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Post by emelle64 on May 27, 2015 11:01:05 GMT
Update: I'm home now. It was a long day: 8:30 until 3:15 but I've had much longer ones. Two weeks ago at my last treatment it seemed to go on and on and the whole place just seemed noisier. Today it seemed much quieter and overall it went much faster. I am currently the only woman receiving abdominal chemo at this cancer centre so sometimes the nurses don't have tons of experience with abdominal ports but today I had one of the most competent/confident ones and it made the world of difference.
I read all the comments on my phone while at the cancer centre and they all made me feel so supported. So many of you have gone through something similar or have walked alongside a spouse with cancer. In my "real" life I've only met one other person who has had chemo--and she's a friend of a friend. Again thank you all so much for taking time out from your day to post encouraging comments and to pray for me. It truly helped me get through it. Now, the focus is on the w/e when the side effects will start.
Emelle
I've mentioned on a couple of other threads that I'm in the middle of chemo for ovarian cancer. Today is treatment 5A (#9 of a total of 12). Up til now I've been very positive about the chemo and most days felt like "let's do this" and I generally haven't feel too bad. But my last cycle in early May was hard. I felt lousy after the chemo--weak and tired and probably more like a typical patient undergoing chemo. I've also already started to think about what happens after I finish chemo---what if the cancer comes back, what if the chemo didn't work, and how will I live normally with the ambiguity of not knowing.
Anyway, this is not meant as a pity post. It really isn't. I would just appreciate some prayers/good thoughts today. I do need some extra strength to get through today and then the last 3 treatments and to keep myself from focusing on what comes next. I would really like to finish chemo the way I started in March--feeling strong and confident.
Emelle
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,947
Jun 26, 2014 17:47:08 GMT
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Post by peppermintpatty on May 27, 2015 11:26:18 GMT
You got them! I pray that you continue to have the courage to endure all this and I pray that you kick cancer's butt! The unknown is the worst part but remember, don't worry about what you have no control over and it you have control over it, why worry? I know it is easy to say and not easy to do but try and remain positive!
((((hugs)))))
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on May 27, 2015 11:26:38 GMT
Prayers, hugs and healing vibes being sent Emelle. I hope today is easier than you're expecting.
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Post by baslp on May 27, 2015 11:28:20 GMT
Sending positive thoughts your way! Hang in there!
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BarbaraUK
Drama Llama
Surrounded by my yarn stash on the NE coast of England...............!! Refupea 1702
Posts: 5,961
Location: England UK
Jun 27, 2014 12:47:11 GMT
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Post by BarbaraUK on May 27, 2015 11:29:37 GMT
This is such a stressful and difficult thing you are going through emelle64, and your post certainly isn't coming across as a pity post. It's great that so far you have felt very positive about things but along the way there have to be times when you feel weak and tired and start to ponder the 'what ifs', especially after a hard treatment cycle! I hope it isn't very long before you are feeling more upbeat again for your last three treatments. Sending prayers and lots of positive thoughts across 'the pond' to you - and lots of encouragement so you finish this treatment feeling strong and confident the way you started. Will be thinking of you today. Take care.
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Post by bearmom on May 27, 2015 11:31:29 GMT
Prayers and positive thoughts!
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Post by jackie on May 27, 2015 11:44:07 GMT
Sending all kinds of positive thoughts your way!
I went through chemo a year and a half ago (my avatar is from back then) for ovarian cancer. I remained positive during my diagnosis and chemo but I had a 2 or 3 times where it really hit me hard. It always happened in the middle of the night when sleep was escaping me. I would have a little meltdown where I sobbed and sobbed--I was terrified of what might happen and of leaving my children behind. I felt I had so much living to do. I finally got smart and woke my dh. He was so soothing and calm. He reassured me that it would all be okay. That no matter what happened, we would fight it and just meet whatever challenges we faced. It ALWAYS helped. So, I am sending those same soothing and calming thoughts your way.
I had a very rough time with chemo, experiencing terrible bone pain. It's wonderful to hear that so far your experience hasn't been too bad. Just remember, you only have a few left. Concentrate on getting through those. We ALL worry about the future, never knowing what could happen to us next. I know when you're diagnosed with cancer, it really brings it all home, but truly it can hit anyone. You'll get through this. Lean on the people who love you. Tell them how you're feeling and let them be strong for you--you don't always have to be the strong one.
My family and I will be keeping you in our prayers.
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,408
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Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on May 27, 2015 11:54:26 GMT
Hugs! I don't have an advice, but I'm thinking smd praying for you.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,233
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on May 27, 2015 11:57:49 GMT
((HUGS)). You are a strong beautiful woman. You can do this.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 13:34:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 12:06:55 GMT
Prayer and a hug
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Post by blarneygirl on May 27, 2015 12:16:16 GMT
Sending you strength! I just passed my 6 years post chemo date. Treatments are all still vivid to me. Some months I felt positive and full of fight, but the treatments were hard and the fight for strength was difficult towards the end. I thought going home after my last treatment I would feel victory and like partying, but I cried most of the way home. Suddenly I felt vulnerable. I couldn't wait to stop those monthly 4 day hospital in patient treatments and there I was crying! I understand that's normal, but I thought my reaction was totally crazy!
You can do this! Soon it will be time to find a new post chemo normal!
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Post by gailoh on May 27, 2015 12:24:42 GMT
Don't concentrate on the "what if" ...you got it found and now getting the help you need...
I know this has to be very hard but try and think more on what you are going to do after you get this taken care of and watch some funny movies...
You have my prayer and some hugs...
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Post by pb on May 27, 2015 12:43:10 GMT
Sending warm and positive thoughts your way.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on May 27, 2015 12:44:39 GMT
Hugs
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Post by tallgirl on May 27, 2015 12:47:12 GMT
Thinking of you today, and wishing you peace and strength.
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Post by hop2 on May 27, 2015 12:54:38 GMT
Hugs, prayers and positive thoughts.
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Post by mikklynn on May 27, 2015 13:03:57 GMT
Dear Emelle, I am so sorry you have to go through this. You are absolutely in my prayers. I hope and pray your final chemo treatments go smoothly.
The one thing I have learned through DH's 8 year cancer journey is one day at a time. It sounds so trite, I know. But, this is the only way we have made it this far. Initially I drove myself crazy with what-ifs. I worried about who would plow the snow from our driveway and it was May! That is when I realized I had to stop and worry only about today. And to remember to enjoy today, especially if it's a good day.
Please keep us posted here. We really do care.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,960
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on May 27, 2015 13:10:52 GMT
Hugs to you, Emelle. I can't know what you are going thru, so I can just offer cyber hugs, well wishes and prayers.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,956
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on May 27, 2015 13:23:39 GMT
I understand completely. I went through chemo in 2009 for breast cancer. Not that it makes them any easier, but your feelings are perfectly normal. My sister took me to every chemo and by the end, she was almost dragging me to the car. It's hard to go when you know how you will feel afterwards. Chemo is cumulative so the effects just keep getting worse. But you will get through it. And yes, like someone else said, after treatment when you think you will be so relieved that it's over...instead you feel so scared and vulnerable then because they aren't watching you like they were. It's just hard. All of it. And I am so sorry that you have to go through it. My mantra that pushed me out the door to chemo was, "You don't have to be brave. You just have to show up.". Sending lots of prayers and good thoughts to you today and through the rest of your treatment. Remember that even if you are crawling across the finish line at the end of treatment, you can still do that with strength and confidence. Nothing shows strength more than making it through!!
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Post by leannec on May 27, 2015 13:28:39 GMT
Positive thoughts coming your way
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
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Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
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Post by mimima on May 27, 2015 13:33:55 GMT
Prayers and hugs
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,831
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Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on May 27, 2015 13:36:07 GMT
I despise cancer.
I am so sorry that you are going through this, but I know you can do it. Best of luck today!
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Post by jenis40 on May 27, 2015 13:37:17 GMT
Positive thoughts headed your way! For me I try to look at each day as a gift which is easier some days than others. The chemo does get tougher as you go along but make sure your doctor and nurses know how you feel. There is so much they can do to alleviate some of the side effects.
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Post by Scrappyhappy on May 27, 2015 13:38:06 GMT
Hugs and prayers!
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Post by elaine on May 27, 2015 13:39:26 GMT
((((Hugs)))) and prayers!
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Post by anothermom2two on May 27, 2015 13:48:03 GMT
You are in my prayers too. (((Hugs)))
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TheOtherMeg
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,541
Jun 25, 2014 20:58:14 GMT
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Post by TheOtherMeg on May 27, 2015 13:52:43 GMT
I love TXMary's mantra: "You don't have to be brave. You just have to show up." Sending warm, positive vibes of peace and strength to you, emelle64.
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
Jun 26, 2014 16:15:45 GMT
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Post by loco coco on May 27, 2015 13:53:12 GMT
You have my hugs, prayers and positive thoughts on this very hard day. Youve got this! You sound like an amazingly strong woman
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 13:35:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 13:53:30 GMT
Thinking of you today - hugs!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 13:35:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 13:53:34 GMT
emelle, you are in my thoughts and prayers. You have shown amazing strength, so if you need to cry or scream or punch something, just do it.
You can get through this. We're all pulling for you.
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