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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 11, 2015 4:28:14 GMT
My poor poor neighbor... she has been my great neighbor and good friend for almost seven years now. She has been through some tough times but she can be just a joy to have as a friend. Sweet as can be and would do ANYTHING for anyone. She mows neighbor's lawns, trims their trees if they can't, looks out for all the animals, anything like that. She knows everyone by first name. She walks a dog for a neighbor who had major back surgery..and not a one time deal.. she's been doing it for about six months now. No questions ask. She has gone to the hospital for another neighbor who thought she was having a heart attack. Waited with her for hours on end. The sadness though is that her grandson committed murder. Killed his girlfriend. She doesn't make excuses for him. She knows he did wrong. He knows he did wrong and will probably spend the rest of his life in jail (They just convicted him of 1st degree murder). He is ex-military and possible PSTD (but still no excuse... ) She is so torn up about it. It was just a shock to me when she finally told me about a year after it happened. She loves him with all her heart and it just so sad to see her be this way. It just so weird to actually see up close what happens to all the families involved. I never really knew anyone remotely close that has ever been involved in a crime like this. I still don't, just from the grandma's point of view. I do respect her views as she says he has to pay for what he did to her and her family. Anyways..... prayers for the girl's family and everyone who is involved..  I know I will go outside tomorrow and just see her out tending her yard and knowing she is just dying inside.... |
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Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,234 
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
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Post by Sue on Apr 11, 2015 4:46:46 GMT
Prayers for your neighbor. I imagine this tortures her soul continuously. I'll pray she finds peace.
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Post by anonrefugee on Apr 11, 2015 4:50:48 GMT
I lnow you meant your words to be kind, so I say this gently...
Instead of "Knowing She is Dying Inside" try respecting and admiring her strength for living a dignified life. It is hard being subjected to scrutiny and judgment by those who only know of the evil done by her grandson.
Maybe you can be someone who reinforces the good she has brought to your community. She might need someone to remind her she, and her family, have helped others not hurt them.
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Post by workingclassdog on Apr 11, 2015 4:59:27 GMT
I lnow you meant your words to be kind, so I say this gently... Instead of "Knowing She is Dying Inside" try respecting and admiring her strength for living a dignified life. It is hard being subjected to scrutiny and judgment by those who only know of the evil done by her grandson. Maybe you can be someone who reinforces the good she has brought to your community. She might need someone to remind her she, and her family, have helped others not hurt them. Oh I do respect her and admire her.. hence the post. I don't judge her or her family.... She is awesome. I help her out as much as I can (this isn't supposed to be about what I do for anyone..lol)... but I pray with her, sit with her on her front porch just to listen... etc.... My little six year old goes over there without an invite to just say hi. In fact, tomorrow when I walk out of the door for my errands I plan on just stopping and giving her a huge hug and give her a smile. (hopefully she is out and not staying inside) I know she is dying inside as she has told me.. I know her heart breaks but I know she is a strong woman!! |
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Apr 11, 2015 7:11:50 GMT
I hope people aren't treating her bad over this. It would be a shame that this poor lady who does so much for others may have friends distance themselves from her now. Good for you for sticking by her!
Prayers for the family of the woman murdered and prayers for this grandmother.
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Post by rainangel on Apr 11, 2015 9:28:36 GMT
How absolutely heartbreaking My thoughts go out to the girlfriends family and your neighbours family. This must be painful for everyone involved. I did like the suggestion of you reinforcing the good your neighbour brings to the community. |
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Post by lindah on Apr 11, 2015 10:52:39 GMT
This just shows that you never know what someone else is going through just by their outward appearances or actions.
Continue being a good friend to her &, as another poster said, reinforce what you have told us about her.
Thanks for sharing this.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 16, 2024 12:43:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2015 11:46:26 GMT
My grandson was murdered. I often think about and pray for the young man who killed him and his family and know their grief must be enormous.
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Apr 11, 2015 12:09:42 GMT
Oh I do respect her and admire her.. hence the post. I don't judge her or her family.... She is awesome. I help her out as much as I can (this isn't supposed to be about what I do for anyone..lol)... but I pray with her, sit with her on her front porch just to listen... etc.... My little six year old goes over there without an invite to just say hi. In fact, tomorrow when I walk out of the door for my errands I plan on just stopping and giving her a huge hug and give her a smile. (hopefully she is out and not staying inside) I know she is dying inside as she has told me.. I know her heart breaks but I know she is a strong woman!! You don't have to justify your words. Your post explained the situation perfectly. Poor woman. Poor everybody. |
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by mallie on Apr 11, 2015 13:32:34 GMT
I lnow you meant your words to be kind, so I say this gently... Instead of "Knowing She is Dying Inside" try respecting and admiring her strength for living a dignified life. It is hard being subjected to scrutiny and judgment by those who only know of the evil done by her grandson. Maybe you can be someone who reinforces the good she has brought to your community. She might need someone to remind her she, and her family, have helped others not hurt them. Oh I do respect her and admire her.. hence the post. I don't judge her or her family.... She is awesome. I help her out as much as I can (this isn't supposed to be about what I do for anyone..lol)... but I pray with her, sit with her on her front porch just to listen... etc.... My little six year old goes over there without an invite to just say hi. In fact, tomorrow when I walk out of the door for my errands I plan on just stopping and giving her a huge hug and give her a smile. (hopefully she is out and not staying inside) I know she is dying inside as she has told me.. I know her heart breaks but I know she is a strong woman!! Don't worry. Your intent was clear. You respect and admire her and grieve with her in her heartbreak. That is perfectly clear. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 16, 2024 12:43:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2015 13:36:06 GMT
My grandson was murdered. I often think about and pray for the young man who killed him and his family and know their grief must be enormous. Oh goodness... I am so sorry. I don't know if you've discussed this here before, but this is the first time I've read this. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 16, 2024 12:43:06 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 11, 2015 13:38:18 GMT
Workingclassdog, I think your neighbour is lucky to have you in her life, and it sounds like you are lucky to have her! I am sure there must be people who judge her harshly and treat her poorly for her grandson's actions, and I can't imagine the heartbreak and burden she must carry with her. It must be shocking to have such an awful crime hit close to your home. I think all too often we hear about murders and other horrible things that happen, and it's so common (not really in real life, just the news!) that it's easy to forget that the people involved not only have parents and siblings.. but grandparents, too. |
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
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Post by caro on Apr 11, 2015 13:39:49 GMT
What a strong lady. But she is probably dying inside. I hope she can express those feelings to you as you are her friend. No matter how strong a person looks, tumultuous events can really hurt. She needs to get it all out so she can continue to be the strong person she is.
I'm glad she has you as a neighbor!
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Post by lovetodigi on Apr 11, 2015 13:46:13 GMT
There are so many victims when someone commits a crime. She sounds like a wonderful lady and a great neighbor to have. I am sure that her heart is broken and she misses the grandson that she thought she knew. She is most likely hurting for the murder victims family as well. Very sad for all.
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Post by pattipea on Apr 11, 2015 16:37:47 GMT
There are so many victims when someone commits a crime. She sounds like a wonderful lady and a great neighbor to have. I am sure that her heart is broken and she misses the grandson that she thought she knew. She is most likely hurting for the murder victims family as well. Very sad for all. I completely agree with all of this. I'm sure she misses the sweet, little grandson he once was. I just hope she is not blaming herself for this. Although, I suppose it would be natural - what did I do wrong?, what signs didn't I catch?, what should I have done differently? - but, he is suffering the consequences of HIS choices. Heartbreaking for everybody. First for the victim and those she left behind, but also for the family and loved ones of the perpetrator. |
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Post by hosschick on Apr 11, 2015 17:45:29 GMT
My grandson was murdered. I often think about and pray for the young man who killed him and his family and know their grief must be enormous. Your compassion and heart are inspiring to me. I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandson, but please know that this post is precisely the jolt I needed as I have been struggling with forgiveness. Thank you. |
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Apr 11, 2015 20:27:20 GMT
That is so sad. prayers to the families.
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Post by candleangie on Apr 11, 2015 22:03:48 GMT
It's so sad. How heartbreaking for her.
We're in a similar boat. My DH's friend, who we've known and loved for 15+ years, shot three people in a bar. He didn't kill anyone (THANK GOD) but at least one was a head shot.
None of us can wrap our heads around it. We know him to just be the sweetest, most kind hearted friend. We're heart broken, both for the victims that are dealing with the medical and emotional fall out, and for Kenny and his family. It's so hard to love him and hate what he did and not know how to deal.......
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I know I will go outside tomorrow and just see her out tending her yard and knowing she is just dying inside....
