rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on May 14, 2015 15:16:54 GMT
ugh! last year I coached my dd's soccer team and the head coach just asked girls two top choices for numbers for jerseys. he was able to work it out that everyone got their 1st or 2nd pick.
so fast forward to this year, I am coaching dd again and dh is coaching ds. I am helping out with my son's team emails. so jerseys are to be handed out before first game next week and I asked parents to respond with their child's top two picks for numbers. dd's team working out fine... but they are not 9 year old boys!
every boy (except one) that has responded so far (3/4 of the team) have ALL selected #10 or #11. geez!! I have emailed parents back to advise them of that fact and I would be in touch.
ds in REALLY upset. he really wants 10 and thinks cuz his dad is the coach he should get it. hd said we are volunteers and don't get paid, we have to put up the jerseys, do all the work, he should get the jersey. I suggested we put everyone in a hat and draw for 10 and 11 and the kids can scramble for what is left. you can imagine who's side ds is on....
anyone have any great ideas on how to address this?? any suggestions welcome!
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Post by underwatermama on May 14, 2015 15:19:38 GMT
If it's going to cause a problem, then I wouldn't let anyone get the 10 or 11 on their jersey.
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Post by padresfan619 on May 14, 2015 15:20:29 GMT
I would put the numbers in a hat, let the boys draw from there.
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anniebeth24
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Posts: 3,538
Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on May 14, 2015 15:23:02 GMT
I would suggest a random drawing, done at a practice or team gathering so that everyone knows how it all worked out. First kid's name drawn gets first choice of jersey number. Next name gets next choice. I wouldn't give preferential treatment to your son.
Boys are very into their numbers!
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Post by shescrafty on May 14, 2015 15:24:59 GMT
My DH is a coach as well. We had uniform pick up at our house for a few hours one night. He did not ask kids what number they wanted. My son got first pick. After that it was a first come first served and also by size. He is in middle school so the sizes ranged from a kids L to adult L-that ended up being more of a deciding factor.
I might let the parents know there were too many kids asking for the same number and then just go to first to respond to emails and each person give 3 options aside from 10 and 11. Your kid gets first pick because you are doing the grunt work.
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Post by alittleintrepid on May 14, 2015 15:26:18 GMT
I would absolutely NOT give him the jersey he wants just because he is your son or the rest of the team will anticipate favouritism for the entire season. You'll have bigger problems than a grumpy son. I'd put names in a hat and make sure the team was aware that this was going to be the process.
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Post by Basket1lady on May 14, 2015 15:26:44 GMT
On paper, your son's argument is good. There are very few perks for being the coach's son. But it's going to cause resentment and parents are going to talk. That's not how you want your season to start. I'd pull names from a hat and make it fair for everyone.
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,119
Jun 25, 2014 22:52:46 GMT
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Post by iowgirl on May 14, 2015 15:30:12 GMT
I have been involved in a lot of sports, and I have never had it where the kids could pick a jersey number. My DD was able to pick her Varsity VB number, but it had to be one that was not already in use by an upperclassman.
NEVER picked them in youth sports. I would just assign them random numbers and skip 10 & 11. No matter what you do at this point - someone is going to be pissed.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 23, 2024 22:14:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2015 15:39:45 GMT
I agree with the drawing numbers out of a hat. No matter what you do, someone is going to be pissed about not getting the number they want. If you do it with all kids present, you can avoid the appearance of favorites.
DH and I will never coach youth sports again. He said he has no idea how in the world his Dad did it when he played youth hockey. DH always wanted the number 8, even to this day.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on May 14, 2015 16:13:15 GMT
I would absolutely NOT give him the jersey he wants just because he is your son or the rest of the team will anticipate favouritism for the entire season. You'll have bigger problems than a grumpy son. I'd put names in a hat and make sure the team was aware that this was going to be the process. I couldn't agree more! There was just a thread not long ago about coaches kids getting special treatment. I think if you want a drama free (or at least less drama) season you need to draw from a hat.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,534
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
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Post by MerryMom on May 14, 2015 16:27:40 GMT
What is it with #10 and #11 or #15? Trust me, this is NOT a new issue: has been going on for years and years and years.
I agree that your son shouldn't get first dibs just because he is the coaches son. Absolutely not. Your husband being a volunteer has no impact on your son's jersey number choice. Your son is a player, not a volunteer.
Veteran coaches wife here and veteran sports mom.
If it is a team where the youths are on it for two years or more, this is what we did (football, baseball, soccer, basketball).
If the child was on the exact same team last year, he got first choice for the same number. Although the shirt was usually replaced each year, if there was a different sponsor, the jersey number was on the baseball cap. So if we got lucky and had the same sponsor, we didn't have to purchase a new jersey or a new ball cap as long as it was in good condition. But it was handled the same for other sports as well.
Second layer: If more than one child wanted the same number, the names were put in a hat (IN FRONT OF THE KIDS AND PARENTS), and the coach drew a name. Drawing the names in front of the kids and parent is absolutely crucial so as to avoid any commentary about "favoritism" or that numbers were being swapped out.
For football, things can be a little different because some league rules have requirements that for certain positions, the jersey numbers had to be within a certain number range.
Once my son hit middle school and high school, it kind of works the same way, if you had the jersey number the year before, you could get it again. If not, then the kids listed what they wanted, and then upperclassmen got first dibs, if the kids who wanted the same number were in the same grade, then they drew names for it.
With middle school or high school sports as they are school uniforms, sometimes, they didn't have the correct size in the number the youth wanted, so oh well.
Or do what my husband did with track: they lined up by uniform size and then he handed them a singlet and pair of shorts. "you get what you get". The kids could switch off singlets if they had a number preference, but they had 1 minute to do so, and then the uniform numbers were written down and that's all folks. Cross country and track and field athletes aren't all keyed up about uniform numbers. But what does get track kids going about uniforms is who gets compression shorts and who doesn't: sprinters get the compression shorts and the others do not. Or if the team has speed suits. Endless fussing about that for some reason.
And of course the endless arguments with the high school and middle school girls that they are not going to squeeze their size large butt into a size small running shortie shorts or their size medium butt into a pair of extra-small compression shorts. The male coaches are too chicken to say that to the girls, so they send me over or another female volunteer coach, I go over and say, "You aren't going to wear that size, it's in violation of the uniform code. "
Oh and the endless reminders for both girls and guys to WEAR UNDERWEAR WITH THE SHORTS OR SPEED SUIT. The little liner in running shorts is not in lieu of underwear. No one, especially your parents, want to see the outline of your "twig and berries" or look at your camel toe.
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Post by myboysnme on May 14, 2015 16:32:46 GMT
As a coach I would not have the kids choose numbers. I would make a list of positions and assign numbers to each position. If they are first string they get a number from 1-9. If they are second string they get a number from 21-29. So say the position of pitcher is number 1, then the second string pitcher is 21.
No choosing, no number 10 or 11. Problem solved.
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Post by gorgeouskid on May 14, 2015 16:39:34 GMT
Please don't let your son have #10 just because his dad is the coach. That will cause tons of resentment (as trivial is it is, it's still a burr) amongst players and parents.
I recommend the numbers in a hat thing. Tell parents numbers will be drawn at practice, and those who are not there will be assigned numbers randomly from what's left over.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on May 14, 2015 16:42:44 GMT
I would put the numbers in a hat, let the boys draw from there.
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sweetandsour
Full Member
Posts: 227
Jun 30, 2014 17:43:52 GMT
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Post by sweetandsour on May 14, 2015 16:56:25 GMT
Soccer coach of 8 years here. We usually have 3 coaches. I list them in alphabetical order then use random.org to generate a random list and their kids choose in that order. Then I use random.org for the rest of the team and they choose accordingly. Not one person has complained in my 8 years. If they do, it's behind my back and it couldn't be that serious as it hasn't resulted in impeachment! LOL But then again, I think the coaches' kids over the past few years on our team do not like the popular numbers (7, 9, 10 especially). If there is only one coach amongst a roster of, say, 12? Then I would generate a list of numbers from #1 to 14 and assign #13 and #14 to the coaches kid, then plug it through random.org. That way, coach's kid doesn't get first pick but he gets 2 extra chances of moving up the chain, as recognition of the MANY MANY volunteer hours and sacrifices that his dad will contribute throughout the season. My DS would not wear #10 because he is not a Lionel Messi fan.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on May 14, 2015 17:01:26 GMT
thanks for all the responses!! I am at work and review your suggestions tonight. I cannot appreciate the perception of favouritism but I can guarantee there will be NO favouritism to ds when dh is coaching.
I know whatever I do, some parent will think it is wrong. After quickly reading thru, I like the idea of keeping 10/11 out completely, just because it's going to be a contentious issue. Draw for every other number. which does suck cuz if only 1 boy wants 3 and he doesn't get it, meanwhile it was available, kwim? I will read responses more closely this evening and talk to dh.
turns out his team is WAY more trouble than the team I am coaching... should have known that would be the case!! lol!
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on May 14, 2015 17:02:20 GMT
my son is OBSESSED with messi!!! it also happens to be the age of half the team....
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,663
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on May 14, 2015 17:08:34 GMT
I'd do a lottery, and squash the 'my dad is the coach, I win' attitude quick. Just my parenting style but I would make sure my kid did NOT get #10 or #11 simply because he suggested that he should because dad is the coach.
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The Birdhouse Lady
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Posts: 7,144
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Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on May 14, 2015 17:17:14 GMT
I like the idea that many have mentioned that put names in a hat and whoevers name gets drawn can be #10 and #11. Put your sons name in also and he has just as much a chance as every other player. I would do it with the team present so that all witness that there was not any funny business.
I also would NOT give your son the number simply because he is your son. You are just asking for a lot of resentment.
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Post by gritzi on May 14, 2015 17:46:59 GMT
Do you know who was the first to respond requesting numbers 10 & 11 (your son excluded)? If so, and you have the email/text proofs w/dates & times (CYA, so to speak), I would assign the numbers to those players.
If you have no way of knowing who requested first then I would add the names to a hat & choose.
Good Luck!
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Post by peasful1 on May 14, 2015 18:40:02 GMT
First request for a number is the one who got it. I had people email me requests. So the first email that hit my inbox with a specific number is the one who got it. I did not ever curry favour for my own child. It just looks bad. If other kids are expected to get over it, your son, too, can get over not getting his first choice. Entitlement squashing is a good thing.
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Post by littlemama on May 14, 2015 18:54:03 GMT
In rec league sports, we always just handed them out. In high school, varsity players choose first, then JV and freshmen get the leavings.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Apr 23, 2024 22:14:48 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2015 18:58:55 GMT
I would take the suggestion to pick numbers from a hat in front of parents so there's no question of favoritism of any kind. You could pick for order of choice or even just pick their actual number. Don't worry, someone will always be mad at you for how it turned out but they'll get over it.
I would also sit my son out. He'd get the last number and be happy about it. It's SO not about the number. It's about volunteering, teamwork, and putting others before yourself (which you're both already teaching him by coaching). My husband has coached and he's taken the high road in these situations, and had our kids do the same. While they may be ticked at the moment, they ALWAYS look back and appreciate that DH handled things that way. Big picture moments.
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Post by kristi on May 14, 2015 20:08:26 GMT
The best players in the history of soccer - Pele and Maradona & Messi are #10.
Not sure about #11.
On my sons team, you get the option of having the number you had on the team last year (he was #11 last year & is #11 this year). Lot's of people wanted #10 & it went to the player that had it before. New kids to the team get what is left over.
I don't have a problem with the Coaches son getting #10. If the other parents were worried about it, they could have signed up to coach. I do see where some kids/parents will not like the decision.
To make it fair, I would have all the kids present & draw numbers from a cup that correspond with the jersey numbers you have.
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Post by gmcwife1 on May 14, 2015 20:08:58 GMT
What is it with #10 and #11 or #15? Trust me, this is NOT a new issue: has been going on for years and years and years. I agree that your son shouldn't get first dibs just because he is the coaches son. Absolutely not. Your husband being a volunteer has no impact on your son's jersey number choice. Your son is a player, not a volunteer.
Veteran coaches wife here and veteran sports mom. If it is a team where the youths are on it for two years or more, this is what we did (football, baseball, soccer, basketball). If the child was on the exact same team last year, he got first choice for the same number. Although the shirt was usually replaced each year, if there was a different sponsor, the jersey number was on the baseball cap. So if we got lucky and had the same sponsor, we didn't have to purchase a new jersey or a new ball cap as long as it was in good condition. But it was handled the same for other sports as well. Second layer: If more than one child wanted the same number, the names were put in a hat (IN FRONT OF THE KIDS AND PARENTS), and the coach drew a name. Drawing the names in front of the kids and parent is absolutely crucial so as to avoid any commentary about "favoritism" or that numbers were being swapped out. For football, things can be a little different because some league rules have requirements that for certain positions, the jersey numbers had to be within a certain number range. Once my son hit middle school and high school, it kind of works the same way, if you had the jersey number the year before, you could get it again. If not, then the kids listed what they wanted, and then upperclassmen got first dibs, if the kids who wanted the same number were in the same grade, then they drew names for it. Thank you I thought maybe I'm missing something as both a parent and the child of a volunteer, but we never got perks because of the time our family volunteered. I wasn't volunteering as a kid so why should I be rewarded for it. There have been many times it sucked for me as the leaders kid, my dd as the leaders kid and other kids of leaders because we were the first to get there so we helped with set up. We were the last to leave so we helped with clean up, our parent had to be at just about every event so we were too. But they did not reward me/us as leaders, they rewarded us as our parent. So I thank my dd outside of the club.
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Post by icedcoffee14 on May 14, 2015 20:14:32 GMT
Random draw is fair. When I played softball many years ago it was on a first come first serve basis. I ended up #4 which is what I wanted.
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Post by myshelly on May 14, 2015 21:05:54 GMT
No requests. The end.
I'm the coach. I get to pass out the uniforms. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.
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Post by JustCallMeMommy on May 14, 2015 21:13:06 GMT
I would suggest a random drawing, done at a practice or team gathering so that everyone knows how it all worked out. First kid's name drawn gets first choice of jersey number. Next name gets next choice. I wouldn't give preferential treatment to your son. Boys are very into their numbers! I would do it this way. The stage has already been set for the kids picking numbers, so drawing names to get first pick, second pick, third pick, etc. keeps it fair and transparent in front of every one. Since you are drawing the names, your son is in the hat, too, and has just as much chance as anyone else of getting a preferred number.
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Post by brina on May 14, 2015 21:37:53 GMT
3 kids who have played sports over the years. Park district nobody ever got to choose numbers, ever. You get what you get!
Travel team (where you have your number for years through out your time with the club) parents could bid on numbers - high bid got the number, money went towards new equipment. If you didn't want to go the bidding route (we did not) kid was randomly assigned a number.
Oh, and there is no way in the world I would give coach's kid preferential treatment. Talk about alienating every parent and kid on the team.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on May 14, 2015 21:46:39 GMT
thanks again for ALL the great feedback. i was struggling with "coach's son" thing too. dh comes from hockey background where jerseys were there the first day, kids walked in and picked what they wanted. he thinks i think too much sometimes!! we talked about the pea-ggestions and we agreed on.....
i wrote an email to parents explaining the current situation, 9 of the 10 kids that picked a number, their first choice was #10. i said there were two options, draw names from a hat or allow kids that had first or second choice no one else had selected get their jerseys and rest of the numbers go in a hat. told them i would go with the consensus based on everyone i heard from by monday evening.
so far, one response for option 1.
of course, another mom emailed back and said "how about 8, is it available?". i told her since i threw it out there i have to wait to hear what the team wants.
the more i read what i wrote, i really wish i had just said "it's option one". like i said, someone is guaranteed to be unhappy but really, it's a just a soccer jersey.... let's move on and play soccer!
on the upside, dd's team will be a breeze!! so far the 9 girls that have responded all get their first pick!!
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