Would you stop sending cards?

Birthday cards I think should be acknowledged but I don’t expect holiday cards to be. 

Even if the elementary aged kids don't acknowledge the cards, you may want to continue sending to them, just because most kids I know enjoy getting mail (or is that too old school???). They might not acknowledge now, but hopefully they will look back at them with fond memories.

My DH is trying to become closer to his family, even though, like most I think, they've had their troubles. I am enjoying making cards after a decade or two away from papercrafting. We sent homemade Christmas cards to family we hadn't really spoken to much and I've been working on birthday cards, too. My FILs bday is in early January and he had a huge party this year (in San Diego, about as far from home for me as can be, so I didn't attend). I found out when DH got home that one of his cousins, who's been a bit on the outs with the family of late, chose to go home (he grew up there) for the weekend and attend the party because of my Christmas card.

I decided that there may well be things like that happening on the basis of how a homemade card touches a heart that aren't really about me, so I may not even hear about them. But I'm going to keep sending the cards and hoping they do.

you have to decide if you make the cards truly for you or for them.  if you enjoy cardmaking, keep sending the cards regardless of their reaction.  if you want the validation and don't get it, maybe it's time to cross them off your list.

Unless there's money or a gift card in it, I don't expect any acknowledgement that someone has received my card.  

Your post about feeling insecure about your cards makes me wonder if someone said something to you or if you overheard something about your cards.  If so, then I would stop sending them but I probably wouldn't send anything at all...that would be my passive aggressive way to deal with it.   

At first I was going to say you should stop sending them, but then I read the responses and thought about it and think you should keep sending them if you truly enjoy making them.

I think you never know how your card touches someone, even if they don't acknowledge it. Maybe their birthday sucks that year and your card is a bright spot. Or maybe it's just added to the shelf with others for a few days. If you enjoy making it, it doesn't take much effort or money to mail it, and it's worth it if it makes just one of them happy or feel loved or acknowledged that year.

I make and send birthday and Christmas cards to everyone in my family and my husband's. We all make a point of texting each other on our birthdays, as well, and everyone always says thanks for the card. If someone doesn't, I'll ask if it made it to their mailbox safely and then they'll respond with a nice compliment. In that case, I truly just want to know if it arrived, I don't expect compliments. It does make me feel great to hear a thank you from them, though. I feel proud. If it's someone on my husband's side and they don't acknowledge the card I don't care as much, but for my own siblings, etc., I really like to receive the acknowledgement. However, I would still send the cards because even if I don't see them at all that year, I'd like them to know I'm thinking about them.

No one ever says anything about my Christmas cards and that's okay. Oh, except my boss's wife. She goes on and on and sends me a photo of my card on her mantle. It's very sweet. My boss said his wife considers it a homemade gift. She saves them all.



This is too cute!




I love this! You must have felt so pleased! You just never know when your card will touch someone.

I think this has inspired me to send a few more Christmas cards this year to some aunts and uncles that I've lost touch with, including my ones in Holland who I haven't seen in a few years.

Same here. While my hand made cards are a gift of love, I enjoy making them, and they are a lot less expensive for me to make than most store bought cards.

I enjoy making cards and also enjoy sending them out. I don't expect a response unless it has a gift in it.

For years, when we were in the office (before the pandemic), I made birthday cards for colleagues at work. I would put the card in a file folder and the folder would make the rounds of the office, everyone would sign the card, write funny notes. It was a great way to share the joy in someone's special day. I miss that. People would come to my office and thank me for the beautiful/funny/whatever card. We are all remote now, and I don't do that anymore as I don't know everyone's address. I have started just sending the birthday person an email with a funny birthday meme, but it's not the same. They often say they miss my cards!

lindamh , if you enjoy making the cards, by all means continue. I understand the disappointment when you don't get acknowledgement for it, but have come to understand not everyone knows how much work and THOUGHT goes into making them. You can come here and vent to us anytime. We get it. 

Some people really do think cards are a waste of paper these days, an oddity. Some people haven't used a postage stamp in years. And yes, some people actually think that making something shows less care or love than spending cash on a store bought card/gift (or evidence of poverty, which we all know is the opposite of the truth these days).

Most people I send cards to find it such a fun novelty to get mail that isn't advertising that they excitedly text me. Some take days or weeks past the event because they don't actually collect or open their mail regularly, some are too anxious about bills or scary adulting mail so they avoid it. (I text them with a note to go get their mail now so they know there's something good in there).

It's really hard to know what's going on here without asking them. How did they respond when you used to ask if they got it? Just a yes, thanks? They may just not be card people because they have lots of in-person interactions or think a Fbk message is just as good or better. The hurt part of me would be inclined to stop. Or stop for a while and see if you get any reaction. Or ask them outright if they'd prefer you stop sending cards.

But another part of me thinks mail is good for all of us, regardless, and good for the postal system too, so just keep sending it unless it makes you feel really bad. And it's good for the kiddos whether they like it or not! They need to know they have a odd relative out there who is thinking of them and expresses it with paper!