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Post by gar on May 27, 2015 19:09:26 GMT
I somewhat disagree with this. Yes, I send my kids outside to play, in the backyard. if they go in front, I stay out there with them. Every time I think, I need to relax a bit, there's a story about the little girl who was abducted and killed because a guy in a truck pulled up, said come here and when she got close enough, he grabbed her. Another woman about 2 blocks from where we live got caught in a media firestorm when her infant daughter went missing and she claimed her home had been broken into. While I have my own beliefs about what happened you can be darn sure I checked my kids windows before they go to sleep. When we went out to brunch on mothers day, my 6 year old accidentally ran in front of some people walking out of the restaurant. He was disciplined, but before I could get him to turn around and apologize, the woman he ran in front of was spouting off to her husband about how crappy and poorly behaved my kid was. loud enough for me to hear it. All from a 2 second interaction that he was in fact disciplined for. I find the general statements about how all of this generation is entitled or all of this generation are brats to be so insulting. I'm raising well mannered, good kids and am scrambling as fast as I can to keep them safe in an increasingly unsafe world while giving them enough independence to be functional when they are old enough. Will they act out? sure, they're kids. Will they be punished for it? you bet they will. Will I smack them on the butt with a hairbrush or ruler the way my parents and teachers did? Nope. I agree with a PP, there were shitty kids in past generations and there will be shitty kids in this one. It's human nature. Your children are young perhaps, so of course, as I said, you need to take reasonable precautions but if you're still outside playing with them when they're 14, well.........  |
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,971 
Location: NW PA
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Post by Judy26 on May 27, 2015 19:22:41 GMT
I have taught for 33 years in all grade levels from elementary through high school. While every class has it's bad apples (I have the worst 8th graders this year that I have ever taught, bar none.) I can say that the majority of kids are kind hearted, hard working and worried about the world they are growing up in. Perhaps the behavior issues of today's student are more pronounced. But when I started teaching those students would have been expelled and they were never able to catch up to their peers educationally. Now we try to save every child and while it isn't easy or pretty, it is at least sometimes successful.
Tomorrow is our senior class's final day of school. I am glad to know that these kids will one day be making decisions that will affect society. They are, for the most part, amazing students who look out for each other and strive to set good examples for others. None of us are perfect but if media started emphasizing the positive attributes of our youth instead of sensationalizing the negatives we would all see that kids are kids. Each generation is different but the world is not going to hell in a hand basket because of speak easies, Elvis, video games or cell phones. (Pick your generation's poison.) Generalizing about "kids these days" is really no different than saying boys are smarter than girls or stay at home moms are better than working moms. I've always lived with the idea that if you look for the good in people , that is what you will find and visa versa. Painting an entire generation with the same broad paintbrush will give you a boring and very unrealistic picture.
Hopping off my soapbox now...
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,381
Location: PNW
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Post by breetheflea on May 27, 2015 20:34:05 GMT
I think my parents had an easier job than I do because they could leave us home alone, let us go outside whenever we wanted, take us to the store and leave us in the car, give us change and send us to the store alone.... I feel like I can't let me kids go upstairs without me because something might happen and I'll be on the 5 o'clock news for being the world's worst parent. I'm exaggerating but not by much... My point was that I know it's safer statistically now than when I was a kid but if I leave my kid in the car to go into a store, or send them to the store alone there is a chance I will have the police on my doorstep. I ran around my neighborhood growing up all day long, and besides being yelled at for riding my bike in an apartment parking lot when I didn't live there no one ever said a word... |
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Post by padresfan619 on May 27, 2015 20:46:40 GMT
I think my parents had an easier job than I do because they could leave us home alone, let us go outside whenever we wanted, take us to the store and leave us in the car, give us change and send us to the store alone.... I feel like I can't let me kids go upstairs without me because something might happen and I'll be on the 5 o'clock news for being the world's worst parent. I'm exaggerating but not by much... My point was that I know it's safer statistically now than when I was a kid but if I leave my kid in the car to go into a store, or send them to the store alone there is a chance I will have the police on my doorstep. I ran around my neighborhood growing up all day long, and besides being yelled at for riding my bike in an apartment parking lot when I didn't live there no one ever said a word... ITA, especially after that news story of the parents being investigated by CPS for allowing their two kids to walk to and from the park by themselves. It was about a mile walk. |
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Post by Tamhugh on May 27, 2015 20:55:15 GMT
I'm with pjaye on this. I really do think it was better in my day. There is absolutely no question in my mind that kids were more disciplined when I was growing up. Have you read any of the teacher threads here? Teachers are in despair trying to control classrooms with entitled brats. When I was a kid, the teacher had the right to discipline (and the parents would back him/her). Today the kid is always right. We had almost NO teenage pregnancy, birth control wasn't handed out like candy in the school. Kids played outside and weren't obese from lack of exercise. I could go on and on--but having lived in the previous generation and this generation, I have no doubt that things were better before. The statistics don't agree with you about teen pregnancy at all. Back then they would send the girl away and force jef to adopt it out. I prefer how it's done today. Or as my MIL says, "an awful lot of people got married at 17 or 18 and had a premature honeymoon baby". I do have to agree that kids in a very general sense are more entitled than we were. I include my own children in that and they weren't given as much as some of their friends. I was amazed at how many of DS's friends took several months off after college to "relax" before job hunting. And several of them jump jobs like crazy because they always feel they deserve more money, more respect, more everything before actually proving themselves to get it. On the other hand, my kids and their generation (again, generalizing) are extremely politically active and aware. They feel strongly about causes and educate themselves on what they support or don't support. They are more open to other cultures, religions, and sexual identities than older ones. And when I get a little maudlin and think that maybe I don't want grandkids with the way the world is today, I remember the times we were born in. My parents were poor teenagers when they started a family. They continued to have children throughout the 60s, with Vietnam, the sexual revolution, and massive drug use as their current events. Am I sometimes scared for the future of my adult children and future grandkids? Sure. But probably not much more scared than my parents or grandparents were. |
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imsirius
Prolific Pea
Call it as I see it.
Posts: 7,661
Location: Floating in the black veil.
Jul 12, 2014 19:59:28 GMT
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Post by imsirius on May 27, 2015 20:55:38 GMT
I don't agree at all and from what I've read...I think I'm younger than you, but I am firmly on your MIL's side. I don't think parents are doing as good a job these days as our parents did and I think was better in their day. again agreeing with your ML here, I don't think they do either. Kids don't get enough discipline, they get far too much "stuff" and they are too used to getting what they want, when they want it and it's producing a generation of spoilt brats with a sense of entitlement and no impulse control. I have to agree 1000% with this. Parents these days are so much more concerned with being their kids' friends than their parents. My in laws for example. My niece is a spoiled rotten, mean and selfish little girl. They moved in with us for a few months and I am astounded at the way she talks to my BIL and SIL and they do NOTHING. She is never disciplined and when *I* try to set her straight (for hitting my dd or taking her things without asking, breaking things with no remorse etc) they tell me to MMOB!!! I told my SIL that if my niece is in MY care (meaning I'm watching her because they are too lazy to come upstairs and do it) then I'm going to discipline her as needed. Now they tell her not to listen to me! Thank GOD they are moving in five days. I feel sorry for my niece because she is going to be just like my SIL. Selfish, spoiled and rude. That's no way to raise a kid. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on May 27, 2015 20:59:05 GMT
There are a lot of times when I doubt my parenting. Because I don't get much input or assistance from my kids' dad, I have the stress of parenting them on my own. But looking back on my childhood I can honestly say, I am doing a better job than my parents did. I don't know if my kids will turn out the way that I necessarily want them to and I don't have total control over that, but I do believe that I am raising them in a way that is more connected than my parents. And I am doing it with less money too. I do feel like I am raising people who will be successful, productive citizens as of right now. And I feel like they know that they can make mistakes because I am role modeling that life isn't perfect. I felt very much growing up like I was unable to make mistakes and I did not always know that my parents loved me. My kids always know that I love them and they know I'm not perfect either, but I make mistakes, dust myself off, and go forward again. I think I am role modeling resilience which is not something that was shown to me. They have seen us have a lot in life and they have lived though us having very little. I think they appreciate everything that is given to them.
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Post by gar on May 27, 2015 20:59:52 GMT
I don't agree at all and from what I've read...I think I'm younger than you, but I am firmly on your MIL's side. I don't think parents are doing as good a job these days as our parents did and I think was better in their day. again agreeing with your ML here, I don't think they do either. Kids don't get enough discipline, they get far too much "stuff" and they are too used to getting what they want, when they want it and it's producing a generation of spoilt brats with a sense of entitlement and no impulse control. I have to agree 1000% with this. Parents these days are so much more concerned with being their kids' friends than their parents. My in laws for example. My niece is a spoiled rotten, mean and selfish little girl. They moved in with us for a few months and I am astounded at the way she talks to my BIL and SIL and they do NOTHING. She is never disciplined and when *I* try to set her straight (for hitting my dd or taking her things without asking, breaking things with no remorse etc) they tell me to MMOB!!! I told my SIL that if my niece is in MY care (meaning I'm watching her because they are too lazy to come upstairs and do it) then I'm going to discipline her as needed. Now they tell her not to listen to me! Thank GOD they are moving in five days. I feel sorry for my niece because she is going to be just like my SIL. Selfish, spoiled and rude. That's no way to raise a kid. Yikes. She sounds delightful!  |
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Post by doesitmatter on May 27, 2015 21:03:37 GMT
because saying it on FB will just piss my MIL off...and i don't need anymore of her drama but seriously do all older people think that it was 'better in their day'? am i going to turn into one of those people i am so tired of hearing that parent's nowadays don't know how to raise kids that our kids are entitled brats logically - one would think that EVERY generation thinks theirs is the best i mean...my MIL's generation was gyrating to elvis on the ed sullivan show...and i bet their grandmothers were complaining that they weren't raised right give it a rest people...we are doing just as good as you did and if i hear that she only had one doll and sticks to play with..i might just scream! gina Or that no one uses punctuation today???  Totally messing with you, not meant snarky,but you really walked into that one. Sorry - I couldn't resist! |
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Post by doesitmatter on May 27, 2015 21:06:07 GMT
I agree with the other replies, some things were better then and some things are better now.
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happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
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Post by happymomma on May 27, 2015 21:11:17 GMT
I'm with pjaye on this. I really do think it was better in my day. There is absolutely no question in my mind that kids were more disciplined when I was growing up. Have you read any of the teacher threads here? Teachers are in despair trying to control classrooms with entitled brats. When I was a kid, the teacher had the right to discipline (and the parents would back him/her). Today the kid is always right. We had almost NO teenage pregnancy, birth control wasn't handed out like candy in the school. Kids played outside and weren't obese from lack of exercise. I could go on and on--but having lived in the previous generation and this generation, I have no doubt that things were better before. Thought I haven't read all of the replies, I am with you two. I guess we are the minority. I'm not even that old, but I cringe when I see friends, even really good people, just handing their kids stuff with never having to work a lick for it. One huge difference I see, even from my graduating class of 1985, is the huge number of teen pregnancies and multiple baby-daddies, baby-mommas out there. I think there were TWO girls in high school that were pregnant. Now it is rampant. And now I am not saying ALL, but many/most of the girls having babies are not nurturing them. It's almost like a status symbol to be pushing a stroller to the beach or mall now. The irritating part is that so many of these girls drop out and never go on to be successful, relying on welfare programs to raise their kids. Often the fathers are not even involved. Many of you seem to think these things are not happening, I guess??? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 21:15:37 GMT
One huge difference I see, even from my graduating class of 1985, is the huge number of teen pregnancies and multiple baby-daddies, baby-mommas out there. I think there were TWO girls in high school that were pregnant. Now it is rampant. And now I am not saying ALL, but many/most of the girls having babies are not nurturing them. It's almost like a status symbol to be pushing a stroller to the beach or mall now. The irritating part is that so many of these girls drop out and never go on to be successful, relying on welfare programs to raise their kids. Often the fathers are not even involved. Many of you seem to think these things are not happening, I guess??? I encourage you to review the statistics I posted above about teen pregnancies, because you are actually quite wrong. Teen pregnancies were much more common in the '80s than they are now. In fact, they are at historic lows now. |
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happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by happymomma on May 27, 2015 21:29:22 GMT
One huge difference I see, even from my graduating class of 1985, is the huge number of teen pregnancies and multiple baby-daddies, baby-mommas out there. I think there were TWO girls in high school that were pregnant. Now it is rampant. And now I am not saying ALL, but many/most of the girls having babies are not nurturing them. It's almost like a status symbol to be pushing a stroller to the beach or mall now. The irritating part is that so many of these girls drop out and never go on to be successful, relying on welfare programs to raise their kids. Often the fathers are not even involved. Many of you seem to think these things are not happening, I guess??? I encourage you to review the statistics I posted above about teen pregnancies, because you are actually quite wrong. Teen pregnancies were much more common in the '80s than they are now. In fact, they are at historic lows now. I did see your charts. I am amazed at them. I guess it is only in my town that things have changed? Seriously, I can name the two girls that were pregnant in my school. By the time my son was in HS 21 years later there were many more. He would come home and tell me about them. Now I have nieces there and it is just 'normal' for teen girls to be pregnant. I dunno? I can also truly say that 'back then' my parents ran the household. Maybe my house was one in a million? I dunno. While it is good to see parents being more actively involved with their kids' activities, I see in my younger friends' homes the entire household revolving around the kids' schedules. And God forbid you don't invite kids to a wedding or party. We have seen threads on here about that several times, when parents refuse to get a sitter so they can attend an adults-only event. I'd be interested to see a few long-term school teachers chime in here about the differences in GENERAL between the generations. Like I said, maybe it is just my small town that this is happening in? I do know that for ME, things were much different in my upbringing than I see happening now. My friends and I walked to and from school, never got a ride, even during Michigan snowstorm weather. Now there is a dropoff pickup line at the schools. My brother and I used to go door to door for shoveling, raking and lawn cutting jobs. I have had a knock on my door ONE time from kids looking to earn their own money that way. ONE time and I praised the crap out of those kids. So, I guess I am an old fuddy duddy. So be it. |
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 13:37:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 21:36:13 GMT
I don't know what part of the country you are in, but teen pregnancy rates in the south are generally much higher than they are in the rest of the country, so perhaps while the country's rates are at all-time lows, your particular area is not.
Also, I was class of 1991. I thought we only had one girl in our school who got pregnant. In fact, I know now that there were AT LEAST six more (and likely more that I don't know about, or who had abortions without anyone knowing), but they "moved away" before anyone knew they were pregnant. The families "decided to move back" after the babies were born and given up for adoption. I had no idea people were still going to those kinds of lengths to hide a teen pregnancy at that point. but apparently, they were.
Point being, it's possible that there were more girls in your school who got pregnant than you realized.
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happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by happymomma on May 27, 2015 21:58:06 GMT
I don't know what part of the country you are in, but teen pregnancy rates in the south are generally much higher than they are in the rest of the country, so perhaps while the country's rates are at all-time lows, your particular area is not. Also, I was class of 1991. I thought we only had one girl in our school who got pregnant. In fact, I know now that there were AT LEAST six more (and likely more that I don't know about, or who had abortions without anyone knowing), but they "moved away" before anyone knew they were pregnant. The families "decided to move back" after the babies were born and given up for adoption. I had no idea people were still going to those kinds of lengths to hide a teen pregnancy at that point. but apparently, they were. Point being, it's possible that there were more girls in your school who got pregnant than you realized. You may be right. I guess it is just more accepted these days, even if the taxpayers support the babies. |
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Deleted
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Oct 7, 2024 13:37:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 22:02:47 GMT
I don't know what part of the country you are in, but teen pregnancy rates in the south are generally much higher than they are in the rest of the country, so perhaps while the country's rates are at all-time lows, your particular area is not. Also, I was class of 1991. I thought we only had one girl in our school who got pregnant. In fact, I know now that there were AT LEAST six more (and likely more that I don't know about, or who had abortions without anyone knowing), but they "moved away" before anyone knew they were pregnant. The families "decided to move back" after the babies were born and given up for adoption. I had no idea people were still going to those kinds of lengths to hide a teen pregnancy at that point. but apparently, they were. Point being, it's possible that there were more girls in your school who got pregnant than you realized. You may be right. I guess it is just more accepted these days, even if the taxpayers support the babies. I'd rather the taxpayers support the babies than go back to the very ugly history surrounding teen pregnancies of old. Some were told their baby DIED and it was adopted without them knowing it. Or they were forced to adopt it out, get married, leave their family, forced abortions, etc. not only are the pregnancy rates lower today but these girls gets to make their own legal choices. |
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ginacivey
Pearl Clutcher
refupea #2 in southeast missouri
Posts: 4,685
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Post by ginacivey on May 27, 2015 23:45:02 GMT
because saying it on FB will just piss my MIL off...and i don't need anymore of her drama but seriously do all older people think that it was 'better in their day'? am i going to turn into one of those people i am so tired of hearing that parent's nowadays don't know how to raise kids that our kids are entitled brats logically - one would think that EVERY generation thinks theirs is the best i mean...my MIL's generation was gyrating to elvis on the ed sullivan show...and i bet their grandmothers were complaining that they weren't raised right give it a rest people...we are doing just as good as you did and if i hear that she only had one doll and sticks to play with..i might just scream! gina Or that no one uses punctuation today??? Totally messing with you, not meant snarky,but you really walked into that one. Sorry - I couldn't resist! You must be new! |
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Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Nicole in TX on May 28, 2015 0:06:30 GMT
Two thoughts:
1) You can't take your impression of what is happening in your local community and make a generalization about the United States (or an entire generation) as a whole.
2) My grandmother got pregnant with my uncle her junior year of high school. This would have been in 1936. She was allowed to stay in school because the principal's daughter was also pregnant. (Her thoughts.) She did drop out and not finish high school, but not because she was forced to. She chose to stay home and take care of her son.
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Post by elaine on May 28, 2015 0:12:19 GMT
Hahaha! I'm in my steroid rage period right now and am so soooo tempted to jump in.
I'll leave it at: just like every generation before, there are some things I like about the environment the future generation is being raised in and some things I don't like so much. It is no different than ANY generation before and any generation yet to come.
I think the recent sexting threads is a good reminder of that.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 0:17:50 GMT
I remember what "we" were like and I know what DS and his friends are like. His friends are way more motivated than we were, they got way better grades, they didn't skip school (my son has a heart attack every time he has to miss a class), they are so much more polite, they don't lip people off, and are all round better citizens than we ever were. He is 27 years younger than I am and I don't think it's just parenting that made him this way. His schooling and other influences made him the person he is. I am only speaking for the 20 odd kids his age I know about, but they are all great kids!
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
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Post by scrapaddie on May 28, 2015 0:18:07 GMT
I don't agree at all and from what I've read...I think I'm younger than you, but I am firmly on your MIL's side. I don't think parents are doing as good a job these days as our parents did and I think was better in their day. again agreeing with your ML here, I don't think they do either. Kids don't get enough discipline, they get far too much "stuff" and they are too used to getting what they want, when they want it and it's producing a generation of spoilt brats with a sense of entitlement and no impulse control. When my DD was young, she was constantly wanting the many things that her friends got. My reply was it's good to want things. It would be very sad if there was nothing in this world that you wanted. I don't think she appreciated the answer. But she has grown into a very fine young woman. |
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Post by hop2 on May 28, 2015 0:20:56 GMT
I might be the opposite. I think that maybe our world has a chance with this generation. They might be more entitled, but they are also more environmentally and socially aware. Right now they are kids, so of course they are little assholes, that's what they do. Weren't we all a bunch of punks at one time? I know I was! This And I try really really hard to remember this when my 2 are in an entitled mood because *everyone* else is blah blah blah. |
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Post by JBeans on May 28, 2015 0:23:20 GMT
Here's what I see when someone starts in with the rant of how it was better in their day.....  |
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Post by hop2 on May 28, 2015 0:24:33 GMT
I think my parents had an easier job than I do because they could leave us home alone, let us go outside whenever we wanted, take us to the store and leave us in the car, give us change and send us to the store alone.... I feel like I can't let me kids go upstairs without me because something might happen and I'll be on the 5 o'clock news for being the world's worst parent. I'm exaggerating but not by much... That's sort of thing is largely in your mind. You can choose to be ruled by fear or you can be realistic and, whilst not ignoring *real* risks, can allow kids to have a fair amount of freedom....often a lot more than many parents seem prepared to really think about, rather than make knee jerk reactions about. Yea, largely in your mind until some busy body calls DYFS because you let your kids walk 2 blocks to the park alone. Then the crap hits the fan. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 1:52:38 GMT
I don't think that the reason why teachers have so much more of a challenge now is not because the kids themselves are worse. Many teachers are not supported by administration or parents the way they used to be. I *knew* if I got in trouble at school that I would get in serious trouble at home. Unfortunately, that is not the way that it is now. However, there are *tons* of awesome kids out there, raised by great parents. Case in point: Class Forgoes Trip to Give Principal Money to Treat Cancer |
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Post by lancermom on May 28, 2015 3:09:22 GMT
We are trying to raise our kids the way we were, but. We didn't have all the electronics, social media, and other crap. I feel the it is harder to be a parent today, than it was when my parents raised us. I also feel it will be harder for my kids. My MIL even told me that we are doing the best we can. Being a parent sucks some days!
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Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Grom Pea on May 28, 2015 14:24:26 GMT
Did anyone else have the song kids from bye bye Birdie running through their head as they read this ? Kids! I don't know what's wrong with these kids today! Kids! Who can understand anything they say? Kids! They are disobedient, disrespectful oafs! Noisy, crazy, dirty, lazy, loafers! While we're on the subject: Kids! You can talk and talk till your face is blue! Kids! But they still just do what they want to do! Why can't they be like we were, Perfect in every way? What's the matter with kids today? Kids! I've tried to raise him the best I could Kids! Kids! Laughing, singing, dancing, grinning, morons! And while we're on the subject! Kids! They are just impossible to control! Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock an' roll! Why can't they dance like we did What's wrong with Sammy Kaye? What's the matter with kids today! More lyrics www.allthelyrics.com/lyrics/bye_bye_birdie_soundtrack/paul_lynde_kids-lyrics-66763.html#ixzz3bRXTv0xb |
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Post by anxiousmom on May 28, 2015 14:28:39 GMT
I don't think that the reason why teachers have so much more of a challenge now is not because the kids themselves are worse. Many teachers are not supported by administration or parents the way they used to be. I *knew* if I got in trouble at school that I would get in serious trouble at home. Unfortunately, that is not the way that it is now. However, there are *tons* of awesome kids out there, raised by great parents. Case in point: Class Forgoes Trip to Give Principal Money to Treat CancerI saw this earlier, my kid and I talked about it over breakfast. There really are some amazing kids out there, and we do them a disservice in a way by making broad generalizations about 'the kids of today.' I am not saying that there aren't some issues that are more prevalent now than in years past, but there is still an awful lot of good too. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 14:56:08 GMT
I'm with pjaye on this. I really do think it was better in my day. There is absolutely no question in my mind that kids were more disciplined when I was growing up. Have you read any of the teacher threads here? Teachers are in despair trying to control classrooms with entitled brats. When I was a kid, the teacher had the right to discipline (and the parents would back him/her). Today the kid is always right. We had almost NO teenage pregnancy, birth control wasn't handed out like candy in the school. Kids played outside and weren't obese from lack of exercise. I could go on and on--but having lived in the previous generation and this generation, I have no doubt that things were better before. why do you think they post here? because this is a message board MOSTLY full of vents, frustrations and whinges rarely do you see someone come on here and say 'hey guys, just checking in. had an awesome day at work. love ALL the kids, no challenges at all to mention today. bye' your logic is flawed |
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Time to get off the internet!
