much.
The issue started when my husband recieved the Christmas gift I bought him which was a pair of sunglasses that I thought he liked. He didn't say he didn't like it but he has a bit of a passive attitude and he doesn't say his honest opinions.
Monday (yesterday) he showed up to my workplace and told my boss to trade the gift I gave him with his, my husband clearly found out what I got for my boss by looking at my list. My boss notified me while I was out and I couldn't believe it. I went home and just blew up at him for going to my workplace and bullying my boss into trading gifts with him. He said it was between him and my boss and I should stay out of it and not be sych an over-reactor.
I told him I've always maintained a good and professional relationship with my boss and what he did damaged that professional relationship. He doesn't know my boss at all nor met him personally to be this comfortable with him. He said that my boss is "human" and I should stop walking on eggshels just to keep my job but it's not like that at all. That is just not my point. We had a huge argument over that and he said that unlike us women, "them" men don't see it as big issue and are a lot more chill than us when it comes to "etiquette" and that kind of stuff us women obssess over though my boss was obviousy weirded out and upset and it WAS a big deal since he wants to speak to me asap. My husband also said it's basically my fault he didn't like the original gift I bought for him so that's on me.
We're both mad and have basically been arguing with each other ever since. ----------
I guess I shouldn't be surprised by what goes on in anyone's marriage, but this particular one got me. I cannot picture a man demanding to trade gifts with his spouse's boss, especially since he had never even met the man before. I wouldn't be surprised if the boss just handed over the tie and didn't accept the sunglasses. I wouldn't want them at that point. And if I were the spouse, I would be so humiliated to return to work the next day.
This one is a divorce offense to me. I only read the first few responses, but several people are thinking this was done on purpose to ruin the relationship with this new boss. If the wife likes her job and boss and is paid well, she is more likely to be confident and eventually leave the husband rather than be intimidated not to. They felt this was an effort to keep her tied to himself. I don't know. A tie versus sunglasses? Just so strange. And I hardly think the husband has a job where he wears ties. He doesn't sound educated enough.
I'm still half thinking this is a fake submission, but I thought the peas would be entertained and probably guess if it was real or not. I'm fairly new to Reddit, so I'm not quite sure how anyone would know whether or not a post is real, but somehow they seem to figure it out.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,147
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Dec 29, 2021 3:17:15 GMT
I saw that one… so nuts.
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Post by myshelly on Dec 29, 2021 3:20:48 GMT
Just an FYI, it’s the asshole, not an asshole
That’s what the T is for in the AITA.
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Post by mom on Dec 29, 2021 3:24:48 GMT
I would be so pissed.
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Post by chaosisapony on Dec 29, 2021 3:41:19 GMT
I read that sub sometimes too, it's always entertaining. Some of the situations, like this one, are so far out of left field I don't even know how I would respond. For this particular situation, I'd probably start looking at divorcing that husband. He obviously is trying to sabotage his wife and on the off chance he isn't he is completely oblivious to social cues and expectations and I wouldn't want to deal with that for the rest of my life.
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Post by Lexica on Dec 29, 2021 3:46:43 GMT
I read that sub sometimes too, it's always entertaining. Some of the situations, like this one, are so far out of left field I don't even know how I would respond. For this particular situation, I'd probably start looking at divorcing that husband. He obviously is trying to sabotage his wife and on the off chance he isn't he is completely oblivious to social cues and expectations and I wouldn't want to deal with that for the rest of my life. Exactly! I wouldn't want to live with that either. If he can do something like this and speak to her like she related, I think we are seeing the tip of that iceberg.
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Post by ~summer~ on Dec 29, 2021 3:53:28 GMT
I didn’t read your post word for word and I wasn’t familiar with all the acronyms used - but it sounds like the husband is super jealous and controlling
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Post by ~summer~ on Dec 29, 2021 3:55:07 GMT
Just an FYI, it’s the asshole, not an asshole That’s what the T is for in the AITA. Thank you — I had to guess what the acronyms are for.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,147
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Dec 29, 2021 4:03:25 GMT
Just an FYI, it’s the asshole, not an asshole That’s what the T is for in the AITA. YTA. Was that necessary?
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,564
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Dec 29, 2021 4:10:07 GMT
The fact that he looked for her list to see what she bought her boss is strange. Didn’t she show him what she bought for others before wrapping them? He sounds very controlling.
The whole story sounds fishy to me, I don’t know anyone like that. Doesn’t mean they’re not out there, though.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Dec 29, 2021 4:23:10 GMT
It sounds like the husband thought the tie was too personal of a gift for the boss and was jealous. He needed to show the boss who is boss” and make his presence known. I agree that if my husband did this I would be pissed and so embarrassed.
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Post by myshelly on Dec 29, 2021 5:21:48 GMT
Just an FYI, it’s the asshole, not an asshole That’s what the T is for in the AITA. YTA. Was that necessary? Some people saw it as helpful. I don’t understand why it would offend you. It’s giving information/stating a fact.
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paget
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,009
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:39 GMT
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Post by paget on Dec 29, 2021 5:56:52 GMT
I have a hard time thinking that could be real. Poor lady, RUN, if it is!
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,072
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Dec 29, 2021 6:13:24 GMT
If it’s real, giant red flags waving all over the place here! This is not a marriage that’s going to be healthy or end well.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 7:52:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2021 8:23:03 GMT
If that's true she definitely needs to LTB, that behaviour is beyond weird.
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Post by compeateropeator on Dec 29, 2021 9:35:14 GMT
I find everything about it off and very hard to believe.
You never know, I suppose, but can’t even imagine any person randomly going to a spouses place of work (without the spouse) and then ask their boss (that they’ve never met) to swap presents that have already been opened. Most people would have returned the glasses and bought a tie and then just brought it up/bitch about it every year afterwards how the boss got a better present.
Some people have some odd behaviors but this just doesn’t seem real. If it is…run and run fast because those actions do not fall anywhere close to acceptable or normal (I am not a fan of this word but can’t think of any other way to say it.).
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Post by CardBoxer on Dec 29, 2021 10:45:54 GMT
I call bogus. Took me back to the fake letters from Yale University students sent to the famous advice columnist, Ann Landers. From an article in 1980: dks.library.kent.edu/?a=d&d=dks19800228-01.2.32&e=-------en-20--1--txt-txIN-------“Dear Ann' spots fake Yale letters NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP) Columnist Ann Landers, who specializes in solving people’s problems and giving advice, says Yale University is special to her because it is “synonymous with made-up letters.” “I can always tell a phony letter,” she told an audience of Yale students Monday night, “and the Yale letters have a special sound to them.” She didn’t say what that special sound was, but she told her audience of more than 200 people that each year she and her eight secretaries in Chicago receive hundreds of fake letters bearing New Haven postmarks. Ann Landers is really Eppie Lederer, 62, from Sioux City, lowa, the woman behind the pen name. She has been publishing letters from readers and offering advice for 25 years and swears those that make her column are authentic. “Someone would have to be psychotic to make up some of the letters I get,” she said.”
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Dec 29, 2021 13:03:19 GMT
A lot of AITA posts are pure fiction. It's a thing.
Want some more crazy? Read r/JNMIL - layers and layers of crazy.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Dec 29, 2021 14:00:45 GMT
what is JNMIL? Just No MIL? LOL?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 21, 2024 7:52:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2021 14:03:57 GMT
Anything is possible but I'd lean towards the poster wanting to invent a scenario where 2 people are in conflict over her. She mentions multiple times how 'professional' the relationship is with her boss so she could be trying to lead the reader. Other versions could also be true - the husband asked her to trade the gifts. A person can't post that story and expect anyone to side with the husband, so I'm assuming she wants something out of posting it....attention, sympathy, drama...all of the above?
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,065
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Dec 29, 2021 14:16:07 GMT
I like this sub reddit.. I also really like IamtheMAINcharacter... those people really and truely do think the world revolves around them...
I need to check out the other one mentioned
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Dec 29, 2021 14:16:54 GMT
what is JNMIL? Just No MIL? LOL? Just No Mother In Law
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Post by picotjo on Dec 29, 2021 14:45:00 GMT
I am not familiar with Reddit but it sounds entertaining. How do I find the AITA?
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,784
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
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Post by Rhondito on Dec 29, 2021 16:05:58 GMT
So in every holiday celebration (Christmas in this case) I make a list of the people I'm buying gifts for and what type of gifts I'm buying. I struggled with mistreatment in my previous job but got fortunate enough to now be working in a very friendly envirnment with amazing co workers and an amazing boss. My boss has stood by my side in many many instances and I decided to include him in my gift list. I got a tie which was within average price nothing fancy, still keeping it professional and he liked it so much. This is not about a tie. The husband is suspicious that a boss is now included in the gift list and feels more is going on than a employer/employee relationship. I would be mortified if I were the wife.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,864
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Dec 29, 2021 16:10:43 GMT
So in every holiday celebration (Christmas in this case) I make a list of the people I'm buying gifts for and what type of gifts I'm buying. I struggled with mistreatment in my previous job but got fortunate enough to now be working in a very friendly envirnment with amazing co workers and an amazing boss. My boss has stood by my side in many many instances and I decided to include him in my gift list. I got a tie which was within average price nothing fancy, still keeping it professional and he liked it so much. This is not about a tie. The husband is suspicious that a boss is now included in the gift list and feels more is going on than a employer/employee relationship. I would be mortified if I were the wife. Agreed. And it's stranger than fiction - that's why I think it's real: who could make that up?
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,065
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Dec 29, 2021 17:03:54 GMT
I am not familiar with Reddit but it sounds entertaining. How do I find the AITA? The easiest way I have for getting thru reddit is just to google reddit and the sub name I am looking for.. such as reddit sister wives and it brings it up... or google reddit duggars... I find reddit a little overwhelming otherwise...
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tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,899
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
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Post by tracylynn on Dec 29, 2021 18:18:03 GMT
I just google AITA and go that way. Sometimes I go through the APP, just depends on my mood.
The only sub I read is AITA. There are days that I wonder what the hell is wrong with this World. And many times I roll my eyes because some of these situations just can't be true at all. But if some of them are, I really wonder how/why women stay in some of these relationships. It's heartbreaking if true.
I bypass the teenage drama, because honestly, it's teenage shit and sort of annoying.
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Post by Lexica on Dec 29, 2021 19:15:26 GMT
This is not about a tie. The husband is suspicious that a boss is now included in the gift list and feels more is going on than a employer/employee relationship. I would be mortified if I were the wife. Agreed. And it's stranger than fiction - that's why I think it's real: who could make that up? That was my thought too. Some of the posts are more obviously made up and I'm sure there are people out there, especially during the pandemic when they are bored, that make up things to try to "put one over" on the readers just for sport. If this one is made up, that is one heck of a twisted imagination. Or perhaps there was a similar incident among their friends and they rewrote it to be more extreme. Who knows? I just find that I feel so much better about my boring quiet life after reading there. Thank you guys for the recommendations to JNMIL and IamtheMAINcharacter. I will take a look.
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Post by papersilly on Dec 29, 2021 19:52:37 GMT
dh was the a-hole for sure
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Post by greendragonlady on Dec 29, 2021 20:32:52 GMT
I believe it. There are definitely people like that out there. My ex SIL's husband, for example.
Most married people will vent to their spouse about stuff, work included. I think it's an unspoken rule that you listen, commiserate, maybe offer advice. That's it. In her case, she had told him about some stuff at work, complained about people, etc. He called up someone above her boss's head and complained about whatever the situation was. Her boss got chewed out (maybe rightfully so, I'm not sure.) However, her work life after that was made absolutely miserable and she ended up taking an early retirement.
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