breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,381 
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on Oct 10, 2022 14:27:46 GMT
Do you go into their room without asking? DH was redoing his closet, and misplaced the thing that keeps the hangy bar in place (wooden round circle thing). I got tired of trying to find it, so first, I went into older dd's room (she was present at the time) to see if she still had one (we replaced her hanging closet rod with shelves years ago) but it was nailed on so I couldn't unscrew it. Then I went into younger dd (15) room but her closet didn't have one, then I went into DS room and he still had one and I borrowed it. Later 15-year-old came into my room ranting that I invaded her privacy... because dun dun dun I left her closet door open. Little does she know I often go in there to look out the window while she is at school because her window has a better view of our street than the living room, due to the placement of our garage... sometimes I want to know what a noise is outside without standing in the front yard. Teenagers are fun... and no she's not hiding anything illegal in her closet, I'm sure why she is so overprotective of it. Any fun teenager overreaction stories? Please share  |
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sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,652
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Oct 10, 2022 14:34:55 GMT
Might be an unpopular opinion, but yes. I don't go snooping but same as you, looking for something or possibly looking out the window.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,408
Location: Dallas Texas
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Post by SabrinaP on Oct 10, 2022 14:47:15 GMT
No I don’t, but mostly because I don’t want to see the disaster that is their rooms.
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Oct 10, 2022 14:58:59 GMT
We always when into DS room when needed whether he was there or not. He was never one to be dramatic, so it was no big deal to him. I think I really lucked out with my overly mellow teen.
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Post by tenacious on Oct 10, 2022 15:14:12 GMT
Yes. I go into my teens’ rooms at will (when they are not inside), with no apologies. I don’t snoop, I do what I need to do and leave. They know this, and have never complained.
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Post by SallyPA on Oct 10, 2022 15:16:51 GMT
I used to. And then I saw things I didn’t want to see. My daughter gave me the same spiel about invading her privacy. I used to think (prior to my kids being teens) that I had a right to access their spaces since it was my house and all that. Just one of many, many parenting opinions that my kids challenged and after reconsidering, I changed my mind on. They are allowed to have their privacy. Now, if I had concerns about their safety, I would reconsider. I’ve dealt with that too. Let me just say for real, that I have parenting teens PTSD.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,583
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Oct 10, 2022 15:19:00 GMT
Yes, absolutely. The linen closet is in the kids' room.
If they're in there with the door closed, I do knock. That's pretty much the extent of their expectation of privacy.
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 10, 2022 15:19:01 GMT
Absolutely I will go in their rooms. I will go in my 27 years old son room if I need to. I pay the mortgage I should be able to go into any room in the house.
I don't go in snooping or for no reason. I might go in to my 14yr old to be sure she is keeping it halfway cleaned.. she is a bit disgusting about not taking her trash out and stuff like that.
I don't really go into son's room (he's 27) but if I need to I do. He has never said anything. I usually tell him too. I will say hey I had to look for something in the closet. He just shrugs.
I think only once I had to do an inspection years ago.. I can't even remember what it was, that I had to look in every drawer and closet for something..
If they are home I do knock.. especially son.. he does get his privacy.. that would be weird to walk in on him.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 8, 2024 6:50:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2022 15:33:21 GMT
If my teen DS is home and the door is closed...I NEVER, EVER walk in without knocking and getting acknowledgement to enter. Any guesses why?  ?? GAH! When he is at school, I actually have to walk through his room to get to his terrace where we hang out clothes. So I am sure he knows that I go in his room when he isn't there. But I do try and give him his space and respect his privacy. I never know if he is going to be warm and welcoming or hissy like a mad cat! |
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,895
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Oct 10, 2022 15:41:14 GMT
Only occasionally. The access to our HVAC is through my daughter's closet so I don't feel I need to ask permission to do anything related to that; but for most other things I ask permission.
I don't like them rooting around in my room either.
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Post by maryland on Oct 10, 2022 16:00:26 GMT
If I need something, I go in. My daughters never cared. Also I did the laundry and put it away. But like someone said above, I didn't want to see the mess so I would usually avoid! I never had a reason to snoop on my kids, so that was never an issue.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,986
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Oct 10, 2022 16:07:26 GMT
I do go into their rooms. When they are in there, I knock first. When they are not in there, I just walk in. I have not felt the need to snoop for anything though, yet...
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Post by malibou on Oct 10, 2022 16:14:04 GMT
My Ds is super chill. I knock before going in because I want him to do that with us. But if he isn't in there, I just go right in as he doesn't care in the least. He never have us any reason to snoop, so I don't.
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Post by hop2 on Oct 10, 2022 16:18:41 GMT
My House my rooms.
No, I didn’t snoop thru their stuff. But if I had a reason to go in I went in.
And they went in my room, to use the bathroom or to put something or get something.
It’s not a big deal
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Post by ExpatBackHome on Oct 10, 2022 16:21:38 GMT
I go in when he’s not there if I need to, I don’t snoop around but I would if he gave me reason to think I should. If he’s home, I knock before entering. He doesn’t care if I’m in his room when he’s not there. He’d rather I stay out if he is in his room 😆
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Post by epeanymous on Oct 10, 2022 16:39:20 GMT
I basically use the guideline "would I feel intruded on if someone did this to me." So if a kid went into my room looking for something they are allowed to use and think they left there or is there, sure--I'd look for something, fix something, etc in my teen's room. I would not flip through personal papers or rummage around just because though.
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Post by birdy on Oct 10, 2022 16:57:50 GMT
My oldest recently moved out. But I have a 16 y.o. at home still (DD). I go in to open her window if she's at school and its warm out), to set clean laundry on her bed and (surprisingly) to "tuck her in" at night. She still likes to have me come in and give her a hug before bed, which I love! Other than that, I don't really go in unless its something necessary. If she's in there with the door closed, I always knock. Same as she does for me.
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,001
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 10, 2022 16:58:53 GMT
Do you go into their room without asking? DH was redoing his closet, and misplaced the thing that keeps the hangy bar in place (wooden round circle thing). I got tired of trying to find it, so first, I went into older dd's room (she was present at the time) to see if she still had one (we replaced her hanging closet rod with shelves years ago) but it was nailed on so I couldn't unscrew it. Then I went into younger dd (15) room but her closet didn't have one, then I went into DS room and he still had one and I borrowed it. Later 15-year-old came into my room ranting that I invaded her privacy... because dun dun dun I left her closet door open. Little does she know I often go in there to look out the window while she is at school because her window has a better view of our street than the living room, due to the placement of our garage... sometimes I want to know what a noise is outside without standing in the front yard. Teenagers are fun... and no she's not hiding anything illegal in her closet, I'm sure why she is so overprotective of it.Any fun teenager overreaction stories? Please share She probably has some favorite items in that area that she really likes and is attached too. |
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,001
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 10, 2022 17:01:07 GMT
The kids know I go into the rooms to open their window, grab their dirty laundry, or grab blankets/bedding that needs to be washed.
If they are home and not in their rooms, I just say hey going to grab xyz or out xyz on your bed.
If they are in their rooms, I always knock.
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garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,770
Location: So. Calif.
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Post by garcia5050 on Oct 10, 2022 17:04:01 GMT
DD keeps her door closed, so I knock if I need to come in. When she’s not home, I do what I need and leave. And I make sure the door is closed well. I once didn’t do that and our chihuahua found an open bag of M&Ms.
i do want to add that my kids are in general not rule-breakers, so I don’t have a need to snoop. If I was suspicious of something, I think I would feel ok with snooping.
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Post by katiejane on Oct 10, 2022 17:31:22 GMT
Not unless they let me in or ask me to get something.
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Post by Linda on Oct 10, 2022 19:04:45 GMT
Like the others - if they are home, I knock and wait for acknowledgement...and I expect the same courtesy from them. If they aren't home - I'll go in to drop off or fetch laundry, collect dirty dishes, hunt for a cat etc... - but I don't dig through their stuff
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Post by belgravia on Oct 10, 2022 19:11:45 GMT
Never. I never go into my daughters bedroom, bathroom or office without being invited in. I can’t stand the mess! She keeps all her doors closed to keep the dog out and also to prevent me from complaining about the state of everything.
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Post by Zee on Oct 10, 2022 19:21:35 GMT
Seeing as how it's, to quote Ice Cube's dad, MY Muthafuckin house, and not to mention that they never hesitated to go into my room looking for me or in DD's case looking to borrow something, sure. But only to find something.
Actually not entirely true--I remember getting fed up a few times and just going on a cleaning spree with my son especially. He knew it was a possibility and to hide anything he didn't want found, or to clean it himself. He didn't like it but he liked cleaning even less.Ugghh
He's back home for now and I have gone in to grab laundry and dishes. He's still a slob, though not as bad as when he was a teen.
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Post by huskermom98 on Oct 10, 2022 19:46:47 GMT
Yes, I go into their rooms, but not to snoop. If they are in their rooms I knock first. I will look through their piles of crap is I need to (whether or not they are home, and whether or not they know I am...usually because they have lost something) although I am hesitant to do that anymore in DS17's room because the last time I did I found a sealed bag with a loaf of french bread...and I only know it used to be french bread because that's what I saw on the label as I screamed and ran it out to the garbage can because it was gray and liquidy...  |
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Oct 10, 2022 19:53:05 GMT
Yes. I don’t snoop around but I do go in there.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,084
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Oct 10, 2022 20:26:01 GMT
Mine are adults now... but i tried to respect their privacy... knock and all....
UNTIL my youngest locked me out... i told him im breaking this door down if you dont open... and i did kick it in... then he had no door... he also had no freedom or privacy for a looonngg time... he did eventually get a shower curtain.. lmao
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Post by KelleeM on Oct 10, 2022 20:34:19 GMT
My kids are adults. I go in dd’s room to close windows or get something for dgd. I don’t snoop. She has been journaling for the past several months and leaves it out in the open at times, I don’t even think about reading it. My kids knock on my door but the little one (almost 7)thinks she can walk right in lately. She used to be good about knocking.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Oct 10, 2022 21:38:47 GMT
That's a house issue and not the same as going through her things. Even now that DD is at college, I don't go in there much, but I'm about to need it cleaned out, and I'm the only one here to do it.
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Post by AussieMeg on Oct 10, 2022 22:01:44 GMT
DSO and I don’t go snooping in DS’s room, but every now and then we will go in there when he’s not home to clean the pigsty. And yes, we’ve found things that he wouldn’t want us to see, but interestingly he has never gone on a rant about us invading his privacy.
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?? GAH!
