pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,748
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Mar 9, 2025 14:31:50 GMT
Neither of my kids are right wing. We live in NYC and diversity is the norm here. My sons best friend is Muslim and his girlfriend is Chinese adopted by a Jewish family. When they were growing up we travelled every summer to Europe, Mexico etc so when Trump calls every other country a piece of shit they know it’s not true. I really don’t know how I would feel about them being Trumpers. It would not have bothered me years ago it the voted Republican but it would bother me now. I also think what is happening now is more than politics. It’s about oppression of certain groups so a lack of empathy would indicate what kind of persons they are. In general outside of my nuclear family I prefer not to know who they vote for.
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msladibug
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,770
Jul 10, 2014 2:31:46 GMT
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Post by msladibug on Mar 9, 2025 14:49:06 GMT
I also have the feeling deeep in my bones that a lot of folks really just don't get what's going on. They don't follow anything that going on in the world aroundthem and the rest of the world. They are so tied up in social media that they really just don't get it. and won't til it's too late..
Take your heads out of the Phones!
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artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,844
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:10 GMT
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Post by artbabe on Mar 9, 2025 15:24:02 GMT
I do not talk politics with my dad. He does kind of interject it sometimes, but he generally respects the "no talking about politics" rule.
It is hard to do because he is very conservative and I am not. He believes Fox News. My sister will challenge him on things and she is usually really informed and he doesn't have any rebuttal because he only knows Fox talking points. She is pretty skilled at it. I am not that skilled and not that brave. I had one admittedly beer fueled discussion with him that got very hot, so I've learned my lesson. I am very angry about who he voted for. I kind of blame the whole presidency on him- like he was the one vote that tipped it over.
It is hard though, because pretty much everything is about social issues anymore. It is sad that empathy for marginalized people, for example, has become a political topic.
I do talk about politics with my 22-year-old nephew. He leans the same way as I do.
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Post by malibou on Mar 9, 2025 15:47:06 GMT
Ds24 more or less leans like we do. If his feelings differ, he is allowed to bring it up, but we don't do heated in this house. We say our piece and then listen.
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Post by nightnurse on Mar 9, 2025 15:58:46 GMT
You don’t talk about politics or religion if it is contentious. I’ve always hated this idea, especially to teach to children. How can people learn how to discuss and reason and debate appropriately and effectively if talking about some of the most important topics is off limits?
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twinsmomfla99
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,248
Jun 26, 2014 13:42:47 GMT
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Post by twinsmomfla99 on Mar 9, 2025 16:00:05 GMT
I am truly blessed that all my immediate family are on the same side of the political divide—DH, daughters, Mom, siblings—so family gatherings are not contentious. DH’s brother and his wife are very conservative and lean toward trump but as far as I can tell are not hardcore trumpers. We only see them every few years, so it has never been a big deal to just avoid discussing politics with them. But DH does occasionally have to shut down a phone conversation that veers to far into political discussion.
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Post by padresfan619 on Mar 9, 2025 16:07:10 GMT
Only side of the family, extended included, there’s really only a handful of conservatives. Absolutely no MAGA. So we pretty much all agree Trump is a nutcase. My aunt bought a tesla before we knew Elon was crazy, she refuses to drive it now until her anti Elon sticker arrives.
My husbands side of the family is different. Full blown MAGA. We don’t spend much time with them and when we do we don’t talk politics. Which is difficult because when we do visit my MIL blasts NewsMax at full volume all day long.
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Post by cmpeter on Mar 9, 2025 17:32:31 GMT
Luckily it’s not an issue as we all align politically.
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Post by flanz on Mar 9, 2025 17:46:34 GMT
I feel very grateful not to have this issue. It must be so tough!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Mar 9, 2025 18:01:41 GMT
Most of my extended family are similarly aligned. The one that is not isn’t local anymore so I just try to avoid talking to her altogether.
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FurryP
Prolific Pea
 
To pea or not to pea...
Posts: 7,797
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Mar 9, 2025 21:01:27 GMT
I also have the feeling deeep in my bones that a lot of folks really just don't get what's going on. They don't follow anything that going on in the world aroundthem and the rest of the world. They are so tied up in social media that they really just don't get it. and won't til it's too late.. Take your heads out of the Phones!I was having a discussion with my friend a couple of weeks ago. She said everyone where she lives was going crazy about everything the felon is doing. She then said she was just going to live her life and not be like those people. I had to slap her upside the head and reminded her that her husband is hispanic and could get deported because they arrest first, ask questions later (he has legal status). She has a son and a brother that benefit from medicaid. Her mother collects social security, and she has a young twenty-something daughter. I just SMH. I can't make her put in any effort to get informed. And she is not even on her phone.
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Post by epeanymous on Mar 9, 2025 21:07:49 GMT
We are all (my kids and our parents) on the same side of the political spectrum, which doesn’t me we agree about everything politically but does mean that the disagreements aren’t that contentious. I remember the fights I had with my extended family members when I was a teen and they would say really offensive things in front of me and then tell me I would agree with them when I got older. I am now older than they were. They were wrong  .
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Post by brynn on Mar 9, 2025 21:15:28 GMT
Avoiding the topic. If they don't, I walk Away.
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Post by kamper on Mar 9, 2025 23:11:48 GMT
I lol’ed but I know it’s not funny. I hate to see families destroyed by politics! The thing is this is not a normal difference in politics. This is a difference in morals. We all want the same things. Physical safety, financial security, love, happiness. Some of us just want it for other people too. Yes, a difference in morals. I tried to explain this to a family member and it fell on deaf ears.
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Ryann
Pearl Clutcher
Love is Inclusive
Posts: 2,871
Location: PNW
May 31, 2021 3:14:17 GMT
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Post by Ryann on Mar 10, 2025 1:20:06 GMT
I lol’ed but I know it’s not funny. I hate to see families destroyed by politics! The thing is this is not a normal difference in politics. This is a difference in morals. We all want the same things. Physical safety, financial security, love, happiness. Some of us just want it for other people too. And this why I wholeheartedly reject the “why can’t we all just get along?” that gets thrown around ALL the time. It’s the new version of “hate the sin, love the sinner”. Just NO!
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Post by Merge on Mar 10, 2025 1:39:13 GMT
The thing is this is not a normal difference in politics. This is a difference in morals. We all want the same things. Physical safety, financial security, love, happiness. Some of us just want it for other people too. And this why I wholeheartedly reject the “why can’t we all just get along?” that gets thrown around ALL the time. It’s the new version of “hate the sin, love the sinner”. Just NO! When I hear that from a fellow straight white person, what I hear is, “Why can’t you just be OK with the fact that I want to shit on everyone who doesn’t look, speak, or live just like us?” Well gee, why can’t I? Another analogy for me would be dining out with people who are rude to the wait staff and/or don’t tip. Those are people I would not eat out with twice. Our sense of morality and fair play is just too far apart.
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Post by Merge on Mar 10, 2025 17:34:29 GMT
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huskergal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,086
Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on Mar 10, 2025 17:58:57 GMT
I would just avoid the topic. I am very thankful that my children are 100% with me when it comes to politics.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 3,165
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Mar 10, 2025 18:14:59 GMT
It depends on who and what we disagree on.
Most family that are very different than I am politically, I do not engage with on politics if I can, and I try to find ways to stay away from them; we do not stay away just because of politics, but their politics make them fundamentally so different, that I just don't want to invest my energy in a relationship at this point, and for at least some of them, it probably goes both ways. I don't see them seeking me out. If we are together, I mostly change the subject or remove myself if needed.
My dad passed away during the first Trump admin; he was a lifelong libertarian and we had many political conversations and debates over the years, but he was NOT MAGA, and he was always open to discussion and facts/logic and philosophical conversations. Luckily, my mom, DH and kids are somewhat similar to me. My boys are the ONLY people in this world that if they became hardcore MAGA, that I would still try and spend time with; I would also feel like I failed, but I would still want a relationship.
There seems to be no nuance with "most" MAGA right now. There are no philosophical discussions to be had (and yes, with SOME progressives as well). I don't know how to bridge that chasm. I also want to point out I am talking about MAGA and not someone just more conservative or fully non-MAGA conservative. We can agree to disagree.
I
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Post by jill8909 on Mar 10, 2025 18:42:21 GMT
it depends. I have no problem (and actually think it is good for the country) disagreeing with folks on issues - immigration, taxes, etc. We need those debates and I like to learn.
I have zero respect for anyone who voted for trump. he mocked a tortured POW and that was just the beginning of the cruelty and corruption. Dealbreaker. Luckily my children agree. Not so other people.
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Post by peace on Mar 10, 2025 20:30:58 GMT
i only have one kid and she is kinda my carbon copy so we have wonderful conversations and she is so well read. She would never be a conservative.
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Post by jill8909 on Mar 10, 2025 21:18:36 GMT
now I understand the civil war breaking up families.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama

Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,927
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Mar 10, 2025 23:58:50 GMT
My kids know they can talk to us about politics any time. Our only request is that if they express an opinion they be willing to hear an opinion they may not agree with. This approach has made it very easy for all of us to coexist. No one is forcing ideologies or opinions on anyone else in my family. Very mutually respectful.  My youngest is politically opposite but also says she doesn't follow politics or like them much. Fair. I don't bring up politics with her to respect her wishes. Likewise, when she brings it up, which she does occasionally, I'll ask her if she really wants to discuss it and hear my opinion (sometimes we agree, sometimes we disagree) or if she's just venting. I give her the option of continuing the conversation or not. If she doesn't, no problem. We stop. It's so important to be able to listen not just to opinions/views you agree with but also to listen to those you don't agree with. Really happy I can have these kinds of discussions with my kids even if we don't agree. My mother on the other hand.... 
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Post by needmysanity on Mar 11, 2025 13:48:13 GMT
We don't discuss politics with my mom, some of my siblings, and oldest son. There are too many hard-headed family members who can't seem to be respectful of each other's opinions.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 11, 2025 14:13:19 GMT
The only person in my family that I don't discuss politics with is my dad. Mostly because he believes he's always right. Although, this attitude applies to everything, not just politics. In his older age, he is mellowing and seems to better understand topics that should be off limits because he's destined to piss someone off. He's not perfect, but he's getting less "bull in a china shop" with his words. Only took him 77 years to get to this point. LOL!
My kids, though, I have always discussed politics with. Chloe is more left than I am. Esther was more right than I am on numerous topics (which probably surprises you because she was trans.) But both my kids were able to discuss hard things.
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Post by heckofagal on Mar 11, 2025 15:25:22 GMT
Luckily, both of my kids have similar views as myself. Though the eldest leans VERY HARD and I had to try to convince her that she could not just eliminate everyone who voted for Trump out of her life. (I know some of you will disagree with this.)
When we are with my in-laws we just kind of avoid the subject... more like dance around it probably as some thoughts are actually spoken on both sides. We tried to have a conversation with them after the Jan 6 incident and they thought it was all blown out of proportion. I have to give my mother-in-law credit for the progress she has made though. She used to be so anti-gay that she would protest companies that supported gay rights. No more Disney movies or merchandise as they have LGBTQ support days in their parks...She wouldn't buy a certain cereal brand as they had a commercial with a gay couple...She would cancel subscription to any magazine that had any gay ads. But now that her grandson has grown up and come out of the closet she has softened a bit on all of that.
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dawnnikol
Prolific Pea
 
'A life without books is a life not lived.' Jay Kristoff
Posts: 9,460
Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on Mar 11, 2025 15:38:37 GMT
Though the eldest leans VERY HARD and I had to try to convince her that she could not just eliminate everyone who voted for Trump out of her life. (I know some of you will disagree with this.) My children are not adults, so I didn't want to post on this thread and divert from the original intent. However, my children are teens and we've been having a lot of discussions about a lot of things that have happened. My parents never, ever talked about politics when we were growing up. I don't even know that they voted. It wasn't until Obama that I remember hearing my parents say anything about who should be President. Anyway. My girls tend to lean very black and white. No room for grey, so we have conversations about compromise and grey areas. Just because XYZ doesn't mean ABC and vise versa. I realize I still have time to speak with them which puts me in a different boat than the parents with adult kids, but I hope it means down the road we can all discuss things without worrying about being booted out of our family.
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,964
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Mar 11, 2025 15:41:56 GMT
Luckily, both of my kids have similar views as myself. Though the eldest leans VERY HARD and I had to try to convince her that she could not just eliminate everyone who voted for Trump out of her life. (I know some of you will disagree with this.) When we are with my in-laws we just kind of avoid the subject... more like dance around it probably as some thoughts are actually spoken on both sides. We tried to have a conversation with them after the Jan 6 incident and they thought it was all blown out of proportion. I have to give my mother-in-law credit for the progress she has made though. She used to be so anti-gay that she would protest companies that supported gay rights. No more Disney movies or merchandise as they have LGBTQ support days in their parks...She wouldn't buy a certain cereal brand as they had a commercial with a gay couple...She would cancel subscription to any magazine that had any gay ads. But now that her grandson has grown up and come out of the closet she has softened a bit on all of that. Isn't it amazing what knowing and loving a gay child can do. I wouldn't say that my parents were anti-gay, they just didn't approve, but when my son came out to them, their tune totally changed. Another grandchild is also gay but they aren't as close with her as they are my son so he had the biggest impact on them.
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Post by lbp on Mar 11, 2025 19:33:43 GMT
I do not discuss politics or religion with friends or family.
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