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Post by gar on Jul 9, 2024 12:41:40 GMT
Do other hobbies engender this heavy sense of obligation to continue and guilt if you don't keep up? Its very strange...
I guess because we (often) feel we're doing something important 'for', and focused on, our children and that inevitably increases our sense of duty to it.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Jul 9, 2024 12:46:55 GMT
jeremysgirl I'm so sorry to hear about Chloe. I know you had recently written about how well she is doing. I think (outside looking in), in the long run she is still doing well, but is having a bump in the road. Hopefully she course corrects herself and gets back on the path towards her success. As for scrapping, I started in 2000 after I got married, and thru baby #1, but when baby #2 came, life just got way too busy.I tried to keep my hands in it, but just couldn't. The most scrapbooking i could do was check in to message boards and keep up. I do feel like when FB got more popular, it was just super easy to put pics up on that. I purged my supplies and gave to a teacher, but still have a ton. These days my crafting was school projects. However, now that Baby #2 is about to head to college  , I am starting to think about starting up again. Part of this came from him needing pics for his senior slide and yearbook. I started looking thru pics and realized NONE OF THEM are printed, and he is one who really likes to look at pictures. They are doing no good on my harddrive. My parents also gave me a ton of albums from the 70s &80s, I am sure from when my sister and I were kids. Those old magnetic ones are falling apart. So if/when I start scrapping again, I think it will be different. What I'd like to do is start getting those pics out of the old albums and just put them in photo albums with pocket sleeves, not make actual layouts. My mom would print her pics, but my dad always had them turn into slides, so... those would have to be scanned. That's another job. But I would like to print pics of my kids and put them into albums as well, so they could at least look thru. Then I feel guilty of knowing someone is going to have to actually hold those physical books.... but if they give some pleasure, I think it is important to try. Anyways, I think it's OK to put your stuff away when it doesn't fit your life at the time... you can always go back. Gentle hugs to yourself.
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Post by Linda on Jul 9, 2024 12:53:53 GMT
Thank you! I had my Thanksgiving photos on my dining room table for weeks and weeks. I just kept going by them thinking I had written that I was so proud of her and grateful for how well she was doing. And I just finally was like, I can't say that anymore and mean it. I just put the stuff away. (((Hugs))) I hope the time comes when those words are again true. But for now, it's okay to step away |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 13:08:22 GMT
I know you've talked about this before but I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a child and then caretaking a husband battling illness on top of having three small children just is a lot to handle. A lot. It is interesting because I always feel like scrapbooks are the highlight reel of our lives. When the story = stress and anxiety, it's hard to relive. There's a point at which retelling is reliving. That's not something I want to do. I think it is amazingly encouraging that you went back to it after years away. How awesome that you rediscovered your love of the hobby. Gives me hope. I only have one page for my daughter. We had her such a short time, but I still had to include her because she is an important part of our story. I don’t know if I will put Warren’s story in my scrapbook. Only reason why is because at that point I hadn’t scrapped for over two years. Now that I’m scrapbooking current days, and working backwards when I can, I’m not sure I will ever get there. Someone on the scrapbook board recommend doing a holiday book, or an important days of the year book. Maybe someday you will want to do that….but I always say make the most of every day,and if it isn’t something that brings you joy….well you don’t have to do it. I read how you talked about needing to relax and your go to ways for relaxing. I either read or watch mindless TV. Something about watching a TV show, and it usually is reality TV where everybody is falling apart just makes me feel a bit calmer. It’s the strangest thing, but thank God for Bravo!!! TV is just not something I've been able to really get into. It just was not a thing when I was a kid that we kids really were allowed to do. So it's something I haven't really been able to get into as an adult. My friend Wendy told me the other day I really need to stop reading nonfiction (she was funny because she was like all those scary books about what is killing society) and borrow a bunch of her smutty beach reads. I laughed so hard. Yesterday quinlove suggested fiction too. I'm trying. I'm dragging myself through Harry Potter series. I'm on book 6. 😉 Jeremy has planned a weekend away for my birthday this weekend. We are going to the place where we just like to sit on the beach, watch the boats go by, and eat giant ice cream cones. I'll definitely be taking Harry Potter with me. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 13:13:41 GMT
Do other hobbies engender this heavy sense of obligation to continue and guilt if you don't keep up? Its very strange... I guess because we (often) feel we're doing something important 'for', and focused on, our children and that inevitably increases our sense of duty to it. Once upon a time I thought I was doing it for my kids. Then I got to the point where it really became more of a creative outlet for me. But these things did not hit me near as hard as it did when Esther died. At her visitation I had a display of scrapbooks. She appeared in 18 of them! 😳 But after years of sitting on shelves pretty much collecting dust, unbothered, she died. And those memories mean more to me now. Those books mean a whole lot more to me than a shawl or a blanket I've crocheted. They are a record of our lives. So that's why I think this hobby hits me much harder than just moving on to something else. I hope you understand and this makes more sense. |
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 9, 2024 13:17:03 GMT
If it doesn't bring you joy, let it go, at least for now.
My grandchildren are grown or nearly, so I don't scrapbook as much as I used to, in the way I used to. But, I have an 8x8 album of just my favorite things. I started a junk journal. I make cards. All of those things fulfill my creative needs right now.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 13:21:37 GMT
I'm so sorry to hear about Chloe. I know you had recently written about how well she is doing. I think (outside looking in), in the long run she is still doing well, but is having a bump in the road. Hopefully she course corrects herself and gets back on the path towards her success. I hope the time comes when those words are again true. I hope all of this is true. I really, wholeheartedly do. Thank you for sharing your wishes that it is just a bump in the road. She's young, I know. There is always time to turn things around. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 13:23:53 GMT
So if/when I start scrapping again, I think it will be different. What I'd like to do is start getting those pics out of the old albums and just put them in photo albums with pocket sleeves, not make actual layouts. My mom would print her pics, but my dad always had them turn into slides, so... those would have to be scanned. That's another job. But I would like to print pics of my kids and put them into albums as well, so they could at least look thru. Then I feel guilty of knowing someone is going to have to actually hold those physical books.... but if they give some pleasure, I think it is important to try. Truthfully the past couple of years I've been doing a very modified project life, just prettying up pocket pages and writing my journaling. And that has been great and a lot less pressure than to create big elaborate layouts. It's fit much better with the lifestyle I have had the past few years. So I think this plan is brilliant. |
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Jul 9, 2024 13:31:45 GMT
The last few days I have been seriously thinking about not wanting to continue selling the jewelry I make. I have paid for a couple shows in the fall and winter, but may do a clearance special at them and just be done. I will keep the items I like and just make what I want for me. Maybe have family over one more time to use up product and then sell the rest. I look in my room and am totally overwhelmed and have felt that way for a while.
There are other things I want to try and I feel like I can't with what I currently have. I want to explore more creative outlets, but not make the commitment this has become.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 9, 2024 13:32:48 GMT
Most if not all of the scrapbooking I do is for others. Since I don’t have children of my own, I did each niece and nephew a birth to high school graduation scrapbook. I also did two of the four who are married a Scrapbook. I knew they would like them. The other two I didn’t because honestly I didn’t have a whole lot of pictures.
Three of them now have children so I am doing the first year for each of my great nieces or nephews. I love doing them because I love looking at baby pictures and it gives me great joy. I do have some scrapbook of my own but only two places that I’ve gone. If that makes sense.
It doesn’t give you joy anymore and it just brings you sorrow for a little while if you come back to great if not, nobody here will judge you. I hope this is a bump in the road for Chloe, but you know it’s a lifelong battle for her. You will always grieve Esther and what could’ve been and what should’ve been for her. Only you and a few other people knew her self and I think that adds to your grief.
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,268
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Jul 9, 2024 13:41:04 GMT
I gave up scrapbooking about 10 years ago. I had a huge stash that I ended up giving to my mom for her cardmaking. I just wasn't into it anymore and while I enjoyed it and even worked at an LSS for awhile, it had run it's course. I don't really have any hobbies right now. I bought a latch hook pillow kit that I haven't started yet. I do play video games and stream movies and TV, but if it just isn't bringing you joy right now, it may be time to take a break and move on to something else.
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Post by grammadee on Jul 9, 2024 14:28:10 GMT
Thank you! I had my Thanksgiving photos on my dining room table for weeks and weeks. I just kept going by them thinking I had written that I was so proud of her and grateful for how well she was doing. And I just finally was like, I can't say that anymore and mean it. I just put the stuff away. (((Hugs))) I hope the time comes when those words are again true. But for now, it's okay to step away (((((HUGS))))), jeremysgirl. I have a constant battle with myself to accept the moment without putting pressure on it to be something else, to last forever, or to end immediately. When you wrote that journaling you were proud of your dd. That is a (recorded) fact. Now you are worried about her, disappointed, scared. That is also a fact. Doesn't mean it will ALWAYS be this way.
I know it can be impossible to scrapbook when you are feeling down. I can't either. But keep that journaling with the photos, so that when you DO feel like scrapping, you can go to that happy moment in time.
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Post by gar on Jul 9, 2024 14:30:53 GMT
Do other hobbies engender this heavy sense of obligation to continue and guilt if you don't keep up? Its very strange... I guess because we (often) feel we're doing something important 'for', and focused on, our children and that inevitably increases our sense of duty to it. Once upon a time I thought I was doing it for my kids. Then I got to the point where it really became more of a creative outlet for me. But these things did not hit me near as hard as it did when Esther died. At her visitation I had a display of scrapbooks. She appeared in 18 of them! 😳 But after years of sitting on shelves pretty much collecting dust, unbothered, she died. And those memories mean more to me now. Those books mean a whole lot more to me than a shawl or a blanket I've crocheted. They are a record of our lives. So that's why I think this hobby hits me much harder than just moving on to something else. I hope you understand and this makes more sense. I completely understand. I think for yourself and for others who have suffered horrible, painful losses, scrapbooking takes on a very different role and having those books to re-tell your loved one's story whenever you need it must be a precious thing. For others, letting go of the sense of obligation shouldn't be so hard, yet somehow, it still isn't easy many times. |
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artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,409 
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Post by artbabe on Jul 9, 2024 14:35:36 GMT
Hobbies are supposed to be fun. If it isn't a source of joy, don't do it.
I can't imagine giving up scrapbooking but I think it matters what your reason is for doing it. It is a creative outlet for me. The photos make me happy, so they are a bonus, but I don't feel the need to document anything in particular.
I remember an online crop we did and you showed up. I love your posts so much I felt like I was meeting a celebrity.
Grief is awful. Be kind to yourself. Let the scrapbooking go for now.
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Post by MissBianca on Jul 9, 2024 14:51:53 GMT
Were you inside my brain last night??
I had a spare room in my house and it had all my craft supplies. We moved it to my bedroom because we became a respite family for international kids and one moved in with us permanently.
I had to get my AC serviced and my craft supplies were in the way so they got moved back to the spare room. I loved seeing that space decluttered.
I have a guest coming this weekend and then 3 more international students are coming to live with us in August so I had to get the craft stuff out of the room so I could build a new furniture for one of the boys. I dreaded every stack of paper and crap I moved back into my room.
I really really want to enjoy scrapbooking but honestly I don’t think my kids care that much. They are an Instagram and Snapchat generation.
I think with the usage of phones with cameras, photos aren’t that precious anymore. Now if I ask them if they want albums, it’s a resounding yes but 2 of the 4 have moved out and they still haven’t taken the books I’ve made.
I’m considering just scanning some of the paper and all of the photos and either making digital books and not printing them or just leaving notes in all the photos.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 15:00:01 GMT
The last few days I have been seriously thinking about not wanting to continue selling the jewelry I make. I have paid for a couple shows in the fall and winter, but may do a clearance special at them and just be done. I will keep the items I like and just make what I want for me. Maybe have family over one more time to use up product and then sell the rest. I look in my room and am totally overwhelmed and have felt that way for a while. I want to explore more creative outlets, but not make the commitment this has become. I have always thought that would be a hazard of selling any of my crafts. I would be afraid of it ruining my hobby time. I hope you do explore more creative outlets. Join us on the craft thread. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 15:01:46 GMT
Only you and a few other people knew her self and I think that adds to your grief. I had this realization at one point about a year ago that only a handful of people really knew her to the point where we could appreciate the significance of her life. It does make me sad. She didn't even have the chance to make her mark on the world. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 15:05:27 GMT
When you wrote that journaling you were proud of your dd. That is a (recorded) fact. This is so true. I am proud of her. She went a very long time doing super well and I am grateful for that time with her. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 15:06:44 GMT
I remember an online crop we did and you showed up. I love your posts so much I felt like I was meeting a celebrity. This made me giggle. You probably felt like that because I really share too much. LOL! I like having 100+ people to bounce ideas off of. |
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,718
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Post by hannahruth on Jul 9, 2024 15:16:57 GMT
I began scrapping in about 2000 and spent so many hours loving what I was doing. I went back to the beginning of my life and a little through the years until we married. .I also did the same for DH but not quite as detailed.
I then made year books dealing with housing, employment, our travels, friends and family. I still do year books but they are not quite as bulky as they were.
DS has multiple albums from birth to present day (he is now 45) and DD the same (she is 40).
We have three grandchildren aged 16, 14 and nearly 10. They all have multiple albums each. They each have a pregnancy album as well.
while doing all of the above I now have 48 12x12 albums which are all in my work room. The grandies love getting their stories out to re-visit and they all save items to go in current albums. School records, awards, places visited.
I also make special event albums - usually a 6 x 8 for weddings, special birthdays (50, 60) baby albums. I have been a little distracted since my DH had a stroke in 2019 but I am still enjoying what time I have to spend putting the albums together. I certainly wouldn’t have invested the time doing something I did not enjoy.
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Post by workingclassdog on Jul 9, 2024 15:16:57 GMT
I have been out of it for awhile.. five years or so. I thought about giving it up and donating or selling all my supplies (LOTS of supplies). I'm glad I didn't. I am using my supplies but for something a little different. I'm making junk journals.. just little fun books. Nothing serious. I'm crafting. I'm using my supplies (and crapola buying other supplies..lol). It's been a fun outlet as I am just having fun with it. It's very casual. I'm getting ready to start my 4th book.. my theme is vintage Disney. I'm excited about this one as I found a bunch of vintage Disney pictures that I have been fussy cutting.
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Post by quinlove on Jul 9, 2024 15:20:40 GMT
She didn't even have the chance to make her mark on the world. But, I bet she did. You’ve shared her story here for us. What if her story helped even one of us understand, even a tiny bit, the different lives that others are living. Just trying to strive and survive. Gave one of us, ( all of us ) more empathy towards others. Understanding. Love ? ❤️ |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 16:09:59 GMT
She didn't even have the chance to make her mark on the world. But, I bet she did. You’ve shared her story here for us. What if her story helped even one of us understand, even a tiny bit, the different lives that others are living. Just trying to strive and survive. Gave one of us, ( all of us ) more empathy towards others. Understanding. Love ? ❤️ This is the very sweetest thing. Brought tears to my eyes. |
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,134
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Jul 9, 2024 16:16:38 GMT
In my opinion... i think you just need to break out of thinking it HAS TO BE CHRONOLOGICAL... that is a big block... and really Thanksgiving wasnt that long ago..
You can journal how proud you are and how things were in that moment...
But just take an event that made you happy... like hanging at the lake with ur friends... and scrap a page about that...
Or maybe some pictures or Jeremy and grandbaby...
It really doesn't have to be in order... you can just pop it in ur album in order...
Give ur brain that freedom...
If you do decide ur done... since you don't have a ginormous stash... just put it all in a couple of totes and hide it in ur basement... maybe you will want it someday... maybe you wont....
Im sorry your daughter is not doing great.... wishing you peace
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Post by scraphappy0501 on Jul 9, 2024 16:52:42 GMT
She didn't even have the chance to make her mark on the world. But, I bet she did. You’ve shared her story here for us. What if her story helped even one of us understand, even a tiny bit, the different lives that others are living. Just trying to strive and survive. Gave one of us, ( all of us ) more empathy towards others. Understanding. Love ? ❤️ I was thinking the same thing! Esther did leave her mark on the world. Your sharing her story gave me insight into someone else's life. Her story made me think more about struggles people go through. We all have our struggles, different though they may be, and sometimes we get so caught up in our own struggles that we forget to think about others and the struggles they may be going through. Esther's story has helped me to remember to think of others and what they may be going through. Here's a small example that happened not too long ago. Someone cut in front of me in line at the grocery store. Even though I was in a hurry myself and I was hangry and crabby, before I said or did anything I stopped and told myself, "Maybe they have a sick loved one at home they need to get to quickly. Maybe they're going through something tough and were so absorbed in their thoughts that they didn't realize they'd cut in front of me. No need for me to be unkind over something as unimportant as this." Simply put, Esther's story has played a role in me trying to be a kinder, more empathetic person. I know I'm just one person in the world but maybe my kindness will help someone having a hard time. |
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Post by hop2 on Jul 9, 2024 17:00:55 GMT
As far as scrapbooking & grief are concerned that is going to vary even for the same person.
Scrapbooking helped with my grief after I lost my dad but after I lost my mom I had to work thru so much of my issues with her before I could do anything related to her and scrapbooking was awful.
I did give up scrapping for 10 years and went back to it therapy wise after my divorce. I pretty much do travel scrapbooks & memory planner now.
As with all things, to each their own, perhaps that season of your life is over. Up to you, there is no wrong
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jul 9, 2024 17:35:15 GMT
But, I bet she did. You’ve shared her story here for us. What if her story helped even one of us understand, even a tiny bit, the different lives that others are living. Just trying to strive and survive. Gave one of us, ( all of us ) more empathy towards others. Understanding. Love ? ❤️ I was thinking the same thing! Esther did leave her mark on the world. Your sharing her story gave me insight into someone else's life. Her story made me think more about struggles people go through. We all have our struggles, different though they may be, and sometimes we get so caught up in our own struggles that we forget to think about others and the struggles they may be going through. Esther's story has helped me to remember to think of others and what they may be going through. Here's a small example that happened not too long ago. Someone cut in front of me in line at the grocery store. Even though I was in a hurry myself and I was hangry and crabby, before I said or did anything I stopped and told myself, "Maybe they have a sick loved one at home they need to get to quickly. Maybe they're going through something tough and were so absorbed in their thoughts that they didn't realize they'd cut in front of me. No need for me to be unkind over something as unimportant as this." Simply put, Esther's story has played a role in me trying to be a kinder, more empathetic person. I know I'm just one person in the world but maybe my kindness will help someone having a hard time. Seriously this just makes me tear up. You don't know just how much yours and quinlove 's words have touched me today. |
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Post by ajsweetpea on Jul 9, 2024 17:57:29 GMT
I haven’t done any scrapbooking since the days of Covid and before that, there was a long pause too. I enjoy the hobby and being creative, but at this point in my life, I feel like I don’t have the time for it. I work full time and still have a younger child and a high school kid at home who are involved with a lot of activities. Add in the every day tasks (cooking, laundry, cleaning the house) and i feel like there’s no time for one extra thing. But I did love the hobby and feel like I could find joy in it again so I hesitate to get rid of my supplies (I did donate a bunch that I realized I would never use). I think my best bet would be to gather photos and supplies to make specific photos and store them in a page protector until I have time to put a page together. I think all the prep work in making a page is part of why I never pull supplies out— because it is so time consuming to gather materials, then sit down and make the page, so I hope breaking it into more manageable chunks would help me get back into it.
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Post by Zee on Jul 9, 2024 21:17:25 GMT
I had two fun international trips after I quit scrapbooking that I still wanted to document in some way, but I didn't want the monumental task of all the pics.
Instead I purchased a leather journal (like you find at Barnes & Noble) and wrote my daily observations during downtime. What we did, my impressions, the temp, what I saw that was unusual, etc.
I saved ticket stubs, receipts, etc and bought postcards. I completed our Scotland/Ireland trip that way, and our trip to Mexico City. One of these days I'll print up the photos in small format and include some of them. Maybe. 🥴
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 9, 2024 21:44:12 GMT
Instead I purchased a leather journal (like you find at Barnes & Noble) and wrote my daily observations during downtime. What we did, my impressions, the temp, what I saw that was unusual, etc. I saved ticket stubs, receipts, etc and bought postcards. I completed our Scotland/Ireland trip that way, and our trip to Mexico City. One of these days I'll print up the photos in small format and include some of them. Maybe. That's the extent of my "scrapbooking" anymore. I've kept travel journals since I was in high school. Over the years, with the influence of scrapbooking (I started in the early 90s), I began to incorporate more than just the words into those travel journals. Now I have a small bag of simple supplies that travel with me so I can put things straight into the book. I press leaves and flowers in sometimes or even sketch little vignettes. My shelf of travel journals are one of my treasures. Other than that, I have given up scrapbooking. I packed everything up when I moved out after my divorce and just never unpacked it. I kept accumulating and organizing all the things to go in the scrapbooks, but never had an interest in resuming it. It felt like a part of that former life, I suppose. At one point, four years ago when we moved to this current house, I got rid of probably 85% of the supplies. Almost everything but basic cardstock and adhesives! This year, I got all that accumulated stuff out and put what was left it into books in the most rudimentary of fashions. No journaling. No embellishments. Very spartan and simple. That fulfilled my goal of having my boys' scrapbooks done through their high school years (their childhoods, so to speak). I am 100% done with the oldest three boys now. Each one has four large 3-ring binder type scrapbooks. I burned out before finishing the fourth boy as I had the most left to do for him. So, I gave myself permission to box all his back up until next winter. I think I'll tackle it then as a good sit-around-the-fireplace winter pastime. I've found this thread very interesting. At first, I had no intention of posting to it because I didn't think I really had anything to add. And I still don't think I'm adding anything. LOL. But I realized I needed to type my response out... for me. So, thanks for letting me work some thoughts out in my own head. This place is good for that. |
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