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Post by JustCallMeMommy on Oct 31, 2024 13:55:34 GMT
I think she should do whatever she is comfortable with. I reused my anniversary band as my 2nd wedding band. I picked it out and told my ex what I wanted. I might have paid for it - I don't remember. When I think about the ring, it isn't my ex in my mind. The engagement ring was his mom's, and it looks perfect with my band.
I told DH early on that we both have nice diamonds, and it would be silly to buy new while we were also paying for a wedding.
One thing we did at the wedding was to pass both of our rings around so everyone could say a prayer or infuse positive thoughts on them. It was one of the best moments of the wedding because we got to take in the moment with all of our friends and loved ones.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,859 
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Post by scrapngranny on Oct 31, 2024 16:37:59 GMT
The old rings come with baggage.
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Post by Laurie on Oct 31, 2024 17:42:55 GMT
That wouldn't be my thing. However, I am not in the relationship so I guess it wouldn't matter. If he is okay with it and she is okay with it then that is what counts.
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miascraps
Full Member
Posts: 379
Jun 26, 2014 15:37:58 GMT
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Post by miascraps on Oct 31, 2024 17:48:30 GMT
Totally up to her and her potential partner. No judgement.
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,714
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Post by hannahruth on Nov 2, 2024 9:01:14 GMT
I think it's very sensible but there are few things more symbolic than a wedding ring so I find it hard to separate that from the logical aspect. I agree it is sensible but I would not wear it - to me it is from the previous marriage and if I was starting over I would want a new set. I really can’t imagine that the new husband doesn’t mind even if he says he doesn’t. |
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,714
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Post by hannahruth on Nov 2, 2024 9:02:25 GMT
The old rings come with baggage. Absolutely |
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Post by peasapie on Nov 2, 2024 12:02:54 GMT
My DH and I both did this - he had a ring he’d never worn in his first marriage and I had a wedding band/engagement set that I loved but had never worn. We both used them and have no regrets.
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Post by chaosisapony on Nov 2, 2024 17:20:45 GMT
I think she's being smart. She picked out something that she loves and isn't placing an emotional burden on it so why not just keep wearing it? I can see the bf not really getting it but I've known so many women that have wound up with engagement rings they really don't like and then have to decide to wear it forever or hurt their fiance's feelings by getting a new ring that this just seems sensible to me.
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Post by disneypal on Nov 2, 2024 17:36:45 GMT
It’s unusual for sure, but if she loves it & doesn’t associate it DH#1, then I say why not?
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Post by cmpeter on Nov 2, 2024 22:12:55 GMT
I might wear the engagement ring on my right hand. But, I think I’d be uncomfortable wearing a previous wedding ring on my left hand. I wouldn’t want dh wearing a previous wedding ring either.
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Post by epeanymous on Nov 2, 2024 22:35:45 GMT
I could not do that, but it’s not my life or my finger.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,596
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Nov 2, 2024 23:07:20 GMT
I agree that it's between her and the bf, 100% That said, I think I would have a hard time with it. I love my rings, and I so clearly remember shopping for them with DH. They are so tied up with THIS marriage, I think I'd have a hard time "applying" them to a different one. But I guess because DH and I are still happily married, maybe I can't relate as well. I am just curious, would it make a difference to some if the ring set was a set that she had passed down from a parent or grandparent and then used for her first marriage? Would it then be acceptable to use the same set for a 2nd marriage? Oddly, this would make a difference to me! If it weren't chosen/purchased for her by the ex, I wouldn't have as big a problem... But again, that's me - she and her bf should do as they see fit. If the first marriage produced kids who might want the rings for their own weddings, that would figure in my decision. I wonder if the bf could get her a band that coordinates with the rings she has/loves? They could use the new band in the ceremony, and then she could wear any combo of the old and new in her regular life. ETA my own rings were from an estate jewelry store. The wedding band has an engraving inside that DH and I both loved - I felt like, no matter how that marriage may have ended (death or divorce), it certainly started out delightfully. I am so grateful that the set was available for us. |
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