How would you respond?

I would have sent my child with replacement candy and a letter of apology the next day.

But I'm betting that's not the response you got.

Honestly, during my one harrowing year in middle school, I learned that emailing parents over any behavior short of violence was an exercise in frustration. I had lots of stuff stolen, including candy. Parents were largely indifferent and sometimes hostile. I learned why no other teacher had anything nice in their classroom except under lock and key. And I skedaddled back to elementary school the next year.

I hope it all works out in a positive way for you.

I would have my child write a letter and say sorry.. Probably have her bring some candy to school.

I'm not questioning why the reasons kids were in your classroom and all that.. stuff happens. I would leave a classroom of kids if I had an emergency bathroom issue. I think at our school we have extra paras that can step in.. if the fact if there are any available..lol

I would have just apologized.
I assume the mom is denying her kid did anything.

When I first read this I thought you were overreacting, now I'm not so sure.  

Was the candy sitting there YOUR candy that you intended to consume?  Or a bowl of candy that you let students also enjoy?

If the first, he was wrong and needs to apologize and the parents should talk to him about this.

If the latter, then while the kid shouldn't have lied, perhaps he was embarrassed about being called out with missing the trash and for some reason tried to lie and flub his way out if.  And an overreaction on your part.  

As a middle school mom I want to apologize for all the asshat parents who won't respond.

I'd be having a conversation with my kid about lying and send him back with replacement candy and an apology. it's not the candy, it's the lying to a teacher- that's a big no in my book.

To be honest, I feel you made too much of the incident. The first thing you said was perfect, you made your point nothing else needed.if he had opened a drawer that might make me feel different. He might have assumed it was ok to take one. If I go into a store and there is a little bowl of candy I would assume it was for customers to take one.

In that case, shame on her if she doesn't respond to the email.

As a teacher myself, this is what I would have done. You didn’t see it happen, so it becomes impossible to conclude. The student will continue to deny, even to parents, so there is no solution here. These days parents want their kids to be their friends, so they don’t often respond as one might hope a parent would.

As a parent my response to you would be, "I am so sorry my child did that. I will have a talk with child. Thank you for letting me know." Then after talking to my child I would have them write you an apology letter AND send them with a big bag of candy as a replacement. And I would have child do appropriate chores in order to pay for the candy. I do not tolerate lying. Especially to a teacher.

I was going to reply that I think how you handled it was what I would've done. As a parent, I would want that e-mail. It is disappointing to hear how parents are handling e-mails from teachers, but I am not surprised. Even in volunteering at my child's elementary school for years, the things the teachers would tell me were shocking.

I also caught your reply about how the parents (and student) handled it after your e-mail and it's still disappointing. I am so sorry. People suck.

I'm so grateful for teachers! I do not know how you do it!! Are you allowed to search a kid's backpack? I have no idea. If I were the parent, I would likely wait to respond to the email until I had a chance to talk to my kid about it. That talk would have happened asap after school. I would respond with an apology even if my kid denied it.

For me personally, lying is the worst infraction my son could ever commit. He knew that too since I started educating him on this from a very young age. I didn't explain the reasons why I had such a strong policy on lies, he just knew that I would work with him through just about anything except for lying. He learned to come to me and tell me the truth at a very young age. He was always hugged and commended for doing so. Then sure we would talk about what happened but there wasn't really a punishment as long as he told me the truth. It was usually something that occurred by accident such as him breaking something by being careless. He knew he needed to come tell me before I found the item and had to ask him about it.

Lying to his teacher? And after stealing something? I would have had him write an apology letter and since he felt okay lying to you in front of the class, I would request for him to read the apology letter to you while standing in front of that same class. I wouldn't want other kids watching to think he got away with it. He would also have to do extra chores or take money from his savings to pay for replacement candy. Then he and I would have to have a talk. I'm sure the talk would be the most painful thing for him. I was a very understanding mother for most things. Heck I was a kid once too. But telling a lie and stealing are both things that you have the time to think about and correct yourself before committing. I absolutely HATE lying.

I truly hope this kid is made to write a follow-up letter to you or even better, feels the need to apologize on his own. It was never about the candy!