Have you ever successfully stopped talking so much?

Maybe change your focus from talking less to listening more?

IDK, I tend to be the opposite, and have to force myself to talk in many situations. I think you'll find that many people enjoy having a friend who carries the bulk of the conversation, as long as said friend isn't interrupting them when they do talk.

Could you try redirecting your conversation skills to asking a lot of questions? That gives you a way to interact, and it makes it about the other person. I'm close to someone who takes over conversations, and while it is nice to have the pressure off me to be engaging, its sometimes hard for other voices to be heard.

I would focus on not interrupting, and also not responding and making it about you (which can be hard to do).

Sometimes I can be a talker, then I remember that most people aren’t interested. I tune people out when they start rambling.

Go into your encounters with lots of questions you can ask. Look for opportunities to ask open ended questions (what, where, why, when) in conversations. The more you get other people to talk, the less you will be.

I struggle with this too. It didn't start until I was home most of the time either by myself or just DH and me. When I get around other people, I'm happy to have someone to converse with and I often overdo my side of the conversation.

This describes one of my coworkers. You can barely get 5 words out about *anything* and she takes over with something she, her friend, her family member... has done related to it. And it goes on forever.

Yes. I realized awhile ago that I am a dominant talker. I fight with my urge to interrupt, because I always have a comment “on deck,” in my mind.

2 things have helped me:

When I have a comment that I am anxious to blurt out, I stop, and allow the other person to finish completely…and, then I wait for a pause, and I DON’T GIVE MY COMMENT. Almost always, the person will then add more information, when I was sure they were already done. So, then I will listen until they are fully done, and, often, my comment is no longer relevant, so, I keep it to myself. I have almost made it a little game in my head. :-D And, it’s interesting to see how the conversations go without my comment that I was SURE was so important to the conversation.

Next, I have adopted the phrase: “that’s so interesting! Tell me more about that.” I try to always make that comment in a conversation once or twice. It’s been a game changer for me.

2 easy things that have helped me to become better at not talking as much, and, being a better listener.

Great advice! 

I had a talker friend and honestly, it was exhausting and pretty boring. There were times she’d talk while I was talking and keep going even if I made a point of not stopping when she interrupted. After a while I just couldn’t be around her anymore. I think it’s great you are looking for ways to change. She never did. 

OMG, just today we suffered through lunch with the neighbor’s nephew (40 something dude) who seriously never.shut.up. Throughout the entire lunch. 🥱 It was almost painful. I was surprised he had time to eat because he yammered on endlessly about the stupidest stuff.

I can generally deal with it if the person is otherwise interesting or at least pleasant. But this guy is a narcissistic bore who just loves talking about himself endlessly. 

I was this type of person. I was the child that every report card was annotated- RS talks too much! I had so many thoughts and opinions. I just couldn’t wait to share them.

Unfortunately, it carried over into adulthood. I don’t remember the details, but as a young adult, someone finally turned to me and said “ Will you please shut up! No one cares what you have to say and what your opinion is. Absolutely no one.”

Ever since that happened, I have worked diligently to learn to listen. I formulate my thoughts and ideas in my head and try to measure whether or not anyone would be interested in hearing about what I think. The answer is rarely yes.

This process has carried over even into things like this message board. Does anyone really care what I think, what my opinion is, my thoughts, my ideas? No, they do not care. So I read, I listen, but I do not respond. this philosophy works well for me.

My issue is that my voice gets loud. Not that I’m angry, that’s not it. But I generally talk to my friends on the phone a lot. I get excited and my voice goes up. I’m sure it’s irritating. I am aware of it and try to tone it down. But usually, I’m not successful for very long.

My son and my grandson ( his nephew ) have very soft voices. That type of voice draws you in. Mine is just the opposite. 😵‍💫

I was taught to give your information in layers .

Start with the bones and let the person you’re talking with either add the meat (their thoughts on the topic) or ask for the meat (more information from you).

It helps a ton. Pare down your information at the start so you can have a genuine back-and-forth conversation.