sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,714
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
|
Post by sweetpeasmom on Apr 26, 2024 19:53:00 GMT
With mom having her stroke last year and then passing recently, I have learned a lot about what are some things DH and I need to do. We don't have a ton but we do have a house, some cars, etc.We will obviously go to a an estate planning attorney but I would like to see what you guys have learned and done.
I learned with mom, since she needed to go on Medicaid to pay for her nursing home care, that it's smart to put your home in a trust (before that time). I learned that social security will notify banks when one passes and those accounts will be frozen if there isn't another account (I thought I had time to get the death certificate and do it myself).
|
|
scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
|
Post by scrappert on Apr 26, 2024 20:59:05 GMT
I am just learning all of this stuff too. My dad just passed away on Christmas and he had setup a trust, but it was set up in 2012 and he did not updated it since then. So there are things that were still going to my mom as a beneficiary (my mom passed away before my dad) and some things that are just going to me and my sister, not the rest of the trust group. Which for us is just a total of 4 (me, my sister, my son, her daughter) and not a big ordeal. THANK GOD!
I don't have much either but with what I am inheriting, I want to set up a trust for that. Plus make sure all my benefits have the correct beneficiaries (not XH listed on them!).
I will be keeping an eye on this thread.
|
|
|
Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Apr 26, 2024 21:15:58 GMT
I don't have an "estate". What I do have, I've named a beneficiary for.
The one thing I learned..... was to add a clause to stipulate anyone contesting is to receive NOTHING. As well as inform the powers that be (in my case >> landlord) the specific two people who have permission to access my studio apartment in the event of my demise or if I were incapacitated. My beneficiary knows where the extra key for my safe is hidden.
It's sad that this is necessary. But, I know firsthand about my narcissist mother and her heinous vulture behavior. She has bragged about her vulture escapades, and I know for 100% certain that she has removed items from family members or friends homes because felt entitled to do so. She has a way of talking, acting and manipulating....like she is "helping" the bereaved when her intent is solely for personal gain and what she can take that has monetary or sentimental value.
I have learned and know from experience......when getting one's proverbial "ducks in a row"......it is sometimes necessary to put clauses and safeguards in place, to protect what you have from vultures.
|
|
|
Post by lisae on Apr 26, 2024 22:05:43 GMT
I learned that social security will notify banks when one passes and those accounts will be frozen if there isn't another account (I thought I had time to get the death certificate and do it myself). I've never heard of this. I just know that if you name isn't on the account, you can't touch the money even if you are a beneficiary until you have a death certificate. Account beneficiaries supersede a will. Bank accounts and other assets that have Payable on Death (POD) or beneficiary will pass according to that designation and will not be part of the will and part of probate. In our state, if everything has a beneficiary on it and the remaining assets are under a certain amount (used to be $30k - I don't know if it is still that amount) the estate is considered a small estate and doesn't require probate. This is useful when the first spouse dies if the home is in both spouses names and everything else has a beneficiary. Put automobiles in one person's name. There is no benefit in putting on both names. Setting up a trust will avoid probate for all assets in the trust. Often people set up a trust but don't fund it. You have to change the name on all accounts to make them part of the trust. There have been some significant changes to tax law starting in 2019 with regards to passing along IRA and annuity accounts. If you have not done any estate planning since that time and have those types of assets to pass along, particularly if it isn't to your spouse, you should talk to tax accountant about the changes. In short, the IRS gets their money a lot faster than they used to.
|
|
bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,667
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
|
Post by bethany102399 on Apr 26, 2024 22:08:56 GMT
My parents set up a trust when dad's health was failing. They had everything in the trust which passed to me when she died (He was listed as executor, I was listed as secondary), and meant we did not have to go to probate court. I had to submit dad's death certificate and moms when filling out any paperwork but the trust documents are really the key.
Please, for the love of mike add a beneficiary payable upon death on your bank accounts. I had to go 16 rounds with mom's bank over getting access to her funds because she did not have a beneficiary in place on that account. I had a will, trust documents, her death certificate AND I was named on her savings and they would not release anything (tied to checking) until I paid a lawyer a large sum of money for a paper saying I was the beneficiary. I about came unglued at the bank more than once.
I agree that updating them is vital, especially if you have things you want to go to certain people. I knew of the few things mom cared about sending to others so I just made sure that happened, but even if you have the best of intensions death is still hard and it can help to have things spelled out.
|
|
bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,667
Oct 11, 2014 3:17:29 GMT
|
Post by bethany102399 on Apr 26, 2024 22:10:30 GMT
I learned that social security will notify banks when one passes and those accounts will be frozen if there isn't another account (I thought I had time to get the death certificate and do it myself). I've never heard of this. I just know that if you name isn't on the account, you can't touch the money even if you are a beneficiary until you have a death certificate. Account beneficiaries supersede a will. Bank accounts and other assets that have Payable on Death (POD) or beneficiary will pass according to that designation and will not be part of the will and part of probate. In our state, if everything has a beneficiary on it and the remaining assets are under a certain amount (used to be $30k - I don't know if it is still that amount) the estate is considered a small estate and doesn't require probate. This is useful when the first spouse dies if the home is in both spouses names and everything else has a beneficiary. Amen. I couldn't even touch her account with the death certificate.
|
|
|
Post by busy on Apr 26, 2024 22:10:54 GMT
Almost everything is going to vary from state to state, so what may be applicable in one place may not be elsewhere. I learned that social security will notify banks when one passes and those accounts will be frozen if there isn't another account I am pretty sure this is not a universal practice and shouldn't be counted on as the way banks, etc learn of a death.
|
|
|
Post by ntsf on Apr 26, 2024 22:13:13 GMT
write lists of passwords, of accounts, of who is to get what. pay for that lawyer and know where the original documents are (dh thought his mom was all set up but.. the original will was not found --able to find witnesses. property given to his sister is not properly title recorded.. still haven't fixed that). having him being joint owner of her checking account made that easier.
don't leave anything directly to someone with special needs on benefits.
it all takes a long time to wrap it up
|
|
snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,351
Location: Colorado
Apr 26, 2017 6:14:47 GMT
|
Post by snyder on Apr 27, 2024 1:39:56 GMT
Almost everything is going to vary from state to state, so what may be applicable in one place may not be elsewhere. I learned that social security will notify banks when one passes and those accounts will be frozen if there isn't another account I am pretty sure this is not a universal practice and shouldn't be counted on as the way banks, etc learn of a death. I'm wondering if this is for those that may be collecting SS funds. If SS is notified that a person has passed, they woudl then not send out their monthly check, thus alerting the bank of the death.
|
|
|
Post by katlady on Apr 27, 2024 1:47:28 GMT
Besides what others have said, make sure both you and your SO is listed on utility accounts. I have heard too many stories of surviving spouses not being able to do business with a utility company because their name was not on the account. This would apply too if you have an elderly parent living alone.
|
|
sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,714
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
|
Post by sweetpeasmom on Apr 27, 2024 1:47:46 GMT
Almost everything is going to vary from state to state, so what may be applicable in one place may not be elsewhere. I learned that social security will notify banks when one passes and those accounts will be frozen if there isn't another account I am pretty sure this is not a universal practice and shouldn't be counted on as the way banks, etc learn of a death. Not sure if it is or isn't. I was on mom's checking account but not her savings (which is where all the money was for her final expenses). I should have moved everything to her checking account when she passed and either accessed it there or removed it completely. But I didn't for a few reasons. Anyways, I got her death certificate last Friday (just over a week after she passed) and Saturday morning I woke up to a notification that the overdraft on the checking was being removed. I tried logging in to her online account (bc that's where the savings was tied to) and couldn't. After calling the bank, they informed me that SS had informed them she was deceased.
I was able to get it all straightened out this week and taken care of with paperwork. Thankfully they were pretty easy to work with.
My parents set up a trust when dad's health was failing. They had everything in the trust which passed to me when she died (He was listed as executor, I was listed as secondary), and meant we did not have to go to probate court. I had to submit dad's death certificate and moms when filling out any paperwork but the trust documents are really the key. Please, for the love of mike add a beneficiary payable upon death on your bank accounts. I had to go 16 rounds with mom's bank over getting access to her funds because she did not have a beneficiary in place on that account. I had a will, trust documents, her death certificate AND I was named on her savings and they would not release anything (tied to checking) until I paid a lawyer a large sum of money for a paper saying I was the beneficiary. I about came unglued at the bank more than once. I agree that updating them is vital, especially if you have things you want to go to certain people. I knew of the few things mom cared about sending to others so I just made sure that happened, but even if you have the best of intensions death is still hard and it can help to have things spelled out.
Yikes!! I am sorry it was so difficult! Death is difficult enough to have to have that to deal with.
|
|
|
Post by angiet on Apr 27, 2024 1:56:10 GMT
Do not close bank accounts until you have received any refunds from canceling things like homeowners insurance.
When I worked for a big insurance company, refund checks had to be in the name of the policy holder and if bank accounts had been closed the checks often could not be cashed. It could quickly become a big mess.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Apr 27, 2024 3:21:35 GMT
Both of my parents passed quite a long time ago. We had an updated will written and we talked to our kids about it and let them decide who would be in charge of what. We didn't want any surprises for them.
|
|
|
Post by chaosisapony on Apr 27, 2024 3:25:10 GMT
Keep a copy of your trust in good condition that is easy to locate. I can't tell you the number of people I have had at my office talking about how they can't find their relative's trust or the only copy got destroyed.
One quick and easy way to help avoid probate is to record a revocable transfer on death deed. It's a simple document in which you name a beneficiary for your home. Nothing happens until you die at which time that beneficiary records an affidavit and then the home is put in their name. If you're someone like me a trust would be major overkill, but I recorded a TOD deed so that I don't have loved ones dealing with probate for my house.
And finally, when you are the beneficiary of someone's trust for the love of all things... get the stuff out of the trust's name! That is not your trust, if you die that means probate because that trust does not pertain to you. So many people inherit properties and then just leave them in their dead parent's trust for years and years. Then the kids start to die off and you have a giant mess.
|
|
|
Post by Katie on Apr 27, 2024 10:48:19 GMT
I bought a book on Amazon called: I’m Dead, Now What? - and I highly recommend it. It will be so helpful when you pass, to let others know EVERYTHING from your account ya to your medical needs to your funeral wishes. It’s only $13, too.
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 27, 2024 13:50:23 GMT
Almost everything is going to vary from state to state, so what may be applicable in one place may not be elsewhere. I learned that social security will notify banks when one passes and those accounts will be frozen if there isn't another account I am pretty sure this is not a universal practice and shouldn't be counted on as the way banks, etc learn of a death. My name had been on my mama's accounts for many years. Nonetheless, after she died, I went to her bank with a copy of her death certificate to take care of notifying them. The teller discussed all sorts of information about the accounts before bothering to confirm that I was the other person listed on them. I finally asked, what is the procedure here that we need to go through. She cocked her head to the side and asked, "Did ya just want to let us know she died, hon?" I deadpan replied back, "Yes, I'm just driving all over town telling people my mom died." Followed by, "Perhaps I can speak to someone in customer service?" This thread is very helpful. I learned a LOT handling my mama's estate. My husband and I definitely have some work we still need to do to address a lot of these issues. This is a helpful reminder to not keep putting that off.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Apr 27, 2024 14:24:48 GMT
You can also file a transfer on death deed for your home. My MIL did this for her youngest son (we all agreed), so when she passed the house became his. I have done that for my house, so it transfers to my 2 kids.
I would be very careful about transferring title to a house prior to elderly parents dying. We had a very difficult time finding long term care for my dad. If he had been relying on Medicare, it would have been awful. Because we were able to sell their house, we could tell care facilities we were private pay. This meant getting him into a really nice facility.
|
|
|
Post by melodyesch on Apr 27, 2024 15:51:04 GMT
You can also file a transfer on death deed for your home. My MIL did this for her youngest son (we all agreed), so when she passed the house became his. I have done that for my house, so it transfers to my 2 kids. This varies from state to state. We live in Missouri and did a transfer on deed to our house, but it does not apply in Alabama, where my Dad lives. So he had to put who gets his house in his will. But I’ll echo what others have said about having a beneficiary on ALL of your accounts, and making sure it’s kept updated. My brother’s wife died and she still had her ex husband on her 401K, with her kids as secondary. Thankfully, her ex wasn’t a dick and declined it so that her kids were able to get that money.
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Apr 27, 2024 16:20:53 GMT
If you are divorced, make sure you update beneficiaries NOW, not later. My sister did not update policies and the a$$ she divorced kept the money--yes, kept it from his children (2 still in HS). My mother had to pay for her funeral and then make sure the grandkids had food, shelter and the things they needed while a$$ and his new wife had the money.
There is/was a reason she divorced him........
|
|
sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,714
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
|
Post by sweetpeasmom on Apr 28, 2024 2:11:57 GMT
You can also file a transfer on death deed for your home. My MIL did this for her youngest son (we all agreed), so when she passed the house became his. I have done that for my house, so it transfers to my 2 kids. I would be very careful about transferring title to a house prior to elderly parents dying. We had a very difficult time finding long term care for my dad. If he had been relying on Medicare, it would have been awful. Because we were able to sell their house, we could tell care facilities we were private pay. This meant getting him into a really nice facility. This is what made me realize that we need to put our house in a trust. Because mom was going to have to use Medicaid to pay for her nursing home stay, her house wasn't protected. If it had been in a trust, it would have been.
|
|
iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,320
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
|
Post by iowgirl on Apr 28, 2024 20:31:51 GMT
I learned with mom, since she needed to go on Medicaid to pay for her nursing home care, that it's smart to put your home in a trust (before that time). This is what made me realize that we need to put our house in a trust. Because mom was going to have to use Medicaid to pay for her nursing home stay, her house wasn't protected. If it had been in a trust, it would have been. That is not true. Medicaid and nursing homes can still do what is called a "look back" ... a trust will not necessarily protect her house or other assets. As long as she is living, her house will be protected. But they can go into the Estate and try to recover from the assets in an Estate, including houses. This will vary by state. If someone has assured you a trust will 100% protect houses/real estate from Medicaid or nursing homes seeking restitution - they have misinformed you. Trusts can be good, but many are poorly written and end up screwing someone over in the end, or are a major headache. Make sure your joint bank accounts do not have John AND Jane Doe. BOTH parties must sign off on anything. Make sure all bank accounts are titles with OR... John OR Jane Doe. Only one person has to sign off. We have all our bank accounts with one of our kids on it (as "OR") We did that incase something happed to both of us, like an accident. Even if we were alive, but incapacitated.. she could keep our farm going. And we needed the additional FDIC insurance amount add her gave us. We sometimes have to have a large amount of $$ readily available, but were worried about it not being FDIC covered, even though it isn't parked there long.
|
|
sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,714
Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
|
Post by sweetpeasmom on Apr 28, 2024 21:35:52 GMT
I learned with mom, since she needed to go on Medicaid to pay for her nursing home care, that it's smart to put your home in a trust (before that time). This is what made me realize that we need to put our house in a trust. Because mom was going to have to use Medicaid to pay for her nursing home stay, her house wasn't protected. If it had been in a trust, it would have been. That is not true. Medicaid and nursing homes can still do what is called a "look back" ... a trust will not necessarily protect her house or other assets. As long as she is living, her house will be protected. But they can go into the Estate and try to recover from the assets in an Estate, including houses. This will vary by state. If someone has assured you a trust will 100% protect houses/real estate from Medicaid or nursing homes seeking restitution - they have misinformed you. Trusts can be good, but many are poorly written and end up screwing someone over in the end, or are a major headache. Make sure your joint bank accounts do not have John AND Jane Doe. BOTH parties must sign off on anything. Make sure all bank accounts are titles with OR... John OR Jane Doe. Only one person has to sign off. We have all our bank accounts with one of our kids on it (as "OR") We did that incase something happed to both of us, like an accident. Even if we were alive, but incapacitated.. she could keep our farm going. And we needed the additional FDIC insurance amount add her gave us. We sometimes have to have a large amount of $$ readily available, but were worried about it not being FDIC covered, even though it isn't parked there long. Here it's a 5 year look back. So if we were to do it and do properly with our next house, hopefully that will protect it.
|
|
MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,551
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
|
Post by MorningPerson on Apr 29, 2024 2:16:09 GMT
Almost everything is going to vary from state to state, so what may be applicable in one place may not be elsewhere. This is very true. As I’m reading some of the replies here, I’m seeing that my experience was different when I was dealing with my father’s passing. State laws can vary widely. Many good issues are raised here that we need to think about, but it’s always best to be sure it applies to your state.
|
|
|
Post by chaosisapony on Apr 29, 2024 3:45:27 GMT
I learned with mom, since she needed to go on Medicaid to pay for her nursing home care, that it's smart to put your home in a trust (before that time). This is what made me realize that we need to put our house in a trust. Because mom was going to have to use Medicaid to pay for her nursing home stay, her house wasn't protected. If it had been in a trust, it would have been. That is not true. Medicaid and nursing homes can still do what is called a "look back" ... a trust will not necessarily protect her house or other assets. As long as she is living, her house will be protected. But they can go into the Estate and try to recover from the assets in an Estate, including houses. This will vary by state. If someone has assured you a trust will 100% protect houses/real estate from Medicaid or nursing homes seeking restitution - they have misinformed you. Trusts can be good, but many are poorly written and end up screwing someone over in the end, or are a major headache. Make sure your joint bank accounts do not have John AND Jane Doe. BOTH parties must sign off on anything. Make sure all bank accounts are titles with OR... John OR Jane Doe. Only one person has to sign off. We have all our bank accounts with one of our kids on it (as "OR") We did that incase something happed to both of us, like an accident. Even if we were alive, but incapacitated.. she could keep our farm going. And we needed the additional FDIC insurance amount add her gave us. We sometimes have to have a large amount of $$ readily available, but were worried about it not being FDIC covered, even though it isn't parked there long. Correct. It's also important to understand all of the ramifications that can come with some trusts. In my state, many people put their homes into irrevocable trusts with their children as the present beneficiaries so they are able to qualify for medi-cal for long term care. What they don't understand, is that this causes a reassessment of the property and can increase the property taxes exponentially. I actually just dealt with a man that did this the other week. He got diagnosed with cancer and had no insurance. His attorney drafted an irrevocable trust with his sister as the present beneficiary. He only retained the right to occupy the home. Since he no longer owned the home he got qualified for Medi-cal. However, his home was reassessed and his property taxes increased about $3500/year. He was livid. It's really unfortunate that our society makes people play games like this for life saving medical care but since that's the hellscape we are in just realize that you often don't get something without paying for it in another way.
|
|
|
Post by scrappinsportzmom on Apr 29, 2024 9:42:16 GMT
Be sure to check with financial institutions that you have beneficiary and POD (payable on death) set up for all accounts.
My sister died and unfortunately but we had a problem and had to probate a second or third account at the same institution because they did not apply the info to ALL accounts.
|
|
lindas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,306
Jun 26, 2014 5:46:37 GMT
|
Post by lindas on Apr 29, 2024 13:10:52 GMT
Be sure to check with financial institutions that you have beneficiary and POD (payable on death) set up for all accounts. My sister died and unfortunately but we had a problem and had to probate a second or third account at the same institution because they did not apply the info to ALL accounts. I ran something similar with my dad. He failed to update beneficiaries on one account when the investment firm makes some changes to their system several years ago. When it came time for his annual draw from the account I called his financial advisor and during the conversation found out he didn’t have POD/beneficiaries on the account. We got that fixed and dad passed away 2 months later. Unfortunately there was one account I wasn’t aware of until after dad died that had to go to probate.
|
|
iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,320
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
|
Post by iowgirl on Apr 29, 2024 13:46:04 GMT
Correct. It's also important to understand all of the ramifications that can come with some trusts. In my state, many people put their homes into irrevocable trusts with their children as the present beneficiaries so they are able to qualify for medi-cal for long term care. What they don't understand, is that this causes a reassessment of the property and can increase the property taxes exponentially. YES! This. I always cringe when people think Trusts are the best thing. Lawyers love them, because it makes them money. But they don't do a great job of explaining how it can kick back on the heirs. Here it's a 5 year look back. So if we were to do it and do properly with our next house, hopefully that will protect it. It won't protect it unless you transfer ownership of the home to your heirs. If you still own the home, or it is in your name, partially in your name and it is in the trust, it can be taken. It sucks! Irrevocable trusts can nail your heirs too, with property valuation, etc. We have worked hard with our lawyer to protect our assets, since we own a lot of farm ground. It is very complicated, and you want a lawyer you know well and YOU must do the research on what is being done.
|
|
MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,567
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
|
Post by MerryMom on Apr 30, 2024 3:28:14 GMT
Having spent over three years in litigation, I have learned to put your explicit wishes in your will or trust that you NEVER EVER want to be disinterred at any point in the future by anyone under any circumstances.
|
|
|
Post by iteach3rdgrade on May 9, 2024 0:08:28 GMT
Without realizing what I did and the consequence, I added my husband to my mom's account which removed her. I had received most checks, but some still came in. Some expired and went to unclaimed funds and some are still good to cash. I never thought about rewards for credit cards.
I had go to probate for an estate account, which I goofed in.
However, stocks and IRAs require a medallion stamp and I need the probate bit to get that part resolved. That was unexpected.
Everything else was easy. We need to make sure we remember this for our son when we are down one parent.
|
|
|
Post by lisacharlotte on May 9, 2024 1:39:11 GMT
Our financial planner has been a Godsend. He has managed our retirement well and set us up with an attorney to put our assets in a trust. Everything should be in the trust. Our financial planner has also helped us when my MIL needed advice about her long term care insurance in another state. We are comfortably retired, not wealthy. He has much bigger clients. But we don't feel like just a number on his list. He checks in when the market is shaky do we know where we stand and what he's doing to protect our assets. He celebrates our successes and milestones.
I was resistant to changing our firm, but I'm so glad he won me over. Funny how he found us. He was opening his shop and walked our neighborhood knocking on every door to introduce himself and what he had to offer.
|
|