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Post by busy on May 28, 2024 19:18:14 GMT
We had the worst weekend. Sadie, one of our sweet two year old sister kitties, somehow fell off our second floor deck onto the driveway below and sustained devastating injuries (ruptured diaphragm and spinal cord injury resulting in no sensation or movement in her hind end). We didn't see it when it happened - I was in the kitchen that the deck is off of and DS had gone inside to go to the bathroom. He was gone for less than five minutes. She was lounging on the deck when he went in and was gone when he came back. He heard a meow coming from below and looked over the railing and saw her. We raced her to the emergency vet and while they were giving us the initial update after exam and x-rays, she stopped breathing. They did CPR but couldn't revive her. We're heartbroken and so are her sister, Millie, and our dog, Otto. They have both been agitated ever since and have been wandering from room to room, looking for her. Millie is letting out the saddest meows. (sorry for all the details but peas usually have a lot of questions, so I thought I'd front load that information) When we lost our elderly cat a few years ago, we waited for quite a while to bring home Sadie and Millie. We just weren't ready. This time, I'm wondering what the right thing to do is. Millie has literally never been on her own - she and Sadie had spent every day of their lives together. They played and cuddled and were always together. I'm wondering if it's better to get a companion for her sooner than later. If anyone has any experience with losing one of a tightly bonded pair of cats and has any advice on what's best for the surviving cat going forward, I would love to hear it. We will get a second cat sooner or later - if making the decision based on us, we would wait a few months until the pain of her loss isn't quite so fresh. But if it would be better for Millie to have a friend sooner, we can absolutely do that. We are devastated to lose Sadie but also want to be sure we do right by Millie. UPDATE 6/11 After talking it over amongst ourselves, with our vet, and with some trusted folks with a ton of cat experience, we decided we're going to add a kitten to the family after we get back from vacation next week. We are certain it will be a good thing for Millie, though we fully expect it will take some time for everyone to get along. We've done plenty of introductions before and are familiar with how to go about it. What DH & DS don't know is that when they get back (they will arrive home two days after me), our new pal will already be here. I am picking up a very sweet little kitten next Friday and can't wait. I'll share some photos once he's home.
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Post by Zee on May 28, 2024 19:23:49 GMT
😭😭😭😭 This is so awful, I'm so sorry
We had a very bonded pair and when the one died, the other was just lost. But they were older and when I got a new kitten, it was too much for the older one.
Since Millie is so young, I would get her a kitten companion. I think I might wait just a little bit. Usually when they're young they accept newbies better. Sometimes they don't become friends and sometimes they are best friends. There is no way to really know ahead of time.
I'm so very sorry, I would be devastated 😢
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Post by busy on May 28, 2024 19:28:14 GMT
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Post by epeanymous on May 28, 2024 19:37:01 GMT
I am so sorry. When we dealt with this a few years ago, we waited about six months and got a kitten, and/but the surviving car and that cat have never really bonded, so I do not have good advice.
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Ryann
Pearl Clutcher
Love is Inclusive
Posts: 2,643
Location: PNW
May 31, 2021 3:14:17 GMT
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Post by Ryann on May 28, 2024 19:51:11 GMT
I have no advice. I’m so, so sorry. 😢
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,782
Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on May 28, 2024 20:04:39 GMT
Our kitty very suddenly lost her litter mate brother when they were 5. She was stressed and developed a bladder infection. She also began to over groom her belly, making it bald and a bit scabby. We switched to a prescription stress food, which has helped the bladder issue but not eliminated the grooming behavior, which has become a habit.
We opted not to get another cat, but have since added two dogs to the family. She rules the roost and has adjusted to them quite well.
So sorry about your sweet girl.
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Post by jenr on May 28, 2024 21:20:33 GMT
I don't have advice, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,239
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on May 28, 2024 21:20:46 GMT
I am so sorry.
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Post by cmpeter on May 28, 2024 21:26:19 GMT
I’m so sorry. We have a bonded pair but they are 10 years old. I’m so dreading the time when one passes.
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jayfab
Drama Llama
procastinating
Posts: 5,617
Jun 26, 2014 21:55:15 GMT
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Post by jayfab on May 28, 2024 22:32:38 GMT
I'm so sorry. I'm dealing with the same but with a dog. I lost my Lily two weeks ago. Her sister poor Macy is so lost without her sister. I don't know what to do.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,887
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on May 29, 2024 4:52:41 GMT
I’m so sorry for your loss! That’s such a hard way to lose a pet.
We had a bonded pair of 4 month old brother cats, Mac and Charlie in July 2010. In August 2012, Mac went out and never came back. Charlie moped around, never left the bathroom window where he slept l day. It was so sad. January 2015, a friends DD needed a home for her bonded cats so we took them in not knowing what to expect. One of the pair became Charlie’s best buddy and they groomed and slept curled up all the time. She liked to go outside and in December 2023 she didn’t come back. Charlie seems ok with this. The other half of this pair HATES Charlie. Like she swipes at him and hisses if he’s within sight of her. She’s a bitch. But they coexist.
I think I’d wait a month or so and look for one a similar age or a kitten. They may or may not like eachother. It’s a crap shoot.
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Post by Lurkingpea on May 29, 2024 5:48:51 GMT
I think cats are more tolerant of kittens. And kittens tend to not take no for an answer. If your cat was used to another cat I would recommend getting a kitten.A kitten will likely want to bond with your cat and will be persistent enough that the cat will have no choice but to accept. It is kitten season. I imagine local rescues are over run. I would go with a foster situation rather than a shelter. They are better socialized. They will likely want to know the cat would be indoors only though. So that is something to consider. What a terrible way to lose a pet. I am sorry.
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Post by Bridget in MD on May 29, 2024 12:39:38 GMT
I don't have advice, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am. me too, i am so sorry Busy
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 29, 2024 12:56:03 GMT
I'm terribly sorry about the awful accident that took ySadie.
But can I posit the idea that it's normal for Millie to grieve? I don't mean this to sound flip, but I'm bonded to my husband, and I wouldn't want someone to rush in with a replacement if I lost him. Maybe just give Millie the space to grieve her loss.
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mich5481
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,762
Oct 2, 2017 23:20:46 GMT
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Post by mich5481 on May 29, 2024 12:58:53 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. I've never had any pet cats, so I've never dealt with this scenario. I know for our dogs, the vet recommended a pheromone collar to help with the grief. It was an Adaptil one we ordered from Amazon. I don't know if your vet may provide similar advice for your cat, but thought I might offer in case it would help.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 29, 2024 13:01:15 GMT
Not a cat family here due to allergies, but I’m so sorry to read this. Losing a pet at all is hard but losing one so young and unexpectedly is devastating. I would probably start looking for a new friend for your existing kitty now and hopefully you’ll find one that seems like the right fit.
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Post by mikklynn on May 29, 2024 13:51:20 GMT
Oh, I am so sorry. I'd give your remaining pets extra love, which I am sure you are!
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,268
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on May 29, 2024 14:13:55 GMT
So sorry to hear this. I'm sure your cat will be grieving it's loss.
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Post by ~summer~ on May 29, 2024 14:22:37 GMT
Sorry to hear this happened over the weekend. Horrible.
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Post by busy on May 29, 2024 16:02:17 GMT
But can I posit the idea that it's normal for Millie to grieve? I don't mean this to sound flip, but I'm bonded to my husband, and I wouldn't want someone to rush in with a replacement if I lost him. Maybe just give Millie the space to grieve her loss. I hear you but I also think it's different. I kind of think that it's more likely to be successful if it's closer in time to when Millie is used to having a playmate, etc. The longer we wait, it feels like the more acclimated she will get to being alone and less likely to accept a kitten. idk. And I think it would be sad to lose all the cat-cat play from her life because she clearly loves it.
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Post by busy on May 29, 2024 16:04:18 GMT
They will likely want to know the cat would be indoors only though. So that is something to consider. Our cats have always been indoor only. They had access to the deck but were mostly only out there if we were too. Now they will never be out there if we aren't.
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Post by Lurkingpea on May 29, 2024 16:16:08 GMT
They will likely want to know the cat would be indoors only though. So that is something to consider. Our cats have always been indoor only. They had access to the deck but were mostly only out there if we were too. Now they will never be out there if we aren't. Then you should have no problem answering that question when they ask if you go the rescue route. I hope you find a solution that works for you all. I know from experience it is hard on people emotionally to replace a pet quickly but I do think it is better for the grieving pets.
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Post by quietgirl on May 29, 2024 17:07:42 GMT
I am so sorry
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Post by lurker on May 29, 2024 17:53:00 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. Received an urgent plea from a local shelter that they had 185 kittens and urgently needed kitten food and fosters. I'm sure whatever you decide, some kitty will be very lucky to have a good home.
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Post by cat2007 on May 29, 2024 18:21:20 GMT
Aw. I'm so sorry.
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 405
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on May 29, 2024 18:40:07 GMT
I am so sorry for your family's loss. I can't imagine how heartbroken you are, much less Millie. I am in tears. I am much more emphatic to animals than humans.
But do know that Millie will eventually get over her grief. It may take awhile though. I had a brother/sister pair. He got sick and passed away when they were 18. She passed away 4 years later. We had a couple of other cats after his passing and she did not get along with them at all. It could have been her age though. Millie is much younger and might adapt to a new sibling sooner or later.
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Post by scrapmaven on May 29, 2024 18:47:56 GMT
What a terribly tragic accident. Poor kitties. It's kitten adoption season and there are kittens galore everywhere. I would rescue a kitten and let your 2 year old bond w/it. I think that might be really healing for all of you. I'm so sorry about your sweet kitty.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,941
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on May 29, 2024 23:02:24 GMT
This is just so sad. I'm really, really sorry this happened and I'm sending love to you all.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jun 9, 2024 13:52:38 GMT
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Three weeks ago we lost one of our twin sister cats to mammary gland cancer. She was 15 years old.
They had never been apart until now.
Her sister is extra needy and clingy right now, and I can tell she's missing her sister.
Due to her advanced age, we are not getting another cat.
I'm not entirely sure what I would do if she were much younger, though.
(((hugs)))
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Post by busy on Jun 9, 2024 14:11:26 GMT
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Three weeks ago we lost one of our twin sister cats to mammary gland cancer. She was 15 years old.
They had never been apart until now.
Her sister is extra needy and clingy right now, and I can tell she's missing her sister.
Due to her advanced age, we are not getting another cat.
I'm not entirely sure what I would do if she were much younger, though.
(((hugs)))
I’m so sorry for your loss 💔
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