|
Post by Hayjaker on Nov 27, 2016 22:34:19 GMT
I wish I could find the link to the original article. I'd like to share it with my staff. We work with many foster kids who struggle so much this time of year.
|
|
|
Post by melanell on Nov 27, 2016 23:14:51 GMT
It took us a while to catch on to this with our older son and he doesn't even fall into any of the situations/groups mentioned. For him it's just that when you take away all the routines, toss in way too much excitement, too much waiting, too much craziness, and not enough sleep, you get a kid who suddenly can't seem to behave to save his life.
So now we try to spread out holiday fun and events over a longer period of time so we're doing less per day. that allows us to keep our sleeping and waking routines mostly intact. And if possible, we look for a time to head home and have some chill time. DS is very much an introvert as well. So despite all the fun, he needs to have some time to just do his own thing alone for awhile.
As he hit the tweens/teens we've had to tweak our approach a bit, and also when our 2nd DS became old enough to be a real part of the holiday action.
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Nov 28, 2016 0:13:15 GMT
|
|
|
Post by leftturnonly on Nov 28, 2016 7:09:48 GMT
Your OP explains a lot about Christmas 2010. Worst Christmas ever for me by a country mile.
It's so sad to read this thread and see how many on it have left the board. :-(
|
|
anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,065
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
|
Post by anaterra on Nov 28, 2016 10:31:46 GMT
Your OP explains a lot about Christmas 2010. Worst Christmas ever for me by a country mile. It's so sad to read this thread and see how many on it have left the board. :-( Thats what i noticed... how many peas are gone... i didn't know wingnut was 1 of those leaving... sorta sad
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Nov 28, 2016 12:29:17 GMT
Your OP explains a lot about Christmas 2010. Worst Christmas ever for me by a country mile. It's so sad to read this thread and see how many on it have left the board. :-( I noticed that too
|
|
|
Post by lisacharlotte on Nov 28, 2016 13:00:56 GMT
I remember this from last year. It applies to more than just adopted or kids on the spectrum. I can specifically remember two times in my childhood when my mom didn't take me to school so we could have a fun day. No fun for me, I stressed about missing school and it ruined any enjoyment i might have gotten out of doing what would normally be my favorite activities (breakfast at IHOP and a day at Knott's Berry Farm). As a child my life was full of chaos. Structure was my comfort zone. All that said, as children grow up they need to learn how to manage these feelings and understand that other people operate under other experiences. Most of the world won't understand their needs.
|
|
scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,060
Jun 26, 2014 19:29:07 GMT
|
Post by scrappyesq on Nov 28, 2016 14:48:05 GMT
This post just put in to words what has been going on in my family for as long as I can remember. Now including my poor niece (11yo) who is on the spectrum but no one seems to understand (or care) what to do to make her comfortable. Including her mother, my older sister. Its this behavior that made me vow to never spend another holiday with any of them. My niece can't change who she is, none of the adults are willing to try and I'm tired of watching the crazy.
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Nov 29, 2016 21:25:18 GMT
This post just put in to words what has been going on in my family for as long as I can remember. Now including my poor niece (11yo) who is on the spectrum but no one seems to understand (or care) what to do to make her comfortable. Including her mother, my older sister. Its this behavior that made me vow to never spend another holiday with any of them. My niece can't change who she is, none of the adults are willing to try and I'm tired of watching the crazy. 😔 That's too bad. I mean the situation, not your decision.
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Dec 4, 2017 19:52:16 GMT
Bumping for 2017
|
|
|
Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 5, 2017 1:12:01 GMT
Thank you jenjie. I must have missed this is years past. My son sabotaged Christmas last year. It was just terrible. This year I'm anticipating it and just going to be grateful for little joys.
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Dec 5, 2017 2:22:58 GMT
Thank you jenjie. I must have missed this is years past. My son sabotaged Christmas last year. It was just terrible. This year I'm anticipating it and just going to be grateful for little joys. Ahhh I’m sorry. Glad this was helpful.
|
|
|
Post by dulcemama on Dec 5, 2017 15:22:06 GMT
jenjie thank you so much for bumping this. I missed it in the past. My DH really struggles with holidays as there were a lot of issues in his family (mother had mental health issues and put unreasonable expectations on the holidays which led to disappointment and meltdowns all around) There are so many great suggestions here and some of them we have come to on our own over the years, but the one that I think we haven't done enough of is talking about his feelings. And this seems odd to me...that we have adjusted the way we celebrate but haven't really talked a lot about why we made those adjustments.
Thank you again.
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Dec 5, 2017 15:49:27 GMT
jenjie thank you so much for bumping this. I missed it in the past. My DH really struggles with holidays as there were a lot of issues in his family (mother had mental health issues and put unreasonable expectations on the holidays which led to disappointment and meltdowns all around) There are so many great suggestions here and some of them we have come to on our own over the years, but the one that I think we haven't done enough of is talking about his feelings. And this seems odd to me...that we have adjusted the way we celebrate but haven't really talked a lot about why we made those adjustments.
Thank you again. You’re so welcome. I try to bump it every year bc it seems important and things get missed. I’m so sorry for your dh’s struggle.
|
|
|
Post by miss_lizzie on Dec 6, 2017 2:40:32 GMT
Is there a link to the article? The two that I see here are broken.
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Dec 6, 2017 3:09:37 GMT
Is there a link to the article? The two that I see here are broken. Sorry the link is dead. I googled it. The original article was posted in 2014. I posted it in its entirety.
|
|