Adults who constantly interrupt/talk over you

She does not care to change it.

I went in this morning, took her a cupcake that I know she loves, and apologized again. Today she is doing the "you hurt me terribly but I reluctantly forgive you" thing. Then she texted me and said she knows she interrupts and is sorry and doesn't mean anything by it, but that she was glad I had "stepped up" with another apology.

I responded back that her frequent interruptions make me feel demeaned and dismissed, as if she believes my words are less important than hers. I said that my feelings don't excuse my snapping at her, but that I do feel that way.

No response.

I chose not to eat lunch with the group today and am sitting in my classroom instead.

Based on what she's told us about her family interactions, she is the baby in the family and is used to having her "quirks" overlooked. She seems to feel, even at the age of 42, that she is just so damn cute and talented that anyone can and should forgive her anything. She needs constant attention and praise for herself and her daughter, who is a first grader. 

Clearly my issues with her are deeper than just her interrupting. That's a symptom of a larger problem, which is that I find her obnoxious, overbearing, and self-absorbed. Ha. I've spent almost two years being patient and professional with her and I am over it!

Honest question for those who say they feel the need to get their thought out before they forget it - is it necessary to inject every thought you have into the conversation? Or could you participate just with the thoughts that come up at appropriate times to share?

As an introvert who shares out loud only a fraction of what I actually think, I’m having a hard time understanding why every single thought must be voiced.

I’m not trying to pick on anyone here who struggles with this - I guess I’m trying to better understand my coworker. As an introvert, I’ve had to work hard to develop conversational skills so that my friendships and work life don’t suffer. I’ve learned that asking about others is a better way to keep the conversation moving than to spout out every thought I have. Do extroverted people not feel a similar pressure and responsibility to make themselves socially acceptable?

That's fair. Let's say "people who talk a lot" and "people who don't talk a lot" then. I tend not to talk a lot, but like everyone else, I've sometimes had something I wanted to say but forgot it in the course of conversation. I'm not a fan of small talk, so when i do add something to the conversation, it tends to be something I've considered before saying it. The less consequential stuff I forget probably wouldn't have added much anyway.

I agree that there are strategies we can all use to help remember important thoughts rather than blurting them out. I also jot down notes in meetings so I can bring stuff up. The chat feature in a Zoom meeting is actually brilliant for this. I've had admin who used a "parking lot" board for questions or thoughts - you write what you wanted to say or ask on a sticky and put it on the parking lot board, so it can be brought up during a break.

But I also think that, in a conversation that isn't essential (work related/IEP meetings/etc.), it's good for all of us to realize that not every thought we have is pure gold and needs to be voiced. To me, that is basic courtesy and consideration for others - reminding myself that no one needs the benefit of every opinion I have. Of course, that only works if everyone is operating from the same understanding.

It was also mentioned up above that some people listen to reply, and some listen to understand. I think that people who talk recreationally sometimes forget that the point of listening is not necessarily to reply before understanding. My husband and I learned in therapy when we were first married that when one of us shares, the other should consider whether we're looking for help and ideas or just sympathy and understanding. DH will still ask me, when I tell him about something I'm dealing with, "Do you want ideas or sympathy?" It's worked well for us. 

It's hard, when you're looking for sympathy and understanding, to deal with someone who appears not to care about that, and instead wants to interrupt and talk over you to share all their ideas on the matter.

Anyway, I appreciate everyone's perspectives on this. I'm still feeling prickly toward my coworker this morning, so we'll see how the day goes.