Calling grandparents on Easter?

We always call on holidays. It's difficult for people not with us to know our crazy schedules so it's easier for us to make the call than the other way around.

I always call my dad on Christmas, Fathers Day, his birthday but not on smaller occasions like Easter or Halloween. If the family gets together for dinner, he will sometimes call me so I can talk to the whole group.

DH only really talks to his mom on holidays. Sometimes he calls her, sometimes the other way around. She really wants to call at 7:00 pm the evening of our birthdays and our tradition is the birthday person gets to choose where we go out to eat so we aren't home. It really upsets her but she doesn't want to call earlier or later, the day before or the day after...just 7:00 on the birthday.

One of my coworkers is miffed right now because her son and daughter-in-law didn't call on Easter. So I guess it's a thing?

My children and grandchildren call me when we are not together on a holiday.  It's kind of a thing - my child gets on, then the grandchildren, then my DIL or SIL.

I call my mom.  My kids called my mom when they were younger.  Well, they still do, but I mean, as children, I dialed and wished her a Merry Whatever and then put them on the phone.  They looked forward to it then and still do.

My parents did the same thing when I was a kid.

I didn't even realize that we have that as a tradition (or habit?) until I typed it out.  LOL

If you don't have a tradition though, I'm not sure why any family member would let an occasion go by without calling.  With that said, holding a grudge rather than just picking up the phone to wish your children and grandchildren happiness is not appropriate or in the spirit of whatever occasion it is.  I wouldn't let her lay a guilt trip, I'd apologize and make sure the call was made from herein out. 

Sounds exactly like my mil. We are expected to either call or visit, preferably visit- even if it is not her year for the holiday. We go there on Christmas Eve and are still expected to call Christmas morning. She is never to be inconvenienced, just us. If she is travelling to visit her family in TN and we want her to take something, we take it to her home, which is reasonable. If we are going and she wants us to take something, she thinks we should come to her home and get it.

We just call. Or they call us. It really doesn't matter in our families. As long as someone calls the other at some point after church on the holiday its fine.

I always call my mom on holidays. DH isn't the best at calling, but I do try to remind him. Our parents won't be around forever, and calling just to say "Happy Easter" only takes a minute out of our day. It doesn't matter who calls who though. 

As far as holidays, I always call, as well as birthdays, Mother's Day etc. for me it's important to connect with my family, particularly because they live thousands of miles away. I'm not sure if it's as important for the rest of them. Different life situations I guess.
I do think the holiday calling is a thing though. Probably depends on their personal values.
I know some older people like the grandkids/kids to call because getting right down to it, they feel like they mean something to the kids and are thought about enough to get that call, so it's a kind of confirmation for them, being wanted, needed, thought of.

My mother always preferred us to call her (not just on holidays, but any day), as we were the ones with jobs and kids and commitments and chaos. She said she was usually home and could talk on the phone any time. I didn't always agree with, but never questioned, her reasoning. I just got in the habit of calling her.

Now, we're the grandparents (with a much less hectic life), and we tell our kids and grandkids the same thing.

This completely wears me out. I have a rather large extended family- 21 cousins, and we're scattered all over the country. Calling and cards for every birthday, every holiday, every everything just didn't happen. We have 100+ people at my mom's side of the family reunions with her cousins, etc. We are very informal with communication. At one point or other in my life we've lived near just about all of them- so we know them, but there's just too many to keep up with the day to day goings on of their lives. And that doesn't make me love them any less- or care about them any less. But we do tend to communicate more with whoever we're near at the time. More for convenience sake.

My Dh has 4 cousins. His entire family tree is less than 25 people- including both sides. There is no end to the disappointment I am to his family because I can't keep up with their communication levels (maybe this is just his mom & aunt- the sisters). I can see from my MIL's perspective, that she wants to know all the every little thing about our days and weeks- and understandably she wants us to care about her. I see now that she views our communication with her as the testament of our feelings toward her. She's 1200 miles from us, and wishes she were next door. Every call, every email, every text from her includes a reminder of how much she misses us- I'm not sure she means to lay the guilt on so thick, but she does.


So, regarding the OP- I think that older generations view the younger set coming to them, calling them, etc as a sign of respect, and- at least for us- that we remember them, and care about them.

I have very little patience for anyone who gets pissy because someone they wanted to talk to didn't call them. Pick up the damn phone already if you want to talk to the grandkids. Don't turn the whole communication thing into a proving ground of the kids' affection and respect for you.

OP, in your case, I think I'd tell DH his mother expects a call on the holidays and leave the ball in his court. If she calls to complain, hand the phone to him.

(I would bet she only complains because she knows you'll put up with it. I bet she doesn't say a word to him.)

I'm sure it depends on the family and their cultural tradition. My parents didn't have the kind of expectation that said we had to call them first on holidays, but my ex husband's family did, and my ex husband now gets upset if the kids (who are grown and away from me) don't call him on holidays. I actually remind them on his birthday just to avoid an issue, which isn't my job but whatever. No big deal.

I don't wait for a call on a holiday. If I want to talk, I call.



The only exception is my birthday; I like people to remember that day. I remind everyone so they'll call me, LOL. I have even been known to call the morning of my birthday to remind people to call me that day. Obviously, they do!

We call our parents on the holidays when we aren't together and usually put the kids on the phone. No one has ever made an issue of it, but I know it matters to them that we do it.

I think that DH needs to be involved in this too, because it's his mom, but I think that now you know it matters to her, it would be nice to call. I also think that we are setting the examples for our children for someday when they are the adults.

I can think of a couple of instances in my own life: MIL worries when I travel out of state with the kids to visit my sister. I call her when I get in. She also prefers to receive birthday/anniversary cards in the mail, on time, rather than in person (ie if we were meeting later in the week for her birthday). For myself, I couldn't care less, but it matters to her so I make sure I do it.