M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
Jun 29, 2014 12:11:41 GMT
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Post by M in Carolina on May 27, 2015 17:47:06 GMT
My mom was the poster child for helicopter moms, so there weren't a lot of times that I was left by myself. My parents also knew they couldn't trust my brother.
After my brother left home, I was left alone. I didn't have friends in the area since I went away to school, and my dh lived in another state. He would visit for at least a week during the summer.
My dad trusted us completely. He let us drive wherever we wanted to on day trips--we wouldn't stay together overnight somewhere, but that was our own decision. Dad gave us money to do cool things.
Since my brother was so rebellious and untrustworthy, I really didn't see the fun in being that way. Being trustworthy and contributing to the family above and beyond is the reason why my dad let me have horseback riding lessons and bought me a horse, and then let me go away to school in high school. He also let me take flying lessons when I was 17. I soloed my first plane before I was 18.
My parents didn't like leaving me alone, but that was more because of my poor health. I was left alone a lot during the day, but not really overnight. My dad knew that I could defend myself. I was a better shot than guys that had just finished boot camp.
The only way I really "rebelled" was by doing things like play soccer, fly airplanes, be really independent and believe differently than my mother. She believed all that purity and patriarchal stuff similar to the Duggars. My dad didn't. I started wearing jeans when I went to Bob Jones, I worked with my dad for years for the business experience because I wanted to do more with my life than be a wife and mother.
My mom once caught me with dh without my bra on. She had a cow and was insisting that we got married *immediately*. We were engaged and were going to get married in a little over a year. My dad talked her down, but I did hide a lot of stuff from her just because she was so uptight and unreasonable. Dh and I had decided on what we would and wouldn't do. My dad had encouraged us to make our own standards.
All of the stress that I had as a teen was because of my mom. There is so much that I couldn't share with her, and she thought we were best friends and talked about everything.
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Post by gmcwife1 on May 27, 2015 17:58:47 GMT
When my parents went out of town and left me alone, I was definitely a rule follower. I did plenty of things at other times that were rule breaking, but I knew when my parents were out of town that the neighbors were aware and if they noticed anything out of sorts, my parents would be told. That would have spoiled the good thing I had going, with lots of freedom and trust because my parents had never so much as suspected I was doing anything I shouldn't be. I didn't want that to end, so I followed the rules to a t. We had those neighbors too We snuck out and did all kinds of stupid things when our parents were home, but never had a party when they left us alone.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on May 27, 2015 18:11:15 GMT
I was pretty much a rule follower. No parties or anything like that. But I was dating DH when I was 16 and, well I guess you could say that we didn't follow any rules, in that regard. I remember my parents letting me spend the night at his house, when his parents were gone for the weekend... at 16. I have no clue what they were thinking!
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Post by melanell on May 27, 2015 18:13:50 GMT
When left home alone, I followed the rules.
I did break some rules, but not in those circumstances. Having that freedom meant way too much to me to take a chance on losing it.
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Post by Tamhugh on May 27, 2015 19:12:44 GMT
My parents went away for a week when I was 19 and my younger siblings were 15 and 14. They threw a party and were hammered. Stuff got broken. My parents never suspected a thing. A few years ago, my sister apparently admitted to my mom that she drank that week. She did not mention a party but she did say she drank and told my mom it was the first time she drank (it was not). She also told my mom that I bought her the alcohol. I had to point out that I was 19 and I wasn't old enough to buy the alcohol. I adore my sister but it really annoyed the hell out of me. She is 44 and still fibbing about her teenaged drinking.
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Post by polz on May 27, 2015 20:27:21 GMT
My Mum left me alone for 2 weeks over summer when I was 14. She had some friends check up on me. They were the most relaxed checking up people ever. Like I wanted to go to some fireworks. They finished at midnight. My Mother's friends said they would pick me up and didn't come until 4am. There were no cellphones back then. They also went several days without coming over to the house. My Mum was horrified. After that, she didn't bother with supervision and just let me stay home. I was pretty boring.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,692
Location: Ohio
Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on May 27, 2015 20:34:28 GMT
I was a rule follower, we had my boyfriend over but with permission of course (silly parents)
We lived waaaaay in the country and my sister and I were both terrified of the pitch black, no way were we opening the door to let anyone in for a party, we saw Scream!
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Post by eebud on May 27, 2015 20:52:49 GMT
I was not a rule follower. That is probably all I should admit to on the internet. LOL Over the years, I have told my mom about some things that went on but there is plenty that she doesn't need to know. LOL
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perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
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Post by perumbula on May 27, 2015 20:57:23 GMT
Total rule follower. When I was a freshman in high school, my parents left for a two week vacation, leaving my 17 year old sister in charge. I had another sister in high school (junior), a brother in middle school, and a sister in elementary school. Mom left enough food for us to eat and my Super Rule Follower sister made sure there were meals every night and that we basically did our chores. It was during the school year and it did not interfere with our homework getting done or our attendence. Mom even left a few pre-signed absentee notes we could use if someone got sick. None of them got used. we were all such goodie two shoes. When youngest sister got left for a weekend in high school, she threw a drunken bash. She totally got caught. I was very grateful that Super Sister was the oldest because my parents may have had high expectations but they gave us a lot of freedom because she was so trustworthy. If youngest sister had been the oldest girl our lives would have been shut down hard.
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Post by Zee on May 27, 2015 22:13:49 GMT
I wasn't a rule follower per se, but I would never have a party at my house when left alone. I have seen houses get completely trashed and I wasn't about to let that happen at my house, no way, no how. My kids absolutely feel the same way so I have no qualms about leaving them alone.
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Post by maryland on May 27, 2015 22:16:33 GMT
No, never had a party or did anything wrong when they were out of town. They trusted me and pretty much always agreed to anything I asked to do. So I didn't want to disappoint them. I also had a great boyfriend, and never wanted to do anything "bad" because I didn't want to think I was a bad influence (and wanted to impress his parents).
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Post by wholarmor on May 27, 2015 22:56:38 GMT
I was left alone overnight a couple of times, but I was a rule follower, and I babysat my sister who was 9 years younger than me. I wasn't popular in school, either, so I never got invited to parties.
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Post by epeanymous on May 27, 2015 23:03:38 GMT
I wasn't left alone because my parents never went anywhere (I did regularly overnight-babysit kids).
I did go to a lot of parties at houses where the parents were out of town.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on May 27, 2015 23:09:25 GMT
I can remember when I was in high school, against my better judgment ending up at one of those parties. There was drinking, drugs, sex and I wanted to leave but the friend I went with who drove did not want to leave. I was fortunate that another friend had the same vibe and we left and he gave me a ride home.
I wonder if those parents left condoms for their guests.
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Post by PEArfect on May 27, 2015 23:32:35 GMT
My parents were never gone overnight, and they were 'free range parents', but I was also rule follower. My older brother was not. My parents allowed my LH to move in with me when we were 17. Seems crazy now that our oldest daughter is 16.
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Post by Woobster on May 27, 2015 23:47:22 GMT
I followed the majority of the rules... but I broke a couple really BIG ones!
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Post by anxiousmom on May 28, 2015 1:05:07 GMT
I wonder if those parents left condoms for their guests. My guess is that the parents didn't know that they were hosting a party.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on May 28, 2015 1:20:42 GMT
Breaker..
I followed in the tradition of my older siblings and had many many mnny many parties.
One so large I called the police and asked them to come get the people out of my house.
I cleaned for a week. It was impossible to get all the damage fixed.
My two younger siblings learned from me.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on May 28, 2015 1:37:28 GMT
I wasn't a rule follower but didn't have parties at my own house.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,583
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on May 28, 2015 1:46:50 GMT
It never would have occurred to me to have a party, or to have my boyfriend over. In hindsight, it makes me feel like a prude, but I guess that was just not my chosen arena for rebellion.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 15:17:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 1:54:05 GMT
I was mostly a rule follower. I had an older sibling who got into some trouble in high school. I didn't want to face the same consequences (they were fair). My dad never did anything to scare me, but for some reason I knew I never wanted to piss him off! I know I was left home overnight well before high school. It wasn't a big deal.
Now my son has a "friend", I would be hesitant except if his little sister was home. She would tell me EVERYTHING.
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