Scrapbooking about grief

 I wanted to express my condolences for your recent loss. I am a long time lurker on this board, but felt compelled to respond with a couple of suggestions for you, in hopes it may help you begin to process your grief.

I have grieved the passing of several family members in recent years. I fully intend to make layouts in their memory, but I have not been ready to actually make the pages yet. I have papers picked out, ideas in my head, but I just can't begin quite yet. Everything I have gathered for these projects is all safely tucked away until the time is right. But I will say, I feel I am getting close to starting one of them. I think you just need to go at your own pace and just do what feels right. Maybe start small with picking out some supplies. Do you have some beautiful paper in your daughter's favorite colors? Maybe some paper with her favorite flowers? You may want to just pull some things together and make a page kit that you can put away until it feels right to scrap.  

I can think of two ladies I follow on You Tube who have shared layouts on losing a loved one.

The first would be Becki Adams. She is a Creative Team member for SCT magazine as well as Simple Stories. She lost her young son Austin a few years ago unexpectedly. She has shared beautiful pages honoring her son's memory, both with exposed and hidden journaling. I found a few examples below:

Austin's Library (hidden journaling)

Happy Fall Memories (exposed journaling)

Another scrapper I follow is Laura Alberts. Every year since her father passed, the first layout of her December Daily project is a memorial page to him.

I hope you can find those suggestions helpful. Again, I am truly sorry for your loss.

This group is so very thoughtful, sensitive and caring. I had tears in my eyes as I read the responses and I add my sincere condolences for your loss jeremysgirl. I have little to add except for sharing that I created a small book for my Mum, who died following a stroke a few years ago. It's not a book I choose to look at very often, but the comfort is to be found in simply knowing that it's there on my shelf; reassurance that those memories won't be forgotten, that I won't forget how she was and what she was like. There are days when I do take it from the shelf and look through it and whilst I find it sad, it's also rather comforting too.

I guess that's my way of saying that whatever you choose to do, it will be the right thing for you. Oh, and only you will know when you are ready to begin - or not.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my Mom when I was 11 years old.

The very first page I ever scrapbooked of her was of my little boy at her grave, this would be some 27 years later. I cried when I made the page, and wasn't sure I wanted to put it in an album, it feels so...personal and vulnerable. I let it sit in an Iris case for a long while as I decided what to do with it.

The experience of that memory, and the subsequent processing of it while making the page added another layer of healing I think.

Since making this page, I have scrapbooked a few more pages of photos with my Mom. I am able and willing to look beyond the circumstances surrounding her death and remember some of the happy times as well.

So, for me, I think the experience was valuable, and while painful at the time, it was worth it.

If you make the project, you don't have to decide immediately whether you want to share it or keep it private. Just take it one step at a time, and I think your heart will guide you. ♥️

I have not experienced the loss that you have, but I think it might be worth trying. If it is too difficult or painful then you can just put it away.
It might be helpful, or it might not, but I think it is worth trying.
When I experience a loss I just free verse write my memories on a file in my computer whenever the need or desire arose. I then later edit it and print it up and fold it up and stick it in my scrapbook when I am up to scrapping the person who is gone.

I hadn’t been scrapping for quite a few years when my daughter passed away. 10 months after she died I began scrapping again in the form of a memory planner. I included pictures of her that I had on my phone or more often, that popped up in a Facebook memory that week and added them to the weekly spread. I also used the pages between the months in the planner (like the month at a glance) to include more pictures and memories of her. At the time it felt therapeutic to me - I liked including her in the planner just as I was doing for the rest of the family. When it was time for holidays like Mother’s Day, her birthday, thanksgiving and Christmas, I wrote about how it was hard not having her there and included more pics .

That jammed-packed planner was nov 20- Dec 21 (14 months) so it included two rounds of holidays I included yer.

This year I moved to a PL format. I’m not including the pics of her this year so far like I was in the planner. I’ve included some things- like the week of the anniversary of her death I included a lot. I have flip pockets on those pages to make lots of room for the things I wanted to include and well as a little “privacy.” I will also add things for her birthday and on my walk this morning I thought how perfect the new senses kit would be for her and I’m going to include an insert of that in the week I use that kit all about her.

I have started a family stories album including our traditions and stories from a larger period where I wasn’t scrapping where she will be featured as much as the other girls. I really haven’t done much with it yet though. I am also thinking about doing a travelers notebook of just her- using some favorite random photos of her and capturing memories and stories I love. While I *want* to do this, I haven’t started… I think I’m not really ready for that right now.

I guess my point is there is no right or wrong and everyone would feel differently about it -even yourself will feel differently about it at different times. I loved doing my weekly PL capturing my life- still a good life worth celebrating and remembering. I don’t know that I would have loved it so soon after her death as I wasn’t scrapping then I don’t know…And honestly, the time spent is kind of a nice reprieve from grief for me - which may be why I’m hesitant to start projects that more heavily feature her. I spend time reflecting, grieving, and processing during other activities such as long walks and yoga.

Thinking peaceful thoughts for you. I would suggest trying it- it will either be therapeutic or it won’t, and then just put it away and perhaps try again another time. You are so very early in your grief, that it might not be right now but maybe it will be later. Or maybe it will be just the thing. ❤️

jeremysgirl. I think I would put photos in pockets and come back to them later.
Photos from the funeral and thoughts of the memories— put them in pockets.
Thoughts of you and from family and other pictures, put them in some pockets.
When you are ready to deal with the death of a child, you’ll have photos and thoughts there, but you’ll also have a moment to get your thoughts together.
Losing a family member is hard. Losing a child is the hardest. Gather what you can now and piece it all together when you’re ready.
That’s the beauty of pocket pages—they can be adjusted based on how many photos you have and how many memories you want to (and are able to) remember.
Part of me would want to put all Esther photos in a small album to acknowledge her life, but put other relevant photos in albums that are saved but can be dealt with later. Not sure if that makes sense but I want to put that out there as a grieving parent option.

I was able to find small pink fabric 6x6 scrapbooks after my dd died.  I did a small story of her life, with baby pics, family time, school stuff and travel pics, right up to her modeling her grad dress.  She died a few months shy of graduation.

This was 18 years ago, so the technology wasn't really there, but I did make these books, all 8 of them and gave them to family on her birthday, a year later.  Mine was fully complete but the ones for my side of the family and my then H's side of the family included those pics that would be relevant to them.

It was cathartic and many tears were shed during this project.  This way I *Knew* that I had done everything possible to make sure that the immediate family wouldn't forget about her.

It’s not the same as losing a child but when my granddaughter died last year I turned to junk journaling instead. Just playing with no photos is my escape now.

For December Daily, I just bought Ali’s journal and filled that out since I didn’t feel like celebrating Christmas or decorating or taking pictures. I don’t know how long this will last but I am enjoying junk journaling a lot. I don’t have to think about life, it’s just making books from scratch and decorating the pages.