huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,227
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Sept 15, 2023 16:54:25 GMT
What do you do for your adult children's birthdays?
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Sept 15, 2023 16:55:43 GMT
Give her a nice gift and take her out for dinner.
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Post by flanz on Sept 15, 2023 16:58:38 GMT
Birthdays as adults are not a big deal in our family. I don't know if I've ever been with either of our kids on their actual birthday more than once or twice since they went away to college... and they're in their 30s now.
We live a 6 hr drive from our DD and in a different country than our son. We always call, I often send a fun singing ecard. Gift giving is not something we do "because the calendar says" its a gift giving time. We give spontaneous gifts, most often experiential ones, when moved to do so, and we give monetary gifts from time to time to make their lives a little easier.
That said, I sure am glad that they were born!! And they know it.
Also, both kids are minimalists and buy what they want and need, for the most part.
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Post by gar on Sept 15, 2023 17:02:47 GMT
We usually get together as a family and have a meal. Sometimes we’ll babysit so they can go out with their husband/partner as as a couple. They get a present too 😊
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Post by littlemama on Sept 15, 2023 17:03:07 GMT
We have one adult child who lives at home so he can save for a house. Ehat we do depends on the year and what his needs/wants are. We always go out to dinner and I make corned beef and cabbage at some point close to his bday. His gift next year will be us paying for half of his cost to go to Mexico (with us for a wedding. And that will also be his main christmas gift)
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 15, 2023 17:12:54 GMT
Give them cash, some work out clothes, and go to dinner if they are in town.
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River
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,573
Location: Alabama
Jun 26, 2014 15:26:04 GMT
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Post by River on Sept 15, 2023 17:26:18 GMT
I cook what ever there request is for dinner and all the kids and SO's come to eat and spend time together as a family. They also get a gift from me.
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Post by Flowergirl on Sept 15, 2023 17:28:45 GMT
Both kids are in their 20s and on their own. DS just moved back to the area and we took him and his fiancé out to dinner and gave him a gift. DD lives out of the area but is always home for her birthday which is Christmas week. We either take everyone out to dinner or make a nice dinner at our home--whichever DD is in the mood for. And we give her a gift which is never combined with her Christmas gifts.
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Post by peasapie on Sept 15, 2023 17:29:54 GMT
We do a family meal. We used to all go out to dinner as a family when they were in their 20s. Once they hit 35, we started either having dinner at their home or ours and singing happy birthday.
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Post by MichyM on Sept 15, 2023 17:33:47 GMT
Adult child has lived on the opposite coast (or near it) for 15+ years. Birthday is usually a Happy Hour facetime where I've had appetizers and mixed drinks or a bottle of wine delivered along with sending a check. I don't think I've seen my son in person for his birthday since he turned 18. I've considered going out there for his birthday, but he almost always has OOT plans with friends since it falls near Memorial Day weekend.
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Post by roundtwo on Sept 15, 2023 17:46:28 GMT
Two of my kids live about 5 hours away by plane and the third is about 6 hours by car so I rarely get to see them on their birthdays. Their birthdays aren't near any holidays and they all work full time so while I do get to see them a couple of times a year, it rarely works out that it is at birthday time.
I send a gift and a gift card to a special food place near them.
And I admit to being jealous of those who have their kids closer but it is what it is and I am thankful for all the ways to keep in touch these days.
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 15, 2023 17:49:07 GMT
Birthdays are huge in my house, no matter your age. I try to make them very special. As adults, I'm not usually w/my kids on their birthdays. So, they get a card, moolah and we pay for them to take a friend out to dinner to celebrate. If they're home I still decorate their rooms and litter their bed w/their favorite treats. Also, we do takeout one night and then I cook their favorite meal one night. You can never celebrate a birthday long enough.
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Sept 15, 2023 18:01:56 GMT
My son is 20. We still give him a gift, usually money b/c that's what he wants, and cook him a special meal.
My parents still give me a gift, and do we do a big birthday dinner b/c we have a bunch of December birthdays (me, my dad, and both of my kids).
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Post by leannec on Sept 15, 2023 18:39:03 GMT
- Nice gift or chunk of cash (their choice) - Go out to the restaurant of their choice - Bake a birthday cake ... my two adult dd's are weird ... the only kind of birthday cake they want is a Devil's Food boxed cake with canned chocolate frosting ... oh, and lot's of sprinkles!
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,830
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Sept 15, 2023 18:55:46 GMT
DS,30, lives across the country from me so we don't see each other much on our birthdays. Except this year I'm spending mine with him in DC. He's already got something planned as a surprise so I'm anxious to go in a month!
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Post by flanz on Sept 15, 2023 20:28:23 GMT
Adult child has lived on the opposite coast (or near it) for 15+ years. Birthday is usually a Happy Hour facetime where I've had appetizers and mixed drinks or a bottle of wine delivered along with sending a check. I don't think I've seen my son in person for his birthday since he turned 18. I've considered going out there for his birthday, but he almost always has OOT plans with friends since it falls near Memorial Day weekend. I love your Happy Hour Facetime!
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,878
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 15, 2023 21:13:03 GMT
venmo cash and a phone call, if we're not together.
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Post by cmpeter on Sept 15, 2023 21:33:48 GMT
Nice gift and dinner of their choice (either cooking something at home or going out to their restaurant of choice).
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,019
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Sept 15, 2023 21:40:24 GMT
Depends on what they want. My Sept bday dd (27)asked for a Halloween themed party last year so we made dinner and invited about 6 friends over. Theme was easy to decorate for! This year she wanted cash for a tattoo. She was making apple crisp so no cake. I got Covid so no dinner. We’ll get together later.
My ds (25) got a surprise, bowling party this year, because I feel guilty that I never threw him a party. He never wants one. It was fun! He enjoyed it. My ex spoiled the surprise but ds hid it well!
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Post by malibou on Sept 15, 2023 21:44:20 GMT
We are slackers about birthdays in this house. Ds picks his favorite dinner, I make him a cake, and we give him a present. There is a chance he won't be home for his birthday this year, so we will not have what he usually picks for dinner, nor will I bother to make a cake. His present will either be sent to him or he can open when he gets home the next time. Of course we will both call him.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Sept 15, 2023 22:50:06 GMT
A nice gift and dinner out. The youngest is 4 hrs away, so we usually go spend the wkend with her, and take her out. our bdays are only 2 days apart, so it's a nice time out for me also.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 15, 2023 22:59:39 GMT
We celebrate everything to the ultmost and it’s fun. DS’s birthday is in a month and I haven’t seen him on his birthday in 10 years so I am very excited! Presents or cash. I am getting him something for his new house.
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Post by wordyphotogbabe on Sept 16, 2023 2:57:02 GMT
My mom's love language is gifts so birthdays have always been a big deal for her (and us). As we've had our own children and once both my parents retired, the amount or type of gifts have decreased or changed but my mom would never stop altogether.
My parents host a weekly family dinner so we would celebrate someone's (kid or adult) at the family dinner closest to their birthday although I host it at my house when it's my, my fiance's, or one of my kids' birthdays. The person we are celebrating is able to request a birthday meal of their choice + a cake (that is always made by my mom). Adults receive one gift from my parents (as opposed to the grandkids who usually receive 2 or 3) as well as one each from the other adults/couples present.
I'm much more of an experience person so when my children are adults, that's what I will focus on doing for them (whether it's an experience with me or an experience for them to enjoy with whomever they like).
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 16, 2023 3:07:10 GMT
DH’s parents always planned a dinner out and gave us money. My mom would usually give us money.
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 16, 2023 3:29:28 GMT
My oldest is an adult but in college; they work and live at home during the summer and have an August birthday. I always get them a present, and we usually go out for dinner, although this year was 21 and they celebrated with their friends (the horror!)
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 16, 2023 4:20:56 GMT
Pretty much the same thing we did when they were kids. We got them nice gifts and went out to dinner. Once in a while we'd do something fun if their birthday was on the weekend and we didn't have games or practices.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,786
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Sept 16, 2023 5:07:53 GMT
My kids are little still but my parents send us each (and our spouses on their bday) $100 check. Then we get together some weekend that is near our day and have family lunch or dinner at our house or my parents house or my sisters house. We live 90 min from my sister and parents. My siblings/their spouses that live in another state just get checks.
My DH’s mom never remembers anyones birthday. Like she legit doesn’t EVER call DH or his sister on their birthday or even after go with them a happy birthday. She lives 20 min from us. It’s horrible and I feel really bad for DH and his sister because their own mother who gave birth to them can’t be bothered to remember. I even put everyone’s birthdays into her phone and set reminders and put them on yearly repeat. No excuses. God forbid we forget HER birthday- she would never let us forget that.
my DH’s dad never forgets his birthday. They live out of the area so it’s usually a text/phone call and that’s that.
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,282
Location: Colorado
Apr 26, 2017 6:14:47 GMT
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Post by snyder on Sept 16, 2023 11:11:31 GMT
As many have said, gift and their choice of dinner in or out.
We did do a small party with family and friends on son's 40th and grandson's 21st.
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,680
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Aug 29, 2014 18:57:20 GMT
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Post by hannahruth on Sept 16, 2023 16:37:56 GMT
I cook what ever their request is for dinner and all the kids and SO's come to eat and spend time together as a family. They also get a gift from me. We have dinner at home together and they receive a present from us as well.
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Post by lucyg on Sept 16, 2023 16:47:44 GMT
For my son who is local, I take him and his family out for brunch/lunch or dinner. He also gets a cash gift.
For my DD who lives out of the area, she just gets the cash gift but I usually slip her a little more to pay for a dinner out with her SO.
This year, she wanted an air fryer so I got her that and then gave her additional cash to equal the usual gift. I never know what they actually want (or don’t know how to buy the right thing), so I’d rather just give them cash and let them do the legwork.
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