|
Post by MorellisCupcake on May 9, 2015 3:46:44 GMT
I wonder if it's real, seeing dead loved ones when you're fading from life. My father died of colon cancer in 1999, and at the very end he would look up and smile and kind of crane his neck, and say 'mah'. He was heavily medicated and couldn't talk at the time, and that's what he called his mother, who died five years before he did. He passed a day or two later. My mom died in 2002 from ALS, and at the end she saw my dad and grandpa (her father) standing by her bed. She couldn't talk either (horrible horrible disease) but could type a little, and that's what she repeated. Now, today, my grandma (93 in July) is doing the same thing, only she's a lot more verbal. She fell recently and broke her wrist and has been in this hospital. She's not coherent, isn't recognizing people much anymore, and is on a pureed diet. It's a long painful story and I don't want to get all into it, but my sister told me this today.. She went to visit Gram, who told her that a lady got into bed with her last night and wouldn't get out. And today, after my sister helped her eat, she said, "You can tell Sherren she can go now, I'll see her tomorrow". Sherren is my mom (her daughter). Later my sister said, "Do you know who I am?" and Grandma replied, "Of course, I'm not dumb! You're Sherren Ann --------- You sit in that chair over there all day long". And all new, she's talking to people who aren't there. This woman, up until this most recent health scare, has been sharp as a tack. I don't know who's sleeping with her and sitting in the chair, but she's very clear that someone is with her all the time. I find the idea hugely comforting and now that I've seen it more than once it really makes me wonder. I suppose it could be brain glitches or memory pops or something, but the fact it's always the people they loved that they see, is what is the mystery to me. UPDATE: My grandma passed away on Tuesday, May 12, very peacefully with family by her side. She saw my mom right up to the end, which I thought was very comforting. It's bittersweet, since she was my Grandma but was ready to go. Whatever heaven you believe in, she's back with my Grandpa, which is where she's wanted to be since he passed over 30 years ago.
|
|
Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,640
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
|
Post by Anita on May 9, 2015 3:56:54 GMT
Two of my grandparents experienced this. My grandfather kept talking to childhood friends no one else could see. He also saw horses wandering through the living room. I chalked it up to the morphine. My grandmother (other side of the family) kept having recurring visions that her dead husband was sitting on the foot of her bed telling her he was waiting to collect her and take her with him. This was when she was fully lucid long before pain medication, and it terrified her because her husband was pure evil. As she got closer to death, she started seeing other people. No one else talked to her. They just came to sit.
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on May 9, 2015 4:00:45 GMT
I don't know. It's good that you find comfort in it either way
I've been with both my parents at the end of their lives and neither said anything about dead people. My dads las words to me were not to drive in ice. I thought that was a nice warning I'll carry with me forever, every time I don't drive in ice I think of how much my dad loved me.
I think we as humans look for ways to comfort ourselves about death. We seek it. I haven't had your experience but I have had an experience that makes me believe that part of me ( my soul ) will rejoin the universe when I die. Souls sre energy and you can not destroy energy, just change its form. So due to my experince I do believe my energy, my soul will join the energy of the universe at some point. I do find peace in that.
All I can say is while we are here, we should always be actively seeking that which gives us peace. Hopefully we end up on the right path, if not, then we've obtained a great deal of peace,
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 19, 2024 19:50:52 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 9, 2015 4:05:56 GMT
I wonder about this sometimes, although I don't have a lot of personal experience with it. I agree with so much of hop2's reply. I think if it brings them, or you, comfort, then go ahead and embrace it. I'm so sorry about your grandma. I miss mine more every day.
|
|
|
Post by MorellisCupcake on May 9, 2015 4:17:20 GMT
I love everything you said, hop2. I don't necessarily believe in the traditional view of heaven but the spiritual aspect of our lives is fascinating.
And with much less eloquence..really, who the heck knows? That's the best part, the mystery of it all. And if it brings peace, perfect.
|
|
|
Post by theroadlesstraveledp on May 9, 2015 4:30:51 GMT
I have also experienced this with my grandparents. Perhaps when it is time someone that we know and love is sent to usher us into the other side? I don't know. Before my grandfather died he was reaching out for someone and smiling, this was a difficult feat because he had a stroke a few days before. My grandmother who also had a stroke was also doing this as well and trying to say the person's name. Could they have been dreaming? Yeah it is possible, but I don't know if it is coincidental that they both passed shortly after.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on May 9, 2015 4:37:47 GMT
I wasn't with my mom when she passed away because she lived in a nursing home and she died very early in the morning. Later on when I talked to the staff person who found her unresponsive, she said that when she checked on her, she was just laying in her bed and it looked like she was sleeping peacefully and smiling. Even at her wake she looked peaceful and happy, like she was sleeping and having a nice dream, so it would be nice to think that she was greeted by those who had been patiently waiting for her for a long time and that she had dearly missed.
|
|
theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,399
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
|
Post by theshyone on May 9, 2015 4:41:56 GMT
I don't remember my death experiences due to brain injury from lack of oxygen that affected memory. However the sudden cardiac arrest survivors that I have spoken to around the world that do remember tell stories so believably, so realistically that I do believe.
|
|
|
Post by 4cliffdwellers on May 9, 2015 4:44:44 GMT
If she's always been sharp and just now getting confused, have they checked her for a UTI? My Grandma was pretty with it, and we learned that when she became confused, it was usually a urinary tract infection.
As to your question, I do think that we see those who have passed before we go. At least, I hope not to make the journey by myself. It seems there are so many stories of it happening, it almost seems like it has to be. But, maybe that's the romantic in me.
|
|
|
Post by papersilly on May 9, 2015 5:03:10 GMT
I wasn't with my mom when she passed away because she lived in a nursing home and she died very early in the morning. Later on when I talked to the staff person who found her unresponsive, she said that when she checked on her, she was just laying in her bed and it looked like she was sleeping peacefully and smiling. Even at her wake she looked peaceful and happy, like she was sleeping and having a nice dream, so it would be nice to think that she was greeted by those who had been patiently waiting for her for a long time and that she had dearly missed. Sorry for your loss. I would like to believe this about my mom too. She seemed at peace in the end. I would like to believe her mom, dad, and brothers welcomed her home. She was young again, free from pain and disease.
|
|
|
Post by joylynaroundthebnd on May 9, 2015 5:11:49 GMT
I wasn't with my mom when she passed away because she lived in a nursing home and she died very early in the morning. Later on when I talked to the staff person who found her unresponsive, she said that when she checked on her, she was just laying in her bed and it looked like she was sleeping peacefully and smiling. Even at her wake she looked peaceful and happy, like she was sleeping and having a nice dream, so it would be nice to think that she was greeted by those who had been patiently waiting for her for a long time and that she had dearly missed. My dad passed in his sleep in March. He was not sick, fine one day and gone the next. When my mom woke up and discovered he was gone, she said he looks like he just went to sleep. He looked like that when I got to the house 45 min later. Part of me believes people are there waiting for you. For my dad, I hope his family was there and it was a happy reunion. His dad passed in 1972, his mom in 1992 and his younger brother passed in 2011.
|
|
|
Post by mirabelleswalker on May 9, 2015 6:28:24 GMT
I wish I could detail all of the stories like this that I've experienced with my family or heard about from my patients' families. I've worked with a number of children who have acknowledged the presence of a deceased relative (in some cases more than one). I'm a believer.
The strangest case I know of from work were two children who met when they were under the age of 2. One patient died at about 3. The second patient relapsed at 7 and subsequently died. During his hospitalization at the end of his life he spoke incessantly to the patient who had already died. He claimed this child was right there in his hospital room. There is no way the older child could have remembered the younger one. The family had never been told that the younger child had died. It had been at least four years since the younger child had died. What other explanation is there?
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on May 9, 2015 6:40:42 GMT
My grandmother told me her mother had moved in upstairs. This was actually a number of months before she died, so I don't know if it counts. Of course, she also asked me to have my grandfather call her because she hadn't seen him in such a long time. She was really eager to talk to him. I felt so awful because he had died 12 years earlier. So sad for her.
|
|
scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
|
Post by scrapaddie on May 9, 2015 11:24:44 GMT
My mother was heavily drugged when she died. But she didn't seen anything. My father was very coherent when he died and he did not report anything either. I guess I will have to wait and see.
|
|
RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,724
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
|
Post by RedSquirrelUK on May 9, 2015 12:09:46 GMT
In her last days, DH's grandmother was in hospital on morphine for cancer pain. She seemed pretty lucid, but one day when we visited, she stared up at the empty wall at the bottom of her bed and said "look after them all for me" and then turned back to us and carried on talking. We didn't ask her who she had seen. I wish someone had. She died within a couple of days.
Morphine gives hallucinations though. Years ago one of Dad's friends who was like another grandfather to me was also in hospital on morphine. When my Mum visited him with a friend, he was full of a story that he had "heard" about Jessica, one of my friends, dying in a terrible motorcycle accident the previous week. Mum had not heard that and was shocked and upset. When they left, her friend told her that she had spoken to Jessica that morning and she was alive and well. 20-odd years ago she still is. The nurses confirmed that he had woken up that morning full of this story, and thought the morphine had given him a vivid dream.
I would love to think that we are guided into the next world by our late loved ones.
|
|
|
Post by redayh on May 9, 2015 12:55:28 GMT
When my great grandmother was dying, she saw lots of people and was waving and blowing kisses at at Lily, her daughter in law, who passed a few years earlier of an brain aneurysm.
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on May 9, 2015 13:07:29 GMT
I believe in heaven and as a believer in Christianity I know I will see my loved ones again. I believe we see loved ones when we are dying who are waiting. It's a comforting thought for me as I watched my DD pass.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on May 9, 2015 13:07:58 GMT
Funny you should ask this. I just went to a wake for a friend's mom. She told me that her mom knew the day she was going to die. She was in a nursing home and when the aide came to dress her in the morning she said, "I"m going to die today." The aide, of course, told her that was silly, there's nothing wrong with her, etc. Her mom said, "That man sitting in the chair has been telling me all day yesterday that I'm going to die today."
The aide went to get a few other people dressed, came back, and found her dead in her chair. So who knows. I know my mom died with a smile on her face, early in the morning in her nursing home. I'd like to think she was met by her beloved mother and siblings, and I'd like to think my loved ones will come for me when my time comes.
|
|
|
Post by txdancermom on May 9, 2015 14:05:46 GMT
I have never seen it personally, but I have never been with someone who was dying. My dad says that the caretaker who was helping with my stepmom before she passed said she knew that the Monday before she died would be here last as stepmom kept sitting up and looking off to the other side of the room and saying "momma". dad woke up early the next morning and she had passed during the night.
The caretaker told my dad about the day later, and she had probably seen it before, so I do believe it happens.
|
|
|
Post by chichi on May 9, 2015 16:10:18 GMT
Yes. I do believe that people close to death see loved ones.
I've experienced patients close to death telling me they see their mom or dad, aunts etc that have gone before. About a week before my brother died, he said that he was woken up around 3 am by all the dogs that we had growing up as a children playing on his bed, kissing him and snuggling with him.
Before my mom passed, she told us that her dad had visited her.
I think it is an extremely comforting occurrence when those close to dying experience these visitations. It's also helped me to prepare myself for my loved ones departure from this earth
|
|
|
Post by BuckeyeSandy on May 9, 2015 17:31:04 GMT
Okay, this is weird (as in strange); I both believe and witnessed this type of thing happening. Does not conflict with my beliefs nor my faith either.
|
|
|
Post by Karmady on May 9, 2015 18:20:08 GMT
It happened with my mother. She was in hospice care and the brain radiation made her a bit like an Alzeheimer's patient. She was talking about seeing her boy soon. I thought she meant my brother. She was talking about a baby she lost before I was born and used his name, Bradley. She had never once mentioned him in my entire life. I had no idea. I asked my aunt who Bradley was and she told me about him. Strange how after 50 years, she told me that she was going to see him soon.
|
|
|
Post by lbp on May 9, 2015 18:46:47 GMT
There are some people who are going to insist that it is the drugs or the mind playing tricks, or whatever. But, when my mom died, and she had been in an almost comatose state for a couple of weeks, she looked around and said "Well there's my mama and Henry Clay ( her cousin) too!" she smiled and was so happy. I like to believe that our loved ones do come to help us cross over. If that helps me, that's what matters.
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on May 9, 2015 19:23:11 GMT
My mother was with her dad when he passed and he looked at my mom and said "do you hear that beautiful music?" Then he died. There was no music playing.
|
|
|
Post by lucyg on May 9, 2015 19:53:17 GMT
You're all giving me the shivers.
No matter if it's "real" or imaginary or drug- or dementia-induced ... these are lovely, heart-warming stories, and they sure make me feel better about the moment of passing on.
|
|
|
Post by disneypal on May 9, 2015 20:06:09 GMT
I have a friend whose dad is 93. The other day he was looking up and smiling and she asked him what was he so happy about and he said "The angels are back again" - he says he sees angels in his room from time to time - just because we can't see them, I guess it doesn't mean they are not there. Not sure if he really sees them or not but he is very believable.
|
|
GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,280
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
|
Post by GiantsFan on May 9, 2015 23:27:31 GMT
I think that we (the general, still alive and breathing we) will never know. But for those who are near to and ready for death, those who see or hear loved ones (whether real or imaginary), and get comfort from it - then that is a great thing. I'm Christian and believe that there is a better place waiting. And if someone is there waving me in, all the better.
|
|
|
Post by scrapsotime on May 10, 2015 0:04:56 GMT
Not quite the same, but I know a little girl that was very sick and in the hospital for a month. During her time in the hospital her heart stopped. One day after she was better and home she was naming her mother's Willow Tree figures. She gets to one that her mother sees as a mother holding a child and said 'This is my Jesus.' Her mother wasn't sure if that was what she actually said and asked her what the figure was again. She said 'This is my Jesus holding me when I was sick. He told me I had to come back so you wouldn't be sad mommy.'
|
|
|
Post by Jennifer C on May 10, 2015 1:43:09 GMT
My Grandmother passed in the early 80's when she was 71 yrs old. She had had 3 stokes in 2 months. She was very mentally alert, but confined to bed or a wheelchair.
She started talking about seeing her Mom one morning. My Grandmother told my Mom and Aunt that her Mom had brushed her hair and was holding her hand.
She was happy and at peace. She passed that afternoon. My Aunt said my Grandmother was probably delusional. The family settled on not caring if she was delusional or not at the end because she was happy and at peace.
Jennifer
|
|
|
Post by ~KellyAnn~ on May 10, 2015 2:01:12 GMT
My dear mother-in-law passed away Sunday morning. She told her daughters the day before, that her sister was on tv. Her sister had died years ago and the television wasn't on. I'd like to think she was there to comfort her.
|
|