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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 17:49:47 GMT
My first WWTPD thread! (insert the rookie smiley here if someone can find one for me)
This is much longer than it should be - sorry!
So my DS's best friend moved last year to another state. They both keep in contact regularly. They do things online and play games on PS3. They also play with other friends online and on PS3. My DS has strict rules about how much he can play, when he can play - school first, etc. The other boy - allegedly has similar rules, but they are not enforced. He tries (over the phone) to encourage my DS to change my or my DH's minds about his rules. Ummmm..no, that was attempted once and my DS knows not to try that anymore.
So - fast forward this year and my DS and the friend want to visit each other during the summer. The parents all agreed that they would spend one week at each others houses. My DS is going this weekend and then they both will be flying back next week.
My DS has requested to bring his PS3 with him. The other boy has multiple gaming systems (many more than my DS has) but tends to be selfish when others are over and doesn't want to play multi-player games so the guests have to wait until he is done and he has no patience when others are playing and he
In my DS's mind, he felt if he brought his own system, they could both play and not have any issues. He completely understands that this boy is being selfish and not considering others when at his house - but he is what he is.
DH and I were asked if he could bring it and we said no. I tried to reason with him and tell him that I know the other boys parents are going to be doing all kinds of activities and they won't have as much time as they think they will have to play....but he knows they will stay up late to play.
Ugh - I hate having to be "mean Mom" when other other parents won't parent their kids - but I also know my DS wouldn't be asking unless it was an issue. Would you allow your child under these circumstances to bring an expensive video game machine on a trip out of state?
I realize that this is a frivolous question because there are many children out there that do not even have such things....DS actually worked and saved up money to buy his.
UPDATE! 7-18-2014
So my DS is coming back home today. All he worried about came true. Oh well...life lesson. The friend is coming back for a week with him to our house. He will be reminded what good manners when guests are in the house is all about.
Now...my DS tells me that the friend has convinced his mom to let him bring a tablet that the family owns. He understands that she too won't let him take his PS3 with him - but he insists he needs a tablet because he wants to be able to watch movies when we all go to bed. DS says don't be surprised if he stays up all night watching them.
Oh brother - whatever - and yes, the mother agreed to that.
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Post by sisterbdsq on Jul 11, 2014 17:52:31 GMT
No. and furthermore, when friend comes here, you won't be playing any games at all.
Good thing I'm not a mom, huh?
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Post by susans sister on Jul 11, 2014 17:53:02 GMT
I am confused. Why would you not want to let him take it?
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 17:55:54 GMT
I am confused. Why would you not want to let him take it? It's a $300.00 (not the most recent version of Playstation) machine - he is checking the bag - won't have a carryon. Additionally, I know the parents are taking them to do a ton of activities outside the house (like we will) and I don't want to encourage his friends bad behavior but having to have my DS take his machine with him when this kid has every system out there at his house.
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 17:57:01 GMT
No. and furthermore, when friend comes here, you won't be playing any games at all.
Good thing I'm not a mom, huh? My thoughts exactly. As my DH said, we can find a neighbors field for them to plow if there are any issues.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 28, 2024 16:22:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2014 17:58:17 GMT
I would, but I would tell him he is taking at his own risk. Let him know it could get broken, stolen, etc. If that happens, he would have to replace it himself. Let him decide if the risk is worth it.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Jul 11, 2014 17:58:20 GMT
Yes I would let him take it since he paid for it. I would also make it clear that if something happens to it, he will be replacing it with his own $.
A main reason I would say yes is it sounds like that's how the boys are used to interacting with each other. I also agree that they will be staying up late and it can give them something to do together.
I have a 14 year old boy and 17 year old girl so that may color my opinion too. DS doesn't play a lot of video games but I would let him take his Playstation with him under similar circumstances. He's at a friend's for a week but was invited camping so he didn't take the gaming system but he did take his Ipad mini (that he paid for).
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Post by cmpeter on Jul 11, 2014 18:01:09 GMT
How old is your son?
I wouldn't allow my 14 year old dd to bring something like that, but my older son, yes (although he's 18 now, so I wouldn't really give him any input other than making sure he had an appropriate bag for it.) I would have let him make that call on his own probably starting at age 16.
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Post by worrywart on Jul 11, 2014 18:01:12 GMT
My son does take his Xbox to his friends house occasionally, but it is here in town! Since it would not be a carry on...now my real reaction is the same as yours, no way, too much risk..
However, if it is his system and he paid for it with his own money, I might reconsider. Also, how old is your ds...if he is 15+ I would feel that he is old enogh to decide on his own...It does sound like the other child would be hard to share with. But if something happens they would be at your house with no game system at all!
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 18:01:40 GMT
Luvcookies I love your Avatar but my DS probably doesn't feel that way right now!
Luvnlifelady you have a good point. Yes, they are both 15 1/2 and are very used to interacting with each other.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 16:22:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2014 18:02:14 GMT
No. The other kids has gaming systems at his house. If all they want to do is play games, then they can do that online without traveling.
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 18:02:41 GMT
Thank you both - my ds is a mature 15 1/2 - the other is a very immature 15 1/2
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Post by sisterbdsq on Jul 11, 2014 18:03:10 GMT
No. and furthermore, when friend comes here, you won't be playing any games at all.
Good thing I'm not a mom, huh? My thoughts exactly. As my DH said, we can find a neighbors field for them to plow if there are any issues. I like the way your DH thinks! Haha
I figure it this way, if you want to spend time with your BFF, then we will go do fun things for the week. I will drive you to Six Flags, to get ice cream, baseball games, have an extra bike for him, etc, etc and so forth. You can play online with each other the rest of the year. You'll thank me later.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Jul 11, 2014 18:04:05 GMT
I would let dd take it because she's a gamer and that would be how they would want to spend their time together. She also values her games and system and knows that if something happened to it she would be responsible for replacing or fixing it.
I'm also a little more lenient during vacation time and we let the girls (dd and her bff) have a few more freedoms than normal.
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LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
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Post by LeaP on Jul 11, 2014 18:08:24 GMT
You are not being a "mean Mom". He is traveling a long distance to see his friend and his friend should share his stuff. I would say no too. The last thing you want is a damaged Playstation, lost or forgotten games/controllers/power cord.
ETA: I have two kids (13 & 10) who are traveling cross country to see their cousins. They are taking their phones and that is it. I'm saying no to the iPad.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jul 11, 2014 18:14:16 GMT
I would not allow him to take it for several reasons. The risk of it disappearing from his baggage. The other Parents have other activities scheduled. The other kid has multiple gaming systems, that can be used.
I personally would have spaced out the visits. Two weeks, back to back ...may be a little too much of each other.
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Post by kmk1112 on Jul 11, 2014 18:19:19 GMT
No one should check a valuable machine like a PS3 in luggage, so if he can't take as a carry on, my answer would be no for that reason alone. Risk of damage and theft is way too high.
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Post by Zee on Jul 11, 2014 18:23:20 GMT
If he's a very mature 15 1/2 year old who bought it himself, I can't even see why this is an issue. He's not a little boy anymore. By all means let him bring it. He can put it in a duffle bag and carry it on and then he won't have to worry about breakage. If it's lost, the only one who's out anything is him, if he bought it.
My DS and his best friend used to take their game systems and games over to each others' houses all the time on weekends. They stayed up late playing games and eating snacks. At least they weren't out roaming the neighborhood getting into trouble. Of course, they were younger then.
A boy that age, I wouldn't try to micro-manage his vacation like that.
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Post by kkooch on Jul 11, 2014 18:29:01 GMT
I would assume some of the games are multi-player ones and seeing they both play on the same type of game system, why not just bring his controller rather than the entire system. This way they can play in the same arena (or whatever its called) at the same time and then no one is left out.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 16:22:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2014 18:31:25 GMT
I would, but I would tell him he is taking at his own risk. Let him know it could get broken, stolen, etc. If that happens, he would have to replace it himself. Let him decide if the risk is worth it. Exactly this. If it is lost, stolen or damaged it is an expensive lesson...but its his to learn.
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 16:22:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2014 18:31:49 GMT
I would let him know, very clearly, that if he decides to take it, he is taking on that risk. If it gets lost or damaged, any replacement will be on him.
But beyond that, they are teen boys who like gaming. They will want to play games together during their visit. They will be doing other things as well. But honesty, when I was that age and went to visit friends who lived out of the area, we weren't really that interested in doing a bunch of sightseeing kinds of things. We just wanted to hang out and BE together. We weren't gamers, so that wasn't part of it, but one of my friends and I both liked to play cards and we would play gin rummy for literally hours while we talked about all the petty little things that teen girls like to talk to each other about.
I'm glad we were allowed to do that, even though our parents probably thought it was a giant waste of a trip.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,404
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Jul 11, 2014 18:43:04 GMT
I would, but I would tell him he is taking at his own risk. Let him know it could get broken, stolen, etc. If that happens, he would have to replace it himself. Let him decide if the risk is worth it. Exactly this. If it is lost, stolen or damaged it is an expensive lesson...but its his to learn. This is my thinking as well. I don't really see this as a parenting issue with the way the other parents do their parenting. We've traveled with our Wii and Xbox a few times. They even make special padded travel cases that you can then pack into your suitcase.
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 18:43:43 GMT
No one should check a valuable machine like a PS3 in luggage, so if he can't take as a carry on, my answer would be no for that reason alone. Risk of damage and theft is way too high. Yea- that was my thought too.
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 18:45:31 GMT
I would assume some of the games are multi-player ones and seeing they both play on the same type of game system, why not just bring his controller rather than the entire system. This way they can play in the same arena (or whatever its called) at the same time and then no one is left out. Yes, but the friend doesn't like to play multi-player (that was my suggestion too) so the controller thing is not an issue. His friend only wants to play single player. Such a stupid situation now that I have to write it down to explain! I just wish his friend wasn't being such a little punk about it.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 11, 2014 19:20:30 GMT
I'd let him take it and if it gets lost etc...oh well. Find a carry on and let him...He bought and paid for it so to me it's a no brainer.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,404
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Jul 11, 2014 19:34:37 GMT
Why can't he carry it on?
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Post by anxiousmom on Jul 11, 2014 19:51:47 GMT
I have a question?
What does having a second gaming system do to help? Is there a second tv to hook it up to so that they can play at the same time?
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Post by cmpeter on Jul 11, 2014 20:00:01 GMT
At that age, I would let him take it. Especially if you think the other boy is going to be a brat about sharing. How sucky would that be for your son? Why can't he take a carry on and bring it in his backpack?
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Post by kimpossible on Jul 11, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
I have a question? What does having a second gaming system do to help? Is there a second tv to hook it up to so that they can play at the same time? They have extra TV;s so he could hook up his system to one of the other TV's. (or so I've been told)
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Post by Darcy Collins on Jul 11, 2014 20:10:41 GMT
I think you're micromanaging as you don't like the friend. His system his problem.
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