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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jul 15, 2023 4:47:29 GMT
No matter how many times I’ve tried to relocate that one pile to another area that would be less problematic it doesn’t even last a day. He REALLY likes that one spot, LOL. Store something that he uses every single day in that spot. Once he has to move his pile every time to get in there, he might agree to change his spot! Until is becomes a pain point for him, you will get nowhere. Right now it only bothers you. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 15, 2023 4:50:13 GMT
No matter how many times I’ve tried to relocate that one pile to another area that would be less problematic it doesn’t even last a day. He REALLY likes that one spot, LOL. Store something that he uses every single day in that spot. Once he has to move his pile every time to get in there, he might agree to change his spot! Until is becomes a pain point for him, you will get nowhere. Right now it only bothers you. I really wouldn’t even mind if his pile was INSIDE that cabinet as long as 1) I don’t have to see it every day, all day and 2) I could still open that cabinet door. 🤣 |
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Post by lg on Jul 15, 2023 12:11:40 GMT
I’m loving reading these comments so much, we are all in this together with family members who choose the one place to put all their things that makes our lives super annoying every. Single. Day.🤣
My daughter had a friend sleep over so she organised and cleaned her room. She got overwhelmed, I came in to help, and we ended up with three huge bags of items leaving the house including a bag of balls and a bag of stuffed animals yayayayyay!
I also took photos of her old artworks and we threw out those too, she had shoved them behind things in her cupboard and I said to her if she liked them that much it was okay to get rid of them. There are some items she isn’t comfortable letting go of yet (from deceased family members etc) and I let her know that was okay. She might want them in time, or she might let them go. They don’t care as they have passed away, and if someone else wants you to
keep it more than you want to then THEY can store the item.
Guilt hoarding is a real thing and it’s HARD.
I’m so proud of her, she’s in those tween years between kid and adult and there are things she wants but doesn’t need but also can’t let go of… it’s a really tough age!
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Post by Linda on Jul 15, 2023 12:35:58 GMT
2) I could still open that cabinet door can you ask him to get out ____________ from that cabinet everytime you need it and the door is blocked? I have used that with DH when he's been slow to repair drawers for instance - somehow when I'm the one fighting with the drawer, it's out of sight out of mind for him but when he's had to do it, it becomes a higher priority |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 15, 2023 19:19:35 GMT
2) I could still open that cabinet door can you ask him to get out ____________ from that cabinet everytime you need it and the door is blocked? I have used that with DH when he's been slow to repair drawers for instance - somehow when I'm the one fighting with the drawer, it's out of sight out of mind for him but when he's had to do it, it becomes a higher priority I can see how that could work, however anything I would normally store in there I’d most likely need when he’s not home. So it would still be on me to move his junk to open that cabinet. Right now there’s nothing of mine in there except maybe the hand mixer I use once a year for something. Like I said, I’d be happy for the pile of crap to simply move *behind* the cabinet door so I didn’t have to look at it since I can’t seem to use that cabinet for anything anyway and he seemingly can’t be retrained to use another area for his drop zone, LOL. It just always looks like a cluttered mess right there in that small space between the cooktop and the coffee pot. Thankfully my kitchen has plenty of other storage space and I’m not opposed to leaving big things like my mixer, air fryer, Instant Pot etc. out on my counters all the time, and there is enough space in the lower lazy susan corner cabinets for all the medium sized things like the panini press, food processor, blender, stand mixer bowls, etc. It’s not so much the need for storage as it is the need to not look at a dumpster fire in progress. |
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Post by Linda on Jul 15, 2023 22:47:55 GMT
It’s not so much the need for storage as it is the need to not look at a dumpster fire in progress. maybe a open basket in that spot? Would he put the stuff in it? |
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Post by ntsf on Jul 15, 2023 23:34:23 GMT
my spare room/sewing room.. the floor is cleared, I cleaned under the bed and the wall the bed is against.. for the first time in forever. my son arrived 3 hours late on his plane so I finished cleaning before he arrived to stay for a week
this has been a big push.. now just need to clean out 1 bin in closet and the dresser and deal with the sewing stuff. but it is 85% done!!!!
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Post by cecilia on Jul 16, 2023 6:13:17 GMT
Might have found a place for all of my excess craft supplies to go. A Kindergarten teacher is supposed to contact me when she's able to get back into her classroom. It was being remodeled.
There's like 7 school districts in the county and this one is probably middle of the pack, per Capita income wise. It's also the one I donated feminine hygiene products to last year.
The house call vet is coming out on the 24th, so I am trying to clean up the back porch where Baby is. (Still can't get him in a vehicle or any other enclosed space so it's better that she comes here than us go there).
Finally finishing up on films so hopefully that will give me some time back.
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mich5481
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,761 
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Post by mich5481 on Jul 16, 2023 13:05:32 GMT
I'm making slow progress, but I did quit my last quarterly subscription box (FabFitFun) earlier this week. It had gotten to the point where I was spending way more on extra items in their practically weekly sales, and I was accumulating too much stuff in the box that I wouldn't use.
The only other product subscription boxes I still get are Bark Box (which I will end when my prepaid annual sub ends in 2 months), Kelly Purkey's Paper Person (which I will quit at the end of the year, if not sooner), and Club Silhouette (which sends a blade and cutting mat every quarter - still deciding if I want to keep it or not).
Trying to remember less stuff coming in is less stuff to deal with later - and more money in my pocket!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 16, 2023 13:46:02 GMT
It’s not so much the need for storage as it is the need to not look at a dumpster fire in progress. maybe a open basket in that spot? Would he put the stuff in it? The thing is, I would rather not have anything in that spot because it’s right in front of that stupid cabinet door. And it’s right on the kitchen counter next to where food is prepped which makes it harder to wipe down the counters completely and that’s what drives me nuts. My kitchen counters are U shaped with the cooktop on the left, that angled corner cabinet with the door right at counter level, another small section of countertop where the toaster and coffee pot are and a dish drainer, the double sink, more counter with my stand mixer and air fryer, then the other leg of the U on the right is a wide island. So the left and right of the sink are already a somewhat cluttered area just with the appliances that are out. It’s just awkward having that pile of mess right there and I’d just like to be able to wipe up all the toaster crumbs, spilled coffee grounds, etc. without having to work around a pile of receipts, random nuts and bolts and screws, a flashlight, several sets of keys, several key fobs, miscellaneous business cards, loose change, little plastic things that I don’t know if they’re parts to something or trash, pieces of paper with stuff written on them, etc. Sigh. The last time I cleared that space I put the stuff into a box and put it on his livingroom chair to go through. He never did go through it and moved the box full of crap right back in that space, LOL, and it’s still there today only with even MORE crap piled on top now. I swear to god I just can’t win this battle no matter what I do. 🤦🏻‍♀️ |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jul 16, 2023 14:01:54 GMT
My goal for this week is to get the two boxes of stuff for donation out the door. I have one box of random stuff to take to Salvation Army which isn’t in a direction I typically go so it has to be a special trip. The other box is the summer clothes for the community outreach place. I went through the stuff in the hall closet at home and filled a box but there were still some summer things at the lake cabin that DD outgrew that won’t fit her friend there that also need to go in that box. We had too much stuff coming back from the lake last weekend to bring that bag of stuff back with us.
Along with the clothes coming back is a character pillow that matches a comforter at home that I want to post on the Buy Nothing group. That’s another bulky thing that I’ll be happy to have gone. I’m also going to post the outgrown swimsuits that are too small for DD’s friend. It’s the wrong time of year to put them in a consignment sale (the next one will be fall/winter) and the regular donation place won’t take gently used swimwear. I probably have six swimsuits in assorted sizes that are perfectly good, I just want them gone and hate throwing stuff like that away. I hesitated to post them on Buy Nothing but saw that other people have done it and those were quickly snapped up.
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Post by alsomsknit on Jul 16, 2023 14:14:11 GMT
All the mugs should be donated. If you can't talk him into that right now, box them all up and put them in the garage/attic. Write a date on it and if he hasn't touched it by then, they get donated. Sometimes just having something gone from the cabinets, but still in storage will help them realize at some point the stuff isn't needed. One thing I did for DH after the remodel is give him one of the deep drawers in the island. It's prime real estate and he even commented on that fact! That is where all of his mugs/bottles and protein powder containers live. If it didn't fit, he got rid of it. Freed up my other cabinets/pantry, but gives him a space of his own. Can you find a drawer/cabinet/shelf that can be for his stuff? Then put organizer bins/baskets to corral the stuff. Let him know if it encroaches on other space that it will be fair game for donation! I know I can’t toss his stuff. *sigh* Those mugs have been sitting in that cabinet—small, bottom cabinet with the mugs living in the back—for years. They have NEVER been used. Will never be used. And, he still wouldn’t agree to donate them the last time I asked. My plan is to move them to his work bench in the garage. He will store them in that attic; therefore, I must die first so I don’t have to deal with them later. It is time they leave this house. He has space for his water bottles. The ones he uses. He always has a place for the things he uses. Irritatingly, it is usually places he has taken over what I had created for use for myself. Looking at the cookie jar I had been using for my charging cords. Baskets and bins and behind cabinets does not work, because he needs to see his stuff. If it isn’t visible, it doesn’t exist. Because he has managed to keep the nonsense to a minimum in most of the rest of the house, I deal with his spots. |
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Post by alsomsknit on Jul 16, 2023 14:33:45 GMT
alsomsknit I like **GypsyGirl** ’s plan, as long as he agrees to the donation date. I know it drives you crazy, DH has also done tons of biking, running, and triathlon races and we had a ton of freebies from those. But they’re his things representing an accomplishment and I wouldn’t feel right getting rid of them. He eventually did get rid of most things (and all of the glasses, thank goodness) and now he he’s great about what he keeps. Maybe ask him what his top (# you have room for) mugs, and then box the rest and store them in some of his space. If he loves them all that much he can switch them out a couple of times a year, never taking more space than y’all agree to right now. eta: Does your DH also have a lot of those bags with strings over the shoulder? If so, something I did with DH’s was cut down the strings and tie off the ends. We use them for shoe bags when we travel, and it’s a fun little reminder for him. He went through those dang free t-shirts and kept only his favorites, maybe 2. But he’s a t-shirt collector, so we agreed upon a huge drawer to store his short sleeve and a smaller drawer to hold all of his long sleeve t-shirts, as well as a smallish box to keep his extras. If they didn’t fit in those spaces, out they went. Now we have a one in one out rule, but as I mentioned earlier that hasn’t happened this last month. He also had tons of sports bottles, including many from races. We decided how many were reasonable to keep for workouts and races, and fit in a certain space, and out his least favorites went. Since then he hasn’t been tempted to keep any. Ha! I assume he has those bags in the area where his running/biking crap is kept. Never venture in there since getting the shelving set up for him. And, the bottles are gone. Cheap, flimsy plastic that was never going to be used because he has the good ($$) water bottles. The t-shirts have never been an issue because he uses those. Again, I don’t see the majority of those because they are kept where I don’t venture. I launder and fold/put away everything else. His running/biking stuff is on him. This means he takes laundry baskets for months on end and gets bitchy when I buy more of them. The only demands I make of the running stuff is that he throw the old shoes away when he gets a new pair. At one point the smell coming from his running/biking area was horrific. It could not be the shoes. Took two to three months of bitching and then demanding he get rid of the shoes (I can see into the area, as it is just off the laundry room.) before he gathered them up. A huge trash bag full! Oddly, the stench went away with the shoes. He has his running area. I have my craft area. He can do as he wishes in his area, so long as he says nothing about mine. |
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Post by alsomsknit on Jul 16, 2023 14:49:22 GMT
So, this didn’t end well. All the shit he needs to see is now on the counter top. Next weekend, it’s all going back in the bucket and moved to his running room. Tell me it’s ok to donate mugs and the like from his races. Like 5 and 10Ks. I would not touch anything from marathons or ultras. He has the medals, which I would like to find some kind of display. The mugs are too many. I wouldn’t care if they were not taking up room in kitchen cabinets. Not even in the mug area to be used. Just taking up space in a lower cabinet he never accesses. I use it for the canned cat and dog food and their bowls, grooming utensils, etc… I would like to be able to store things I actually will use. LOL, I didn’t know my DH had a long lost brother! Mine does the exact same thing. He clutters up the kitchen counter next to the coffee pot in front of the little “appliance garage” door with his random pocket junk. Some is stuff he puts back in his pocket the next day like his rechargeable flashlight and certain keys but most of it is random crap that I have no idea whether it should be kept (or where) or if it’s metal pieces that need to be kept for something, recycled or just plain trash. Business cards for random people or places, receipts for stuff, all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. It looks bad and I hate it because you see it right when you walk in. Every so often I’ll do the one arm sweep of all the junk into a box and leave it on his chair to go through, except he doesn’t do it. He moves the box to a corner somewhere where it sits until it’s buried under a pile of other crap. What drives me nuts is that it would literally take less than 15 minutes to go through what’s in the box and put it where it ought to go (and most of it should just go straight in the trash IMO). There’s another small counter across the room with two outlets where I told him to use as his drop zone because he can plug in his flashlight and credit card reader thing but he still dumps his pockets in front of the appliance garage rendering it unusable, sigh. OMG, yes! (Read your other posts, too.) His drop spot in the kitchen is just inside the door. It is out of control. Started out with a change jar and basket. He couldn’t bother to use either. Got rid of the basket and resigned myself to putting the change in the jar. At present, there are 3 more jars holding miscellaneous items. And the stuff that is sprawled over the cabinet. I shove the stuff to a reasonable space and dump in the bucket when it gets out of control. He also has a small, wheeled, 3 tiered unit that was supposed to hold a few pens, his laptop and whatever office-ish supplies he needed to pay bills. He refuses to use the office.🙄 There is also a stand piled with his things, next to his chair, in the family room. The last 2 I ignore, because he has learned not to pile in other areas. Had to have a discussion with him a number of years ago, because I have a chronic illness that prominently features fatigue. Spent my energy cleaning up after the stuff he left strewn everywhere, instead of actual cleaning. |
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Post by dewryce on Jul 16, 2023 21:47:07 GMT
One of the best things I did to help with my frustration is dedicate a drawer near the front door for DH to put his pocket crap in when he gets home. The first place was right inside the door on the entrance table. He kept putting it on top, but not nearly as often. Then we moved that table so now it’s in a drawer that is immediately to your right when you step out of the entry way and into the main living space. Oddly, he is much more consistent with this drawer. Occasionally there will be things on top of the countertop directly above it, but it’s rare and easy enough to just open the drawer to swipe everything into it. I don’t bother sorting it, and don’t complain about the state of the drawer because I can’t see it and rarely access it. alsomsknit Yes! I am in the same boat with you. I pointed out that I use up some of my “good” time to pick-up clean, and he was coming right after me messing it up. It made me feel like my time/effort, which as you know can be hard won, was not appreciated and also in vain. I have so little energy and I would rather spend it doing things with him. That really hit home with him. |
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Post by dewryce on Jul 16, 2023 21:51:17 GMT
No matter how many times I’ve tried to relocate that one pile to another area that would be less problematic it doesn’t even last a day. He REALLY likes that one spot, LOL. Store something that he uses every single day in that spot. Once he has to move his pile every time to get in there, he might agree to change his spot! Until is becomes a pain point for him, you will get nowhere. Right now it only bothers you.When I was at my wits end I took this same approach by putting things DH left lying around in a basket on his side of the bed. He just moved the basket. Then I put it directly on his side of the bed, under the blankets, same results. But putting everything in his pillowcase worked 🤣🤣🤣 |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 17, 2023 11:25:41 GMT
There are some items she isn’t comfortable letting go of yet (from deceased family members etc) and I let her know that was okay. She might want them in time, or she might let them go. They don’t care as they have passed away, and if someone else wants you to keep it more than you want to then THEY can store the item. Guilt hoarding is a real thing and it’s HARD. This very much resonated with me.
Trying to remember less stuff coming in is less stuff to deal with later - and more money in my pocket!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
I really do try to ask myself, "Where will I put this? Do I want to have to clean this?"
It helps a lot, especially with free items. Just because there is no upfront monetary cost with getting an item, doesn't mean it won't cost me in the long run, with thinking about it and cleaning it.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 17, 2023 11:36:28 GMT
I am still working on my "streamlined" idea as a way of living.
Just a couple weeks after buying jeans and solid tees, and I know this is definitely the right way for me. I guess if I have a special event down the road, I can thrift something for it, but for my present everyday, this simple capsule wardrobe is best.
I did place the chipper box in the recycling, and it's gone.
I'm doing very well using up toiletries. Now at the point of buying when I run out, because there are no back ups. The only thing I have extras of are tampons & pads, because I really, really don't want to run out of those.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,447
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Post by amom23 on Jul 17, 2023 18:16:33 GMT
I haven't had any real big decluttering projects to work on and I'm doing good with maintaining the house. We have had quite a bit of overnight company so far this summer and I gotta tell you having such a clutter free home has made hosting so much easier. Going forward I plan to do another sweep through my kitchen cabinets, dining room built-ins and master bath. I have a basket in my bedroom closet that I've been putting shirts/tees in that I don't think I want to keep. At the end of summer I'll donate anything that I haven't gone searching for to wear. There are other random items that need to be dropped off at Goodwill.
I love reading about how everyone is doing with their decluttering journey!
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 17, 2023 18:42:27 GMT
I'm amazed at what I still find to purge, even after moving a year ago.
I just realized I have some new DVDs and cases I need to donate. I don't even own a computer with a CD drive. I'm down to a laptop and tablet.
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Post by ntsf on Jul 17, 2023 20:01:41 GMT
my son went to the basement and did a 15 min sort of stuff. we made a run to goodwill and put away some big bins.. I need to use his muscle while I can.. tackling more of the basement later this week. also created a big garbage pile for the dump later in the week.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,447
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Post by amom23 on Jul 17, 2023 21:03:15 GMT
I'm amazed at what I still find to purge, even after moving a year ago. I just realized I have some new DVDs and cases I need to donate. I don't even own a computer with a CD drive. I'm down to a laptop and tablet. I find decluttering to be a never ending process. I'm never actually "done," but it gets easier as you reduce the inventory in your home. |
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Post by cecilia on Jul 17, 2023 23:18:23 GMT
Sold several books (like 10) since Saturday in booth, and my Dad has sold some book lots on eBay so we have stuff going out. I need to add to Goodwill donation box. My Dad said he needs to go through his closet and get rid of clothes and then I could restock it from thrifts and yard sales. He recently went up in size, that's what is prompting the move. My Mom needs to go through hers too. She just has piles every where of clothes and then can't find anything. Hopefully she will find the motivation to take care of it herself. Most of the time we have to make her extremely mad to take care of something, and I don't have the energy to do that right now.
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Post by dewryce on Jul 18, 2023 0:19:20 GMT
I'm amazed at what I still find to purge, even after moving a year ago. I just realized I have some new DVDs and cases I need to donate. I don't even own a computer with a CD drive. I'm down to a laptop and tablet. I find decluttering to be a never ending process. I'm never actually "done," but it gets easier as you reduce the inventory in your home. This is true for us as well. We are in the maintenance phase, we keep a permanent donation box in an out of the way spot and anytime we come across something we never use or aren’t in love with any more it goes in the trash or the donation box. When the box is full it gets dropped off. And every now and again I pick an area (drawer/shelf/item of clothing/etc) to go through and can sometimes pick out a couple of items to get rid of, and the area gets cleaned and reorganized. It works well. When I’m not motivated to do a particular area those decluttering calendars work well. |
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 18, 2023 12:58:28 GMT
I'm amazed at what I still find to purge, even after moving a year ago. I just realized I have some new DVDs and cases I need to donate. I don't even own a computer with a CD drive. I'm down to a laptop and tablet. I find decluttering to be a never ending process. I'm never actually "done," but it gets easier as you reduce the inventory in your home. I also find the more I do it, the easier it is to let things go. I don't think I've ever had any regrets. |
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Post by Linda on Jul 18, 2023 21:57:39 GMT
I finished up the 1990s for my mum's photos - taking a break from the photo project for a bit before I tackle the 1980s
Cleaned out my handbag and decluttered my computer desk
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Post by lg on Jul 19, 2023 12:57:52 GMT
Cleaned ds room and got a few things out - seeing as the kid is by nature a minimalist this was a lot easier than dd’s room as he just doesn’t have a lot of stuff!
Put all of dd’s lip glosses in one container and stated no more until they’re gone.
Put all of dd’s jewellery in one area and got rid of a few “young” pieces she’s outgrown.
Went through the kids bathroom drawers, washed the organisers and went through what was left. Got rid of a number of items (see you later nit comb).
Put all of dd’s body washes in one pile and, you guessed it, said no more until these are gone (lots gifted to her so not me bringing them in, love this as a present as we can use it and Chuck it without guilt)
Put all the half used shampoos in a pile and, you guessed it, said “get these used up and as a reward I’ll buy you the fancy ones you would like, but until then no more”
Now if only I was this mean to myself when it comes to craft supplies 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Post by ntsf on Jul 20, 2023 0:56:07 GMT
my son and I went through 5 last boxes of stuff from grandpa's house. he is taking a few things, there are more that I can take to him via car.. and now I know what is in the boxes, having not really looked at them for 2 yrs. more added to goodwill pile.
he is going through all the music albums sat so he can keep them in one box, and again, I will drive them to his home sometime. he lives across the country.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 22, 2023 10:34:51 GMT
I love reading about how everyone is doing with their decluttering journey!
Me too!
I find decluttering to be a never ending process. I'm never actually "done," but it gets easier as you reduce the inventory in your home. So, so true.
And the more I let go, the easier it is to spot stuff that can go.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 22, 2023 10:41:31 GMT
A little win for me yesterday.
On short notice the school put on a used uniform sale.
I grabbed up all the uniform stuff my youngest had outgrown, plus two pairs of school shoes and even a NWT pair of sneakers he never wore (growth spurt had him skipping the size!), and went over.
And this next part is my happiest part of it...
As I'm walking up, a mother is walking out, sees my clear bag full of clothes, and asks, "Donations?"
I was able to give her all three pairs of shoes, a sweatshirt, & three sweaters! She only couldn't take the pants because her son is taller than mine.
I did donate the pants to the actual school sale a few minutes later, so they will be bought/used eventually.
And all of that is out of my house!!
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