Deleted
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Nov 22, 2024 9:00:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2024 13:41:01 GMT
My parents are quite conservative Trump voters. I try to avoid talking politics with them, but it is SO hard. It seems everything is political these days and any conversation seems to go that way. Just talking about life and the next thing you, you are talking politics. My dad who actually is more conservative generally realizes it and stops talking, changes the conversation etc. My mom however is the proverbial dog with a bone. I usually don't bite, but I did last night.
We had a family birthday dinner at a restaurant last night. OF course even though the restaurant wasn't very busy at all, our meal took FOREVER to arrive so lots of conversation time. My mom was talking about her physical therapist and his wife and how they have two little ones and something he was saying reminded her of a conversation we had when dd was born and I was trying to breastfeed. She my sister and I started talking about that, when our kids were little, working, breastfeeding, how it was so crazy etc. Somehow we got on the topic of how long we had off work after having kids. Or more like how little time we got, paid/unpaid etc. I mentioned how happy I was for a coworker whose wife had a baby recently. My employer started offering parental leave a couple of years ago. Previously it was just sick leave for recovery time which was paid, so generally 6-8 weeks. Now it's 3-4 months with the sick leave and parental leave combined. My mom was flabbergasted. She kept repeating "3-4 months". I didn't understand her. Then she was like "well I think that's just ridiculous", don't you?". Um, no. She was all like how can companies afford that, especially small companies. I then realized she thought it was a law, I said no, they don't have to do it, it's a choice, my employer choose to do that, some companies do. Then my dad who had been quiet until then was all "well, I bet they felt forced to do it" etc. Anyway my mom said it was still ridiculous and did I think that was ok? I normally would have been, let's change the subject. But I was overwhelmed with the noise of conversations, the baby crying at the next table and kind of went off on it. Yes, we need paid parental leave, we're the only 1st world country that doesn't, most do, especially in Europe. My mom said, well if you have a kid, it's your responsibility, not the governments. I replied and yet we have people in our government telling us we can't control our own reproductive rights, yet once the child is here you are on your own etc. People in other countries such as Denmark (I just pulled that country out randomly) pay more in taxes but they get a lot more for it like parental leave, child care, health care etc. And my dad was saying stuff well then people should go live there and why do we have all these people (aka Mexicans etc) wanting to come here and not Denmark. To which I replied I know Denmark and other European countries have their own issues with immigration and Mexicans etc want to come here because well, we're closer!
Anyway we just stopped, I think my sister changed the subject. By this point I had a headache, was angry and just over it. The thing is my parents, KNOW my views and my mom always acts like she is shocked that I don't agree with her and seems hurt that I snap. Which I normally try not to engage because I DO snap. Which I feel bad about but she won't give up. Normally my sister is calmer and will argue better and more calmly than I but for some reason last night she did not engage.
I guess I'm just frustrated. I love my parents but more and more it's just so exhausting being around them the last few years. Trying to avoid hot button topics when it seems like any conversation kind of devolves that way and my mom will make little remarks that pop up often about things, often the topic of gender/sexuality etc is the most common. And I'm just NOT good at arguing politics, I can't remember good arguments, feel my blood pressure rise and get so angry. Which is why I try to avoid it, but sometimes it seems impossible.
Is anyone in similar situations and how do you handle it?
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dawnnikol
Prolific Pea
'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
Posts: 8,552
Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on Apr 27, 2024 13:59:38 GMT
I'm so sorry.
I have a ton of anxiety and one of the reasons I feel the need to stay up to date on politics (especially the latest crap from the Fox junkies) is because I *know* it will be brought up when I'm around certain family members. I don't like being blindsided and I'd rather be as prepared as I can be. There's a lot of "well, it's BOTH sides" or "yeah, well, did YOU hear what that lady Governor in Michigan did?"
Much like conversations I've seen when there's an argument (not necessarily political, mind you) but you blank on what to say or how to respond but later it just keeps re-playing about how you KNOW this, but you couldn't get it out in that moment? That's how I feel sometimes. I, literally, have arguments in my head based on what they might say and how I can respond. It's maddening.
It's becoming harder and harder to speak to the people in my life who seem to think that some people don't matter. So, I don't have a real answer or fix, I just want you to know you're definitely not alone.
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Post by dewryce on Apr 27, 2024 14:00:49 GMT
Not immediate family, but my cousins and in-laws I suspect. And like you, I avoid it like the plague. I think if my family kept pushing it I would tell them that I disagree so strongly with them, that at this point I feel like some of our differences are over morals, not just politics. That I can’t have conversations with someone when they won’t recognize actual, proven facts. And that these conversations were hurting our relationship and I didn’t want to have them. That I wouldn’t have them anymore and if they insisted, I would immediately leave. And then do it. Every time. I’m sorry, it’s very difficult and as you can tell, I have thought about it because I fear the time will come when I need to have it. It may cause a riff, but that’s how strongly I feel about Trumpers’ hateful beliefs.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,940
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Apr 27, 2024 14:12:44 GMT
we have all agreed to not discuss politics. It's that simple.
My mom was liberal and married to my step-dad - a Republican judge and former congressman. We just didn't go there. And they never discussed politics.
My best friend is liberal and married to an Republican - at least he was until Trump and Trumpism - but prior to that, it just didn't get discussed. And he had to keep his elephant statue collection in his office
I'm pretty liberal but one of my daughters is a social democrat - she thinks I'm conservative, haha - and we talk about what we agree on and not about what we don't.
Everyone is so entrenched now that no one is going to change anyone's mind - so what's the point?
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Post by Merge on Apr 27, 2024 14:23:30 GMT
I don’t see the Trumpy branch of the family. My feeling is that I don’t want to spend time with people who believe my daughters and I and many of our friends are second class citizens.
There’s more to it than that - I suspect if I’d had a great relationship with any of them before I’d be more interested in overcoming this latest difference.
My sister and I disagree on a lot and even more so my brother and I disagree. Neither of them is Trumpy - just more conservative than I am. We simply don’t discuss politics.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 27, 2024 14:30:04 GMT
Everyone is so entrenched now that no one is going to change anyone's mind - so what's the point? Absolutely. And there's that old adage - you can't change other people's behaviors, only your own. I simply refuse to engage. I can change the subject a hundred times if I need to. Failing that, I remove myself from the situation. |
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artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,395 
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Post by artbabe on Apr 27, 2024 15:05:03 GMT
My 84-year-old dad is a Fox News watcher. Ugh. I get so fed up with it. I try to avoid conversation about politics and I'm mostly successful but sometimes he drags it into the conversation whether I like it or not. I just have to tell him to change the subject. Most of the time he does.
He is the kindest, most generous man and yet his politics are gaga. I can't wrap my head how a seemingly sane person can have some of the views he does. He is totally brainwashed by what he watches.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,858
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Post by scrapngranny on Apr 27, 2024 15:05:22 GMT
Do not take the bait. When they bring up anything political, don’t respond. If no one gives any remarks to what they say, the conversation will stop. You won’t change their thinking you might as well save your breath. If others are arguing, sit there quietly and drift off to your happy place.
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Post by epeanymous on Apr 27, 2024 15:11:47 GMT
What is tricky about your conversation is that it really wasn’t about politics, right? You were talking about what a business chose to do, and your parents decided to make it into a political discussion. That is why it was hard to control—it’s one thing if you say “here’s what I think of the Trump immunity oral argument,” but you were talking about your own life. Honestly I think your parents were looking for a fight, and I think feigning surprise is a debate technique.
Anyhow, I think a “oh, you know we’re not going to agree on politics, let’s not go there” goes a long way if people genuinely don’t want to argue. I have some really conservative family members (who I mostly had to deal with as a very lefty teenager, so you can imagine the extra layers of “you just don’t know what you are talking about” even though I was president of our high school Democrats and worked on several political campaigns in high school), so I always brought a book to gatherings and if they wouldn’t let up, excused myself to read. Then they were mad at me for being rude, but they would leave me alone and would get over it.
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Post by librarylady on Apr 27, 2024 16:07:28 GMT
I have several family members who I know are on the opposite side of politics from me. We just don't discuss it, ever.
If someone were to bring it up, I'm not sure how I would respond, probably say, "It is better if we don't discuss politics but just enjoy our family gathering." --or something like that. ....along those lines, at a family reunion no one was saying anything political, but a son or nephew of my cousin said
something that let me know my cousin was against DT. That opened the door and then, when I went to visit this cousin, I knew it was OK to express disgust with DT and what he was about.
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Post by littlemama on Apr 27, 2024 20:25:23 GMT
My MIL can turn ANYTHING to politics. Ive gotten to where I walk in her house and immediately turn off the TV if it is on newsmax. Im hoping since FIl has passed away that she find something else to do with her time, but she had actually become worse than him.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Nov 22, 2024 9:00:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2024 20:32:44 GMT
What is tricky about your conversation is that it really wasn’t about politics, right? You were talking about what a business chose to do, and your parents decided to make it into a political discussion. That is why it was hard to control—it’s one thing if you say “here’s what I think of the Trump immunity oral argument,” but you were talking about your own life. Honestly I think your parents were looking for a fight, and I think feigning surprise is a debate technique. Exactly. It started out talking about breastfeeding, babies, etc and then my comment about being happy for a coworker getting more time off than what my employer gave years ago. And honestly even though my parents are conservative, it never occurred to me that my mom wouldn't be happy for parents to have time off for little ones. She loves kids and was always supportive when dd was little and I was so stressed and she understood how hard it was for me to be away from dd etc. So this surprised me and then BAMN she was spitting out angrily how awful it was and well if people have kids its on THEM to pay for their time off etc. And this is how it always go. A conversation that isn't at all political and she'll make a comment though not usually so angrily. Usually kind of joking, sometimes forcefully but not almost angrily. But it's so hard to avoid with her as she will make these comments about things that come up in conversation and then if we say "let's not talk politics", she'll say "well, it's not really politics, just life" etc. I mean if dd mentions her friend and it comes out that friend goes by "they" etc then we have to hear about it. And every other topic. I will try to be better about not engaging and I usually am, I was just weak yesterday. And it saddens me so much to know people that I love and are in many ways, great people, feel this way about the world. My sister has similar views to me (and I was surprised she didn't say much last night) and we are just baffled how they are this way. And vice versa. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 27, 2024 20:47:38 GMT
You must have met my sister. OMG the woman can turn anything political and it drives me nuts. I try to really limit my conversations with her but it’s so hard. We can be having a perfectly nice conversation about the kids (her older grands are close in age to my DD) and then she’ll take something innocent and twist it into something I feel forced to defend. I can be telling her how great my kid is doing in school and she’ll say something about how “the schools up there are trying to turn all the kids gay” 🙄 or something about how bad required vaccinations are or whatever. It’s absolutely ridiculous and no amount of logic will work with her anymore. She didn’t just drink the koolaid, she has been fully immersed in it.
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teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,156
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Post by teddyw on Apr 27, 2024 21:36:28 GMT
One of my oldest friends is this way. I avoid her. I feel bad. She’s 80. Her only child passed years ago and she’s been divorced since she’s 24.
She used to be such a delight. I learned so much from her too. She’s the same age my mom would be.
I feel so bad but I just can’t do it.
I need to find a way to get past it.
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 28, 2024 1:42:16 GMT
Aren't families fun sometimes? Thank God my mom, sister and I are almost on the same page politically. It's probably me more that has changed over the years. I was/am always in the middle, a little of both sides... now more liberal. My sister is very liberal, and my mom is more like me. But we NEVER argue about politics if we see differently.
Now there is the extended family. UGGGG.. most of them Trumpers. Even my English (ex) stepmom and daughter. Which I just can't wrap my head around. They will bring up politics, but I shut it down as best as I can. Thankfully the (ex) stepson is in my camp.
Then the cousins/aunts/uncles.... all Trumpers too... and they love to post about it and wear their gear. Blech. We never speak of politics.
Then to tie it all together is my BIL and wife. She is as extreme as they come sitting in the FRONT row when Trump was in Iowa. FRONT row. I can't even.
So basically the subject is taboo. It's hard to keep quiet when they get on their rants. But I won't argue them. It just causes drama. Thankfully they all live far away.
I love the old days when it was the thing not to discuss politics or religion. I think it is best. (LOL)
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 28, 2024 1:44:19 GMT
One of my oldest friends is this way. I avoid her. I feel bad. She’s 80. Her only child passed years ago and she’s been divorced since she’s 24. She used to be such a delight. I learned so much from her too. She’s the same age my mom would be. I feel so bad but I just can’t do it. I need to find a way to get past it. My BFF of 35 years or so is this way... thankfully we have really never discussed it. She knows where I stand and I know where she stands. It just doesn't come up. And she is part of my husband's Trumpee family. |
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Post by littlemama on Apr 28, 2024 12:05:59 GMT
we have all agreed to not discuss politics. It's that simple. My mom was liberal and married to my step-dad - a Republican judge and former congressman. We just didn't go there. And they never discussed politics. My best friend is liberal and married to an Republican - at least he was until Trump and Trumpism - but prior to that, it just didn't get discussed. And he had to keep his elephant statue collection in his office I'm pretty liberal but one of my daughters is a social democrat - she thinks I'm conservative, haha - and we talk about what we agree on and not about what we don't. Everyone is so entrenched now that no one is going to change anyone's mind - so what's the point? But here's the thing- The trumpies are entrenched in the cult. The vast majority of Democrats I know have not changed their basic views. The Republicans have shifted to a scary place that the Republicans of the past would never have supported. I used to consider all candidates and would vote for whomever I felt would do the best job and also didnt veer far from my basic views (that mainly resulted in voting Democrat, but I did occasionally vote Republican). With the Republicans swinging hard toward facsism, I cannot vote for any of them. My beliefs havent changed. |
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,237
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Apr 28, 2024 13:09:00 GMT
My sister and her husband are very conservative Trump lovers with two daughters in their 20s. I can't believe that they support such crap when their daughters are the ones that could be prime subjects for reproductive rights.
We just don't talk about it. Ever. They are good people and we get along great except for politics. If a subject kind of veers off into that realm, we shut it down right away.
I'm sorry you are dealing with that. Sometimes, it's very hard not to engage about something you feel passionate about.
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Post by eventhinker on Apr 28, 2024 13:37:20 GMT
My brother and sister and their families are very right wing. I don’t see them often. Visited my brother on the day of the eclipse, and he made just one comment about liberals and I just changed the subject. Normally he’d have pushed it, but I think he’s starting to realize that peace with family is more important than a viewpoint
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 28, 2024 14:24:27 GMT
we have all agreed to not discuss politics. It's that simple. My mom was liberal and married to my step-dad - a Republican judge and former congressman. We just didn't go there. And they never discussed politics. My best friend is liberal and married to an Republican - at least he was until Trump and Trumpism - but prior to that, it just didn't get discussed. And he had to keep his elephant statue collection in his office I'm pretty liberal but one of my daughters is a social democrat - she thinks I'm conservative, haha - and we talk about what we agree on and not about what we don't. Everyone is so entrenched now that no one is going to change anyone's mind - so what's the point? But here's the thing- The trumpies are entrenched in the cult. The vast majority of Democrats I know have not changed their basic views. The Republicans have shifted to a scary place that the Republicans of the past would never have supported. I used to consider all candidates and would vote for whomever I felt would do the best job and also didnt veer far from my basic views (that mainly resulted in voting Democrat, but I did occasionally vote Republican). With the Republicans swinging hard toward facsism, I cannot vote for any of them. My beliefs havent changed. 100% this. Plus it’s like they just can’t help themselves. If they see even the tiniest crack of an opening to stir the pot, the ones I know do just that. They’ve become experts at shifting any conversation so they can air their conspiracy theories to own the libs. It’s become so very tiresome. |
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Post by smasonnc on Apr 29, 2024 13:20:04 GMT
By this point I had a headache, was angry and just over it. The thing is my parents, KNOW my views and my mom always acts like she is shocked that I don't agree with her and seems hurt that I snap. Which I normally try not to engage because I DO snap. Which I feel bad about but she won't give up. But I was overwhelmed with the noise of conversations, the baby crying at the next table and kind of went off on it. "When everyone thinks alike, nobody thinks very much." These days people are so dug in that every conversation consists of spouting their views without taking on any more information. Your parents know your views AND you know theirs. They grew up in a different time. You don't have to agree with them, but it's important to respect their beliefs with the same respect that you expect from them. Headache, noise, crying baby, whatever. You snapped. That's not her fault. It's how you reacted to her disagreeing with you. We are independents and have friends on both sides, although not far right, with whom we don't always agree, but we seek to understand their points of view. DH is in a weekly coffee group with a guy whom we both think is a lunatic for his Q-Anon BS, but they each manage to emerge unscathed and unconvinced at the end of the morning. Our children are farther left than we are. We enjoy scholarly discussions with our kids and our friends because they are smart and because we're all respectful. We couldn't do that if we were trying to win an argument and our relationships would be fractured. Sometimes we have to just change the subject. Allow your parents their beliefs, even if you disagree or ruin your relationship with them. You can't change them; you can only change your reaction. Your sister knows when to change the subject. It's a good skill. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 29, 2024 13:55:27 GMT
By this point I had a headache, was angry and just over it. The thing is my parents, KNOW my views and my mom always acts like she is shocked that I don't agree with her and seems hurt that I snap. Which I normally try not to engage because I DO snap. Which I feel bad about but she won't give up. But I was overwhelmed with the noise of conversations, the baby crying at the next table and kind of went off on it. "When everyone thinks alike, nobody thinks very much." These days people are so dug in that every conversation consists of spouting their views without taking on any more information. Your parents know your views AND you know theirs. They grew up in a different time. You don't have to agree with them, but it's important to respect their beliefs with the same respect that you expect from them. Headache, noise, crying baby, whatever. You snapped. That's not her fault. It's how you reacted to her disagreeing with you. We are independents and have friends on both sides, although not far right, with whom we don't always agree, but we seek to understand their points of view. DH is in a weekly coffee group with a guy whom we both think is a lunatic for his Q-Anon BS, but they each manage to emerge unscathed and unconvinced at the end of the morning. Our children are farther left than we are. We enjoy scholarly discussions with our kids and our friends because they are smart and because we're all respectful. We couldn't do that if we were trying to win an argument and our relationships would be fractured. Sometimes we have to just change the subject. Allow your parents their beliefs, even if you disagree or ruin your relationship with them. You can't change them; you can only change your reaction. Your sister knows when to change the subject. It's a good skill. What I’m hearing though (and my experience with my sibling) is that these WEREN’T the beliefs they always held. It would be one thing if what you said was true and all along they had those same beliefs. But if it’s a more recent change then that’s something else entirely and I would absolutely push back some to try to find out what changed. With my sister, she has radically changed. It’s like she has completely turned 180° from what she was like when she lived here, and that’s all happened since she joined a cult-like religion and moved south to be part of the main congregation. Her church leaders were all huge Trump fans (I say were because a bunch of them died in a plane wreck on the way to a Trump rally), and it’s only been in the last 8-10 years that she’s really gone off the deep end. It’s really troubling to me to see how extreme she has become in such a short amount of time. |
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Post by peano on Apr 29, 2024 22:48:33 GMT
I just returned from Arkansas where I visited my father who just turned 88. We have previously agreed to not discuss politics as things got very heated during T's first candidacy and presidency. Fox News is on 24/7 but I just roll my eyes.
But my father continues to violate our agreement and asks me my opinion on various topics. We are in agreement about the necessity to fund Ukraine, and that Marjorie Taylor Green is a nutjob, but not much else.
I've gotten to the point where I answer truthfully on some things: e.g. Don't I think burning the American flag is terrible? No, I answer, I'm just grateful I live in a country where for now, I won't get thrown in jail for it (assuming I wanted to burn the flag, which I don't). And isn't it terrible that crime is out of control in big cities? I go to NYC fairly often so I can speak with authority that this isn't true and say so. Gee, that hasn't been my experience, I say.
But there are some topics that I just won't touch and I hold firm--I'm not even going there, I say. I've learned to keep my cool and limit arguments, because nobody's changing anyone's mind, especially the mind of an 88 year old.
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Post by mollycoddle on Apr 29, 2024 23:54:03 GMT
I put my hand up and say “No politics.” Lather, rinse, repeat. Eventually they get the message. I don’t discuss politics with my conservative brother or SIL because we get angry. I don’t want to fight with my family so that is my rule.
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Post by smasonnc on Apr 30, 2024 0:19:53 GMT
What I’m hearing though (and my experience with my sibling) is that these WEREN’T the beliefs they always held. It would be one thing if what you said was true and all along they had those same beliefs. But if it’s a more recent change then that’s something else entirely and I would absolutely push back some to try to find out what changed. If she's worried about the change in her parents' change in attitude, popping off in a restaurant isn't the best way to go about finding out what the problem is. Perhaps a calm, rational, respectful conversation at home would be more appropriate. I wasn't clear on the original beef because of all the word salad with no paragraphs. Breastfeeding, family leave, Trump, something like that. The bottom line is, are politics more important than your parents? |
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Post by aj2hall on Apr 30, 2024 1:51:34 GMT
Even in my liberal family where we're mostly on the same page, there were times during the former guy's presidency when I had to say It's too much, can we talk about something else for my mental health.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,183
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Post by samantha25 on Apr 30, 2024 6:47:25 GMT
As I was on my last day of visiting my sister during the eclipse visit, I commented about oh no, the Arizona abortion ban and how terrible. Sister said, well I don't agree as they are sucking out the brains of babies after they are born and I said, they are not, they don't do that and then, well, that's what I've heard. I shut my tongue and couldn't antagonize. Yeah, that's called murder and homicide. I get it about families, but what stupidity. But just caught off guard that my sister would think that. She's not one to watch the news, so I dont think it's that, it's the mentality of her group of friends, which I've never been around for that type of discussion. I always think if I could question this group to see what they really think. I know there's a few of Trump haters, so potentially some discussion, but I don't want to rock the boat. It was during Covid time and I traveled to see my dying mom from cancer, but I didn't let the kids go to see her as I wanted them to remember her at the beginning phase of treatment and Nonnie took us driving in the convertible triple black mustang, they fell asleep. I'm not sure my sister let it go. We didn't talk about it, so I'm going to let it go. Damn, just hard having an off handed comment about abortion then goes to something else not expected.I thought about saying more, but just left it at, no that doesn't happen and changed subject
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Apr 30, 2024 12:21:24 GMT
The same thing happens in my family and it can be hard to navigate. Like others said, some people find every opportunity to make something political or throw in comments like “Biden’s America” or something like that. You can change the subject but sometimes what they say is so false or inflammatory that it’s hard to leave it be without contesting it.
That being said, there was a thread here several years ago (I think I may have started it) regarding longer paid maternity leave. I was surprised that a group of women, many with young kids, disagreed with the idea of paid leave and many of the comments seem similar to what your mom said. I would be curious to hear what the peas say on this topic now.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 30, 2024 12:46:47 GMT
The same thing happens in my family and it can be hard to navigate. Like others said, some people find every opportunity to make something political or throw in comments like “Biden’s America” or something like that. You can change the subject but sometimes what they say is so false or inflammatory that it’s hard to leave it be without contesting it. That being said, there was a thread here several years ago (I think I may have started it) regarding longer paid maternity leave. I was surprised that a group of women, many with young kids, disagreed with the idea of paid leave and many of the comments seem similar to what your mom said. I would be curious to hear what the peas say on this topic now. This is where I’m at with my sister. She says some of the most off the wall, tin foil hat conspiracy theory stuff that I seriously can’t just let it go because it’s flat out WRONG. She doesn’t live in this state anymore and hasn’t for over a decade but yet she seems to JUST KNOW how things are here because of what her right wing nut job church and social media tells her. It’s completely crazy. When she said the thing about public schools trying to turn all the kids gay, I was like, really?  She hasn’t seen the inside of a MN public school in well over 15 years so how the hell would she know? And don’t even get me started about all the stuff she has to say about DEI and critical race theory that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. She’s just parroting the nutty stuff other people are telling her. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 30, 2024 13:05:25 GMT
What I’m hearing though (and my experience with my sibling) is that these WEREN’T the beliefs they always held. It would be one thing if what you said was true and all along they had those same beliefs. But if it’s a more recent change then that’s something else entirely and I would absolutely push back some to try to find out what changed. If she's worried about the change in her parents' change in attitude, popping off in a restaurant isn't the best way to go about finding out what the problem is. Perhaps a calm, rational, respectful conversation at home would be more appropriate. I wasn't clear on the original beef because of all the word salad with no paragraphs. Breastfeeding, family leave, Trump, something like that. The bottom line is, are politics more important than your parents? How do you do that though when the other person is the one escalating it? They don’t seem to care where they are and they know they’re poking the bear. My sister looks for any opportunity to push her agenda and tell me how messed up things are where I live, in spite of the fact that she left here over 15 years ago. Sorry, but I like it here. I’m happy to pay taxes for the nice things my state provides. We had a near complete falling out when she initially left, and at one point we did reconcile and basically agree to disagree on some things. But over the last 8-10 years she has gotten even more extreme. It’s getting harder and harder to have a relationship with her because she drags this stuff into every.single.conversation. For as much as I used to really love spending time with my sister, I find myself honestly just not wanting to engage at all because I know exactly where it will go. She has changed completely into someone I don’t even know anymore. |
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She hasn’t seen the inside of a MN public school in well over 15 years so how the hell would she know? And don’t even get me started about all the stuff she has to say about DEI and critical race theory that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. She’s just parroting the nutty stuff other people are telling her.