Vegetarian living with meat eater?

That's tough.

It's different, but I need to eat gluten-free for medical reasons (not celiac) and DH and DS are fine with gluten. I am the primary cook but I don't think it's fair to force them to eat the way I need to just because I don't want to cook separate things, or to make their meals second-class citizens and prioritize how I eat. We also value mealtimes together, so I'm not interested in DH and I cooking separate meals per our eating types.

So I plan dishes that have easy modifications for my needs and generally similar to how we've always eaten for them (which is still healthy and varied, just with some gluten). It's not the most convenient, but it respects all of our preferences and needs. Some of our meals our gluten-free for everyone (we eat a lot of main course salads) but if I'm making pasta, I'm not going to force zoodles on them because they love normal pasta (though I do add some, along with their real pasta).

I think starting with more meatless meals is a good idea, but I think just throwing a chicken breast in the oven and calling it good isn't going to work out great. I think the person who's making the change needs to bear the brunt of the change, not the person who prefers to stick with how things are. Maybe some meal prep over weekends could help find a good balance while staying manageable during the week. 

ETA: I think it’s different when a relationship begins with different eating styles than when one person changes their eating style years into a relationship.

jeremysgirl you know that I am vegetarian but not by choice. I do have pork 3-4 a month. But allllllll other meats, including sea food, I am allergic to.

Dd has to ha e good protein due to her medical needs. But she also loves fruits and vegetables.

Dh likes some vegetables but not broccoli, asparagus, Brussel sprouts, and zucchini.

For my sanity we have 2 meatless meals a week, sometimes 3.

I do Buddha bowls with basmati rice and a lot of vegetables. Some raw, some sautéed.

I also do salads right now because it's freaking hotter than Satan's arm pit (106° yesterday).

And Wednesday is breakfast dinner because it is IgG day and dd gets nausea.

Other meals, I have several vegetables and lettuce prepped so I can enjoy dinner and eat what I fix dh and dd but then also have things I like and they can eat them too.

So the biggest help us meal prep. I prep for 3 days. Lettuce is washed and cut. Vegetables are cut up in different ways. Fruit is washed and either ready to eat (cherriew) or cut up (watermelon).

I also prep my vegan ranch dressing.

So instead of cooking 2 meals, my meals are prepped and I just have to cook for dh and dd and I can eat from their meal and sub in extra stuff from my prep.

I don't push my meatlessness on dh. But doing the above has made things easier.

Because there are 3 people with various needs, I have to prep or I would hate meal time.

This is my life. DD is a vegetarian, although technically a pescatarian because she will occasionally eat shrimp or tilapia.

My dad lives with us, and he is a meat and potatoes guy, as is DH.

Some days cooking is much easier than others. If I am making a meat, potatoes, vegetables and salad DD will fix herself a plant based protein and eat the sides.

If we are grilling DH will grill her a portobello mushroom cap or a beyond burger.

It gets tricky when fixing a dish where everything is mixed together like a chicken broccoli rice or rotel chicken.

What I have learned to do, although as a meat eater it doesn't taste quite as good, is to fix the dish without meat while cooking meat in another pan. Then DD or I will take out about 2 servings without the meat then stir the meat in right before serving.

Yes, it is a bit more work but easier than making two separate meals.

Week before last I was making vegetable lasagna and I assembled a smaller dish for DD and then put shredded chicken on top of our larger pan.

DD is ok if I am using chicken broth in a dish although I do try not to use beef broth in any dish she might be eating.

Give it a try, it is really not that much extra work and Jeremy might not even notice or care if you aren't eating meat.

We have a vegetarian in our family of meat eaters. I don’t find it all that difficult to cook for her along with our family. If I’m making spaghetti, I do two pots of sauce, one with and one without meat. Grilling hamburgers, add in a portabella mushroom or impossible patty to the grill. Roast with potatoes and veggies, make extra servings of veggies and a big salad. I frequently do an extra sheet of assorted roast veggies for her to make up for the meat portion the others are eating.

My DD lives with a vegetarian

He respects her dietary needs & she respects his

She will have shrimp or chicken occasionally and he will keep his gluten items separate ( some meat substitutes are all gluten lol )

It takes respect & grace to each other She makes a stir fry and throws her shrimp in after or something like that.

I think it means that you both need to sit down and discuss what you need from each other when the other is tasked with making dinner.

What does he need from you, does he think a chicken breast or burger with what your eating is ok? What do you need from him? If he grilling can he grill veggies for you? ( squash grills up nicely )

Have a discussion before you switch AND at the first discussion plan a date when you will revisit how it’s going. If it a pre planned discussion then it won’t feel like a complaint or a confrontation.

I’m sure that there will be things your not thinking about now that you’ll find out later.

Could you mix it up a bit? We eat meat, Dh loves in particular loves meat, but we stick to mainly chicken, and fish. We also eat vegetarian a couple of nights a week for the health benefits and for the planet 😊If I make his portion big enough with rice or whatever and he loves piles of veg, then he’s happy with that.
You could make a list of meals that can easily be one with/one without like steak, fries and salad, pork fillet with lentils etc. and do those in between perhaps?
Good luck 😊

years ago I was the vegetarian and ex was meat eater. I used to just make him something meaty to go with the rest of my meal. I would eat everything but the meat and his meat was more like a side than the main dish. I would have meat-free meals as well but we regularly ate something meat free on occasion anyway. I was the main cook and I didn't mind throwing a chicken breast of pork chop on the grill back then. (I'm vegan now and my partner is also vegan. If I were to find myself single again, I would never cook meat again and it would definitely be a deal breaker.)

This is actually a very frequent setup, jeremysgirl , at least in my generation (millennials). I know several vegans and vegetarians who live with flexitarian . It doesn't work when the vegan/vegetarian partner is a vocal activist trying to convert others to their lifestyle. Otherwise, it's all good as long as the flexitarian (or omnivore as seems to be your case) partner accepts the change and learns to pick up some thoughtful habits in the process (picking up a meat alternative you like when at the store, not throwing a tantrum over 2 different main courses at the Christmas table, no mocking, etc.). 

Sounds like you'll be adopting a pescatarian lifestyle so you should see how feasible it is to "link up" with your husband for those meals. Are there fish and sea food meals you both (and your budget) agree on? If his tastes lean towards fattier fish, don't try to negotiate lean fish. Going with the flow and his limited flexibility is best since you're the one changing up lifestyle and thus affecting the cooking your household is used to. I'd use these 100% compatible meals as your anchor dinners and lunches through the week, the ones that are extra special because you have more time together those days for ex. I'd try to make vegetarian versions of some meals you know he enjoys to add extra "shared" food to your fishy meal plan (goat cheese and cherry tomato quiche is usually a massive hit for vegatarians and not-very-flexi omnivores). Finally, identify all the meals he loves but you can easily skip the meat part from just so you have some extra padding for those days when you want to share without depriving him of his usual fare. Breakfast with eggs, whatever kind of potatoes you usually do, some pan-fried tomatoes and the likes where you omit the bacon/sausage would work great. He'd get to share some of his comfort food without your change in diet impacting your meal at all. That only leaves a few different meals for the both of you through the week, nothing that is dramatic or particularly difficult to handle without some meal prep. 

Best of luck!

I see that, clearly you’ll do what is right in your relationship. In her mind having a second/3rd discussion without a pre planned check in point could be seen as a ‘called to the principles office’ type thing like there’s a huge issue, when it’s really a hey could we do this or add this to our routine type thing. Sometimes an unplanned ‘we need to talk’ can be scary in a relationship. Even if it’s just about diet. Lol.

Whereas we are going to check in with each other every 2-3-4 weeks to see if needs have changed or need to be tweaked felt more supportive to her. They did 2 weeks when the first moved in then monthly for a bit & now they just wrap it in with grocery planning. This made her keep her points to herself when she was aggravated and it was a calmer type discussion later. But you know your relationship better so do what works for you.
Then again maybe if he thinks it’s just for 2 weeks he will give it a try. Then tell you what works & what doesn’t

My brother is a carnivore (omnivore) and my SIL is vegetarian.  They've been married for 25 years.  They ate this way when they got together.

I think they eat out a lot.

At home, they cook both.  My nephew eats meat, my niece not so much (I think there might be a couple of things she eats).  They all like pasta.

I would not appreciate someone telling me what I could eat, so I would definitely find a way to accommodate both eating styles.

I am a pescatarian. Dh is a meat eater. My 2 daughters are also pescatarian. (Only one lives with us.) Both my sons are meat eaters. Youngest eats almost no vegetables.

When everyone was living at home, I did a lot of Mexican, Asian and pasta. Easy to have vegetarian or with meat.

My dh likes almost all the sides so it easy to make meals. He cooks the meat he wants to go with what I make. The only seafood he eats is shrimp. I like making bowls. Some kind of grain for the base. Veggies and whatever protein people want to add.