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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 19, 2022 0:56:25 GMT
I had a dessert tantrum once. DH and I were at a school fundraiser where they had a dessert raffle. The tables sat 8-10 people and everyone had to write their bid amounts which would be added up for the whole table. The table with the highest bid would get to have their table’s representative to choose a dessert for their whole table from a huge banquet table of deliciousness first. There was everything from various cakes to donuts to cookies, cheesecakes, etc. Our table bid was the same as about six other tables so there was a race to the banquet table. The lady who was running for our table came back with a huge carrot cake which I absolutely detest. (I was currently rocking a knee walker at the time so I couldn’t personally do the running.) I would have been happy with absolutely anything else up there. I was so disappointed that I committed to pay $20 for a slice of carrot cake that I wasn’t even going to eat. We got a to go box for it and at least my kid got to eat it.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,060
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
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Post by scrappyesq on Apr 19, 2022 1:23:29 GMT
I was so looking forward to eating a ham and cheese croissant for lunch at work today. I bought the huge butter croissants from Costco on Friday and told each member of my family they could have 3 and 3 only and put a reminder post it on the box. I bought sliced Swiss cheese at Aldi on Saturday. I made an 8 lb spiral sliced ham for Easter and when my DH was packing up the leftover ham I reminded him to save some for sandwiches. When I got up to pack my lunch I discovered he had frozen all of the sliced ham and left nothing but a bag of chunks he cut from the butt in the refrigerator. I eat at my desk I can’t have ham chunks falling all over. I threw a tantrum and yelled at him and brought a salad to work. Then I apologized once I got to work and he forgave me. Have you ever thrown a fit over food or am I immature? Why yes. Yes I have had a food tantrum and I’m still feeling the effects many years later. DH and I started dating when I was in law school. At the time I was living at home with my parents to save on rent. Initially it was just me at home but during my third year my younger sister moved back because she got laid off. I’ve eaten oatmeal every day since I was 3, and my parents always made sure that I had my apples and cinnamon well stocked in the house. Honestly it wasn’t a huge deal because no one else in the house ate it. That is until one day my sister ate the last pack. So when I went downstairs for breakfast before class one morning THERE WASN’T ANY. 😡 if you watch “Friends” and remember the sandwich episode that was me screaming oatmeal at the top of my lungs. I called my then boyfriend DH hysterical and told him that I was packing clothes and coming to stay with him for the foreseeable future because no one had any respect for the fact that I needed oatmeal in the morning. When I got to his place there were at least six boxes of oatmeal waiting for me. And to this day when he happens to be the one who goes to the grocery store he buys six boxes at a time. In all the years we’ve been married I’ve never had to worry about running out (because yes I still eat oatmeal every morning). All of this because of a tantrum.
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 19, 2022 2:09:30 GMT
The one I remember the most was recovering from a hysterectomy (in a water bed). My husband was supposed to pick me up from the hospital at noon the next day and didn't get there until after five since the kids had a ball game. (Strike One). The next morning he had planned to have a garage sale and stayed outside all day and I could not get out of bed by myself (Strike Two). So for dinner that night as an "apology" he said he'd go to Burger King to get everyone dinner. I'm still in bed in a lot of pain (cuz I couldn't take the good meds). I tell him I am not very hungry but I just want a large fry. I hadn't eaten in two days. So he packs up the boys and heads to Burger King and hands the bag to our youngest for the drive home. Youngest asks if he can have some of my fries. Sure his dad says, he got a large. By the time they got home, that little turd had eaten 90% of the fries. My husband brings me the bag once they had taken all of their food out of the bag to eat in the kitchen. There were maybe ten fries. I was beyond pissed. My husband thought it was kind of funny. It was the day that my husband learned that I have a memory like no one else. For YEARS he got crap treatment when he was sick because it "wasn't really a big deal." I've really only been sick like that one time in my life and he turned into a complete moron. Now he is much better.
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Apr 19, 2022 2:20:05 GMT
You are validated. In family to avoid these things, my mom now takes the ham (or turkey, in this case) that she wants for her sandwich, wraps it & labels it, and my dad is NOT allowed in the kitchen to prep what is to go in the freezer until she's set aside what she wants. It is because of something like what happened to you that she does this.
I'm a wee bit triggered by the whole 'leaving a kid on the side of the road' stories. Developmental psychologists now find that it does cause a degree of trauma & it isn't something a parent should ever do.
And the spaghetti thing? Yeah, your sister was being a jerk... but major overreaction. For all my mom's faults, she would've said she caused the mess & she'd have cleaned it up.
Sorry. Been reading a lot more about attachment, brain development, etc, and I definitely get more triggered by some things than I used to, in that I can't see the humour to the same extent. That said, I suspect that even though she'd think it wasn't right in those two cases for parents to do those things, she'd also not think they'd do permanent damage if they were one-offs vs situations where that kind of thing happened daily.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Apr 19, 2022 9:58:26 GMT
I can relate to so many of these stories.
Growing up, we were kinda poor, so there were no restaurant meals (and their leftovers to fight over). But there was always enough food at home as long as you ate the meal that had been cooked by mom.
It was a rude awakening when i married & lived with my now exdh, that he certainly didn't hold food ownership sacred.
We did go out to restaurants, and goodness forbid I want to take home part of my meal. He would scarf it down within hours of getting home.
If I bought a family pack of cookies because I really wanted some, they might end up all eat while he gamed that night, before I could even grab one.
Didn't matter that we always had a house full of food. He had zero respect for what others might also want to eat.
To avoid all that trouble, special or takeout food is labeled in my refrigerator now. If it has a name, you better not DARE to eat it. Sometimes it's the only fair way.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Apr 19, 2022 11:10:12 GMT
You are validated. In family to avoid these things, my mom now takes the ham (or turkey, in this case) that she wants for her sandwich, wraps it & labels it, and my dad is NOT allowed in the kitchen to prep what is to go in the freezer until she's set aside what she wants. It is because of something like what happened to you that she does this. I'm a wee bit triggered by the whole 'leaving a kid on the side of the road' stories. Developmental psychologists now find that it does cause a degree of trauma & it isn't something a parent should ever do. And the spaghetti thing? Yeah, your sister was being a jerk... but major overreaction. For all my mom's faults, she would've said she caused the mess & she'd have cleaned it up. Sorry. Been reading a lot more about attachment, brain development, etc, and I definitely get more triggered by some things than I used to, in that I can't see the humour to the same extent. That said, I suspect that even though she'd think it wasn't right in those two cases for parents to do those things, she'd also not think they'd do permanent damage if they were one-offs vs situations where that kind of thing happened daily. I hear you. I also think I’m a better mother because my own mother messed up and lost her shit from time to time. It’s okay to disappoint the ones we love as long as we make amends.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Apr 19, 2022 11:24:15 GMT
You are validated. In family to avoid these things, my mom now takes the ham (or turkey, in this case) that she wants for her sandwich, wraps it & labels it, and my dad is NOT allowed in the kitchen to prep what is to go in the freezer until she's set aside what she wants. It is because of something like what happened to you that she does this. I'm a wee bit triggered by the whole 'leaving a kid on the side of the road' stories. Developmental psychologists now find that it does cause a degree of trauma & it isn't something a parent should ever do.And the spaghetti thing? Yeah, your sister was being a jerk... but major overreaction. For all my mom's faults, she would've said she caused the mess & she'd have cleaned it up. Sorry. Been reading a lot more about attachment, brain development, etc, and I definitely get more triggered by some things than I used to, in that I can't see the humour to the same extent. That said, I suspect that even though she'd think it wasn't right in those two cases for parents to do those things, she'd also not think they'd do permanent damage if they were one-offs vs situations where that kind of thing happened daily. I hear you. I also think I’m a better mother because my own mother messed up and lost her shit from time to time. It’s okay to disappoint the ones we love as long as we make amends. I'm sorry - I shouldn't have mentioned that story, as it had nothing to do with food!
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Post by KelleeM on Apr 19, 2022 11:42:41 GMT
This thread was very timely.
Yesterday my dd (almost 32) got up and took her dd to school, worked several hours of OT from home then did our grocery shopping (store was closed on Sunday when I usually go). She brought home the groceries, lugged them upstairs while her brother slept, put them all away and then washed the dishes she had asked him to wash earlier in the day (he had caused a good 90% of them). She had a craving for pizza from a place that doesn’t deliver and ordered doordash. It arrived and she was so excited to have some. She opened the box and was immediately silent, then started crying…she had ordered fresh mozzarella instead of the regular shredded stuff thinking “of course I want fresh cheese” and not realizing what she was doing. The pizza had way less than 50% cheese coverage and was really just dough with sauce. It was good dough with sauce but the 6 year old and I were the only one who would touch it. She seriously lost her shit and I totally understood. The fact that it was her own mistake made it even worse.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 19, 2022 12:30:39 GMT
My "hamtrum" was at a really nice restaurant on our anniversary. I got up to use the restroom and DH finished my dinner! He thought I was done. I was not.
Our DS had no respect for others food when he was a teen. I used to hide DH's ice cream in a Tupperware container made for storing lettuce. Just labeling it Dad's was not enough. I DID buy ice cream for DS, but of course he'd eat it quickly.
I validate all of you!
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Apr 19, 2022 19:38:51 GMT
You are validated. In family to avoid these things, my mom now takes the ham (or turkey, in this case) that she wants for her sandwich, wraps it & labels it, and my dad is NOT allowed in the kitchen to prep what is to go in the freezer until she's set aside what she wants. It is because of something like what happened to you that she does this. I'm a wee bit triggered by the whole 'leaving a kid on the side of the road' stories. Developmental psychologists now find that it does cause a degree of trauma & it isn't something a parent should ever do. And the spaghetti thing? Yeah, your sister was being a jerk... but major overreaction. For all my mom's faults, she would've said she caused the mess & she'd have cleaned it up. Sorry. Been reading a lot more about attachment, brain development, etc, and I definitely get more triggered by some things than I used to, in that I can't see the humour to the same extent. That said, I suspect that even though she'd think it wasn't right in those two cases for parents to do those things, she'd also not think they'd do permanent damage if they were one-offs vs situations where that kind of thing happened daily. I hear you. I also think I’m a better mother because my own mother messed up and lost her shit from time to time. It’s okay to disappoint the ones we love as long as we make amends. Thanks The 'she' in my post is Dr Vanessa LaPointe. The one thing I thought I disagreed with her on is she actually says don't directly say, "I'm sorry," to a young child because it puts the burden on them to absolve the adult for their behaviour. Just say, "What happened this morning when Mama yelled? I did that wrong' or along those lines. It's in her book (Discipline without Damage).
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Apr 19, 2022 19:40:55 GMT
I hear you. I also think I’m a better mother because my own mother messed up and lost her shit from time to time. It’s okay to disappoint the ones we love as long as we make amends. I'm sorry - I shouldn't have mentioned that story, as it had nothing to do with food! No worries. I think there's value in it, a lot of folks don't know about this new research. They also now say don't do the thing at the park where you start to leave without them... yes, the child will run after you, but it triggers a safety/attachment thing in their brains & it can be problematic. Better to pick 'em up & let them cry it out.
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casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,517
Jun 29, 2014 14:40:44 GMT
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Post by casii on Apr 19, 2022 19:55:17 GMT
I think everyone is in good company with many similar stories. I have a DH who can't leave food alone. I'll make a recipe and everyone will sit down to the table to eat. He'll remain in the kitchen, adding this, adding that, to perfectly good food. He'll often spend so long doing so that people will be done eating before he gets to the table. Just last night, after a day of surprise snow, heavy rains and bone chilling cold, I made my mom's vegetable beef soup recipe and he added rice, spinach and a load of hot sauce to it. I told him Mom was going to come haunt him from beyond the grave. Early in our marriage, he was famous for asking after I had made a family recipe, that I get his mom's recipe. His mom is an amazing woman and I am so lucky to win the lottery in the MIL department, but she is not a cook. DH is also a habitual eater of my restaurant leftovers without asking and is notorious for creating a dish by combining several leftovers into one but in each leftover container, he'll leave maybe 1-2 tablespoons so he doesn't have to do more dishes. Heathen!
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Apr 19, 2022 20:01:32 GMT
My DH doesn't like to share certain things. When we're out, he always says he won't share, but he will buy me my own. He's one of the most generous people I know, but don't mess with his desserts!
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 19, 2022 20:11:41 GMT
I can relate to so many of these stories. Growing up, we were kinda poor, so there were no restaurant meals (and their leftovers to fight over). But there was always enough food at home as long as you ate the meal that had been cooked by mom. It was a rude awakening when i married & lived with my now exdh, that he certainly didn't hold food ownership sacred. We did go out to restaurants, and goodness forbid I want to take home part of my meal. He would scarf it down within hours of getting home. If I bought a family pack of cookies because I really wanted some, they might end up all eat while he gamed that night, before I could even grab one. Didn't matter that we always had a house full of food. He had zero respect for what others might also want to eat. To avoid all that trouble, special or takeout food is labeled in my refrigerator now. If it has a name, you better not DARE to eat it. Sometimes it's the only fair way. Takeout was labeled in the restaurant before we ever got home. Either with my pen or someone's fingernail. No one dared take someone else's meal.
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Post by gramasue on Apr 23, 2022 15:56:16 GMT
Why yes. Yes I have had a food tantrum and I’m still feeling the effects many years later. DH and I started dating when I was in law school. At the time I was living at home with my parents to save on rent. Initially it was just me at home but during my third year my younger sister moved back because she got laid off. I’ve eaten oatmeal every day since I was 3, and my parents always made sure that I had my apples and cinnamon well stocked in the house. Honestly it wasn’t a huge deal because no one else in the house ate it. That is until one day my sister ate the last pack. So when I went downstairs for breakfast before class one morning THERE WASN’T ANY. 😡 if you watch “Friends” and remember the sandwich episode that was me screaming oatmeal at the top of my lungs. I called my then boyfriend DH hysterical and told him that I was packing clothes and coming to stay with him for the foreseeable future because no one had any respect for the fact that I needed oatmeal in the morning. When I got to his place there were at least six boxes of oatmeal waiting for me. And to this day when he happens to be the one who goes to the grocery store he buys six boxes at a time. In all the years we’ve been married I’ve never had to worry about running out (because yes I still eat oatmeal every morning). All of this because of a tantrum. scrappyesq - I love your story and I love your husband!
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Post by malibou on Apr 23, 2022 16:19:08 GMT
You are validated. In family to avoid these things, my mom now takes the ham (or turkey, in this case) that she wants for her sandwich, wraps it & labels it, and my dad is NOT allowed in the kitchen to prep what is to go in the freezer until she's set aside what she wants. It is because of something like what happened to you that she does this. I'm a wee bit triggered by the whole 'leaving a kid on the side of the road' stories. Developmental psychologists now find that it does cause a degree of trauma & it isn't something a parent should ever do. And the spaghetti thing? Yeah, your sister was being a jerk... but major overreaction. For all my mom's faults, she would've said she caused the mess & she'd have cleaned it up. Sorry. Been reading a lot more about attachment, brain development, etc, and I definitely get more triggered by some things than I used to, in that I can't see the humour to the same extent. That said, I suspect that even though she'd think it wasn't right in those two cases for parents to do those things, she'd also not think they'd do permanent damage if they were one-offs vs situations where that kind of thing happened daily. Hmm, interesting take, my sister teasing about hard rolls again, makes her a jerk? I think it is easy to assume that there was something more going on with my mom when she overreacted. Her reaction was out of the ordinary enough that we don't bring it up in front of her.
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Post by maryland on Apr 23, 2022 18:08:13 GMT
I would be mad too! You went to a lot of work to let everyone know. I would have treated my self to something take out for lunch to make up for it. My daughter's birthday was last month so when she was home for spring break we got take out from a japanese steakhouse. Her dad took her leftovers to lunch the next day and not his leftovers, even thought they got different things. Well, her sister said she could have hers, and my daughter labeled it with her name. My husband ate that for dinner that night! So the next day I got my daughter another dinner from that place and let her pick an extra side. It's so frustrating when a family member does that!
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