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Post by teacherlisa on Aug 25, 2024 23:37:24 GMT
I recently adopted a dog from a rescue. He had a wonderful foster family and we have stayed in touch with eachother. I have sent pics, we have become facebook friends. They are lovely people who really did a lot for my dog when he needed it the most. I am so thankful for them.
They are coming to my town this weekend and want to visit the dog. I have already agreed to the visit as I legit think its the right thing to do.
However, I am now having all sorts of anxiety about it. I love this dog so much. What if he wants to leave with them? What if he is sad after? IDK I am a worry wart and probably just making stuff up at this point.
Has anyone had any good or bad experiences with a visit from a past foster family and their pet?
Thanks,
Lisa
UPDATE:
We went and had an awesome visit. It was a great experience. All of your posts helped me not be worried before the visit and I am so thankful to each of you who took the time to share your opinions about it. They will be back in my area in about 6 months and we will probably do it again.
My dog is still adjusting to everything and is a little timid in nature. He is scared of public places in general. He did ok with the dog patio at the restaurant, was friendly with some other dogs there, so that part was also a good experience for him.
When it was over he said bye to the family members and walked with me to my car. Zero issues/sadness everything good. He was tired and glad to be heading home.
Thanks again everyone!
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
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Post by pantsonfire on Aug 25, 2024 23:40:22 GMT
I would not. A little bit of trust but more so or the fact that you have bonded with the dog and they see you as pack leader. That could maybe change if they are around former owners.
While I know fosters get attached to their district, their main goal is to find a solid forever one and they should back off.
So my vote is no and I would cancel.
Toby's former owner tried to contact me and I blocked her.
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pantsonfire
Drama Llama
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 6,284
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Post by pantsonfire on Aug 25, 2024 23:41:23 GMT
It could also be mentally confusing as to why he is seeing them and then get upset knowing they left him and will be doing it again. For his mental safety, you shouldn't.
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Post by teacherlisa on Aug 25, 2024 23:47:12 GMT
 his photo… just because 😃 |
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Post by compeateropeator on Aug 26, 2024 0:04:04 GMT
I have a friend that adopted a dog who had a wonderful foster person. The dog was/is very attached to/bonded to the foster person and her dogs and also had so many trust issues. It took them months before they could actually adopt the dog. Starting with limited visits. Working up to the foster mother leaving for her for short periods of time. The dog has really adjusted to living with my friends extremely well all things considered. They still will take her(the dog) up to visit the foster mother and her dogs. And the foster mother will stop by for a play date with her dogs and my friends’.
A few weeks ago my friends went on vacation and the Foster person kept both of their dogs for them. My friend was worried about after a week with Foster mother if they were going to have issues or if she was not going to want to leave. But the dog was really happy to see my friend and there were no issues.
So while I am sure different dogs will have different reactions they had no issues. I bet things will be fine, but I get the worry. You hate to undo all the work for their love and trust that you have gained. Good luck.
ETA - I just saw your picture. A beautiful dog!
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Post by pepperwood on Aug 26, 2024 0:15:03 GMT
A couple of months after I adopted my dog, Emma, the rescue organization invited us to their annual summer picnic where all the adoptive families, volunteers and( foster families met at a volunteers home with all their dogs. I was comfortable taking her because she had adjusted quickly when I adopted her. When her foster family had brought her to my home, she whimpered a little bit after they left, but was comforted when I filled her bowl with her supper. She was very food motivated.)
Anyway, the picnic was crazy fun as you can imagine with all the dogs running around. My dog's foster mom was there with her dogs. Emma was very excited to see her, jumped up on the couch with her and covered her with kisses. Fortunately, Emma was fine when it ways time for us to leave and go home, she hopped in the car and knew she was going back to her home with her mom.
I know this is a little different from your situation, but I thought it might help you to be comfortable. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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FurryP
Drama Llama
To pea or not to pea...
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Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Aug 26, 2024 0:35:35 GMT
I have never been through this, but I completely understand your anxiety. I have seen a circumstance where the dog was soooo happy to see the foster, but ran back and forth between the foster and her new mama. The foster said that is what he wanted to see. That the dog was happy in her new home, The dog was ok when he left.
However, every dog can be different and if you decide you are not comfortable, just be honest with them, let them know you are anxious about the situation and are concerned about your dog's mental situation/confusion, and that you are grateful for all they did for your doggie, and appreciate them very much, but need to cancel. I would hope they understand. Your anxiety is valid.
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Aug 26, 2024 1:00:01 GMT
When I found my dog, she was pregnant. She gave birth to 7 puppies in my bathroom, and we fostered them until 8 weeks when they went to new homes. We stayed in touch with 4 of the families. We often would dog sit for one of the families. When another of the puppies moms got hurt, we swung by and did a number of dog walks. None of the families ever said it was a problem for their pups.
We also fostered two adult dogs, one, I never got to see after adoption. The other had stayed with us for over 6 months and we were on the verge of foster fail… then we found the perfect family for him. We dogsat him 6 more times before he passed. He was 7 ish when we fostered him. He was always over the moon happy to see his moms when they returned.
I would say if it’s been more than a month or two, go for it with zero reservations. Even if it’s been less…. I don’t see anything wrong with a visit. I don’t think I would want to board or leave him with them that soon though.
Also… for what it’s worth… the rescue I worked with had a option for multipet households (really anyone though..) that if the initial meet was good, and the prospective adopters passed every screen and did some paperwork, that they could host the dog or cat(s) in their home for several days and see if everyone got along. The senior almost foster fail went to live with a family that had 4 cats (also from our rescue!) and we needed to be sure my foster could handle it. He was there for 4 or five days as a “trial.” When my son and I went to go check on him and either do the adoption paperwork or pick him up, my son said “I hope he is skinny and sad so we can take him home.” But when we got there, he was happy and comfy. He loved seeing us, but it was clear he was in the right place. Paperwork done, kiss’s and lots of pets, and he stayed with no issues when we left.
Let them see him if you can. It makes fosters so happy to see these pupperoooooos thrive. And a visit won’t undo your bond ❤️
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by gina on Aug 26, 2024 1:44:44 GMT
I work with a rescue (I adopted two dogs after fostering them this Spring) and plenty of former fosters go back and re-visit their old dogs. I have only ever seen happy pictures and updates posted. I really think you will be fine.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by gina on Aug 26, 2024 1:45:31 GMT
Let them see him if you can. It makes fosters so happy to see these pupperoooooos thrive. And a visit won’t undo your bond ❤️ This  |
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Post by worrywart on Aug 26, 2024 2:19:56 GMT
He is adorable!
I'm sure they will be glad to see how he is doing in person! It does sound a little anxiety inducing but it will probably be a good visit and if it isn't at least you tried. Please update and let us know how it goes.
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dogbyte
Full Member
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Feb 23, 2018 3:45:52 GMT
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Post by dogbyte on Aug 26, 2024 2:25:56 GMT
How long have you had the dog? If it's under 3 months, I would wait.
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 26, 2024 2:32:03 GMT
I would think a visit would be great for the foster humans. They did a lot for your pup. Yes. your pup will probably go crazy and then go right back to loving on you. I wouldn't assign human behaviors onto dogs, but I also haven't been in this situation.
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Post by buddysmom on Aug 26, 2024 2:35:31 GMT
I'm not sure if it's a similar situation, but my (almost) five month old Golden Retriever pup's "mom"/breeder is still really involved with our pup.
We will be seeing her soon and I don't have any problems with this.
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Post by teacherlisa on Aug 26, 2024 2:39:40 GMT
I have already decided that we are going to do the meet because I think it’s the right thing to do. This whole experience has had lots of opportunities for me to be anxious (am I doing the right thing, should I get a puppy, is this the perfect dog lol) and everything has been fine.. It will be right at the 10 week mark, just shy of 3 months I guess.( I do know about the 3 3 and 3 rule of thumb). I might have had them wait but they do not live in my state but will be visiting family about 2.5 hours away from me, They live 8 hours away from me so it is not like its going to be able to be a frequent thing. Fingers crossed for all of us  |
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Aug 26, 2024 2:50:52 GMT
I have already decided that we are going to do the meet because I think it’s the right thing to do. This whole experience has had lots of opportunities for me to be anxious (am I doing the right thing, should I get a puppy, is this the perfect dog lol) and everything has been fine.. It will be right at the 10 week mark, just shy of 3 months I guess.( I do know about the 3 3 and 3 rule of thumb). I might have had them wait but they do not live in my state but will be visiting family about 2.5 hours away from me, They live 8 hours away from me so it is not like its going to be able to be a frequent thing. Fingers crossed for all of us The fact you care like this… gahhh all the heart eyes! What a lucky (and handsome) pup he is! What a great opportunity to continue his socialization. I’m glad you’re being so thoughtful and gentle with his transition. I also hope he is the kind of dog you wanted ❤️ They usually always are! |
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Post by grammadee on Aug 26, 2024 2:57:56 GMT
I think that dogs are like kids in that they will trust you more when you trust yourself. If you are tentative when you meet with the foster family, that may cause the dog anxiety. If you are sure of yourself, the dog will accept that you know what you are doing. Someone mentioned that you are like the pack leader to him. He needs to feel you are in control.
Our one dog bonded with our dd when she picked her up from her birth home, and when dd comes here, Kandi goes to her for attention and cuddles and playing. But when dd leaves, Kandi knows she lives here and comes to me for those things.
BTW he is gorgeous!
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Post by teacherlisa on Aug 26, 2024 2:59:54 GMT
I have already decided that we are going to do the meet because I think it’s the right thing to do. This whole experience has had lots of opportunities for me to be anxious (am I doing the right thing, should I get a puppy, is this the perfect dog lol) and everything has been fine.. It will be right at the 10 week mark, just shy of 3 months I guess.( I do know about the 3 3 and 3 rule of thumb). I might have had them wait but they do not live in my state but will be visiting family about 2.5 hours away from me, They live 8 hours away from me so it is not like its going to be able to be a frequent thing. Fingers crossed for all of us The fact you care like this… gahhh all the heart eyes! What a lucky (and handsome) pup he is! What a great opportunity to continue his socialization. I’m glad you’re being so thoughtful and gentle with his transition. I also hope he is the kind of dog you wanted ❤️ They usually always are! Thanks so much… and funny story about this dog… I had another cream chow who I adored and never thought I would ever love a dog as much as I loved him. They look almost identical but could not be more different. This dog is everything I needed and didn’t know I wanted. He is so special. |
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Post by melanell on Aug 26, 2024 10:46:19 GMT
I've never had this situation, although we did have a situation (25+ years ago) in which our dog had puppies and we loved and cared for those puppies for the first few months before looking for new owners for some of them. And a woman took one of the puppies, and did occasionally send photos of the dog as he grew. Perhaps 4-6 months later, she needed to go to a wedding and asked if we'd watch the dog.
That dog was so excited to see us, and to see the other dogs we still had, and he had a great day. And when his new owner came to pick him up, he greeted her happily and went off home just as happily.
Of course, a dog who's been rescued and/or fostered has had upheaval in its life, so the situation is different, and I can understand people wishing to handle it differently.
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Post by littlemama on Aug 26, 2024 11:40:54 GMT
I think you are overthinking this. If you like the people and dont mind a visit from them, then let them. Your dog will be excited to see them and will be fine when they leave
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Post by bratkar on Aug 26, 2024 11:41:27 GMT
We foster and have adopted from foster families. We have had visits and we visit. Never had an issue with either side. I will say one man gave up on his dog and we took him in on foster through our rescue (of course we failed on that one) and he had the nerve about a year later wanting to see the dog. THAT was a huge NO....... but I am always happy to to visit or let visits happen. It has always been a positive experience.... . (PS your pup is adorable!!!!)
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Post by heckofagal on Aug 26, 2024 13:19:31 GMT
He's gorgeous! What is his name?
I don't have any experience with this but I'm sure the foster family will greatly appreciate this. And I can tell he is well loved so I doubt he will have any issues with the visit.
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Post by melanell on Aug 26, 2024 14:01:07 GMT
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Post by teacherlisa on Aug 26, 2024 14:08:00 GMT
He's gorgeous! What is his name? I don't have any experience with this but I'm sure the foster family will greatly appreciate this. And I can tell he is well loved so I doubt he will have any issues with the visit. Thanks so much. His name is Wyatt, after Wyatt Earp of Tombstone  |
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Post by Lurkingpea on Aug 26, 2024 14:15:04 GMT
He is very handsome. I think it is very kind of you to let them see him again.
I know it isn't the same at all, but my best friend adopted children from a foreign country. Part of the adoption involved taking the children back to the place where they had lived prior to being adopted. My friend was extremely nervous, but it ended up being a positive experience. It seemed to cement to the children that their parents were their parents. And that they were going home with them.
I am sure your dog will be excited to see his foster parents but will be thrilled to stay in his home with you.
I am so glad he has so many people that love him. He must be very special indeed.
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Post by teacherlisa on Aug 26, 2024 14:24:56 GMT
@lurkingpea thanks and I agree with what you said. I am sure a lot of the feelings on all sides are similar to adopting children. I had a few failed adoptions before I found Wyatt and it worked out and each time, although it was the right choice, it was disappointing. He is a lucky dog to have all of us loving him, thats for sure |
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Post by Katie on Aug 26, 2024 16:49:14 GMT
We did this recently with our rescue dog. He was about 9 when found as a stray. Was with the foster mom for four months before we got him. We waited just over a year before she came to visit, and we did it at the dog park (his favorite place).
It was pretty cute…he came over to check in with to me, and he did a double take with her — he was excited to see her, but then went on his merry way. It was clear he remembered her and was happy to say hello, but he was our dog by then, and he had no interest in going with her. In fact, he had no interest in lingering with her longer than just saying hello. It was a relief to all of us… A relief that he did acknowledge her and remembered her, but we were his family by then and he knew that.
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Post by teacherlisa on Sept 1, 2024 13:55:23 GMT
bump for update
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Post by melanell on Sept 1, 2024 13:59:03 GMT
Great update! I was thinking about you and this situation just the day before yesterday because I saw a video of a rescued dog meeting up with its former foster family 3 years after last seeing them, and the dog was so happy to see them even after that amount of time, too.
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Post by worrywart on Sept 1, 2024 14:40:15 GMT
What a nice update - I'm glad it worked out. You are a great dog mom to your baby!!
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