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Post by melanell on Sept 19, 2024 17:49:42 GMT
At our house we were discussing the American habit of making purchases based not on how people will most frequently use a product, but instead on the "biggest" way in which they will use something. So for example: We might refit our kitchen, and decide we need 2 built-in ovens and third one in the free-standing range, because once a year we host a major bake-a-thon with friends. Instead of altering how we handle that one day's activity, we instead alter the room for all 365 days of the year. Or instead of buying a 4 seat vehicle for our family of 3, leaving space for one extra passenger, we tend to think "Oh, we might want to do this or that someday and then we'd need space for 5 or 6 people.", and so then we buy a 6 seat vehicle. And if we own that vehicle for 5 years, maybe we put more than 4 people in a handful of times, but we incur all of the extra costs of a larger vehicle the entire time we own it. When we could have just rented a larger vehicle those handful of times. Or we buy a house with far more space/rooms than we need at present with ideas of some future use, rather than buying a house that just fits what we need then or absolutely know we will need soon (There's a baby on the way, or you know that your job is about to switch to work-from-home, or a parent is moving in with you.). And while many people do stay in those homes for decades and eventualy make use of all of the rooms, there are others who either move before they ever need those extra rooms, or they stay, but find they never do use all of the space. And it's not only big items. DH fell into this trap once he bought a tent---you can fit something like 6 people in that tent, and it has a million extra flaps and pockets and awnings, and adults can stand up in it, and it holds up to all sorts of weather, and in the past 16 years we've owned it, it's never had more than 3 people in it, and we've only used in the backyard. So we've been storing this over-sized, overly complicated tent for nearly 2 decades now, and all we needed was a simple little 3-4 person tent. Even in micro-purchases, this happens. Every year, my kids' school teachers ask them to buy 3 and 5 subject notebooks for classes. So we buy the bigger, heavier, more expensive notebooks, and my kids fill their backpacks to nearly bursting with them, and they cram them into crowded cubbies & lockers, and then when June rolls around, they hand me a stack of half filled notebooks, and I roll my eyes. And every year, I suggest just buying all 1 subject notebooks, and if they see they are about to fill it, we'll buy another. But no, because of course they want to buy what the teacher told them to buy. And I can't really blame them for that. (We are now seeing more and more teachers asking for binders to be used for just one class, too. And again, they ask for 2" binder and 3" binders, instead of a 1/2" or a 1". And the kids don't come anywhere near filling them. It's so silly. I'm thinking my kid will soon need a suitcase to lug all of this to school!)
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Post by melanell on Sept 19, 2024 18:01:27 GMT
So basically, we've been conditioned to think of every conceivable use we might have for something, then assume we'll definitely do enough of those to warrant buying the biggest version of something available. And we truly believe we need it. Do you see the size fridges being sold now? We have smaller families, and tend to shop more often than say our grandparents might have gone shopping, yet our fridge needs to be 3x the size of the one Grandma had. Why do we suddenly need this massive fridge? I know the ads show me things like putting a massive sheet cake in there. (How often do I do that?) Or a full party size pizza box. If I just had a party wouldn't that box now be partly empty? Why does the whole thing need to go in the fridge? And to touch on something in the food thread, this isn't about judging/shaming/etc. It's just about wondering how/why this has happened over the years and how much larger yet will everything be 2 decades from now if we keep being steered the same way?
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Post by Zee on Sept 19, 2024 18:05:47 GMT
Is this just an American thing?
I didn't need a 5 BR house for me and DH but then the pandemic came with him needing a home office, our son moved back in, my MIL may one day need to move in with us, and occasionally DD visits with her SO. I'm glad to have the room then. I don't wish I had a smaller home.
But we did buy well within our means and it's a home we can afford on only one salary, and I think that makes a huge difference in how I feel about it! I never wanted to be "house poor".
I do like to err on the side of having too much is better than not enough, when it comes to household staples and things like that. So, maybe I do fit the OP, I'm not sure? I know i don't like having to repurchase things I could have got the first time.
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Post by Merge on Sept 19, 2024 18:10:04 GMT
Interesting thoughts. I’d say we tend to do the opposite with most things - buy what we need and rent or make do on the rare occasion that we need something larger. But of course there are some things you can’t do that with. And then we were the annoying parents who didn’t have an extra room for sleepover guests and the annoying family members who provided a list of nearby hotels to family because, again, no spare rooms. So that can be a downer.
I think a lot of people feel a certain sense of comfort in abundance, in having more than they need. Perhaps because they grew up with less than they needed or perhaps because that’s how they’re wired. IDK. I don’t feel that way with our house or car but I do with clothes and certain other things, like dishes. Something to ponder.
Ohhh one more thought - food. I seem to be physically incapable of cooking a nice meal that would feed fewer than ten people. Even if there are only four of us at the table. I need to work on that because with the kids out of the house, leftovers don’t get eaten up the way they used to.
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Post by Zee on Sept 19, 2024 18:13:53 GMT
You just reminded me, however, that we recently bought new dishes and I got a service for 8. DH pointed out that I might want to get 12 "in case we have guests." Which is hilarious because we rarely have guests, we don't even live near anyone except MIL. But we went back and bought an additional set.
When everyone including DD and her bf were here last week, we did use most of them over the course of the day before the dishwasher was run. So, guilty as charged?!
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 19, 2024 18:18:27 GMT
I also tend to do the opposite (small houses, small cars, renting etc). My parents however are more how you describe. I was just thinking / right now they have 9 bedrooms and 6 bathrooms - for just a couple! (That’s in their 2 houses) - crazy!!
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Post by melanell on Sept 19, 2024 18:18:51 GMT
Is this just an American thing? I didn't need a 5 BR house for me and DH but then the pandemic came with him needing a home office, our son moved back in, my MIL may one day need to move in with us, and occasionally DD visits with her SO. I'm glad to have the room then. I don't wish I had a smaller home. But we did buy well within our means and it's a home we can afford on only one salary, and I think that makes a huge difference in how I feel about it! I never wanted to be "house poor". I do like to err on the side of having too much is better than not enough, when it comes to household staples and things like that. So, maybe I do fit the OP, I'm not sure? I know i don't like having to repurchase things I could have got the first time. I do tend to think of it as a mostly American thing, although I am sure there are a few countries who tend to shop more like we do. I was thinking of countries where they tend to drive smaller vehicles because older towns & cities don't always have roads that handle large vehicles well. Or countries that often have their washer/drying in the kitchen instead of having an entire other room for it. Many also have smaller fridges or even under the counter fridges. The average home sizes are smaller in many other countries, so they are not going to have the space for DH's ridiculous tent or a sectional that fits 12 people.
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Post by katlady on Sept 19, 2024 18:24:07 GMT
I would say, in general, I do not follow the "bigger/more is better" mentality. I am sort of a "just-in-time" shopper for household items, including food. We buy a 3-pack of toothpaste, and I don't put toothpaste on my list until we open the last one. I pick up another bottle of shampoo when I open the current one. I buy enough food to last about a week, no big stock up on canned/frozen goods or meats. Things like that. We have a smaller fridge, and we do not have an extra fridge or freezer in the garage. I remember when refrigerator shopping, I was amazed at how big some of them were. I won't buy a 5-6 seater vehicle just in case I may need to drive around 5 extra people. We would just rent a van if we needed to. And we don't have an attic or basement, so that really keeps us from buying and storing too much. Also, living in a large metropolitan area, with tons of stores all within 5-10 miles of me, I don't feel the need to stock up, or buy the biggest container of something. As I have gotten older, I have become more aware of not buying more than is needed, both in terms of size and quantity.
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Post by melanell on Sept 19, 2024 18:24:48 GMT
You just reminded me, however, that we recently bought new dishes and I got a service for 8. DH pointed out that I might want to get 12 "in case we have guests." Which is hilarious because we rarely have guests, we don't even live near anyone except MIL. But we went back and bought an additional set. When everyone including DD and her bf were here last week, we did use most of them over the course of the day before the dishwasher was run. So, guilty as charged?! I have service for 12 in my everyday dishes, which we do use every day and have done for 25 years, now. And because DH breaks things like a maniac, I am glad we started off with so many! However, I also have service for 12 in holiday dishes and our "better" dishes, and I have never even once used any of those "better dishes", never mind service for 12. And I have only used a handful of the holiday dishes, despite having a ridiculous amount of them between place settings & serving pieces. And our first house had a crawl space, so every year Dh or I would be hauling these bins of unused dishes around trying to get to whatever seasonal décor we needed at the time. So yeah, they've basically just taken up space and caused us extra work all of these years.
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Post by melanell on Sept 19, 2024 18:27:09 GMT
Ohhh one more thought - food. I seem to be physically incapable of cooking a nice meal that would feed fewer than ten people. Even if there are only four of us at the table. I need to work on that because with the kids out of the house, leftovers don’t get eaten up the way they used to. I imagine this will be a really be adjustment when my kids move out.
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smartypants71
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Post by smartypants71 on Sept 19, 2024 18:30:56 GMT
I tend to think the opposite as well. I buy only what I need and deal with the "what ifs" later. I don't want houseguests, so I don't need a big house. I do however want the big fridge with a big pantry because I like things organized and DH has a bad habit of buying too many hot sauces and snacks. Ha! I have a small SUV and DH has a 2 door sports car. I also happen to work in finance (budget planning mainly) so I am constantly doing financial models in my head to figure out if something is worth the money.
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Post by katlady on Sept 19, 2024 18:31:55 GMT
You just reminded me, however, that we recently bought new dishes and I got a service for 8. DH pointed out that I might want to get 12 "in case we have guests." Which is hilarious because we rarely have guests, we don't even live near anyone except MIL. But we went back and bought an additional set. When everyone including DD and her bf were here last week, we did use most of them over the course of the day before the dishwasher was run. So, guilty as charged?! We do have dishes and silverware for 12 people, and we use them. That is because we don't run the dishwasher every night. With just two of us, it takes a while for the dishwasher to get full enough to run it.
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Post by ntsf on Sept 19, 2024 18:37:22 GMT
I particularly see this in housing. we have a 1600 sq ft house.. raised three kids.. and I know many who have less space and more kids. now, retired, I don't regret the size of our house.. there are three of us living here. and we just live small.. mostly. our closets are tiny as are the rooms.
reason I don't shop at costco.. I need to go to store more often, as I have no pantry and a damp basement. and scant parking for one car.
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Post by melanell on Sept 19, 2024 18:56:08 GMT
I particularly see this in housing. we have a 1600 sq ft house.. raised three kids.. and I know many who have less space and more kids. now, retired, I don't regret the size of our house.. there are three of us living here. and we just live small.. mostly. our closets are tiny as are the rooms. reason I don't shop at costco.. I need to go to store more often, as I have no pantry and a damp basement. and scant parking for one car. Our basement is high risk for taking on water, and while that is a pain, as you said, it means we can't store much down there. DH does keep some tools up on some high heavy duty plastic shelves and/or in plastic bins. But beyond that, I find it's nice knowing one floor isn't full of stuff.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 19, 2024 18:56:15 GMT
I also happen to work in finance (budget planning mainly) so I am constantly doing financial models in my head to figure out if something is worth the money. I am sort of a "just-in-time" shopper for household items, including food. These two statements sum me up pretty well. The only thing I will say is that I am not concerned with price so much as value. It would be highly unusual for me to ever choose the biggest and best of anything. That's just not my MO and my budget doesn't usually allow for it. But, like I bake a lot of cookies and when we needed to replace our oven it was important to me to get one with convection. That's a feature that I figured was worth the money to me because I would be using it regularly. Same thing with some vegetables and fruits and buying organic. Some I really feel that the organic produce is very valuable and others (like bananas) I don't feel it's really valuable enough for me to pay the extra. One thing I will say is other than my craft stuff, I'm a pretty picky consumer. I tend to really think about whether a purchase is worthwhile or not. I have never been the kind of person who shops just because. There's got to be some kind of need usually (again, outside of yarn.)
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Sept 19, 2024 18:57:05 GMT
In my younger years, I was in that mindset and train of thought of "following, doing what is expected of me, doing whatever society in general expects, etc...".
I had everything necessary to entertain >> dishes, serveware, enough to have 20+ people, etc... If I were going to entertain I would need to have a full bar (glasses, alcohol, etc..). Always had multiple snack type things on hand (crackers, cheese, chip, dip, etc...). I went a step further and envisioned an ice cream and dessert bar. I had all the dishes, bowls, ice cream toppings, etc....
Then there was my *someday* home Library. I had so many books (anyone giving away books,...I gladly took them). Those books sat in 15? 20+? boxes for years. Moved the boxes many times over the years. Never had a home Library fully set up.
I had it all, because I thought as a young adult I had to be ready to entertain guests. I had all the things for my "dream home", but I never had my dream home. I just had boxes of stuff that would someday fill up my dream home. The thing is >> My idea of a "dream home" changed. I don't like entertaining. I don't enjoy having multiple people over. I like my home to be my quiet and content space. During those years, I was pretending to be someone that I am not. I was being what was expected. I was being what a sociopath (now ex-husband) expected. I was being what society expected. I was NOT being my true self.
Then my life changed. I figured out who *I* am. I figured out what kind of life I want to life. I figured out what kind of home I wanted. I let go of--donated or gave away all that "conceded to the expectations" stuff. I severely downsized. I haven't missed any of "that stuff". My "old way of life" is completely different than my current life. I make different choices. The *stuff* I have or the things I buy, fit my current lifestyle and makes me feel content and happy. I live my life for me now, and I don't worry about what anything else thinks or expects.
The only "too much" stuff that I now have is toilet paper, because I was down to one roll during the beginning of the pandemic when toilet paper was scarce and I was in a panic about running out. Thankfully I got some and didn't run out completely....but that has caused me to now have a "must have more than enough toilet paper" stockpile and inventory.
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Post by Basket1lady on Sept 19, 2024 19:20:27 GMT
I can see this is true for many. We see the convenience and ease of having more space or enough for every situation.
We bought a home last year and I had a really hard time finding one big enough, but not too big. (I still think our main living space is too small!) But we’ve lived in 3,500 and 5,000 sq ft and I loved it. We had a guest suite that we used often, a living room and family room, big eat in kitchen… I loved it. It was really hard to give up the idea that I needed all of that since we used the space. But I definitely don’t need a house that size now that the kids are out of the house and no longer host slumber parties every week.
I currently planning a gut job for the kitchen and am taking the dining room as half pantry, half mud room. My parents can’t imagine not having a dining room. But we’ve used it less than a dozen times since moving here a year ago. I’d use a dining room and pantry daily and company (family) can eat at the island or I’ll set up a table. It’s fine. But there’s that temptation for a big fridge and a second oven.
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FurryP
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Post by FurryP on Sept 19, 2024 20:10:34 GMT
I don't feel I do that. But on the other hand we did have a house with a formal living room that we never used because we spent our time in the "family room" when we had guests. But I did not look for a house that way. It just was. But I learned from it and our current home as no formal living room. It does have a formal dining room which we use as an office. So now every room gets used. Our "breakfast area" is big enough to seat 6, so that is good enough.
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Post by lisae on Sept 19, 2024 20:13:34 GMT
I will preface this by saying that we just began this week a renovation that will convert our much-too-sunny sunroom into my art studio. The room could be another bedroom if we sold the house. I'm adding about 60 square feet total to the house in this process but making the room vastly more usable, I hope.
I've been paring down and finding we generally need less space. (We are doing this renovation because the old windows were rotting, and we had to do something so I felt we might as well make the space usable and add value to the house.) I had a mental wish list for a new house that included a larger kitchen but lately I think I'm perfectly fine in the size kitchen I have. The main thing I wanted was a bigger pantry. But why? When I thought about what I was storing, I realized most of that extra stuff were things seldom, if ever, needed. I could even pare down the amount of cabinets I have and I don't have a large kitchen by today's standards.
If I were building a new house, the thing I would make larger is the garage. I would put in storage bins to hold all those things you need infrequently. Garage square footage cost is a lot less than regular household space and you don't heat and cool it.
My next vehicle will be smaller as I seldom haul around more people and I no longer need to haul so much stuff. I'm planning to get rid of a bunch of Christmas stuff this season. It's beautiful but I just don't see myself doing all the decorating I once did. That was something my Mother really appreciated and it isn't the same without her. The Christmas stuff isn't taking up physical space I need as it is in the attic, but it is taking up mental space. Every year I try to talk myself into decorating and feeling guilty I'm not using those items. Time for someone else to love many of them.
So for me it is about shifting priorities and generally moving toward "less is more."
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 19, 2024 20:52:52 GMT
I feel like having six kids has given me some perspective on this in a very weird way. I'm pretty frequently in conversation with someone who says something like "no one needs a car that seats eight, why do so many people buy them" or "why does everyone want these four- and five-bedroom houses" and I try to gently explain that actually some people have enough people in their household (maybe kids, but also maybe multi-generational households) that the cars/houses/Costco-sized box of snacks/whatever is actually helpful, and then they try to convince me that somehow the people are the unnecessary things and a household shouldn't be that large . I say this because in a weird way I think we've kind of untethered consumption from necessity and decentered people in the whole process. I'm as guilty as anyone of buying things I don't really need (I do not need as much china as I have, I just like collecting china), but yeah, like, more people need more space and stuff, fewer people need less stuff, that is kind of logical. My mother, as I have posted, has mild dementia (I think, she won't see a doctor) at this point, but/and I've been trying to gently persuade her to move to a more accessible apartment; housing prices have risen, and she'd need to downsize from a two-bedroom apartment to a one-bedroom. Even though she is one person, she is having a hard time letting go of the idea that she needs the extra bedroom "in case."
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Post by MsChiff on Sept 19, 2024 20:53:07 GMT
We live in an 1150 sq ft home (2 bed, 2 bath), no basement or attic. It's perfect for us! I'm retired and DH works at home. We use the common area all the time, sleep in the smaller bedroom and the larger bedroom is our guest/my craft room. I tend to buy consumables in large quantities because I don't enjoy shopping and will wait until it's necessary to go. We have one car, a Civic. My husband has a motorcycle because he loves riding it and we're in Florida so he can use it pretty much all year except when it's too hot (even then, it usually cools off enough at night for him to take it out).
We have a small refrigerator and I may get a larger one because I have to drink a lot of fluids during the day. I like options besides plain water and I like my drinks COLD. I have no use for multiple ovens, a dishwasher, multiple sets of dishes or glassware. I read books on my Kindle, so I don't have book clutter and have books at my fingertips. I'm getting ready to pare my wardrobe way down. I'm also thinking of scaling way back on crafting supplies; I certainly don't 'need' all I have.
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Post by melanell on Sept 19, 2024 21:36:09 GMT
I currently planning a gut job for the kitchen and am taking the dining room as half pantry, half mud room. My parents can’t imagine not having a dining room. But we’ve used it less than a dozen times since moving here a year ago. I’d use a dining room and pantry daily and company (family) can eat at the island or I’ll set up a table. It’s fine. But there’s that temptation for a big fridge and a second oven. I've known or do know so many people who use their dining rooms for other things---especially now that kitchens, on the average, are larger than they used to be. I've seen them used as bedrooms, playrooms, offices, homeschool rooms, a game room, a library, and in one house, it was just left empty. You'd walk in and be greeted by a completely empty room. One couple pointed out that the rear of their house was set up as the den, the eat-in portion of the kitchen, the working part of the kitchen---with seating at the island, and then the dining room. They said "Why do we need 3 areas specifically meant for seating all in a row?" The funny thing was that they said when it was just the 2 of them at home, and when they had parties, they typically ate in the den! So I hope you love your pantry & mud room!
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Sept 19, 2024 22:26:24 GMT
Because we live with the 'what ifs?'
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Post by AussieMeg on Sept 19, 2024 23:36:26 GMT
I desperately wanted a seven seater car when my kids were younger, because we often had to take two cars to places if the kids were taking friends or cousins. It would also be handy now, when we go out with two other couples, so we can all go in the one car. But I've only ever had a five seat sedan.
If I'd had the money, I would have bought a house that had more bedrooms than we needed. We have two kids, and a three bedroom / one study house. Thank goodness for the study! But I would have liked a spare bedroom as well. Now that DD has moved into her own home, I finally have my spare bedroom haha.
This is kind of on-topic..... A while ago I read an article about how hard it is for young families to find decent sized houses without having to move way out woop-woop, because the Boomers are hanging onto their four bedroom family homes even though their kids are all grown up and moved out. These people think that older couples should all downsize into smaller homes or apartments, and free up the four bedroom houses to young families. I understand their frustration, but nope, not gonna do that.
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Post by Basket1lady on Sept 20, 2024 1:10:35 GMT
I currently planning a gut job for the kitchen and am taking the dining room as half pantry, half mud room. My parents can’t imagine not having a dining room. But we’ve used it less than a dozen times since moving here a year ago. I’d use a dining room and pantry daily and company (family) can eat at the island or I’ll set up a table. It’s fine. But there’s that temptation for a big fridge and a second oven. I've known or do know so many people who use their dining rooms for other things---especially now that kitchens, on the average, are larger than they used to be. I've seen them used as bedrooms, playrooms, offices, homeschool rooms, a game room, a library, and in one house, it was just left empty. You'd walk in and be greeted by a completely empty room. One couple pointed out that the rear of their house was set up as the den, the eat-in portion of the kitchen, the working part of the kitchen---with seating at the island, and then the dining room. They said "Why do we need 3 areas specifically meant for seating all in a row?" The funny thing was that they said when it was just the 2 of them at home, and when they had parties, they typically ate in the den! So I hope you love your pantry & mud room! In more than one house, I’ve used the dining room as my studio. I loved being near the kitchen and accessible to the kids vs being secluded in a bedroom or a basement. In fact, that’s why I have nice furniture—I wanted it to look decent from the door/foyer.
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Post by chaosisapony on Sept 20, 2024 1:21:34 GMT
I know a lot of people that shop like this and arrange their life around a series of "well what if someday..." and sometimes they're very glad they did so and other times it winds up being a waste.
I live in a 3 bedroom house. I am single and do not want any children. But I got a 3 bedroom house because they are much easier to find than a 2 bedroom. So I have a bedroom, a craft room, and an office. It's great. But the fact that I have no guest bedroom seems to really bother some people. "What if you have someone that needs to stay the night?" "What about the holidays?" Not my problem. These mythical guests can sleep on the couch or bring an air mattress or get a hotel. In my six years here I have had one overnight guest. She slept on the sofa in the living room. I don't feel the need to buy a bunch of furniture and dedicate an entire room in my house to something I maybe, one day, just might need.
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Post by ghislaine on Sept 20, 2024 1:39:53 GMT
It's pickup trucks that represent this kind of over-consumption to me the most. They have gotten so ridiculously large that I am barely tall enough to be seen from the driver's seat if I were standing at the front bumper. The beds are much higher too which makes loading them more difficult. Then again I think a lot of people who buy them only need the bed just a few times a year.
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Post by melanell on Sept 20, 2024 1:46:09 GMT
This is kind of on-topic..... A while ago I read an article about how hard it is for young families to find decent sized houses without having to move way out woop-woop, because the Boomers are hanging onto their four bedroom family homes even though their kids are all grown up and moved out. These people think that older couples should all downsize into smaller homes or apartments, and free up the four bedroom houses to young families. I understand their frustration, but nope, not gonna do that. That's fascinating because here we have the opposite problem--people trying to get into home ownership are struggling because it's incredibly difficult to buy small homes. Investors buy many of them up right away, then rent them out for ridiculous amounts of money, plus people downsizing often have the ability to outbid someone coming in from the rental market. Plus of course, over time, people buy small homes and later add to them, so the number of small homes keeps dwindling since people don't tend to build new small homes to replace the ones that were built in decades past. I just did a quick check in my zip code and 41% of the single family homes for sale have 3 bedrooms, 39% have 4 bedrooms, 14% have 5 or 6 bedrooms, and only 6% are 2 bedroom homes.
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Post by melanell on Sept 20, 2024 1:49:18 GMT
It's pickup trucks that represent this kind of over-consumption to me the most. They have gotten so ridiculously large that I am barely tall enough to be seen from the driver's seat if I were standing at the front bumper. The beds are much higher too which makes loading them more difficult. Then again I think a lot of people who buy them only need the bed just a few times a year.
DH recently pointed out to me a pick-up truck that had shifted so much of its overall space to seating, that the bed actually had less room for cargo than if we were to lower our car's back seats and slide something into the hatchback. But yes, i agree that we know people who own pick-ups and very rarely use the available cargo space.
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Post by wordyphotogbabe on Sept 20, 2024 1:57:00 GMT
I get what you're saying. I have friends who have a giant 4000+ square foot for two adults and one child (and will not be expanding their family). They have a dozen+ rooms in that house + an entire finished basement and only use two bedrooms, half of the first floor, and the basement once a week for the husband's gaming. They justified buying a house that large because they were sure that the husband would need to entertain people from work + the wife would have regular get-togethers with friends and family... but they get home from work every day and watch TV until bedtime. On the other hand, when my husband and I traveled out of the country this summer, they were very (vocally) jealous and said some snarky things when all I could think was that the reason we had that money is because our house is less than half the size of theirs and with a larger family to boot! The wife in the relationship wants to stay home with their child but they both have to work FT to pay for the mortgage and other household-associated bills (though they DoorDash 2-3 times a week, have a maid, have a dogwalker, etc. so they're not all necessities) and she refuses to consider selling the house. It makes absolutely no sense to me.
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