breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,584 
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on Oct 25, 2024 14:11:57 GMT
My birthday was last Sunday (the 20th.) My mother-in-law called DH (he was driving, I was in the car as well) for what I thought was my annual birthday phone call but wanted to talk about something family related having to do with my brother-in-law. DH told her we were going to a movie for my birthday. MIL said she'd sent a card.
On Wednesday (the 23rd) mother-in-law called to say happy birthday, and sorry the call was late. I thought it was a little weird since she'd already called on Sunday but said it was no big deal, my mom had gotten mixed up and said happy birthday in September (my mom quickly figured out she had the wrong month.) Mother-in-law said "we know your birthday is on the 22nd," then said she had to go and hung up.
Do you say something, or just shrug it off as she's stressed about this thing with my brother-in-law? Just curious.
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Post by voltagain on Oct 25, 2024 14:14:46 GMT
My birthday was last Sunday (the 20th.) My mother-in-law called DH (he was driving, I was in the car as well) for what I thought was my annual birthday phone call but wanted to talk about something family related having to do with my brother-in-law. DH told her we were going to a movie for my birthday. MIL said she'd sent a card. On Wednesday (the 23rd) mother-in-law called to say happy birthday, and sorry the call was late. I thought it was a little weird since she'd already called on Sunday but said it was no big deal, my mom had gotten mixed up and said happy birthday in September (my mom quickly figured out she had the wrong month.) Mother-in-law said "we know your birthday is on the 22nd," then said she had to go and hung up. Do you say something, or just shrug it off as she's stressed about this thing with my brother-in-law? Just curious. What is your goal for the correction? I would not say anything. |
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,503
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Oct 25, 2024 14:24:10 GMT
This happens to me, too. Every year from a specific person I get the birthday text or call the day before. I just say "Thank you! We plan to go for dinner (or whatever). " My feeling is that they are thinking of you. Who cares if the actual date is wrong.
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,247
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Oct 25, 2024 14:25:20 GMT
I wouldn't say anything especially after she said she sent a card.
My birthday was on the 16th, and my son-in-law texted me yesterday apologizing for being late with greetings, as he thought my birthday was on the 26th. It's all good. I appreciated the gesture even though it was late.
I'd let it go and move on.
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,247
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Oct 25, 2024 14:27:06 GMT
Another funny one this year was my former MIL. She texted me on the 12th to wish me happy birthday even though she knew she was early. She said she didn't want to forget on my actual day and was thinking about me. She texted me again on the 16th and I graciously accepted both greetings.
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Post by compeateropeator on Oct 25, 2024 14:37:35 GMT
I, personally, would have your husband tell her as it is his mother. I also would want to know, I had the wrong date by one day for a friend’s birthday for years. I so wish I knew the actual date. Not that I might not be late with cards or greetings but at least I have a shot of being on time and/or at least getting it right.
ETA - if this is just a one year thing and they get it right most every year I would not say anything. But if she really thinks it is on an incorrect day I think she should some how be told. I, myself, would be embarrassed if I got a close family member’s birthday wrong year after year. People talk about letting someone walk around with spinach in their teeth…if you know someone has something incorrect (and they were open to knowing the truth 😉) why would you not tell them? Again a one time deal, no need to say anything.
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Post by disneypal on Oct 25, 2024 14:43:59 GMT
I just shrug it off.
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Post by gar on Oct 25, 2024 14:47:30 GMT
Does she normally get it right?
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Post by melanell on Oct 25, 2024 14:52:15 GMT
I wouldn't say anything. They still reached out to wish you a happy birthday, and within a close time frame, so unless this was an additional instance of a string of related issues, I would just say "Thank you" and not give it much more thought.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 3,033
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Post by TXMary on Oct 25, 2024 14:55:42 GMT
I would shrug it off, especially if she's very stressed about something else. She did acknowledge it in a phone call and sent a card even if she didn't have the date right.
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Post by scrapmaven on Oct 25, 2024 15:00:14 GMT
Say, "thank you" and let it go.
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Post by MichyM on Oct 25, 2024 15:02:22 GMT
I'm with the others. I wouldn't say anything.
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Post by gillyp on Oct 25, 2024 15:15:14 GMT
It wouldn’t bother me, I’d let it go.
My husband is meticulous at remembering dates but for a laugh told various people mine was two days later than it was. This went on for years until he was asked to put my dob on an official form and couldn’t remember when it was.
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Post by kristi521 on Oct 25, 2024 15:35:49 GMT
I wouldn't. My MIL reaches out to wish us a happy anniversary the day before every year. My husband correct her, I thank her. I appreciate that she is thinking of us and it is close.
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Post by kristi521 on Oct 25, 2024 15:36:17 GMT
Deleting text from duplicate post.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Oct 25, 2024 18:13:58 GMT
Wouldn't bother me in the least. Honestly the best thing about facebook is I get more birthdays right than the old days when I relied on my own memory. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate, so would let it go.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 25, 2024 18:41:38 GMT
I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m at the age where the only birthday greetings I get are cards (or texts) from the insurance agent and dentist, LOL.
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Post by Merge on Oct 25, 2024 18:45:42 GMT
MIL has been doing this more and more over the past couple of years - getting important dates wrong, that is. We just brush it off. It's not done out of malice and it would hurt her feelings if we said something.
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Post by giraffemom on Oct 25, 2024 18:48:25 GMT
From MIL, I would probably let it go. My own mother this year told me happy birthday two days off of my actual birthday. I did not correct her, but I am still irritated. We don't have a great relationship anyway and this was just crappy icing on the birthday cake for me.
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FurryP
Drama Llama
To pea or not to pea...
Posts: 7,280
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Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Oct 25, 2024 19:22:00 GMT
I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m at the age where the only birthday greetings I get are cards (or texts) from the insurance agent and dentist, LOL. I knew my birthday was coming up on the weekend (couple of weeks ago) but kind of forgot about it. While we were out early Saturday morning doing some errands the eye doctor's birthday text reminded me it was my birthday! We ended up going to an unplanned breakfast outing.  |
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Oct 25, 2024 19:36:11 GMT
Well, according to my DS you are over the age of 25 so your birthday should not be acknowledged. He thinks it is weird to celebrate of acknowledge birthdays if you are over 25. Of course he said this on my birthday when neither DS or DH had planned anything. We did go out for supper to a place I got to choose. It was a very nice evening. Growing up there was always something else going on, so my birthday was often an after thought of the day. Not that I am bitter about it or anything.  |
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Post by don on Oct 25, 2024 20:16:40 GMT
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. Just let it go.
A wise old woman once told me, sometimes you have to hug the people you don’t like, so you know the size of the hole to dig in your back yard.
It was that day I became more open to hugging.
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Post by librarylady on Oct 26, 2024 1:16:45 GMT
Sort of related--
One year Mom called about something on my birthday. We talked about that and then she was saying goodbye. I said wait, "Don't you want ant to say something...Happy birthday?"
She was trying to cover up forgetting and said, "Oh, I knew it was your birthday, but there's nothing I can do about that."
😁
I thought that was funny. I always felt loved, so I was not offended. By then she was in her 80s and had many children and grandchildren so, it was OK to not remember.
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Post by lucyg on Oct 26, 2024 4:19:10 GMT
I don’t see it as a big deal. More something to chuckle about than anything else. Would not bother correcting her. Maybe if it were my own mother, as I do expect HER to remember what day I was born.  But she would just laugh about it, not be embarrassed. |
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Post by mom on Oct 26, 2024 15:44:19 GMT
I don't think anyone is expected to remember my birthday unless I shared a womb with them, sleep with them, or gave birth to them.
I wouldn't correct anyone other than my twin brother (who should know) and my DH (but he's yet to get it wrong). My mom is passed already so she isn't getting it wrong, and my Dad is older so if he acknowledged it at all, I am grateful.
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Post by mom on Oct 26, 2024 15:45:56 GMT
MIL has been doing this more and more over the past couple of years - getting important dates wrong, that is. We just brush it off. It's not done out of malice and it would hurt her feelings if we said something. I think this is important - if the intention is true and good, then just let it go. |
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Post by epeanymous on Oct 26, 2024 15:47:31 GMT
I wouldn’t say anything now. If she did it next year and you have a good relationship, I might tell her in a way that sounds like it’s my fault; I don’t think I’d love it if someone I was close to knew I was making a mistake about their birthday and didn’t let me know, because I want to be honoring them on the right date  . |
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Post by peasapie on Oct 26, 2024 17:02:13 GMT
I don't correct, per se, but I mention in passing something I'm doing for my birthday. I just feel like it's a nice thing to do.
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artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,396
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Post by artbabe on Oct 26, 2024 17:03:59 GMT
What you do is make her a calendar this Christmas (Shutterfly or similar) and have everyone in the family's birthday on it. I give those out every year to my father and other family. One year I forgot and Dad asked me to make him one, so I know he looks forward to it.
I'd hate to get someone's birthday wrong year after year. The longer it goes on, the more embarrassing it is. I'm surprised more people wouldn't tell her- but I guess it isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
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Post by bc2ca on Oct 26, 2024 17:14:06 GMT
Wouldn't bother me in the least. Honestly the best thing about facebook is I get more birthdays right than the old days when I relied on my own memory. It sounds like she has a lot on her plate, so would let it go.  I'm also in the shrug it off camp. I'm not sure what the point of saying anything would be, but fully admit I don't track who sends cards or messages on the actual day. |
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But she would just laugh about it, not be embarrassed.
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