If you are overweight/obese, are your kids too?

My mother was also a founder of the "I'm going to control your weight by putting you on fad diets and calling you fat" club. She was very controlling w/food.I look back at photos of myself as a teenager and I was probably normal weight. I struggled w/weight for many years, though it was usually 20-30 lbs. Putting labels on our kids, "fat, chunky, etc." sets them up for a lifelong battle w/food. I'm a huge fan of Geneen Roth, who approaches food w/psychology rather than diets. Breaking Free is a really good program for women w/eating disorders and issues around food.

I’m overweight - obese right now. I haven’t always been, but I developed thyroid problems in my late teens that Drs refused to treat because my levels fluctuated between low and normal and I have PCOS. I hate it — I’ve lost weight and gained it and lost it again and gained it back. I assure you I know I’m fat. My oldest is just built smaller and is thin — when she’s not stuck on a couch recovering from surgery we have a hard time keeping weight on her. My youngest though is built much bigger — bigger bones, bigger stature. She tends to gain easily when she’s not active. Poor kid gets compared to her sister — they just have completely different body types. Even when she’s at a completely healthy weight people tend to think she’s “fat” because she is just built bigger.

I’m very glad one of the three of you mentioned her mother’s exact age, because I was starting to get depressed about this thread for a very different reason than y’all: I was starting to wonder if I, a Boomer mom with kids in their twenties (yeah, yeah, LATE twenties..and yeah, yeah, I had babies rather late), could actually be a MOTHER to any/all of you! 

But now I’m lodging an official Pea complaint under the Wikipedia rules of evidence that 86 year-olds are not Boomers. LOL. 

LOL!

My mom is a Boomer and I grew up with constant comments about my body. I was shaped like the women on Dad's side of the family, short, curvy, busty. Her and my sister were tall and thin (my mom is 4 inches taller than I am and my sister is 6 inches taller than I am). In my childhood I was athletic and I was not overweight. But my mom still commented on my eating constantly. Now my sister's anxiety is so bad, she is painfully thin. My mom has filled out a bit herself so she has learned to keep her mouth closed.

As an adult, my weight fluctuates. I have hypothyroid and PCOS. My weight also fluctuates based upon my mental health. My DD is very tiny and small. She has an eating disorder that stems from her bipolar disorder (her childhood psychiatrist said hers did not present like a typical eating disorder) but she has it under decent control right now and is at a normal weight. My other daughter is built more like me and she is not obese, but she sometimes gains 20 pounds more than where she should be. But part of that, I believe is genetics and part of it, again, is the mood disorder.

Merge   Yes! When my Grandad got older he started mentioning my weight every time I saw him to either my mom or me. Mind, he was very obese at the time. Anyway, after ignoring the comments for years I finally said to him “Grandad, it hurts my feelings every time you mention it” and I’ve never heard another peep. I can see how damaging your mom’s actions were, I’m sorry you’ve had to live with it.

My mom and stepdad were a little over weight. We ate the typical middle of the aisle diet and there wasn’t a lot of leftovers/second servings. In high school my sister and I were at least as active as a typical high schooler. My sister, who was not as active as I was, stayed super skinny. Starting my freshman year I had to mind my weight just a bit, but nothing major. My junior year hit and boom I gained at least 30 pounds. And I was more active than ever taking a dance class at school. So I started riding my bike to a friends house near the school and we would walk to school. Still gaining. So we started doing aerobics after school. At this point I was either riding my bike several miles to school and back or doing aerobics after school, I didn’t eat lunch, and I had a very active dance class every school day. Oh, and I rarely ate lunch so I could save the money for something else. If I did it was an (unhealthy) sandwich. And I was never a big breakfast person. Maybe a pop tart or slim fast. And I still had a hard time maintaining my weight. Meanwhile my sister looked too thin. I was diagnosed with PCOS in my early 20s.

All this to say, if your daughters are also having what seams like an unusually hard time with their weight, I’d get them checked out.